Free Will and Predestination - dating

[sampa]

So I was talking to somebody the other day and we were talking about what I've learned from people I have dated this past year. And things I have learned and how God was involved.

The person I was talking to said something about that she believes more in God giving us Free Will how things happen (ex: dating). She said the other person that is in our phone prayer group would be more on the predestination side. Can someone explain more about this? Is there some kind of theology that leans more towards one than the other? And how God is involved?

And please I don't want any arguing or taking different sides in this thread. I'm just genuinely trying to understand the distinction. I have studied reformed doctrines a little bit, and I'm not sure if that's what she's referencing.

How does predestination factor in when dating people? And how does free will factor into dating? I'm sure some of the answers are obvious but I just thought it was a strange thing to bring up when I was talking about what I've learned.

 

[( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Lol

 

[sampa]

Lol

???

 

[d taylor]

Predestination in the Bible is directed toward service.
For and example God chose The Nation of Israel as a people for Himself. Because satan had the gentile kingdoms of the world. So God chose out of gentiles a person (Abram) than He would have grow a people for Himself.
God also chose Mary to birth The Messiah.

Not sure if the Bible supports that God predestines people to dating or marriage.

 

[sampa]

Predestination in the Bible is directed toward service.
For and example God chose The Nation of Israel as a people for Himself. Because satan had the gentile kingdoms of the world. So God chose out of gentiles a person (Abram) than He would have grow a people for Himself.
God also chose Mary to birth The Messiah.

Not sure if the Bible supports that God predestines people to dating or marriage.

Thanks d taylor for your thoughts. Something to think on.

 

[d taylor]

Thanks d taylor for your thoughts. Something to think on.

You are welcome, your biological parents would be something that would be an example of predestination. That would fall into an area outside of Gods choosing people for service.

But even that, there have been many that, that is as far as their roll goes, as some children are placed in adoption, etc.... and actually end up with parents, that are different than their biological contributors.

 

[sampa]

You are welcome, your biological parents would be something that would be an example of predestination. That would fall into an area outside of Gods choosing people for service.

But even that, there have been many that, that is as far as their roll goes, as some children are placed in adoption, etc.... and actually end up with parents, that are different than their biological contributors.

Thanks that makes sense. Although my biological parents did not last but a few years, my biological father said he prayed for me before I was born. I almost think that he knew that he would have a daughter before I was even conceived. He had a gifting for foreknowledge. I can see how that works in adoption also I'm probably some other unique situations.

I'm actually thinking of a biblical situation but the name escapes Me of the woman who helped the spies. I think she was maybe a prostitute? It's in the old testament. But I think she became part of the lineage of Jesus.

 

[d taylor]

Thanks that makes sense. Although my biological parents did not last but a few years, my biological father said he prayed for me before I was born. I almost think that he knew that he would have a daughter before I was even conceived. He had a gifting for foreknowledge. I can see how that works in adoption also I'm probably some other unique situations.

I'm actually thinking of a biblical situation but the name escapes Me of the woman who helped the spies. I think she was maybe a prostitute? It's in the old testament. But I think she became part of the lineage of Jesus.

Rahab

 

[sampa]

Rahab

Yep, that's it!

 

[d taylor]

Thanks that makes sense. Although my biological parents did not last but a few years, my biological father said he prayed for me before I was born. I almost think that he knew that he would have a daughter before I was even conceived. He had a gifting for foreknowledge. I can see how that works in adoption also I'm probably some other unique situations.

I'm actually thinking of a biblical situation but the name escapes Me of the woman who helped the spies. I think she was maybe a prostitute? It's in the old testament. But I think she became part of the lineage of Jesus.

I used the birth as an example because that is simply a clear example of a person having no choice in their birth.

Kind of like John the Baptist before he was born God had him chosen to do what he did.

 

[sampa]

I used the birth as an example because that is simply a clear example of a person having no choice in their birth.

Kind of like John the Baptist before he was born God had him chosen to do what he did.

Thanks! That makes sense.
I wonder if the book of Job factors into this? Like the conversation between God and Satan? Would his testing factor into predestination? Or free will? Or pretty much both?

 

[public hermit]

How does predestination factor in when dating people? And how does free will factor into dating?

Good questions. I am trying to consider the (potentially) practical implications of each position. In one sense, I want to say they aren't going to look all that different. Both parties are going to have to go through the usual happenings that come with dating. The newness and excitement, the questions and uncertainty, whatever. But what would be different?

Maybe the way each views the relationship, in general? The party that has a robust notion of free will might feel more responsibility and the need to be intentional in order to make it work? The party who embraces a more robust notion of (relationship?) predestination might feel it will either work or not, according to God's will? Would they be laid back, just letting it fall in place, or not? I don't know. Both of those positions could be shown in a more negative or positive light with some tweaking, but I'm just projecting a theological tendency on how one might view relationships.

To be honest, I'm inclined to think it wouldn't make much practical difference. But a couple with said differences might have some "interesting" date conversations. "Hmm, she's quiet. This is uncomfortable. Maybe I should bring up predestination? Liven things up a bit?"

 

[sampa]

Good questions. I am trying to consider the (potentially) practical implications of each position. In one sense, I want to say they aren't going to look all that different. Both parties are going to have to go through the usual happenings that come with dating. The newness and excitement, the questions and uncertainty, whatever. But what would be different?

Maybe the way each views the relationship, in general? The party that has a robust notion of free will might feel more responsibility and the need to be intentional in order to make it work? The party who embraces a more robust notion of (relationship?) predestination might feel it will either work or not, according to God's will? Would they be laid back, just letting it fall in place, or not? I don't know. Both of those positions could be shown in a more negative or positive light with some tweaking, but I'm just projecting a theological tendency on how one might view relationships.

To be honest, I'm inclined to think it wouldn't make much practical difference. But a couple with said differences might have some "interesting" date conversations. "Hmm, she's quiet. This is uncomfortable. Maybe I should bring up predestination? Liven things up a bit?"

It definitely wouldn't be your usual conversation or Icebreaker.

The example of Free Will and possibly someone working more at a relationship is an interesting thought.

 

[public hermit]

The example of Free Will and possibly someone working more at a relationship is an interesting thought.

It is. But how many people have the kind of character that conforms perfectly with their stated theological positions? The free will individual might be very laid back and just let things happen, while the predestination individual might be very intentional and involved. I'm thinking personal characteristics are going to play a larger role in relationships than settled theological positions.

 

[sampa]

It is. But how many people have the kind of character that conforms perfectly with their stated theological positions? The free will individual might be very laid back and just let things happen, while the predestination individual might be very intentional and involved. I'm thinking personal characteristics are going to play a larger role in relationships than settled theological positions.

I agree it's probably going to be personal characteristics playing a larger role. For example myself when I was having difficulty with a relationship I kept thinking as I watered the garden that it could be compared to a garden that relationships take work. If you don't water the garden it won't work. But at the same time I thought in Christ all things are possible. Even the impossible, because he is the true living water. does that factor into free will or predestination, probably not and just my personality and my way of thinking.

 

[d taylor]

Thanks! That makes sense.
I wonder if the book of Job factors into this? Like the conversation between God and Satan? Would his testing factor into predestination? Or free will? Or pretty much both?

That is a good question. since we are Gods creation, God can see fit to use us as He needs a person to address a certain situation.

My main objection in predestination is the one made toward salvation that God predestination some to hell etc.. i just do not see any area supporting that God has predestine just a few people for Eternal Life.

 

[sampa]

That is a good question. since we are Gods creation, God can see fit to use us as He needs a person to address a certain situation.

My main objection in predestination is the one made toward salvation that God predestination some to hell etc.. i just do not see any area supporting that God has predestine just a few people for Eternal Life.

I think me mentioning the conversation between Satan and God in the book of Job was maybe what started the conversation about Free Will versus predestination. I was comparing that to some of the dating experiences that I've had that have seemed like some kind of testing and very supernatural events around me that seemed to statistically uncommon and uncoincidental.

I understand what you're talking about with predestination and that is what I'm usually used to seeing the conversation between Free Will and predestination focus on rather than the relationships that we get into.

 

[bèlla]

In respect to dating...

The concept hails from Jewish teachings on the bashert. The notion there's a preordained person we're meant to marry. Our divine partner. Soulmate implies a similar ideal.

Do I agree?

I have a close connection. It has broken on 3 occasions. The Lord reconciled us every time. We've known each other 18 years. Our disagreements mirror the splits. We never argue. We've reached the conclusion He wants us together and stay put. She is my Jonathan.

Another was for a time. It stretched me spiritually. I reached a summit I've never known. A drive I can't replicate. He brought me closer to God. But he's an atheist.

The last is closer to the ideal you're addressing. We were friends and the Lord brought him to my attention. In many respects he's a combination of the two. He's a lot like my best friend. Our connection has weathered separations. The Lord put us back together in every instance. We don't argue either.

Unlike other men, I have a deeper sense of consciousness where he's concerned. I'm experiencing a similar challenge I didn't encounter with others. He inspires a want for holiness no one has. When I fall short it hurts. Much like before, I try to do my best. But I'm out of practice. I haven't hit my stride yet but I'll get there.

The desire of my heart was to find someone like my best friend. I wanted a spiritual union. Someone nestled in my soul. That isn't euphoric and it doesn't hail from Eros. Its found in agape. I'm not orchestrating what's happening inside of me. God's stirring the waters for His purposes.

Is he my bashert?

I believe so. Or I'm coming undone.

Yours in His Service,

~Bella

 

[d taylor]

I think me mentioning the conversation between Satan and God in the book of Job was maybe what started the conversation about Free Will versus predestination. I was comparing that to some of the dating experiences that I've had that have seemed like some kind of testing and very supernatural events around me that seemed to statistically uncommon and uncoincidental.

I understand what you're talking about with predestination and that is what I'm usually used to seeing the conversation between Free Will and predestination focus on rather than the relationships that we get into.

God is all knowing so, i is hard to escape the fact that God knows our lives. But that will not negate God knowing the outcome, that He directs or predestines every part of our lives. Just like Adam had a literal choice to partake or not. Israel when offered the kingdom by Jesus, had to accept the offer or reject the offer.

In the Old Testament there are verses speaking of the first coming and the second coming, all most like they are one event. Not hinting that there would be 2000+ years between the two advents.

That is because if Israel would have a accepted Jesus and the kingdom. The Messiah would have been crucified by the Romans and after His Resurrection on the 3rd day Jesus would have set up the kingdom. But He was rejected so the kingdom is postponed for some 2000+ years.

 

[Kenny'sID]

I see no evidence in the bible that much Of anything is predestined. Of course Christ was predestined, but aside from special plans God has, it's pretty much on us who we marry or whatever. Free will is very important to God.

Someone mentioned predestined salvation, and I agree with them, run fast from any such theology as it is not the truth.