Fill-In-The-Blank Game!

[Sam91]

@Sam91 asked if she could have the medallion instead. She could wear it with her conscience one.

@CtC handed it over but one could see he was storing these offenses up in his heart...

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

What shall I do, Sam91?' asked the good doctor.

'Shall I cut off that medallion from around your neck, as it has caused poor CtC such offense?'

He apologised to @CtC again, just to be sure he was up-to-date with the number of offenses he had a habit of causing.

 

[Sam91]

It was of no use. @CtC seemed to find even an apology an offense. He walked slowly below deck after staring menacingly at the crew.

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

Doctor Sphinx simply donned his dark-tinted sunglasses of protection against aesthetic enchantment, which also doubled as the welding-visor of shielding against Moderator-generated electrical tricks, and he couldn't see @CtC's menacing stares.

He also lent spare pairs to @Sam91 and Captain @DavidFirth.

 

[DavidFirth]

'Thanks, Doc. We've got our cool rays on now!'

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

The house-boat had been quiet for days, with little more than the sound of the waves lapping against the hull of the ship.

The ancient and now-quickly-ageing Doctor Sphinx, the good but indefatigable Captain @DavidFirth, and the kind-hearted, sharp-witted ex-taxidermist @Sam91, exchanged welding-visor-shielded glances.

'Tis time?' asked Sam91.

The good Captain nodded.

The dark-tinted sunglasses of protection against aesthetic enchantment gave the Doctor Sphinx such a degree of protection, that he couldn't be sure if DavidFirth's head had just nodded, or the sun had simply moved behind a cloud.

'Uhhh. I didn't quite catch that,' said he.

'Yes, Doctor Sphinx, 'tis time,' repeated DavidFirth, this time verbally, for the benefit of Doctor Sphinx and any other of the crew who may have been visually impaired.

@LaSorcia, upraised pinky at the ready, was also present. She had spent the past week moderating, which admittedly, had taken its toll on her pinky, as it busily flicked back into the ocean unrepentent sea trolls, to prevent them invading and becoming a permanent scourge upon the decks of the Sea Forth II.

'Irregardless of whether 'tis time or not,' she began - which was quite out of character for her, given that few words indeed draw the ire of grammarians as swiftly as 'irregardless' - 'I think you've been more than fair.'

Sam91 nodded her optimally-sized head sadly. 'His heart has had long enough to percolate by now. The offenses stored up therein will by now...'

'Be offensive enough to make even my now-monstrous-and-much-reviled-ego-of-epic-proportions think twice about taking him on,' finished Doctor Sphinx proudly.

Sam91 nodded again. 'How did you know that was exactly what I was going to say?'

'I think your undecisive flip-flopping about whether your personal preference is for balaclava-clad, or balaclava-less, has resulted in you forgetting you're not wearing the yarmulke of protection-against-mental-eavesdroppers,' Doctor Sphinx informed her, as he winked and passed her the aforementioned yarmulke.

Sam91 quickly donned it, the yarmulke of protection-against-mental-eavesdroppers now sitting quite fashionably atop her well-proportioned head.

'We're just going to errr... pay @CtC a little visit,' called out DavidFirth to LaSorcia.

'Would you like to come too?' asked Sam91, but despite their dark-tinted sunglasses of protection against aesthetic enchantment, the others could sea LaSorcia's pinky was quite busy with the flicking away of yet another sea troll.

'Farewell, fair LaSorcia, and, dare I say, online friend?' called out Doctor Sphinx, trying to sound poetic.

Sam91, wondering the Doctor was still suffering some hangover effects of the faux-barditis, surrupticiously injected him with a small vial of vitamin C she had been carrying.

'Ouch!' exclaimed the Doctor, clutching his arm. 'What was that?'

'It could've been a mosquito,' answered the Captain helpfully. 'We do get some big ones out here at sea.'

LaSorcia waved the tenacious trio on their way, as they descended into the bowels of the ship, to locate and neutralise, the percolating and somewhat offensive CtC.

 

[LaSorcia]

'Irregardless

 

[DavidFirth]

 

[LaSorcia]

whether your personal preference is for balaclava-clad

My personal preference is for baklava-clad.

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

stated LaSorcia matter-of-factly, as she took time between exorcising sea trolls for a quick snack. Had the others been present, it is likely they, too, would have preferred the baklava-clad container from which she was supping, although, LaSorcia knew, a few minutes more and this container would be baklava-less.

 

[Sam91]

Sphinxy, the Captain and Sam91 went below deck. @CtC was not in his room, they traipsed deeper down the bowels of the ship to @CtC's den.

Sam91 pushed the door it was stucked, jammed tight.

"Oh no! Not the dreaded door slam! The woes of the dreaded INFJ door slam!"

The others looked at her quizzically...

"Look...
https://infjandexperience.wordpress.com/2017/01/15/the-infj-door-slam-explained/


The others starting to understand gasped. He'd been left for days to stew behind this door. What would meet them inside? The intrepid trio...

 

[Sam91]

@Sam91 shoulder charged at the door 'OUCH' she cried as it remained fixed in place.

The heroic captain @DavidFirth said "leave it to me". He picked up the good doc and used him as a battering ram. 'That stone head comes in handy for something' he winked as the door opened and the Sphinx's eyes rolled in circles, multiple @ebony-like imaginary birds flying around his poor-but-rock-solid-noggin.

The crew inhaled sharply and regretted it immediately. The air was as foul as the incensed @CtC's mood!

"What do you expect after being stuck down here for four days without anyone caring enough to notice my absence?!'' Seethed the savage-scarecrow-lookalike-beast.

A @Sam91 opened her mouth to speak but it was no good. There was more vehemence to come. "I mean, if it was one of you lot there would have been an immediate search but no, thou hast treateth me just like thou doth the dancing @Dirk1540 Aammmmmvvvmmmmvv spleurgh'

Sam91 tried not to chuckle as the still-mightily-stewed-and-perculated @CtC spat out the rather crusty sock out his mouth that the Sphinx had expertly-and-deftly inserted moments before.

It emerged that @CtC hadn't been quite alone when @Lost4words pounced from the top bunk and quickly sank his teeth around the good doc's ankle!

"Grrrrrrr rrrrrrrr rrrrrrrrghh'

 

[Sam91]

Meanwhile sat in a bar in England, waiting patiently for the time that the licensing laws allow the serviture of his favourite beverage-the English pint- was @Spikey. He sat staring at his phone wondering why he could rarely convince others over the internet to join him in this pursuit. He decided it was due to the tried and tested, but little known, pastime of fence-sitting the British working-class indulge in.

Spikey smiled, remembering all the friendships built in this time honoured tradition. Memories flooded back of fence-sitting times of old; eating apples stolen out his mother's kitchen with his childhood best friend, waiting for busses in the rain, his first kiss with Lucy the Sprucey...

'Oh, I have won crusades, battled the fiercest of enemies, there is simply nothing that I could not do!' Said a rather annoying-and-booming-voice interrupting his reverie.

@spikey looked up. 'Who was this buffoon?' he thought to himself. Little did he know it was the good @Doctor.Sphinx's abandoned-and-much-reviled-but-loved-by-the-Scots-monstrous-ego-of-epic-proportions. The ego, seeing a new person who might be willing to hear his stories of might and valour, approached Spikey and introduced himself.

'Good day, I am the magnificent Sphinx of Egypt, wonder of the world-ancient and modern- honoured by many pharoahs...'

'And too big for your own boots!' Said Spikey, scowling. If there is one thing the english hate it is too much arrogance.

'You sir, I challenge to a duel!' Spikey added.

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

@Doctor.Sphinx's abandoned-and-much-reviled-but-loved-by-the-Scots-monstrous-ego-of-epic-proportions, or AAMRBLBTSMEOEP for short, responded indignantly 'You sir, are to civilised men, as the poop-deck is to all sea-farers of distinguished bearing!'

Several brave Scotsmen, who were drinking ales with the AAMRBLBTSMEOEP, rushed to the defence of it's honour, to 'put a sock' or other garment of similar utility into the wayward Englishman's offending orifice, ironically, at the same instant @CtC was ingesting one of Doctor Sphinx's spent socks more than a thousand miles away.

'No, no, fearless Scotsmen, or dare I say, friends...' commented the AAMRBLBTSMEOEP, potentially plagurising words from Doctor Sphinx, which the good doctor in turn had plagurised from elsewhere, 'this odious knave of an Englishman has insulted my honour, and 'tis my honour which must therefore teach this depraved fellow how to interact with his betters'.

With these bold words, the AAMRBLBTSMEOEP removed his quadruple-X-large rated, leather gauntlet from his left hand, throwing it onto the ground in front of @Spikey.

Spikey raised an eyebrow. Perhaps he had bitten off more than he could chew, metaphorically speaking, but then again...

Meanwhile, back on the houseboat CF Sea Forth II, sailing somewhere on the Seven Seas (or possibly the eighth), Doctor Sphinx was having a difficult and painful time with his ankle. Despite flicking his leg in every direction, @Lost4words had sunk its teeth in deep, and wasn't going to let go. Doctor Sphinx was seriously considering consulting the new doctor for help, when a voice which would send chills down the spine of an icecream invertebrate whispered 'Down boy'.

Immediately, Lost4words detached from the Doctor, who in turn gave the puppy's hindquarters a kick which sent it skittering across the room.

'Welcome to my cabin, said the spider to the fly,' the creepy voice whispered.

Doctor Sphinx looked at Sam91, then nudged Captain @DavidFirth. 'I think he means you,' he said in a low voice.

The Captain hardly responded. It appeared to the doctor that his lungs were struggling to process the air which had been putrified with CtC's brooding. @Sam91 was likewise uncharacteristically quiet.

'Uhhh. Good evening - again - CtC,' Doctor Sphinx began. 'I do apologise for the use of that disease-encrusted sock as a weapon, and do honestly hope that it didn't cause any permanent damage to your voice capabilities, but would still appreciate it somewhat if you would at least speak in a normal voice.'

Whispering, maniacal laughter ensued.

'Look CtC,' the doctor went on, trying to ignore the wheezing, whispering laugh, 'We know all about door slamming. It's alright, really it is. Sam91 has a yarmulke just for that. A bit of lobotomising here, a bit of something else there, and you'll be in the best of spirits, as happy as a he-goat, descending from Mount Gilead.'

Both Sam91 and DavidFirth, still wearing their welding-visors of shielding, looked at each other, then at Doctor Sphinx. DavidFirth wondered how the Doctor couldn't see he wasn't helping. Sam91 wondered if it had really been vitamin C in her syringe earlier on their journey.

CtC spoke again...

 

[Sam91]

Back in the bar @Spikey felt much like a David faced with a rather big Goliath. Heart thumping in his chest, and feeling surreal Spikey prayed on the way outside into the almost empty car park. He knelt by a wall to pray again. As he rose he picked up two red bricks.

He winced at the chilly, autumnal air as he took off his t-shirt to use as a slingshot.

He emulated David and whirled the bricks in his shirt. Time seemed to slow while the bricks flew through the air. The first struck the AAMRBLBTSMEOEP right on the nose, the second went through his own car windscreen. Both shattered and @Spikey 's eyes alighted on the CCTV camera. His car alarm rang out, but alas, the keys had been left on the bar. He had no other option but to... RUUUN!

Spikey didn't need to look behind him to know the AAMRBLBTSMEOEP was gaining ground, the thomping of the ego's feet were enough to deduce the fact he only had...

********

Spikey was bemused!

'Where am I?' He muttered dumbfounded. He was inside a bag style tent of sorts, with a dresser and a hospital bed. Such a surreal place, which felt like being in a permanent earthquake. He was not alone either. There was a wizened and crochety looking man, fast asleep. He crept closer to look at the medallion on his chest.

Conscience of the highest order. B.S., Ph.D

Gently turning it over he saw the infamous good doc's face....

 

[DavidFirth]

Back in the bar @Spikey felt much like a David faced with a rather big Goliath. Heart thumping in his chest, and feeling surreal Spikey prayed on the way outside into the almost empty car park. He knelt by a wall to pray again. As he rose he picked up two red bricks.

He winced at the chilly, autumnal air as he took off his t-shirt to use as a slingshot.

He emulated David and whirled the bricks in his shirt...

The captain hung his head and said, 'I ain't that good a human bein'. I believe you should give the credit to that Bible dude, King David. Shucks...'

 

[Sam91]

@Sam91 looked at the captain diagnostically but unfortunately didn't have anyother symptoms to go on other than one strange outburst.

'You ok Captain? Is the air in here getting to you? ' Seeing a way to make good her escape she took his arm and lead him back to the deck.

@Doctor.Sphinx however had also nosied at @CtC 's computer screen and seen the unfortunate incident in the English pub car park. So had @CtC

Realising his opportunity the silver tongued sphinx congratulated the-overworked-juggler-of-too-many-projects-and-now-rather-crazed @CtC

'Ingenious! Remarkable! So talented. How on this flat earth did you find him?'

'Ha!! Remarkable you say? Well you see once I shut myself in here I couldn't stop thinking of your total lack of concern for the havoc that you create.

I then remembered your big ego problem and how rather than dealing with it you left your baggage in the hands of the innocent.

I contacted him within hours through satellite link up and he is on his way... shouldn't be long actually. That was footage from four days ago. He should be arriving here round about.......' (Pregnant pause while looking at his watch... (smart watch (which seemed to have a realtime, visual display of the view from the ego's arm))) casually.

'....NOW! Hahahahahaha Ha' Ctc cackled.

 

[sunshineforJesus]

I want to be included too.

 

[Sam91]

Said a kind voice to @LaSorcia.

'Well, we do need extra hands on this shift pattern, people seem to be put off by certain people's escapades.' Said the wise sea-trolling-mod.

'Yeah, they are rather tiresome. It takes a lot of fortitude and patience. Are you sure that you wouldn't be better sticking to your usual shift?' @*LILAC agreed.

'No, I'm sure!' Said @sunshineforJesus determinedly.

@LaSorcia smiled 'well yr shift change is effective immediately. If you have any problems whatever you do don't come complaining to me.'

@sunshineforJesus was relieved until she looked over the railings to see the huge-and-much-reviled-ego approaching rapidly on some kind of giant speedboat She gasped in horror.

The Captain and @Sam91 reached the deck. 'You ok Sunshine?' The captain asked. @Sam91's eyes followed Sunshine's. She nudged the captain and pointed...

 

[DavidFirth]

I want to be included too.

Are you sure about that?