Fill-In-The-Blank Game!

[Doctor.Sphinx]

'Of course not, Sam91. That's why I specifically entrusted to you the consumption of the correspondence containing the anti-toxic agent, by the CF crew, once you had read it. The only ones who will die are those yokels who did not eat thereof.' The Doctor winked at Sam91 kindly.

 

[Sam91]

'But I burned it!' Sam91 felt lightheaded but excited about finally getting to meet her Creator. She enthusiastically told the others to get oil for their lamps and get ready to praise with all thier hearts.

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

The Doctor rolled his eyes, and chided Sam91. 'You see what happens when you don't listen to me?'

'If you think this is bad,' Sam91 retorted, 'You should see what happens when I do listen to you.'

'C'mon Doctor, time is running out', called out LaSorcia. 'Do you have more anti-toxic agent or not?'

'The Doctor produced some pills. Pretty much enough for everyone, except Mr H.

'I'm sorry Mr H,' the doctor apologised, 'but it looks like we're fresh out of anti-toxic pills. If I were you, I'd start running for those Rocky Mountains over there in the distance.' The doctor gestured in the general direction of the mountains, as everyone downed their anti-toxic pills. Sam91 was about to offer hers to Mr H, but Doctor Sphinx accidentally bumped her hand, causing her to swallow her pill before it could be offered.

Mr H...

 

[Sam91]

Looked oddly calm. Sam91 was impressed and decided he must have great faith. Maybe, just maybe, she had misjudged him.

The Sphinx, eavesdropping as always, narrowed his eyes.

Loud rumbling signalled planes overhead. The nimblest members dived under furniture. Leaving @DavidFirth, @Doctor.Sphinx, Mr H and the Sphink in the middle of the room. Dr S nodded to the noble captain and they each took hold of one of Mr H's arms. Mr H snarled

'You think it is just so simple as that...

Alexa, activate the Sphink'

The Sphink's metallic hands transformed into blades and advanced towards the Sphinx.

Underneath the table, Christine 40 pulled the pin out of a grenade. Sam 91 screamed 'You'll kill us all!' alerting the guys to the situation. Christine 40 buried her head in her knees. The grenade flashed.

Stunned, Sam91 could neither see nor hear. When the ringing in her ears subsided, and her vision returned she saw the Sphink lying on the floor inert. The Captain and the Sphinx were on their hands and knees crawling like two drunkards.

Sam91 rubbed her eyes in disbelief. Christine 40 had subdued mr H and had him hogtied and gagged. Her booted, right foot on his back. She looked pristine, as if this was a natural occurance. Sam91 decided the this is what a true superheroine actually looked like.

'What... how... why... really?'

Fumbled the flummoxed Samantha, looking at Christine 40 as if seeing her for the very first time. @LaSorcia was looking very calm and collected. She squinted at the noble Captain. He, too, looked in his element. 'What world is this?' She pondered, puzzled, wondering if she was the only one who didn't know what was going on.

@christine40 took a deep breath and began.

' Oh that was a flashbang and a mini EMP! Very effective, don't you think?

A while ago we recieved intelligence from agent PS that there was a Russian agent headed for US soil. Now, not everyone in the government are secretly friends with the Russians so I was deployed to keep an eye on him.

Once on US soil I updated my chain of command and returned swiftly to keep an eye on the Russian spy...'

Sam91 looked again at @LaSorcia, her hedgetrimmers placed serenely in her lap.

'So, what was the deal with the hedgetrimmers?'

Sam91 was left disappointed to find that laSorcia hadn't gained a love for sharp implements and it was a strategy to seem a little scatty so that Mr H wasn't suspicious. They also doubled up as a handy weapon if needed; hence the upgrade from safety scissors once the danger bacame more imminent.

@LaSorcia looked at the Sphinx 'I take it that you were successful?'

The Sphinx shook his head and inhaled slowly. While Sam91 waited for the speech, she quickly recounted the countries visited since she joined the crew. She wondered what had really happened in each 'Egypt, Tibet, the Philippines, the Bermuda triangle, Scotland, Australia, North Korea, erm Nigeria? Narnia, now the US'

The Sphinx was finally ready to speak...

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

'You remember that ophiophagus hannah experiment you conducted back in September?'

Sam91 nodded.

'Well, it seems that the snakeskin we found about the same time as Hillary Rodham Clinton's disappearance really did belong to Hillary Rodham Clinton,' summarised the Doctor.

'And?' asked Sam91, a little frustratedly. It seemed the Doctor had a habit of explaining only the first in a long string of events, and expecting everyone else to scientifically analyse the sequence in between, so as to connect the distant past to the present.

'Well, naturally, Hillary Rodham Clinton was quite incensed that someone - probably Samantha91 - would cause her to endure the indignity of losing her skin for the sake of creating a fasionable purse or pair of slippers, and ever since, Hillary has been scheming to be the first ophiophagus hannah elected as president of the united states of America. Then and only then, she would start to wreak terrible fiery vengeance upon all her detractors, most notably Samantha91 - and due to the unfortunate similarity between the two of you - yourself', explained Doctor Sphinx.

Sam91 rolled her eyes. 'I don't think being the first ophiophagus hannah to be elected as president is something worth celebrating. And are you sure it would even be a first?'

Doctor Sphinx nodded. 'I agree. These Americans will vote for anything or anyone with a shiny mane, a glistening pelt, or failing that, someone who can squirt venom from her fangs, so long as she is waving the right-coloured flag... Or at least, that's what Hillary was banking on. However...'

'The antics of the current incumbent are keeping the hoi polloi sufficiently amused so as to deter them for electing another, possibly even more venomous creature?' asked LaSorcia sagely.

The Doctor nodded again. 'Exactly! Which is why Hillary had intended to invoke the Democrats' secret unholy alliance with the Russians to conduct a military operation...'

'Wait!' interrupted Sam91. 'I thought the secret unholy alliance with the Russians was between the Russians and the current incumbent?'

'Well done, Sam91', praised the Doctor encouragingly. 'That is the first layer of the unholy alliances, but unfortunately, there are quite a number of layers of unholy alliances, each extending ever-deeper into the onion which is the US government.'

'That's what gives them their smell when they're rancid', explained Christine40 knowledgably.

'Anyhoo, another layer of unholy alliance existed deeper within the onion, and that was the layer Hillary latched onto, in an attempt to conduct a military operation against the very people she was hoping to elect her...'

'Can dead people vote in America, then, Doctor Sphinx?' interrupted Spikey.

'Well, in theory no, but in practice yes. What I meant to say, was that such an attack, although it was against America, was to be used as a reason for the surviving Americans to vote for the ophiophagus hannah...'

'But wouldn't most voters in Severance be Republicans?' insisted Spikey.

'Only whilst they're alive,' answered the Doctor. 'One strange phenomena in America is that although voters die in similar proportions from all political parties, most of the dead voters seem to have a preference for the Democratic Party - no one seems able to explain it, although leading Democrats say it's due to their favourable policies for the dead. Anyhoo - I digress - our poor, stupid, intolerable, stooge here - Mr H - fell right into Hillary's clutches, and agreed to destroy his own hometown for a sizeable sum - the proverbial 30 pieces of silver...'

'Lies! All lies! You can't prove anything!' squealed Mr H, still hogtied and gagged, and under the firm boot of Christine40. Christine40 tightened the gag and increased the downward force of the boot, but the traitor continued to squeal, and Doctor Sphinx couldn't help wondering if the situation were somehow ironic.

'So those planes we can hear?' asked Sam91, eyes widening.

'Yes,' nodded Doctor Sphinx. 'Dropping deadly chemical gas as we speak.'

'But then you've failed Doctor! We've all failed! People are still going to die, even if we've caught one of the culprits.'

'Ah,' agreed the Doctor cheerfully. 'Yes, war is a terrible thing, and people likely will die from all the deadly chemical gas being dropped. But because we found out about this little attack in time...'

'But you didn't!' exclaimed Sam91. 'The chemicals are dropping...'

'But we've taken the anti-dote, Sam91. Remember those pills I gave you? And we've actually been asked to let the attack go ahead, so people can see just how evil Hillary and her supporters really are.'

'But...'

'Oh, don't worry, Sam91,' explained the Doctor cheerfully. 'Our spin-doctors in Washington are already writing up scripts and a story to go with the attack. Obviously, it won't be the truth, as it's easier to trick someone twice than to convince him he was fooled once. But suffice it to say, Hillary is going to look like the criminal she is, and the very event devised to depose the current president will be used to further deepen the imprint of his iron boot!'

Sam91 wasn't at all sure she was liking what she was hearing, and at the mention of the current President's "iron boot", even the heroinic Christine40 relaxed her foot on Mr H somewhat.

The moral dilemma...

 

[Sam91]

Was just too much. Nope, Samantha would hear no more of it. She wanted to leave.

'Whatever happened to submitting to the authorities? Whatever happened to praying for your enemies? Whatever happened to the hippocratic oath? Do no harm Doctor! You just let a village die!'

Sam91 put on her yarmulke of toxicological assistance, picked up her handbag and ran to the nearest house to start the humanitarian effort, praying as she ran.

At the first house she found a family of four. The youngest members seemed unaffected as yet, the older two looked wrinkled and gaunt. She opened her bag and took out a protective and restorative draft, extra concentrated. She diluted it and made the family drink.

She ran from house to house, throughout the night. She didn't see any immediate harm among the young. Just grey hair, wrinkles on the old with intoxification of alcohol seeming to be the biggest evil in the town.

When she finally finished her rounds she sat down exhausted. She wondered if indeed the Sphinx had told the truth. She hadn't found any evidence of chemical warfare. She collected a water sample from a puddle to be tested, if only she could get hold of a gas spectrum chromatographer to analyse the sample without the Sphinx knowing.

Out of her bag she drew her yarmulke-of-protection-against-mental-eavesdroppers.

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

As Sam91 rushed out of the room, the Doctor noticed he had an unpleasant feeling once again in his chest-to-stomach region. At first, he suspected heart attack, but on self-diagnosing and realising he was the finest specimin of a Sphinx he had ever come across, was reluctantly forced to concur with the secondary diagnosis for the symptoms - guilt. Sam91 was probably right - once again.

Even though Hillary had plotted to destroy this two-bit town of yokels in order to denigrate the mighty and otherwise indefatigable Mr Trump; and even though Mr H had aided-and-abetted Hillary by disabling-for-planned-maintenance the town's surface-to-air missile systems and anti-aircraft batteries for the evening in order that the Democrat-sponsored Russian-plans might drop their deadly payload of toxic chemicals - manufactured from the juices of Australian cane-toads; the Doctor conceded that he and the CF team would likely be somewhat complicit in the plot, if they merely stood back and watched the townsfolk succomb to toxic effects, in order to demonstrate to the remaining Americans how wicked those of the ophiophagus hannah family - and their hangers-on - can really be.

The Doctor followed Sam91 at a distance - not close enough so they she would see, and know that he knew that she was in the right, once again - but close enough to be able to help any people that she missed. Christine40 heroinically accompanied the doctor, alongside the other lead characters of the CF crew. The group had collectively accepted that leaving Mr H behind unaccompanied - although still hogtied and gagged - would increase the likelihood of his escape, but that saving lives was more important than having someone to blame if some should perish. The other crew members gave puzzled frowns and exchanged confused glances at the Doctor's strange antics of opening every cattle gate they passed on their journey, and shouting madly to the captive cattle therein 'Run wild and free, my brave bovines, and save thyselves from a fate worse than death!' but with so many lives to save, everyone was too busy to question the Doctor's motives.

The CF crew was briefly challenged by a small group of local youths - out and about way past their bed-times - who had apparently won in recent days, some sort of legal right to participate in snow-ball fights. The youths were quick to pack snow, and had deadly aim - first Christine40 fell, then David Firth, and LaSorcia, and even *Lilac to the deadly snowball bombardment. Indeed, it was looking as if the CF crew would be ignominiously defeated, potentially leaving the rest of Severance to suffer the ill effects of the cane-toad venom, when from out of the darkness rode the Doctor atop one of his recently liberated bulls. The snowball throwing youths scattered in terror before the mad, flank-spanking doctor atop the recently-liberated-and-determined-to-remain-so Ferdinand. On observing the rout of the Severance youth-group, the Doctor gave Ferdinand a final, fond slap, and acrobatically dismounted next to his snow-covered comrades. Ferdinand continued on after the youths, in hopes of taking vengeance upon some of the townsfolk for the suffering of his people, before continuing his freedom journey to the mountains.

The efforts of the CF crew were largely successful, even by Sam91's standards. The Doctor and others in the CF crew had finally caught up to Sam91, and the Doctor reported that the only two casualties encountered were 'a Mr Han Sterface and a 'Mr Gerty Tomcat' that he had worked with before, and 'no great loss to civilisation'.

Sam91 stared at the Doctor, and noted that he seemed almost bitter about the two, and was he sure that it was a Mr, not Mrs, Gertrude Tomcat, and that he seemed somewhat gloaty at their unfortunate demise, and was he sure that these were actually casualties rather than simply high-ranking members in the Democrat party he didn't seem to like, and if the latter, had they done anything to offend him, and if so, was he just being unforgiving.

The Doctor...

 

[Phil.Stein]

probably for the first time in his life, was somewhat mistaken. Tragically - even possibly - ironically mistaken. The aforementioned, senior-ranking Democratic Party leaders - Hans and Gerty - wearing uniforms displaying the customary swastikas for ease of comparison to history's other tyrannical regimes, goose-stepped up, hand-cuffed the doctor, and proceeded to escort him away. The other CF members seemed frozen, unsure what to say.

Finally, LaSorcia burst out "Hey, isn't there some sort of due process you freedom-hating goons are supposed to use prior to arresting a suspect?"

Gerty preened her moustache, and Sam91 finally realised the doctor's honest confusion in believing her to be a mister, rather than a missus, Tomcat.

"Quite so, LaSorcia," Gerty replied haughtily. "That is, until we can start updating the constitution to trim down on this unnecessary bureacracy. This Sphinx is wanted on... errr... terrorism charges."

"That's right," commented Hans dutifully. "He scared poor Donald Trump by comparing him to errr... some sort of reptile. Hannis Operabilibus, or similar."

Phil Stein, as yet unannounced, stood in the shadows, watching the scene unfold from a distance, and raised his eyebrows in surprise. The Doctor seemed uncharacteristically reserved, as if he knew that whatever he said, the goose-stepping villains would find some justification for imprisoning him. He looked at the others. He could see LaSorcia - stern faced and determined. Sam91 appeared to be wiping something from her eye - a tear, he wondered, or perhaps just a careless mosquito... Christine40 was checking her bank account balance on her phone, undoubtedly due to the money she was making for her guest-star appearance in the thread. DavidFirth was eating something...

 

[Sam91]

Nutricious and vegan.