Fill-In-The-Blank Game!

[Doctor.Sphinx]

'Nope, you'd have to kidnap me. But after seeing my inventions, I am sure you'd be safer to admit defeat.'

With that @Sam91 incomprehensibly disappeared.

Into the Doctor's sack. He knew he had just plumbed a new depth, and hoped one day the ex-taxidermist would find it in her heart to forgive him.

'Kidnapping' he thought to himself sadly. 'People had died for less.'

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

'Are you alright in there, Sam91?' he called out nervously, and gently patted the sack. He wondered to himself if she'd managed to find the sharp implements she'd previously believed someone had stolen.

'Perhaps...' he thought to himself cunningly 'this is a little escapade that I can blame on Captain Firth'.

 

[Sam91]

'Humph' she grumped. 'The good Doctor adeptly out-smarted me'.

She felt the rivalry of old awakening in her chest. Torn between battling her own rather rather-intimidating-and-strong ego or battling her way out.

To forgive the good-but-fast-on-his-twinkly-toes-friendly-nemesis was the last thing in her mind. He'd have to pay for this...

'Vengeance is mine says the Lord' she heard in her mind in the rather helpful sphinxlike voice...

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

The ex-taxidermist realised the voice in her mind was actually a physical voice, and it belonged to Doctor Sphinx. She also noted he sounded kind of nervous.

'Okay Sam91. I'm going to let you out now... But just don't forget how I rescued you from... the errrr... kidnapper, David Firth!' it said, before the Doctor released her.

 

[Sam91]

"Ok I give up!!!! You win! I won't forsake my crewmates. JUST LET ME OUT OF HERE... or put me in my own handbag..."

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

'Deal!' said the Doctor quickly, and shook the ex-taxidermists left hand. 'Now you can't go back on your word', he pointed out.

 

[Sam91]

'Doctor.Sphinx thank you for rescuing me from the despicable actions of our hitherto-brave-and-heroic captain however, I think you were wrong.

I do not think he was being a scoundrel. I think he was trying to save me from myself.

You see, my wallpaper is an idol. I can not spread the gospel in hiding. I can not love my neighbour if I don't meet people.

@DavidFirth I thank you for your wise and noble heart. Thank you for not fearing my reaction. I thank you that you acted!"

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

'Doctor.Sphinx thank you for rescuing me from the despicable actions of our hitherto-brave-and-heroic captain however, I think you were wrong.

I do not think he was being a scoundrel. I think he was trying to save me from myself.

You see, my wallpaper is an idol. I can not spread the gospel in hiding. I can not love my neighbour if I don't meet people.

@DavidFirth I thank you for your wise and noble heart. Thank you for not fearing my reaction. I thank you that you acted!"

Doctor Sphinx, suddenly overcome with an unpleasant desire to take back that which he had underhandedly given to the Captain, tried to explain to Sam91 'Uhhh... Actually Sam91. I was the kidnapper. It was all me. Captain DavidFirth actually tried to stop me, but I told him it was for the best...'

 

[Sam91]

'Thou should'st repent! You not only coveted what wasn't yours, you lied too.' Said the shocked @Sam91. 'I also think it wasn't very loving either. I forgive you brother, I am saddened to see you stoop so low.' Tears ran down her face.

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

This certainly had not been the reaction that the double-crossing Doctor had expected. 'Why Sam91?' he asked rhetorically. 'Why must I always get it so wrong?'

Captain DavidFirth nodded, self-righteously. 'You are a bit of a villain, Doctor', he explained. 'I don't think you'll be able to help us build any churches. Or... if you do, you won't be allowed to talk' he finished sternly.

The Doctor looked at the ground sadly, after offering Sam91 some tissues to wipe her tears.

Meanwhile, the bagpipers continued to play most excellently.

 

[Sam91]

She felt a twinge of remorse but squashed it like an odious insect. He deserved it...but maybe there was hope.

'Dr Sphinx,I have been thinking sometime that you should leave your ego here, in Scotland. He fits right in. Let's sail away instead. The church is already busy with planting new churches. My home church has two plants already.

Come, let us forget this dispute. I am sure of better things for you. The Lord died for you, He rose and He has made His home with you.' She patted him reassuringly on the arm.

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

'Perhaps you can take his passport away?' asked Doctor Sphinx hopefully.

'Wherever I go, my ego seems to follow. He is somewhat similar to my conscience...' At the mention of his conscience, the doctor looked floorwards guiltily, 'but has an opposite kind of effect on me. And he's also not so pleasant to look at, or be around...'

 

[Sam91]

'Hey why don't we send your conscience for a holiday? I could be it instead.' Said the-getting-far-too-vain-and-far-too-self-assured-and-proud-but-nobody-saw-fit-to-hold-her-accountable @Sam91.

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

The Doctor, not quite as wise as Sam91, was quite enthusiastic about the idea.

'I'm sure they don't call you Sam91 for nothing!' he said excitedly.

'You're on!' The doctor snatched the gold medallion labelled "Doctor Sphinx's Conscience" from his nearby conscience's chest, and handed it to Sam91.

'You're far better than that decreipt old conscience, Sam91, and you can quote from the ESV too. My old conscience didn't even have an ESV', he said.

'Here you!' he said, giving his former conscience a one-way economy ticket to Egypt, with an airline as renowned for its cheap flights as it was for its missing flights, 'Have a holiday!' and gave it a good boot to its behind, to speed it on its way.

 

[Sam91]

Sam91 was very happy indeed!!! @GreenWizard who had watched the exchange between the two deluded members rolled on the floor laughing.

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

Doctor Sphinx, feeling somewhat humiliated at being laughed at by the little leprechaun, sought his new and improved conscience's advice...

 

[Sam91]

'I think you are being vain. He might jot have been laughing at us. There was an amusing exchange between the captain @DavidFirth and @Lost4words too'

 

[Doctor.Sphinx]

'Vanity?' asked Doctor Sphinx worriedly. He'd seen the problems that particular sin could cause. 'No, not at all...' he started, but then also remembered about lying...

'Ah, that is to say, I think vanity may have started to sprout up, but I removed that weed before it could spread', he answered his particularly helpful and useful new conscience.

'And yes, DavidFirth and Lost4words are quite amusing. I particularly like DavidFirth's new hairstyle. It makes him look... more Piratish...' the Doctor said.

'Like LaSorcia?' asked Sam91 curiously.

'I think LaSorcia is one-of-a-kind', explained Doctor Sphinx. 'But as close to as a Captain is able'.

 

[Sam91]

As they walked on to the ship sam91 looked crestfallen.

The good doc needed no explanation. There before them stood the notorious-and-unforgettable @Samantha91. Her eyes lingered on Sam91's yarmulke, and rested on her medallion.

'Just as I thought... bedecking yourself with trinkets already? I see your turning back to your old ways, vanities and props.'

Turning Sam91's prized medal slowly and snatching the volume out of her hands.

'Oh look at this 'How to be a Good Conscience For Dummies!' Now, let me guess who that dummy is....'

The good doctor not appreciating the bullying nature of @Samantha91 edged closer to show solidarity to his dear friend.

Samantha91 snorted derisively... 'Oh and there he is, don't think Sam91 will shield you...'

Captain @DavidFirth, @LaSorcia, @*LILAC, @GreenWizard, @Lost4words and the genial @CtC boarded.

@Samantha91 smiled winningly at the rest of the crew. They rushed to embrace her.

'What a lovely, clean deck! Thank you and welcome aboard!' Said the gracious captain.

Sam91 groaned inwardly, Samantha91 possessed such glibness and charisma. People rarely saw through her; unless of course she deemed them unworthy of any use and of no danger to her reputation. Sam91 suspected narcissism and expected to be ostracised, accused by her friends of being petty, jealoud and bitter before long. Sam91 always seemed to look like the bad guy when Samantha91 was near. It didn't seem to matter how long people had known her, they nearly always sided with her nemesis.

'Oh, I love your emerald encrusted dress @LaSorcia, it suits you perfectly! ' Samantha91 gushed kissing laSorcia's cheeks.

'We have missed you! I trust that your absence was useful?' Replied @LaSorcia

'Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.' Said Sam91 from the KJV unconvincingly.

'@Sam91 please try to be nice to visitors aboard this ship!' Remonstrated David.

@Sam91 fled like a misunderstood child below deck to the ladies bedroom, Samantha91's fake look of concern and mock gasp of shock seared into her mind.

 

[DavidFirth]

'Doc, the poop deck is in the rear of the ship, it isn't disgusting, it's just an aft room.' said the cap'n.

The captain looked up forlornly and said, 'Why oh why I gots a bunch of landlubbers on me vessel? Blimey! I must be cursed.'