Female Accountability Thread

[Kristen.NewCreation]

Hi Ladies,

Let's try to check in on a regular basis to support each other. You've been brave to post here, information that is vulnerable and open. Everyone has their specific issue, but we're still a group who needs each other. If you're online, let us know how you're doing. If we can pray for you in a specific way, note that. What success have you had today or this week. What struggle have you had today or this week? Let's use this actively so no one is alone.

Kristen

@BeautyfromaThistle
@NoraCharlesFan
@OutOfPlace_Christian
@gerbilgirl
@MayMcFlurry
@blessedbethyname101
@Aryas
@ChildoftheOneTrueKing13
@kdm1984
@Soccerbeth
@Airotciv7
@Caron1

 

[Joy]

I am not doing to well this week and feel overwhelmed by wanting the wrong kind of comfort.ashamed of what I have become

 

[Soccerbeth]

I am not doing too well this week either. For the last 3 nights, I have looked at lesbian inappropriate content and masturbated numerous times. I don't even know when I made the decision to do it. I just sat down at the computer and before I knew it, it was happening. I wish I had more self-control to stop.

 

[Faselina]

I have never really posted on this forum before, but I guess I just feel like I really need help. I have wandered into sexual sin as a believer, and it's tearing me apart inside.
I am single, but I've been basically having cybersex with a married man online, and I hate myself for it. I keep doing it however, and I feel incredibly weak right now, which is why I decided to post on this forum.
I have never had struggles with homosexuality really, for me it's mostly been struggling with wanting to have sex before marriage, and lust. I've struggled with lust really my whole life, which I know isn't considered usual for a girl, but it's true for me.
If anyone would be willing to be my accountability partner, I would appreciate it very much. The first thing I need to do is "break up" with this guy, and stop talking to him. This has been hard for me, because I know it will hurt him and I feel like I've already sinned anyway, so I might as well accept the fact that I'm destined for Hell.
The second thing is just if anyone has any advice for me on how to deal with lust, I would also appreciate that tremendously.
Thank you, to whomever reads this post, if anyone even notices it to begin with.

 

[kdm1984]

I have never really posted on this forum before, but I guess I just feel like I really need help. I have wandered into sexual sin as a believer, and it's tearing me apart inside.
I am single, but I've been basically having cybersex with a married man online, and I hate myself for it. I keep doing it however, and I feel incredibly weak right now, which is why I decided to post on this forum.
I have never had struggles with homosexuality really, for me it's mostly been struggling with wanting to have sex before marriage, and lust. I've struggled with lust really my whole life, which I know isn't considered usual for a girl, but it's true for me.
If anyone would be willing to be my accountability partner, I would appreciate it very much. The first thing I need to do is "break up" with this guy, and stop talking to him. This has been hard for me, because I know it will hurt him and I feel like I've already sinned anyway, so I might as well accept the fact that I'm destined for Hell.
The second thing is just if anyone has any advice for me on how to deal with lust, I would also appreciate that tremendously.
Thank you, to whomever reads this post, if anyone even notices it to begin with.

Definitely pray and ask God for help. Discontinue all contact with the married man; no good can come of that whatsoever for either of you.

Lust is a problem that can affect both men and women. This is often forgotten in both church and secular culture, where men are portrayed as "visual" and sex-obsessed, and women supposedly only liking sex for emotional reasons (if they acknowledge women can like it at all), but this is simply not always the case; just because more men struggle with it, statistically, does not mean there aren't many of us women who struggle with it as well (this is even in the Bible -- Genesis 39, Potiphar's wife). I've been outspoken about this issue for women precisely because of those misunderstandings, and because of the depths of my struggles.

For me, I've always been excited easily by merely the appearance of a good-looking man -- body and all. I have had to learn to avert my eyes and redirect my thoughts when I sense lust may be creeping in from looking. And, always, return to prayer. It's been a long road; I viewed a lot of inappropriate contentography as a teenager, especially softcore pictures of naked men -- not because a guy got me into it, and not because I was abused (the two most common assumptions people have when women admit to inappropriate contentography struggle), but because of the thrill I got seeing the male body. And I find I can still fall into that trap if not careful and prayerful, even though I am now happily married and love my husband in every way possible (including physically). Even in marriage, our eyes can still wander; we have to stay in prayer, and to turn from any temptations that may beckon.

 

[Airotciv7]

I have never really posted on this forum before, but I guess I just feel like I really need help. I have wandered into sexual sin as a believer, and it's tearing me apart inside.
I am single, but I've been basically having cybersex with a married man online, and I hate myself for it. I keep doing it however, and I feel incredibly weak right now, which is why I decided to post on this forum.
I have never had struggles with homosexuality really, for me it's mostly been struggling with wanting to have sex before marriage, and lust. I've struggled with lust really my whole life, which I know isn't considered usual for a girl, but it's true for me.
If anyone would be willing to be my accountability partner, I would appreciate it very much. The first thing I need to do is "break up" with this guy, and stop talking to him. This has been hard for me, because I know it will hurt him and I feel like I've already sinned anyway, so I might as well accept the fact that I'm destined for Hell.
The second thing is just if anyone has any advice for me on how to deal with lust, I would also appreciate that tremendously.
Thank you, to whomever reads this post, if anyone even notices it to begin with.

Hi Faselina,

I will be your accountability partner cuz I need one too! Find a way to message me on here and I will share with you.

 

[MayMcFlurry]

@Airotciv7 @Faselina Do you guys want a third accountability partner? I don't know how it works but would love to help. Don't need it on my end, just thought to offer.

 

[Airotciv7]

I'm for it. Honestly I imagine an accountability partner to be someone who supports you in staying on track with your spiritual struggles through the leading of the Holy Spirit.

 

[Faselina]

You have no idea how much I appreciate you guys helping me like this. It truly does mean everything, and it makes me feel a lot more motivated to better myself, which helps a lot. It was very hard for me to write what I did, because I was terrified of what you all would think of me. I knew though that I would need to do something a bit more drastic if I was going to make a lasting change in my life, so I decided to go ahead regardless.
I would love to have as many accountability partners as possible, and thank you all so much for volunteering!
I just have one quick question if you don't mind. What have all of you done about sexual feelings and desires before marriage? When you finally did get married, did you think it was alright to want sex with your husband, or did you think even that was wrong? (I don't mean to be offensive in any way, I am simply curious and looking for advice).
Thank you again!
Faselina

 

[Airotciv7]

<staff edit> As far as dealing with sexual desire my battle right now is masturbation. All I could say is the times where I feel the urge I try and focus on Christ. That doesn't always work. I pray...but really there's no specific answer to overcome it. One occasion I began to worship the Lord and there was a breakthrough. I think a lot of it involves our will and sometime we have to walk a way literally and God knows that I don't always do that. Another member on here said crave Christ. That works if you seek Jesus fully then that is the answer! maybe the very reason we fall is because we start think we need to live by the law or do certain things to earn favor with God and because our heart is in the wrong place outside of resting in Christ we sin. Anyways thank you Jesus that we have a place like this to be open because sexual sin is a very painful topic.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

You are free to send a private message to another member when you have 15 posts and 5 likes. Until then, please feel free to be accountable here. That is what this is designed for. Check in with each other daily or every other day or however often you agree on. You might even have others who have posted here join in to help with you. Ladies, there is a private area for women here in recovery - called for Women who Struggle. You can start a thread in there. You do have to have the female tag. You can ask God's Child for it if you don't have it yet.

 

[MrsSnowQueen1]

I am 24 years old married to a wonderful man of God and expecting our first child this summer, 2017. God has been so good to me his grace is so amazing that i feel like i dont even deserve it half the time. I have struggled with a sexual addiction for half my life on and off. And now that i am starting a family i want to change more than ever. I want to stop. I need to. Lately the past few months has been out of control. Today was like going back to my vomit several times. The urges were so bad i would pray then sin ask for forgiveness then sin again. The frequency has been getting more intense it went from a few times out of the year to a few times out of each season to a few times out of the month now to several times a month to several times a week and today was the worst. I messed up with inappropriate content/masturbation 3 or 4 times today. That is more than any other day in my life that i can remember and i need help!! the embarrasing thing is is that i have no lust for any man. I love my husband to death! My struggle is I look at the women in these images and get stimulated by them. I have always been insecure with my own image but I have never been a lesbian or a bisexual a day in my life. I want to change. <staff edit> I cant afford to lose what God has given me. Please help me. Please pray for me before its too late. I am looking for atleast one faithful comitted honest and mature prayer partner and accountability partner that i can open my heart to. Because everyone in my world seems like they dont understand. I need someone who has overcome has gone what im going through and beli3ves in the power of the blood of Jesus and the holy spirit. Please.. btw my name is Natalie

 

[MrsSnowQueen1]

Praying for you.. i thought marriage would fix my problem and it has helped me be accountable as far as being %100 honest with my husband about my persisting struggles. But marriage is not the cure to the addiction. Because sad to say i am still sitting in my own filth. But there is still hope for you and me. I pray you overcome it and get to the root issue of your struggles because let me just tell you that you cant keep secrets from your husband and live a conscience free life. And everytime you confess if your man aint strong enough to take it, it could make him or break him. Just make sure yall are both living right and pure before God before you say "I do" because believe me it is hard to tell your loved one that you havnt been faithful with your eyes or your body. I pray you have a man with a big heart. I was blessed with a man with a big heart yet he still forgives me. But dont push the envelope.

Hello,
My name is Aryas and I have touching yourself problem for 10 years now and I want to quit this habit for good. It started after first when I was 16 and it continued until now and I can't do it anymore I'm getting married soon and I have a lot of responsebeleties and this habit makes me tired and I can't fully focus on the tasks I need to do. I realize that I have an issues that need to be addressed as soon as possible and here I'm looking for accountability partners because honestly I think a lot of people has this problem but not anyone can admit to it and I'm ashamed to share this problem with members of my family or my friends so I thought I can look for the support I need online where I feel more safe.

 

[MrsSnowQueen1]

Good evening yall! Im here to check in for today. Stayed pure! It was such a good and refreshing day! I stayed busy i talked over the phone with a good friend of myne then i went out to eat with my family with no morning sickness or nausea at all thank you Jesus

 

[Snarky1]

I've read everyone elses posts and I'm so glad that I'm not alone, not that I want anyone else to struggle with any of these issues. I have been addicted to masturbation since I was very young, probably around 6 or 7 and as the years have gone by it has developed into more and more risky behaviors, inappropriate contentography, online sex, and casual sex with men I barely know or don't know at all whom I've met online. I'm 43 yrs old and a single mom of four kids... the shame eats at me. I am an adult survivor of childhood abuse and I know that somewhere along the way my ideas about sex became twisted but try as I might, no matter how many times I tell myself I'm not going to act out sexually, I always screw up. I feel like my mind is constenly in the gutter, and I can't ignore the sexual feelings, they just build up until I give in. I have just recently started talking about some of this to my therapist who I've been seeing for about five years now. He can't tell me if I'm a sex addict, he says that's something I have to determine for myself. I have a friend who tells me that I'm single and my behavior is normal... I'm not sure, I keep second guessing myself. Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

I've read everyone elses posts and I'm so glad that I'm not alone, not that I want anyone else to struggle with any of these issues. I have been addicted to masturbation since I was very young, probably around 6 or 7 and as the years have gone by it has developed into more and more risky behaviors, inappropriate contentography, online sex, and casual sex with men I barely know or don't know at all whom I've met online. I'm 43 yrs old and a single mom of four kids... the shame eats at me. I am an adult survivor of childhood abuse and I know that somewhere along the way my ideas about sex became twisted but try as I might, no matter how many times I tell myself I'm not going to act out sexually, I always screw up. I feel like my mind is constenly in the gutter, and I can't ignore the sexual feelings, they just build up until I give in. I have just recently started talking about some of this to my therapist who I've been seeing for about five years now. He can't tell me if I'm a sex addict, he says that's something I have to determine for myself. I have a friend who tells me that I'm single and my behavior is normal... I'm not sure, I keep second guessing myself. Am I making a big deal out of nothing?

I know for me, there is a normal urge for sexual intimacy. But there then presents the issue of shame when caving in to act on those urges in a way that I might choose that I don't believe is healthy for me or even not good enough for me as God calls me to not act out on the urges. We all sin daily. I can't tell you how many times I've told God, "This is the last time -I feel so bad - I'm so ashamed." Then in a half a day or a week later I fall again. He knows I'm human. But it helps to have a bit of the pressure of having to say to someone else verbally (or in a written manner), today, I did not act on my impulses, but rather I did xyz. It also allows me to receive the affirmation of my choice, and reduces the shame I've been wearing forever because I was choosing a solution to a problem I was not okay with spiritually or mentally.

God calls each of us to where He wants us to be with Him, and in my life I've seen time and time again, when I finally give in to Him and release my control over an area of my life, He gives me the strength to cope and to then ask me if I'm ready for the next area to work on. Here's my question... (more of a thought)... How tired is God that I keep having more next areas to work on? lol I know seriously that it pleases Him when I give Him a new area, yet it's tough when I know I am so full of myself and have so much to turn over to His cleansing and His love. I want to radiate Him. I want others to see Him, and I want the peace that I am free in Him.

I say at that because some people think one behavior is okay, while another feels it isn't. This isn't about others - this is about what God is saying to me. God is my savior and my redeemer. I hope that I can encourage you in choosing purity as much as you can encourage me as well. This is why we are here.

 

[Shea.Lima]

I'm a Christian female who is very active at church. I'm a college student who received a full ride at college for my sport and am very busy with school, which I enjoy the challenge. Once I moved here I started attending church and soon became a Sunday school teacher and counselor for the children's program. I love the work and my life here. However, lately I've been tempted strongly by a couple at church. I was assigned to them to help them with mentorship. I am out of my element and comfort zone. Please pray for me that I receive guidance and I will do the same for all of you.

 

[kdm1984]

You have no idea how much I appreciate you guys helping me like this. It truly does mean everything, and it makes me feel a lot more motivated to better myself, which helps a lot. It was very hard for me to write what I did, because I was terrified of what you all would think of me. I knew though that I would need to do something a bit more drastic if I was going to make a lasting change in my life, so I decided to go ahead regardless.
I would love to have as many accountability partners as possible, and thank you all so much for volunteering!
I just have one quick question if you don't mind. What have all of you done about sexual feelings and desires before marriage? When you finally did get married, did you think it was alright to want sex with your husband, or did you think even that was wrong? (I don't mean to be offensive in any way, I am simply curious and looking for advice).
Thank you again!
Faselina

I regret to say that I gave into mine before marriage. When I got married, I thought it was fine to have sex with my husband because the Bible makes it clear that the marriage bed is undefiled.

 

[regadoo]

HELP. Middleschool I was addicted to inappropriate contentography and reading that type of stuff. It was only God who got me out of it, praise be His name! I told my best friend, the first person I'd told, last year in the summer. I also found out at the same time that she is in the midst of reading inappropriate contentography, and she stopped masturbating a couple months before she told me. We set up an accountability partner with each other, and I've promised her I will try with everything I possibly can to get her out of it, but only with God will it be possible. At first I did pretty bad job of it, but I eventually snapped out of it and we made a little progress, but I've been trying to help her now for almost a year, and she's given up, and I'm beating myself up because I've failed her. We've made almost no progress, and I don't know what else to do to get her help, as she refuses to receive help from church leaders/etc., doesn't trust her mom (for good reason), and I just feel like I've given up too. I'm stuck. She's stuck. God help us.

 

[Freegirl555]

I started masturbating when I was around 12-13. Came across a inappropriate content tape in my home ... and well it took on from there. My brother caught me watching it ... and hence his struggle began too. Not proud of that. I grew to hate it yet desire it over the years. It has been an on and off tortious relationship. I committed my life to Christ when I was 25. I'm a virgin and committed to be so until marriage but I still struggle, violently at times. I feel like a walking hypocrite.

God has helped me get off of the vids over time. However in a really hard phase of my life in 2008 I picked up a new habit ... phone sex. I'd answer and or post ads on craigslist as I was feeling unnattractive and useless .... the first time it was such a high. I've been battling since. Almost a decade later God has helped me stop that as he's shown me that I'm hurting myself and others ... thankful that my conscience was pricked. So now I struggle with audio inappropriate content. I think I convinced myself that there's no one real on the line and I'm not looking at anything ... God is convicting me of that too.

Recently, God has brought a wonderful and powerful man of God in my life. I know he's the one, but I don't want this curse in my marriage or over me any longer. I am in ministry and God uses my in powerful ways but I know that I'm limiting God and He won't put up with this behavior. He is too and I don't want to negatively impact his calling or ministry.

I need help. I need someone, an accountability partner, who I can text or talk to at any time and vice versa. I'm 40 and single. Please reply here if you will stand alongside me in active faith so that we can war together and overcome.

God bless.