Female Accountability Thread

[Kristen.NewCreation]

If you are a female who is dealing with sexual addiction, masturbation, inappropriate contentography, lesbian lifestyle changes, etc., and re needing accountability in getting through this, please make a post to share how you would like accountability, and then post here daily or as often as needed. This is where we ladies can provide encouragement and accountability to each other. Gentlemen, you may want to help, but we'd ask that you spend your time in prayer for those of us in this thread.

 

[BeautyfromaThistle]

I am so pleased to have found this website and this thread.

I have been married for 31 years and I believe in the sanctity of marriage. My husband and I were both pretty rotten at the start and the first 18 years were pure <staff edit>--but, through the ministrations of our current pastor, the Holy Spirit changed both our hearts and we both treat each other with great honor now.

I love him; however, only as a friend. It was that way from the start, but I lied to myself. I know well that love is an action, not merely a feeling. In all those rotten years, I never cheated physically (though once it was surely direct divine intervention on the spot that prevented it). But I have gotten serially smitten with many guys over the years--and in fact am very smitten with one now. It has happened all but one time with good Christian men, so it's not as though there was any dirty talk or lasciviousness involved--but there always ended up being a real sexual attraction.

Usually in the past these emotional affairs led to exposure (whether through confession or not) and humiliation, both for me and my poor husband. Until this last time. I was on a website, and I met this man (also married, and avowedly very happily so). I admired him deeply. He said publicly that he admired me, too. We both exhibited very godly activity on the website, both to each other and the other members. There were never any extraneous private messages or improper cross-communication.

Nevertheless, I was so hung up on him that I couldn't leave the website for three years. I prayed for conviction in my spirit for what I knew was a sin (coveting at least). Finally in October I got the grace to leave. I miss the guy horribly.

I realize that this has been a huge spiritual breakthrough for me: this is the first time I have ever walked away from an illicit emotional attachment of my own free will without having first been caught.

The pain is getting easier to bear little by little.

Here's the current problem: I wish this serial temptation to crave other men would go away once and for all.

I work hard to combat it.

I pray.

When thoughts pop into my mind of other men, I pray for my husband instead. I remind myself not to give bad thoughts any quarter of any kind--just brush them away as though they were gnats. (That's more effective than beating yourself up and it accomplishes the purpose faster).

I have wondered if perhaps bad thoughts about men are my lifelong "thorn in the side," and I'll just have to keep enlisting the Lord's help in triumphing over it.

I can handle that. I've got a lot of good weapons to fight the battle.

But there's a place where my faith is very weak. No matter how good my husband is to me or how good I am to him or how nice we are to each other during sex, or even how fervently I pray, I have a very sad feeling that I will never love him in a deep, emotional way--and that vacant hole will keep on being my achilles heel.

I have come to terms with that fact that, just as not everybody gets to sing in the Metropolitan Opera, so not everybody gets to have a soulmate in this life. In heaven we won't care! Our attention will be on Jesus!

For me, a soulmate has been an idol--so no wonder God hasn't seen fit to give one to me.

But I still struggle with emptiness and loneliness and lack of gratitude for the good man I have. I am always very cooperative with him, but I dread, dread, dread when it's time for sex.

Please pray for me. If you have a struggle, i will pray for you.

 

[NoraCharlesFan]

Hello. I just joined this forum. And I am struggling so much with sexual sin and self pleasure. I'm 35 years old and single. And I try so hard to stop the urges and I can stop for a while but then I fall. I always fall. I am filled with so much shame. I'm so scared that I will lose God's love. I don't want to displease Him. I don't want to keep failing. I feel so alone. I have prayed and begged for these urges to stop. For these thoughts to stop invading my brain. I feel so weak.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

Glad you are here. You won't lose God's love for falling from what you are experiencing in your life with the sexual issues. He understands we fall and fail. It's important to keep reminding yourself that we do fall - but we get up again and move forward. That doesn't mean it gives us the go ahead to give in, but sometimes we do fall into old habits.

We are sexual creatures. God created us this way. Regarding the shame, it is something that lets us know that we are going against something that we believe in or that is against laws, etc. It's like a warning sign. Try not to let it consume you.

Have you heard of Celebrate Recovery? If not, see if there is a support group in your area. Many of them deal with sexual issues and they are a Christian based support group.

Just FYI, I have seen women and men who have been abused as children repeatedly, who have either no sex drive, or have an overstimulated sex drive. God understands where each of us comes from, and nudges us forward in his healing and in his path.

 

[OutOfPlace_Christian]

I need prayer. I am so ashamed and tired

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

Praying for you. Please try to let God help to remove the shame... we all fall down sometimes, and then we get right back up. God loves you right where you are - and knows your heart and desire for things to be different. Bless you.

 

[gerbilwoman]

I'm not really comfortable to say what I'm going through right now but I do believe it would fit here. Could I please request prayer?

 

[MayMcFlurry]

I love him; however, only as a friend. It was that way from the start, but I lied to myself. I know well that love is an action, not merely a feeling. In all those rotten years, I never cheated physically (though once it was surely direct divine intervention on the spot that prevented it). But I have gotten serially smitten with many guys over the years--and in fact am very smitten with one now. It has happened all but one time with good Christian men, so it's not as though there was any dirty talk or lasciviousness involved--but there always ended up being a real sexual attraction.

Hi, if you had any advice for a girl who likes a guy enough to be in a relationship but perhaps not enough to be full out attracted or in love, would you suggest waiting for someone who does ignite that spark or going for the relationship and working at it over a long period of time? Did you ever gradually fall in love with your husband?

Thanks

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

I don't know the answer to your question, but I do know that many struggle with similar struggles. God provides what you need and when to find the right man for your life. Is your attraction of the heart, or sexual? I'd prefer to wait to find the one I'm in love with, but that is my opinion.

 

[blessedbethyname101]

I still have sexual thoughts and am trying to ask for forgiveness. I know I am human but these thoughts are annoying to me. I am not young and wonder what is the point of having these thoughts. I feel guilt at times because of these thoughts. As a result, I am trying to read the Bible to soothe me and to pray to God for guidance. It is hard to not have sin in my mind and heart. This is the reason we all need God in our lives.

 

[Aryas]

Hello,
My name is Aryas and I have touching yourself problem for 10 years now and I want to quit this habit for good. It started after first when I was 16 and it continued until now and I can't do it anymore I'm getting married soon and I have a lot of responsebeleties and this habit makes me tired and I can't fully focus on the tasks I need to do. I realize that I have an issues that need to be addressed as soon as possible and here I'm looking for accountability partners because honestly I think a lot of people has this problem but not anyone can admit to it and I'm ashamed to share this problem with members of my family or my friends so I thought I can look for the support I need online where I feel more safe.

 

[ChildoftheOneTrueKing13]

Hello,
I just found this forum and I'm so thankful that I did. I'm married to a wonderful man that I truly do love and care for, but I am struggling with an attraction to women. In the past, and long before I was married, I have given into temptation and have had a relationship with a woman and have only ever truly been attracted to women. Since I have been saved, I have been struggling with these attractions and have been praying that they go away so that I can lead a more righteous life and glorify God. However, it's been a struggle for me and I hope that I can continue to be a good wife and one day be attracted to my husband.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

Hello,
I just found this forum and I'm so thankful that I did. I'm married to a wonderful man that I truly do love and care for, but I am struggling with an attraction to women. In the past, and long before I was married, I have given into temptation and have had a relationship with a woman and have only ever truly been attracted to women. Since I have been saved, I have been struggling with these attractions and have been praying that they go away so that I can lead a more righteous life and glorify God. However, it's been a struggle for me and I hope that I can continue to be a good wife and one day be attracted to my husband.

I'm glad you posted and are here for accountability.

Attraction physically is only one portion. Attraction of the heart is another. Do you have any attraction at all outside of physical attraction and love?

 

[kdm1984]

I love my guy, and I'm attracted to him, but I'm still struggling being physically attracted to other men as well. Need accountability in this realm. Thanks.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

Glad you are here kdm. Know that you are not alone.

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

Please join in prayer - Lord God, with these women, I lift them up to you for your intervention in their lives, for their decisions to make changes or to stay faithful in their lives. You know each one's desire for healing, for faithfulness and for love. Bless them and let them feel your love surrounding them with a great and mighty way.

 

[Soccerbeth]

I need accountability. Long story short, I was sexually abused by a teacher as a little girl. I believe this has led me to a twisted view of sexuality and same-sex attraction. I have found myself continously pursuing relationships with other girls, and recently found myself in an all-weekend sinful binge. At this point, I think I may be sexually addicted, because my greatest pursuit in life outside of work is the pursuit of an [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]. I know I need to see a counselor, but I feel like I could also use a lot of accountability.

 

[Airotciv7]

I'm struggling on/off with masturbation. When the feeling kicks in it completely consumes me. God has helped me in the past and he continues to however I'm tired of the guilt and disgust I feel after giving in. I'm tired of that battle and I need other women as accountability partners to help me through this .
I have been struggling with this sin even prior to me being saved. Christ has led me a way from watching inappropriate content and using Sex toys. It seems though the inappropriate contentographic images are burned into my memory and Satan/ or my flesh are quick to play them in my mind. Lucid wet dreams are another trick that Satan uses on me after extended lengths of time where I haven't given in. Anyways I'm confessing this to my fellow believers because I'm over this sin and there is strength in numbers. Jesus died once and for all so we can be free from the bondage of sexual immorality. I'm here to walk it out sent out by the Holy Spirit!

 

[Kristen.NewCreation]

I wrote out a verse for myself this morning for another issue... but it applies here I think. It's the last half of the verse.

But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

I've learned that if I crave God more than I crave my bad habits and sins, then I do better. It is so hard though to choose him over something that makes me feel good even though it's bad for me.

Hang in there. post every day if need be.

 

[Joy]

I am a Christian and have a physical disability, I need accountability and interaction with other ladies. I struggle with masturbation and looking at wrong websites when I am lonely. Pride has kept me from posting here but just recently the desire to self pleasure started again and I realise I need some support.