Fell apart

[DeerGlow]

I (New edit: made a lot of messes of things) and my dad is mad at me. I keep having these horrible thoughts telling God to go away and I'm afraid He is rejecting me. I don't know if I have saving faith and I'm afraid I'm going to go a little crazy on the plane. I'm afraid of the unpardonable sin blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, or not having true faith, or guilty of apostasy because of straying from the faith last year. And impulsive thoughts about soul-selling and the mark of the beast. I'm so upset right now I just am at my ends. Please pray for God to soften my heart and to save me and forgive me and to reassure me that He loves me. I am afraid I didn't call in the right season and now it's too late. There are scriptures about seek the Lord while He may be found.... I can't remember well enough to be more specific but I'm scared. I miss my childhood, when I was sure of salvation and I had true friends (plural) and I was happy and people were more careful to show love and not anger to a little kid. Also I never know when to stop. I had one friend (still my friend? Maybe?) who I would tease until he got too bothered and snapped at me. He'd play along until I crossed a line and I (New edit: sometimes can't tell a line until I've crossed it). I fear crossing a line with God too, a point of no return. Please pray for my salvation.

Edit: Also I don't think I'll be able to take my bible.

 

[JesusLovesOurLady]

In the name of, the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,
Amen.

Grant me, O Lord my God,
a mind to know You,
a heart to seek You,
wisdom to find You,
conduct pleasing to You,
faithful perseverance in waiting for You,
and a hope of finally embracing You.

In the name of, the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,
Amen.

 

[DeerGlow]

In the name of, the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,
Amen.

Grant me, O Lord my God,
a mind to know You,
a heart to seek You,
wisdom to find You,
conduct pleasing to You,
faithful perseverance in waiting for You,
and a hope of finally embracing You.

In the name of, the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit,
Amen.

Thank you for that.

 

[brinny]

God doesn't think like us, nor get weary, or irritated. He LOVES you. He knows you inside n' out and He LOVES you. NOTHING we ever ever do shocks Him or takes Him by surprise. There is a battle raging, and it involves that ol' liar, the enemy, just a'lyin' to you, and messin' with you. He's doin' a number on yer heart, mind, and soul. He needs to take a hike into the abyss from whence he came. He's a snivelin' coward, right over there, cowering in that corner, hoping you don't notice how he's desperately tryin' to distract you from your heavenly Father. God is VERY MUCH present. The sniveling coward doesn't want you to know that. God hasn't gone ANYWHERE. He knows the struggles you are enduring. GET your mind on HIM. In the meantime, praying for you dear heart (((hug)))

 

[brinny]

He STILL loves you, DeerGlow, regardless of what that snivelin' ol' coward is tryin' to bombard you with. Peace sister, peace, and calm and the stillness that only He can give. Father intervene and remove all that is not of You and send it to scattering, in the name of Jesus, amen. (((hug)))

 

[Galatea]

Seek the Lord while He may be found refers to this age, that's all. It doesn't mean He'll one day just never listen. It means before the Great Tribulation.

Guess what? You DON'T have enough faith. Even saving faith must be given to you by Christ. We can't even have enough faith to be saved. Don't let that scare you, let it help you relax. It is all Him. Salvation is ALL Christ.

"By grace are ye saved through faith. And that, not of yourselves, it is the gift of God."

You know what "that" is? It is faith!

God loves you.

 

[Saucy]

I don't understand the bit about telling God to go away and then fearing He's rejecting you. He'll never leave you nor forsake you, but He will take a step back if you ask Him to.

Draw CLOSER to Him. Hold onto Him. Fight for Him. Of all things, give up the fear, the struggles, and the thoughts. Those aren't from God, but from the enemy looking to steal your joy.

Praying for you!

 

[DeerGlow]

I don't understand the bit about telling God to go away and then fearing He's rejecting you. He'll never leave you nor forsake you, but He will take a step back if you ask Him to.

Draw CLOSER to Him. Hold onto Him. Fight for Him. Of all things, give up the fear, the struggles, and the thoughts. Those aren't from God, but from the enemy looking to steal your joy.

Praying for you!

I don't want to but these thoughts just fire off. I'm not trying to get Him to go these things just pop out all over my brain.

 

[Saucy]

It can be difficult to control thoughts. When that happens, I immediately say, "no, that's not the truth. I know what the truth is and God loves me, He cares for me, and He will never leave me." When I have a panic attack, it's the same thing. "I'm fine. There's nothing wrong. My life is great and I'm blessed. There's no reason to have a panic attack". I really hope that helps and if you ever need someone to talk or vent to, I'm always around. Unless I get banned for being stupid, but I'm mostly here lol

 

[Galatea]

I don't want to but these thoughts just fire off. I'm not trying to get Him to go these things just pop out all over my brain.

It's okay. He is not going to leave you, even if you abandon Him. Remember the Prodigal Son- the Father never left his son, even though the son left his father. I believe the father watched every day for his boy, and prayed for him all the time.

Please take some good, deep breaths and say "God loves me!"

You know the song, Jesus loves me? You can think it to yourself in your mind when you get an intrusive thought. Thought replacement, replace the bad ones with good ones.

 

[DeerGlow]

It can be difficult to control thoughts. When that happens, I immediately say, "no, that's not the truth. I know what the truth is and God loves me, He cares for me, and He will never leave me." When I have a panic attack, it's the same thing. "I'm fine. There's nothing wrong. My life is great and I'm blessed. There's no reason to have a panic attack". I really hope that helps and if you ever need someone to talk or vent to, I'm always around. Unless I get banned for being stupid, but I'm mostly here lol

In my panic attacks I can hardly think logically. Trying not to hyperventilate is all I can really do. Certain textures help, like this figure Castiel's wings or the steering wheel of my (edit: mom's) car....

 

[DeerGlow]

It's okay. He is not going to leave you, even if you abandon Him. Remember the Prodigal Son- the Father never left his son, even though the son left his father. I believe the father watched every day for his boy, and prayed for him all the time.

Please take some good, deep breaths and say "God loves me!"

You know the song, Jesus loves me? You can think it to yourself in your mind when you get an intrusive thought. Thought replacement, replace the bad ones with good ones.

Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so....

 

[brinny]

Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so....

Amen!!!!! Yes He DOES!!!!!!

 

[Saucy]

It's almost impossible to have a panic attack when you worship God. Turn on some worship music and just relax. Take deep breathes. Remove yourself from the situation.

 

[Hearingheart]

When I was dealing with depression and panic I would say the name of Jesus over and over and take deep breaths to try and relax. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Just shut your eyes and pretend He is holding you in His hands.

Praying for you!

 

[brinny]

DeerGlow.....

Let it shine, sister!!!

 

[brinny]

Praying for your dad, and you too (((hug)))

 

[HereIStand]

As a grown man (which I think I am), I have a good relationship with my Dad. Our relationship was at times strained during my teen years. He could angry with me then. Your relationship with your Dad will likely improve as you grow older.

As for the blasphemous thoughts, try letting them go. I too struggled with the unpardonable sin and had anxiety to the point where I would randomly call pastors out of the church section of phone book. Not answering the thoughts turned out to be the best solution though.

 

[DeerGlow]

Amen!!!!! Yes He DOES!!!!!!

I don't remember the rest

 

[DeerGlow]

When I was dealing with depression and panic I would say the name of Jesus over and over and take deep breaths to try and relax. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Just shut your eyes and pretend He is holding you in His hands.

Praying for you!

I could rate you almost every option