- Feb 5, 2010
- 13
- 0
- 34
- Faith
- Pentecostal
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Democrat
I don't even know where to start. I have no one really. My dad died when I was 12, and my mom only cares about the men in her life. I'm 21...I have a relationship with Jesus, but gosh, I just want my mom to love me!!!!!! To care for me like a mother should!!!! It's sooooooo painful when you feel like you are nothing to your own mother. A few months ago, her boyfriend moved in with my mom and he hates me. He's so mean and he tries to control everything. Because of him, I can't even go to my Mom's house without calling her first. It's ridiculous. I'm at her house now, to use my computer (My house doesn't have internet), and she came in here and told me that I only had 15 minutes left and I had to leave. It's because of her bf. He's so controlling!!! When stuff like this happens, I always end up turning to weed. It takes me out of my depression and misery. For the past couple weeks I've been smoking because I've been so upset about all of this. Then, this past weekend at a Christian conference, I was brought out of that. Right now, I'm really battling with this. I'm crying and I'm upset, and I know If I turn to weed, I will be happier, but I know that it isn't right and I don't want to turn back after such an awesome deliverance this weekend. I have no one I can talk to, no one I can go to about this. That's why I'm posting here. Honestly, sometimes I would just rather die, so I don't have to deal with the pain and depression that this causes me. There is a lot more to this than what I'm telling you, but like I said, i don't have much time to post this. What do you do when you feel this way?