Feeling like I can't be saved

[Caedmon]

I grew up Catholic when I was a teenager I started going to a baptist church. After going for a month or so, I began believing the gospel and I prayed and asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins, to come into my life and save me. For some reason I always felt like I was never really saved, and I found myself praying the sinners prayer often because I was always in doubt. Outwardly to other ppl in my church to them I appeared to be on fire for the Lord and at times I felt like I was then I always got to a point where I was in doubt. Then a few years later I moved back to where I grew up and went back to a lot of my old ways and eventually stopped reading my bible, and feeling conviction. I lived myself without any regard for God. Although I still believed that the bible was the truth!

Now 10 years later, I'm married to an unsaved man and I'm struggling daily with my beliefs and how I live my life. In my heart I want to live my life for God, be a missionary whatever it would be the Lord would have me to for him. Sometimes I'll be living my life right for a few days or weeks then I'll fall back to my old ways, and I just feel like I can't be saved. I feel like I'm losing my mind thinking about!!

I was reading Romans 1 & 2 today and Paul was talking about people who knew the truth, went and lived their lives in sins and he said God darkened their heart and gave them up to a reprobate mind. I don't want to be one of those!!

I know this post is all over the place but please take the time to read my craziness and I pray that someone has some advice and scripture to share with me.

Thanks!!

I grew up Southern Baptist and had the same issue, constantly doubting my salvation, and look where I ended up. Better be careful.

 

[one11]

That's exactly what I think is that I have to be perfect, but I know that it is impossible. You are absolutely right, it's really been on my mind for awhile that I need to be more helpful to others! It's amazing how some of you right things that I've being convicted about!

Hi Mary, I think you hit the nail on the head with the word convicted. We all go through this stage of conviction and perhaps many times. It's normal and it's a growth period.

Just remember what God said... that one plants the seeds, the other waters, but God makes them grow. Trust that.

 

[Mary08]

Hi Mary, Yes it does seem you have a lot going on.

Such as: You show a photo of a child in your avatar. So I assume you are a Mom. You also state you are a wife to an unbeliever. And then you state you want to be a missionary.

I think you might be unhappy first of all with living an inharmonious spiritual life.

It's tough living in an inharmonious spiritual union. Is your husband a dedicated atheist or agnostic? Also, if you have fighting within this inharmonious spiritual union, I couldn't blame you for wanting to run away and be a missionary, but that won't solve or resolve the problems within your marriage and your unsettled spirit in regards to this.

I also might assume you want to be a missionary because you can't save your husband?

I do believe you are saved Mary, but perhaps you need to see some bearing of good works.

Well, you are a good mother I'd assume from the photograph, but perhaps you want more good works or works that will be recognized.

It sounds like your faith needs room to grow, but your marriage environment is stifling that? Is that a possibility? Or is it more such as a drinking problem of yourself? As you haven't stated what YOU have fallen back into?

If so, ease up on being a missionary to your husband right now and put it in God's hands and keep praying for him, and perhaps mission here on this forum for a start.

And sorry if this post is all over the place too, but you have several issues here with some information left out.

But lastly I'll say, you can change your behavior, but you cannot change your husband. Never marry a person thinking you can "change" them.

Thanks for taking the time to reply again to my post. That's my 16 month old son, I try to be the best mother I can be to him. I'm happy in my marriage but as a believer it's hard being unequally yoked, my walk with Christ would be easier if we were on the same page. He actually grew up going to a Holliness church, he got saved and baptisted but stopped going as a teenager. He says he thinks he was too young 2 really understand when he got saved. He believes the gospel but he think it may not be the only way to heaven, if that makes sense. Eventually he wants to get his life right when the time is right for him. Niether of us drink, smoke or do drugs...or anything like that. It's just discouraging being unequally yoked but I was living life for myself with no regards for God around that time when I met him. Regardless though, he's a good husband! At the same time, I am unhappy living in an unharmonious spiritual union, I need to keep praying for him!! I would love to be a missionary someday, maybe my husband will get his life striaght with the Lord by then!!

I was reading not too long ago in Matthew when Jesus was talking about the tree with branches that bear good fruit and the ones that doesn't bear good fuits (no works) I feel like I'm a bad branch. I think I just interpreted the verse wrong, I think I do that a lot when I read verses about works. I definately want to bear good fruit!! I've gone on Youth Mission trips, witnessed in the past, I've done many good works but I feel like I did more to please and impress people and for my own benefits. I remember my Youth Pastor and Pastor commended me in church for how on fire I was and growing in the Lord. Looking back now, I feel like it was all done in vain.

I've put my full trust in Christ now, I've been reading posts in different forums on here about grace and works and it's giving me a lot of reassurance. I've put my full trust in Christ, in my mind, heart and soul. Earlier today I was praying for the Lord to show me how to put my trust in him with all my heart, mind and soul. Then I clicked the song I had just downloaded and it was saying my heart, mind and soul all belongs to you!! I had never heard this song b4, but how amazing is that right after I finished praying I came on my computer and played that song!! That's amazing to me and can only be the Lord!

 

[one11]

Thanks for taking the time to reply again to my post. That's my 16 month old son, I try to be the best mother I can be to him. I'm happy in my marriage but as a believer it's hard being unequally yoked, my walk with Christ would be easier if we were on the same page. He actually grew up going to a Holliness church, he got saved and baptisted but stopped going as a teenager. He says he thinks he was too young 2 really understand when he got saved. He believes the gospel but he think it may not be the only way to heaven, if that makes sense. Eventually he wants to get his life right when the time is right for him. Niether of us drink, smoke or do drugs...or anything like that. It's just discouraging being unequally yoked but I was living life for myself with no regards for God around that time when I met him. Regardless though, he's a good husband! At the same time, I am unhappy living in an unharmonious spiritual union, I need to keep praying for him!! I would love to be a missionary someday, maybe my husband will get his life striaght with the Lord by then!!

I was reading not too long ago in Matthew when Jesus was talking about the tree with branches that bear good fruit and the ones that doesn't bear good fuits (no works) I feel like I'm a bad branch. I think I just interpreted the verse wrong, I think I do that a lot when I read verses about works. I definately want to bear good fruit!! I've gone on Youth Mission trips, witnessed in the past, I've done many good works but I feel like I did more to please and impress people and for my own benefits. I remember my Youth Pastor and Pastor commended me in church for how on fire I was and growing in the Lord. Looking back now, I feel like it was all done in vain.

I've put my full trust in Christ now, I've been reading posts in different forums on here about grace and works and it's giving me a lot of reassurance. I've put my full trust in Christ, in my mind, heart and soul. Earlier today I was praying for the Lord to show me how to put my trust in him with all my heart, mind and soul. Then I clicked the song I had just downloaded and it was saying my heart, mind and soul all belongs to you!! I had never heard this song b4, but how amazing is that right after I finished praying I came on my computer and played that song!! That's amazing to me and can only be the Lord!

This is a really awesome testimony!

I also kind of think I know what your husband is going through in regards to not believing Christ is the only way to Heaven. It could be because he's lost some people in his life who were not proclaimed Christians and it's hard to believe that Jesus' mercy could not extend to us even as we are passing out of our body and dying especially to all those people we know who do more good works than we might be doing. I struggled with that question for years and I still may be like a little child in that regard when people pass away. I want to believe all go to Heaven.

On another subject, I think that being a good Mom IS the most important works in the world. The world may not always see a woman's worth that way in our modern society, but I do think it is!

And I was very glad to hear you have a good husband. It sounds like it, and I was happy to hear that.

You're being what I'd call being called back by The Lord right now and I believe your testimony.

I remember when I was called back by The Lord. I was in such extreme pain and little things started getting me reading The Bible again. I was praying and praying and I think I was praying for myself. Then I woke up from a nap one day and clicked on my answering machine. A Christian church had left a message for me to pray for someone named "Angel" and then the message ended. I wasn't even going to church at that time nor did I belong to that church nor had I ever heard of that church. Then I realized God was calling me to pray for other people and to top it all off a dove landed on my balcony and I had never seen a dove in that area before nor did I ever see that dove again. I have a lot more testimony but I don't have time to share it all.

So what is happening to you is most definitely amazing and very real. And once I started getting back into the word, my ex husband started to follow, much more slowly, but he was still "changing" and we became closer than ever until we finally reconciled our relationship. He and I still may not be equally yoked in regards to the scriptures but I couldn't ask for a better man and yet we are equally yoked in that he carries what I cannot carry and I carry what he cannot carry, so we make a complimentary team even though not scripturally or theologically the same.

God is good.

 

[whoopeedew]

Hi Mary! I am in about the same position as you. My husband says he is a Christian but does nothing about it. He has a drinking problem, and enjoys going to church with me and yet does not want to further his relationship with Jesus. While me on the other hand, have my own bible study, get Veggie Tales for the kids, send my son to the Kidz Club at church on Wednesdays, etc. He is a great husband, very nice and loving and yet I feel so sad when I think if the rapture were to happen he would probably not be taken.
I was also raised Catholic and something was just always missing. Back in March of 2004 I was saved when watching Michael W. Smith sing the song, "Love isn't love 'till you give it away". I started going to an Assemblies of God church, which was to say the least, very different from going to Catholic Church!!! Something...somehow was different. I became passionate for a couple of months, and then it died down and I still kept my new love for Christ, just was a little lazy in studying the bible etc! I went back and forth and then when my dad died unexpectedly in May '08 of a heart attack....everything I had learned from my previous bible studies came out and I truly felt comforted by God. Since then it seems to have all clicked into place. God has a time and place for all of us. As for my husband, all I can do is pray.
Please let me know how it is going with you! I will keep both your husband and you in my prayers!

 

[Chococat]

I can relate a lot to what you say Mary as I have struggled with doubts about my salvation. I suspect you have probably been listening to/reading stuff by certain preachers who imply that if you are a true Christian you will lead an almost perfect life and that if you still struggle with sin you're not truly saved. I know I never used to struggle with doubts till I came across such preachers who seem to confuse salvation with sanctification. Some of the posts here have helped me too as I find myself trying so hard to be the "perfect Christian" and getting disheartened when I fail. So you see you're not on your own.

 

[pixiponk]

only just registered on this forum so I not read all the replies to your post. But I did read your post. I can relate to how you're feeling. Not so long ago I had been dragging a similar feeling around with me. Gods grace has knocked me over everytime I have yelled 'help'. He is there. And he already knows how you feel.
There is lots of love and grace for you and I belive God has a plan for you and is working it through.

 

[Bartimaeus]

Joh 10:27 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.
Joh 10:28 And I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.
Joh 10:29 My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of My Father's hand.
Joh 10:30 I and My Father are one."


I also am convinced there can be a great distance of time between salvation and sanctification...

I was saved for 10 years before I had a personal relationship with our Lord and grew in the Spirit...and a couple times the enemy knocked me down...but Jesus lifted me right back up.

There is nothing we can do of our own merit, nor in our own strength that can earn or maintain salvation...It's all about Him and the grace and mercy offered at the cross. We believe it...we receive it and no one can take it from us.

Rom 8:37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.
Rom 8:38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come,
Rom 8:39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I totally agree! It is a process we go through, santification is, and as much as we'd love it to, it doesn't happen overnight. That's why I keep drilling Romans 12: 2 into my head. That way I never forget it's a gradual thing, and I am always being transformed.

 

[Mary08]

Hi Mary! I am in about the same position as you. My husband says he is a Christian but does nothing about it. He has a drinking problem, and enjoys going to church with me and yet does not want to further his relationship with Jesus. While me on the other hand, have my own bible study, get Veggie Tales for the kids, send my son to the Kidz Club at church on Wednesdays, etc. He is a great husband, very nice and loving and yet I feel so sad when I think if the rapture were to happen he would probably not be taken.
I was also raised Catholic and something was just always missing. Back in March of 2004 I was saved when watching Michael W. Smith sing the song, "Love isn't love 'till you give it away". I started going to an Assemblies of God church, which was to say the least, very different from going to Catholic Church!!! Something...somehow was different. I became passionate for a couple of months, and then it died down and I still kept my new love for Christ, just was a little lazy in studying the bible etc! I went back and forth and then when my dad died unexpectedly in May '08 of a heart attack....everything I had learned from my previous bible studies came out and I truly felt comforted by God. Since then it seems to have all clicked into place. God has a time and place for all of us. As for my husband, all I can do is pray.
Please let me know how it is going with you! I will keep both your husband and you in my prayers!

Thank you for sharing that! I can definately relate to you too, especially when talking about being comforted by God that's how I feel now! I was so confused and daily with it daily now I have peace finally! I'll keep u & ur family in my prayer too

 

[Mary08]

I can relate a lot to what you say Mary as I have struggled with doubts about my salvation. I suspect you have probably been listening to/reading stuff by certain preachers who imply that if you are a true Christian you will lead an almost perfect life and that if you still struggle with sin you're not truly saved. I know I never used to struggle with doubts till I came across such preachers who seem to confuse salvation with sanctification. Some of the posts here have helped me too as I find myself trying so hard to be the "perfect Christian" and getting disheartened when I fail. So you see you're not on your own.

Yeah actually when I've been reading the bible the past few months, I think I was misinterpting verses too, that talk about works and the way we should live. The baptists churches I've went to never really touched on "sanctification" or as least from what I remember. This women I know who used to go to a non-denominational church talked about being used to be sanctified and I never really understood what she meant. I'm starting to understand now.

 

[Cris413]

I totally agree! It is a process we go through, santification is, and as much as we'd love it to, it doesn't happen overnight. That's why I keep drilling Romans 12: 2 into my head. That way I never forget it's a gradual thing, and I am always being transformed.

Rom 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

 

[Mary08]

Rom 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

After I saw the post last night, I read Romans 12, thanks for pointing out that verse. I actually had it memorized when I was a teenager for the bible quiz team I was on. I had forgotten all about it.

 

[Cris413]

After I saw the post last night, I read Romans 12, thanks for pointing out that verse. I actually had it memorized when I was a teenager for the bible quiz team I was on. I had forgotten all about it.

just 'cuz

 

[jeremyloo]

I've put my full trust in Christ now, I've been reading posts in different forums on here about grace and works and it's giving me a lot of reassurance. I've put my full trust in Christ, in my mind, heart and soul. Earlier today I was praying for the Lord to show me how to put my trust in him with all my heart, mind and soul. Then I clicked the song I had just downloaded and it was saying my heart, mind and soul all belongs to you!! I had never heard this song b4, but how amazing is that right after I finished praying I came on my computer and played that song!! That's amazing to me and can only be the Lord!

Hi Mary,

The Lord is always Wonderful. Our God is a Good God.

I used to be in situations in the past thinking I was a "bad" Christian. I did not do the right thing and falling into bad habits, until the Grace message was preached to me. I used to think that I need to do this and that in order to please the Lord...until I told the Lord that "why not save me just before I die?", as it was very "tiring" to be a Christian. I was like Paul described in Roman 7.

Our Lord knows our heart. He knows that I still love and believed in Him, else I would not be feeling that way.

Paul did not end at Roman 7. Roman 8 provides the break through from Roman 7 victoriously.

Rom 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

Receive the Gift of no condemnation and you will reign in life. It is not what I do but what Christ has done on the cross. It's not about me, but about Jesus. We have to into His Grace, His Perfection and His Beauty. The reason He came is not for righteous people but for the unrighteous. So at the cross, He took all our unrighteousness upon Himself and gave us His righteousness so that we can call God our Father.

Knowing that we are righteous, we will want to live a "higher" life and not a "lowly" one. As your standing now is different...you are now a king and a priest, in another word, a royal priesthood.

Charles Spagueon used to say "Right believing will leads to right living". Believe and receive the Gift of No Condemnation and the Gift of Righteousness, you will be living right.

Does that mean that you will not fall? No, but rather pick yourself up again from where you left off.

I like the story in the Bible where the woman was caught with adultery and the people wanted to stone her. What did Jesus said to the woman in the end?

Joh 8:10 Jesus stood up and said to her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"
Joh 8:11 She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."

Jesus give her the gift of no condemnation so that she can have the power to sin no more.

Shalom,

Jeremy Loo

 

[Cris413]

Jeremy!

So good to see you brother....

Wonderful and encouraging post...

 

[jeremyloo]

Jeremy!

So good to see you brother....

Wonderful and encouraging post...

Hi sister,

It's been awhile since my last post....pretty busy lately.

BTW, A Blessed 2009 to you and your family.

Will be in this forum as the Spirit leads.

BTW, I have created a blog (The Righteousness Of God) for a group of Christians with daily devotion which I felt worth reading and be encouraged.

Be bless and Shalom,

Jeremy Loo

 

[Stephen Kendall]

I guess that I should add my two cents worth here for you Mary.

Be known by God. Your sight of yourself as lacking is honesty before him. Your honesty is known by God. Now, have a relationship with him. Ask him in your moment to moment living of the things close to your heart, the questions. Answers will come, all of them in their time, they did for me. I too became a baby Christian at a young age (15 years old). Sin had me in a grave of darkness for many years. I was honest to God and confessed to him and asked forgiveness over and over again to the point that Satan tried to convince me to give up, it seemed useless. I didn't. I had to confess to others to fulfill my faith in Christ & his teachings. All I can say is "yes you can!"

All Christians are persecuted. Your own natural person inside of you with Satan's interference can actually create self inflicted persecution. When you conquer your own inside persecution (flesh / world ties) and strive to stay with Christ, confess (being honest with God and others), you grow. Stay with Christ, obey him. Don't worry of Church doctrines. Instead, just worry of the judge, Jesus Christ and obey him (love God above all and love your neighbor as yourself).

Love you sister

 

[ALIOSIAS]

(Principles of praying for the lost - not necessarily in a systematic order.)
A. Ask God to Soften Their Hearts
Ezekiel 11:19 - "And I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them. And I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh..."
Pray for the condition of their hearts to change.
B. Spirit of Conviction
Ask for the release of the spirit of conviction of sin, righteousness, and judgment to come.
John 16:8 - "And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment..."
C. Spirit of Revelation
Ask for the spirit of wisdom and revelation (dreams, visions, inspiration etc.)
Ephesians 1:17-19 - "...that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might..."
D. Recall To Remembrance.
Ask the Lord to bring to their remembrance any of the good Word of God that they were taught from their childhood to this day
1. John 14:26 - "But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you."
2. Isaiah 55:11 - "So will My word be which goes forth from My mouth; it will not return to Me empty, without accomplishing what I desire, and without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it."
E. Pray Prayers of Forgiveness
Forgive your mother, your father, your son, your daughter. Forgiveness is the master key that unlocks the prison door to a heart of stone. Through forgiveness comes a place of identification. The model prayer of Jesus is not an individual prayer. It is a corporate prayer.
Matthew 6:9-15 - "Pray, then, in this way: 'Our Father who is in Heaven, hallowed be Your name. Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. (For Yours is the Kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.)'"
F. Pray for Laborers to Be Released to Your Loved Ones
Matthew 9:38 - "Therefore beseech the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest."
G. Pray for a Revelation of Eternity
Ask the Lord to give them an awareness of the realities of both Heaven and Hell. Ask the Lord to reveal that none are righteous and that we each need to receive the free gift of eternal life through Christ Jesus!
H. Resist the Enemy
Pray to break the powers of darkness that are generationally hindering your loved ones from the saving power of Jesus' Blood.
I. Solicit Other People's Prayers
Enroll others on your team of intercessors to pray for your family.
Ephesians 6:19-20 - "...and pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the Gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in proclaiming it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak."
2 Corinthians 1:11 - "...you also joining in helping us through your prayers, so that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the favor bestowed upon us through the prayers of many."
J. Revelation of God's Love
Ask for God's love to overwhelm them. (Don't pray for bad things to happen to them.)
1. Romans 2:4 - "Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and (forbearance) and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?"
2. Romans 12:14, 19 - "Bless those who persecute you; bless and curse not...Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord."
Expect Great Things! Let revival begin. Release your faith and believe the Lord for more of His presence to come to your family. Stand as a Prophet, Priest and King of your family before the Lord and your own home and family for the glory of God's great name.

Prayer For Salvation 0f Family Members

Lord, we bring our family members to You right now.
We bless them in Jesus' great name. We call forth that You soften their hearts and release the spirit of conviction upon them.
We pray that You reveal the goodness of God to them and draw them to repentance.
Bring to their remembrance all the good Word of God they have been taught from their childhood even until now.
Release laborers across their path that will move in power and kindness.
Release demonstrations of Your amazing love to them for Your holy name's sake.
We pray our family members into God's eternal family, in Jesus' name! Amen

 

[HolyWarrior77]

DONT GIVE UP HOPE FOR YOUR HUSBAND. We were all born sinners and not saved. Jesus knows exactly what you're going through

Keep your faith and be submissive to your husband. Even if you have to go to church, read your bible and/or go to bible study alone, so be it. In time your husband may gain interest and be saved himself

12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him.

1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.

 

[fleethefire]

Mark 16: 16-18
16Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. 17And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; 18they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well."

Remember that Catholics teach that it is your good works that will cause you to go to heaven. Read Romans chapter 3. We are justified by our faith, not by our works.

Read the book of James.

Also remember that we were not given a spirit of fear. 2 Timothy 1:7 We were given power (authority) through the Holy Spirit to boldly preach the good news.

Since you feel so moved to do God's work, trust in Him. Wait upon the Lord, and seek His will. Pray to Him everyday, and ask for God's discernment.
Then obey what He instructs you to do.

If you are not currently attending a church, find one. Get involved in a Bible study, and find people that you are comfortable with. Form an accountability group, if you can't join one, so that you read your bible and pray everyday.

God's blessings to you.