father issues

[Jack of Spades]

I would love to be an atheist but I realize spirituality and religion are an important part of being human. I don't think being a "none" is the answer.

Being a none doesn't equal atheism though. I am a none technically, but not an atheist. I'm a mystic and I embrace religious/spiritual side of me, I just don't sign into organized religions but instead I practice whatever happens to work for me, regardless of what label it has in it.

I'm sorry to hear this.

Lately my own troubles stem from both the election & battles with doubt.

I love my church, I have friends there, the clergy members are good people...but I feel hopelessly sad that so many people in this country (including in my own family) have this terrifying marriage between their brand of Christianity & right-wing politics. The sadness runs so deep, I'm not sure if I can get over it. (To be fair, there are problems on the left-wing side as well...but not to the point, as far as I've seen, of accepting widespread deception via "fake news," etc.)

Then there is my own doubt, which is ever present but magnified lately. I think I'm just frustrated. I know the Bible requires study, requires thought, that biblical literalism is wrong...but I think I'm out of patience with other Christians who quote verses & use them like arrows to be critical of my beliefs (that took time & thought to get to). It would be easier & perhaps more gratifying to just flip my allegiance to atheism, & become the thorn in their side.

I'm probably not helping but in the past, when going through similar feelings, I personally never got over the feeling that I'm somehow being an enabler, if I keep sticking to Christianity. I ended up witnessing for years pretty messed up fundamentalist stuff and the emotional damage it does to people to the point of some losing their mental health permanently.

Even though I intellectually speaking realized it's not the whole picture at all, I just couldn't shake the feeling of being somehow responsible of supporting it if I stick around. If there is a solution to reconcile such feelings, I never found it.

But that was long time ago, currently I'm no longer even seeking that particular solution because due to a complex story, I ended up landing on another kind of spiritual path and now I have a whole new set of problems to deal with

 

[Zurückschlagen]

From what @FireDragon76

For what I see, you're a confused man.
You first need to set things straight.
See what you really believe in.
What's most important thing for you in life.
And if it's meant for you to have a normal conversation with your father one day, it will happen. If not, just continue on your path. Chin up.

 

[RileyG]

Does anybody else have trouble relating to God as a father?

In the past two years, my relationship to my own dad has just gotten worse. The only time we even remotely get along is over a beer. Otherwise, he just gets on my nerves. I've always had issues with my dad, though, and I can see it now. But lately he's been unbearable. He has a lot of character flaws and they just get worse with age. He is not a churchgoing man, either, and the small circle of friends he has is worrisome (Vietnam vets with PTSD they refuse to treat).

I have a better relationship to the pastor at church that my own father. I can talk to the pastor, but I can't talk to my own dad except the most superficial things.

I have a background as an Orthodox Christian and I always found it easier to pray to Mary. But now that I go to a Lutheran church (and I've begun to break ties with Orthodoxy, realizing I'll probably never find a home there) I feel a certain feeling that I just don't know how to pray anymore- the desire is just gone. It feels like the idea of fatherhood is oppressive, not something I want to relate to. It's even difficult to want to relate to Jesus. But, I don't pray to Mary just because of all the hard feelings I have about my Orthodox experience, the fire or zeal to practice anything "orthodox" is gone, and I worry about being "inauthentic" if I were to do so. But I find Lutheran spirituality leaves me cold (I'm not even sure Lutherans have spirituality, honestly). The sticking point is that I feel accepted at that church and they sort of do some of the same things Orthodox Christians do. But my prayer life is now close to zero.

This actually reminds me of "images of God." I think what you are going through is normal because of your experiences- sorry you are hurting so much

Reminds me what I learned in my theology classes- if someone has a bad relationship with their father- they may have trouble seeing God as "father." I honestly do not know if I can give you advice, but you are in my prayers.

God Bless you.