Fat girls

[CounselorForChrist]

We are to keep our temples healthy as we can. Sure you can go to mcdonalds if you want. But if your eating so poorly that your gaining weight, having heart issues...etc. Then your not taking care of your temple.

not to mention some people would like to able to have sex with the lights on and be proud of how they look, and they can.

Actually a recent study shown most couples find sex more romantic when the lights are off or barley on (dim lights). Lights off isn't about not wanting to see yourself, its just more of a intimate atmosphere.

 

[Life2Christ]

gluttony
and sloth are to be avoided.

Ooops, there goes my Saturday.

 

[MercyandFaith]

If Christians are supposed to let their yes be yes and their no be no, then I don't see why a Christian should not - with tact - reply "yes" when a fat person asks if they are fat.

 

[MercyandFaith]

Also - and this may be a bit off topic - when people say things like, "Inner beauty or personality are more important" - usually fat or unattractive people perceive perfectly well just what that statement is meant to imply ("you're unattractive.")

 

[seeingeyes]

If Christians are supposed to let their yes be yes and their no be no, then I don't see why a Christian should not - with tact - reply "yes" when a fat person asks if they are fat.

Because a Christian should know that the 'fat person' in question is not asking whether the proportion of fat on their body gives them a BMI over a certain number (they could look that up on the internet). They are asking "am I unlovable?" That's the heart of the question, and a Christian should answer the questions of the heart.

 

[asiyreh]

First of all whao! a topic called Fat girls. Nice

Ok this girl seems to have some deep personal issues. She's be in the self harm category I would suspect. Obviously this mightn't be physical self harm but this constant need to ask you am I fat am I fat, isn't her actually asking you anything. It's her telling herself she is fat over and over again.

Women are... different

Ok I'm having a chat with this girl recently.

I tell her. Hey my wife nags me all the time about the kids misbehaving
So I go and discipline the child
And the wife doesn't speak to me for two days.

???

Yeh she says I do that with my husband too.

Really explain that to me logically, why would you do such a thing?

Anyways after about a half and hour I finally realised that the women is this situation doesn't want you to fix the problem only empathise with her.

Has anyone ever seen white men can't jump? The scene with the glass of water?

I too amm thisty lol, I too would like a glass of water. Ahhh funny...

You're trying to almost fix the problem.

You are thinking maybe if I just be honest and tell her she a fattie, she'll go and get thin. Trying to fix the problem, is what you are doing.

What you need to do is find out why she hates herself so much. Do this during the course of several long walks...

 

[miss-a]

ark

the very fact that you needed give a plan of what to say and your coversation included the female asking " are you just trying to make me feel good " and needing a whitty response and you your considering that I feel superior with NO evidence proves the obligation. The criticism and doubt of my morals and priorities In this thread prove the obligation.

Okay, this is as far as I read posts. so forgive me if this has already been said. Most posters are so offended that this guy isn't attracted to fat girls that the point, I think is being missed, and kind of proving his point. Would you have been so offended by his post if his concern was about a girl who wears makeup. What if he didn't like that? Would there be 800 posts trying to back him into a the hater corner?

1. I think Horizon cares about the girl's feelings. Otherwise he would have done something to make her go away long ago.

2. He makes a good point. Emotionally and physically unhealthy people do need to take responsibility for the things they can hellp and change. Many unknowingly try to manipulate us into enabling them. we often get sucked into enabling them to stay stuck in their misery, because are trying to be nice. We need to be kind, bu enabling is not a kindess. It is in fact cruel. I'm not casting stones. I'm stating facts. Pastor Gayle Erwin did an entire teaching on manipulators : Gayle Erwin - Dealing with Manipulators - Part 1 of 4 - YouTube
Gayle Erwin - Dealing with Manipulators - Part 2 of 4 - YouTube
Gayle Erwin - Dealing with Manipulators - Part 3 of 4 - YouTube

This girl knows she's dealing with a fitness dude. There is no way she can be coming from a healthy place emotionally if she's continually bringing up her lack of fitness to him. Does she want him to hurt her? That's not healthy. Does she want him to help her get fit? Not asking directly is unhealthy. Does she think he wants to date her? Then that's the question she should be asking. Anything else is a manipulation, one that she may not be putting forth intentionally at all, one she may not know she's doing. But it's still not healthy. And that is not his fault.

3. My bias: I'm a fitness freak. I like it. I don't see myself with an overweight guy or someone who is prematurely aging themselves with bad food and lack of exercise. I have people in my life who have made these choices. I love them, but I'm bugged at them at the same time, and I'm not dating any of them. I don't think it's fair for a man to expect me to marry him and then watch him fall apart for the rest of our lives together. So crucify me if you must.

4. Horizon, I think the direct appoach is the way to deal with this, if this girl is indeed someone you care about, as it seems you do. The next time she asks, or even if she doesn't, ask her why she keeps asking. Ask her what is really going on. In loving caring way, after you've dealt with your understandable frustration, find out the whole picture. What is she driving at? Point out that she knows you are a workout fan. Is she asking because she wants some tips? What's really up here? Don't get baited into the dysfunctional thing. It won't help you and it won't help her. Find out what's going on. Then you can deal with it--prayerfully. Certainly pray for guidance before talking to her. But if she is going to stay in your life, and there is weirdness going on, it's not going away on it's own. Your are absolutely correct, her behavior is not on you. You are not the bad guy, as far as I can see. To answer the question with a yes or no, isn't, from my pov the issue. The issue is an unspoken issue. All shs seems to have the skill level to do is inquire about her attractiveness. I think it's best to move beyond that and talk about the real issues. And no, it shouldn't be on you, but if she doesn't have the skill and you do, it falls to you, if you want to keep this friend.

5. It's not a sin to want a healthy, attractive mate. And most of the time, it's not even selfish.

Blessings on you all,
a

 

[Inkachu]

Ooops, there goes my Saturday.

 

[Inkachu]

First of all whao! a topic called Fat girls. Nice

Ok this girl seems to have some deep personal issues. She's be in the self harm category I would suspect. Obviously this mightn't be physical self harm but this constant need to ask you am I fat am I fat, isn't her actually asking you anything. It's her telling herself she is fat over and over again.

Women are... different

Ok I'm having a chat with this girl recently.

I tell her. Hey my wife nags me all the time about the kids misbehaving
So I go and discipline the child
And the wife doesn't speak to me for two days.

???

Yeh she says I do that with my husband too.

Really explain that to me logically, why would you do such a thing?

Anyways after about a half and hour I finally realised that the women is this situation doesn't want you to fix the problem only empathise with her.

Has anyone ever seen white men can't jump? The scene with the glass of water?

I too amm thisty lol, I too would like a glass of water. Ahhh funny...

You're trying to almost fix the problem.

You are thinking maybe if I just be honest and tell her she a fattie, she'll go and get thin. Trying to fix the problem, is what you are doing.

What you need to do is find out why she hates herself so much. Do this during the course of several long walks...

Great points, Asiyreh!

Women often reach out with the need to be heard, validated, and understood, not to be "fixed". It could very well be that this girl is constantly wondering "am I worthless?" and is phrasing it as "am I fat?" as a (possibly subconscious) cover up. Girls who constantly ask about their worth (whether it's their looks or something else) or who constantly need affirmation or who constantly belittle themselves; they're in pain. They're desperately searching for someone to say "You're special. You're worthwhile. You're important. You have a purpose. You're valuable." Not to "fix" their problems; only they can do that. But they're looking for a reason to WANT to fix their problems. I bet you there's a 99% chance this girl does not have a decent relationship with her father. A girl who never received affirmation from her father will forever be reaching out to men trying to find it. It's sad.

 

[miss-a]

Great points, Asiyreh!

Women often reach out with the need to be heard, validated, and understood, not to be "fixed". It could very well be that this girl is constantly wondering "am I worthless?" and is phrasing it as "am I fat?" as a (possibly subconscious) cover up. Girls who constantly ask about their worth (whether it's their looks or something else) or who constantly need affirmation or who constantly belittle themselves; they're in pain. They're desperately searching for someone to say "You're special. You're worthwhile. You're important. You have a purpose. You're valuable." Not to "fix" their problems; only they can do that. But they're looking for a reason to WANT to fix their problems. I bet you there's a 99% chance this girl does not have a decent relationship with her father. A girl who never received affirmation from her father will forever be reaching out to men trying to find it. It's sad.

Nicely stated.

 

[miss-a]

"Jesus used the hands of the disciples for the distributing of bread and fish. He used their lips and tongues for the preaching of the gospel. If God is going to get his work done in this world, He must use the various members of our bodies, empowered by the Spirit of God.

Satan knows that he can hinder God's work by attacking God's workers and putting their "tools " out of commission. The Greek word translated "instuments" in Romans 6:13 can be translated "tool" or even "weapon." Just as God the Son had to take on a body to accomplish His work on earth, so the Holy Spirit needs our bodies. The members of your body are tools in the Spirit's hands to help build the Church here on earth. Never underestimate the importance of your body. The Christian who is careless about his health or safety is playing right into the hands of the destroyer."
--Warren W. Wiersbe from The Strategy of Satan

 

[Inkachu]

"Jesus used the hands of the disciples for the distributing of bread and fish. He used their lips and tongues for the preaching of the gospel. If God is going to get his work done in this world, He must use the various members of our bodies, empowered by the Spirit of God.

Satan knows that he can hinder God's work by attacking God's workers and putting their "tools " out of commission. The Greek word translated "instuments" in Romans 6:13 can be translated "tool" or even "weapon." Just as God the Son had to take on a body to accomplish His work on earth, so the Holy Spirit needs our bodies. The members of your body are tools in the Spirit's hands to help build the Church here on earth. Never underestimate the importance of your body. The Christian who is careless about his health or safety is playing right into the hands of the destroyer."
--Warren W. Wiersbe from The Strategy of Satan

Thank you for your compliment, AND...

... completely unrelated, but what you just posted here confirms something my husband and I were talking about just yesterday. Amazing how God works confirmations into our day-to-day activities like that I'm going to copy and send that to my hubby, so thank you!

 

[miss-a]

Great! In that case, I better get that thing on Facebook!

 

[EstherStar]

Its encouraging to think i could get fit in a 3 to 6 months.

 

[Inkachu]

I agree, Esther. It's really just a matter of making a decision and sticking with it. So simple, but so NOT EASY lol.

 

[toolite]

Laugh or get mad if you want... if an overweight female says " do you think I'm fat? " with that I HAVE NO SELF ESTEEM look on her face... what am I supposed to do? Say I like fat girls? Date her so she feels better? act like she's attractive? Lie and say shed not when she knowd I'm lying? If I agree that yes she's fat then I become the dark lord Sauron or Satan and the guilt is all mine. She did it to herself, not me.

I'm at a loss... I think honesty is best from now on. thoughts?

Yes, but don't try to raise your self esteem by dating someone you believe is not your type.. if she is fat.. she is fat.. but, if you don't like fat girls don't entertain fat girls in your company... you have a morale obligation too..

Glory To God

 

[MercyandFaith]

In my opinion, if a fat person is the one to initiate and ask the question as to whether they are fat, they have no one to blame but themselves if they get an answer they don't like. And I don't say that to be insensitive in the least, but just that if they initiate the question, then they were the ones who wanted to bring up the topic.

 

[Bella Vita]

Really? Where?

"Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

This passage is about having sex with prostitutes. Not avoiding apple fritters.

Gluttony is a sin overindulging in anything is a sin food is not exempt from that. God gave you a body to take care of so you should if you are unhealthy because you make poor choices that limits your ability to do work for God's kingdom. I am not jumping on bigger people my own husband struggles with his weight even skinny people can be unhealthy. None of it is good either way you look at it.

 

[Inkachu]

In my opinion, if a fat person is the one to initiate and ask the question as to whether they are fat, they have no one to blame but themselves if they get an answer they don't like. And I don't say that to be insensitive in the least, but just that if they initiate the question, then they were the ones who wanted to bring up the topic.

In essence, you're right. BUT if we look a little deeper, past the question, and to the reasons behind the question, it's likely that it isn't a question about their weight at all. They're looking for affirmation of their value as a human being. I know that that isn't typically how guys think, guys are usually "say what you mean" But from the female perspective, it's just a little insight, take it or leave it

 

[OntheHorizon]

Its encouraging to think i could get fit in a 3 to 6 months.

3 - 6 months is were you see real results and it will no longer be super hard for you, you'll be enjoying it. If your not enjoying it your doing it wrong.

if you have money to spare get a trainer, one that's atleast certified by an organization like NASM. Most people do not know much about exercise science. If not take, take it slow and join some fitness classes at a local gym. Exercise should not hurt, take it slow at first. This not any discredit to yourself, your central nervous system needs to learn how to produce the movements and you need to condition those force couples ( joints ) before you start adding weight and intensity.

or if your eccentric like me spend 50 bucks and by the national academy of sports medicine certification study book and read it. You'll learn everything you'll ever need to know about fitness and never really need help again.