- Aug 5, 2014
- 6
- 0
- 38
- Gender
- Male
- Faith
- Calvary Chapel
- Marital Status
- Single
- Politics
- US-Others
Greetings,
Let me first give you a little background, I was raised Roman Catholic. My spiritual upbringing was largely through my grandmother, both my parents being not particularly religious. Around the time I turned 18, I came under the influence of a Fundamentalist Baptist friend who strongly believes that Roman Catholicism is a counterfeit religion created by Satan. I departed the RCC without having a church to go to, so I remained an "Independent Christian" until 2010. Ithen got into my local Calvary Chapel and later into a plant of that church, where I remained off and on until June of 2014. I later joined another Evangelical church from July-December 2014.
Leading up to the time of my departure from Calvary Chapel, we were studying through 1,2 Peter and 1 John. I began to feel less and less saved and more and more confused and condemned each week. Beginning with my Baptist friend in 2005, I was led to faith by Ephesians 2:8-10. By May 2014, the sermons I was hearing began to contain many "if/then" statements. "If you are saved,then you will see this fruit in your life" or "If this sounds like you, I would be really concerned as to whether you're saved".
I know the bible cannot contradict itself, so the misunderstanding must be on my end. If I was saved (eternally) by grace in 2005 per Romans 8:39, but in 2014 my thoughts, words, and actions do not resemble the biblical definition of a Christian per 1John 1:1-2:19, than what am I? Jesus spoke strongly in Matthew 7, that not everyone who says "Lord, Lord" is saved, but only he who does the will of the Father. In John's Gospel, Jesus says that "My sheep hearMy voice...and follow Me". How can I know if I have ever heard Jesus speak to me? When I read commentaries regarding Eternal vs Conditional security, I only feel confused and condemned. In my latter days at Calvary Chapel, I was hearing both doctrines taught as one. If one is truly saved, he cannot lose salvation, God will continue His work within him. If one was in the church, living the "saved" life, but later departs, he was never really saved to begin with, and by your thoughts words and deeds you have a spiritual barometer.
I have come to the conclusion that one can believe that Jesus Christ isLord, but still not be saved. For a few years I truly believed I was saved, my past present and future sins forgotten, my holy criminal record lost in the fire, with Jesus' record to replace it. That salvation was by grace through faith alone, nothing I could do to earn it or lose it. That was until we got to 2Peter and 1John, as well as a personal reading of James, who emphasised knowing our salvation by our works.
I still believe that Jesus is the only way to God and Heaven, but based on my fondness for four letter words, my disdain and contempt of my fellow man, and a sexual sin that I havefought since I was 14, I do not qualify as a Christian under 1Cor 6:9, 1John 1-2:19, or Matt 7:22. I have heard pastors teach that we all struggle with sin, but if years later we are still dealing with the same particular sin, we need to question whether we are indeed saved, because Jesus frees us from the sins we strggle with.
I do not have any bad feelings toward God. I do not believe He has failed me, but that I failed Him. This post is certainly not exhaustive, but I feel adequately represents my struggle over the past few years. I could go on ad nauseum how I feel condemned by the people in church.Being a single man at 28 often raises a few eyebrows in an Evangelical setting. Given my lack of people skills, and common interests, or even how to court a woman, I expect to be a "Bachelor 'til the Rapture"
I'm dead serious when I say I am seriously considering joining a Unitarian Church. I feel like the battle has been lost, so I might as well lay down my weapon and step off the battlefield. I don't know how to be a Christian, and I'm tired of putting on the fake smile and telling everyone at church that my "walk" is going fine. Billy Graham once said that Christianity isnt for wimps.
Any insights you have would be helpful, and I hate to have to ask this, but based on past experiences discussing this with pastors, please don't "kick me while I'm down".
Thank you
Let me first give you a little background, I was raised Roman Catholic. My spiritual upbringing was largely through my grandmother, both my parents being not particularly religious. Around the time I turned 18, I came under the influence of a Fundamentalist Baptist friend who strongly believes that Roman Catholicism is a counterfeit religion created by Satan. I departed the RCC without having a church to go to, so I remained an "Independent Christian" until 2010. Ithen got into my local Calvary Chapel and later into a plant of that church, where I remained off and on until June of 2014. I later joined another Evangelical church from July-December 2014.
Leading up to the time of my departure from Calvary Chapel, we were studying through 1,2 Peter and 1 John. I began to feel less and less saved and more and more confused and condemned each week. Beginning with my Baptist friend in 2005, I was led to faith by Ephesians 2:8-10. By May 2014, the sermons I was hearing began to contain many "if/then" statements. "If you are saved,then you will see this fruit in your life" or "If this sounds like you, I would be really concerned as to whether you're saved".
I know the bible cannot contradict itself, so the misunderstanding must be on my end. If I was saved (eternally) by grace in 2005 per Romans 8:39, but in 2014 my thoughts, words, and actions do not resemble the biblical definition of a Christian per 1John 1:1-2:19, than what am I? Jesus spoke strongly in Matthew 7, that not everyone who says "Lord, Lord" is saved, but only he who does the will of the Father. In John's Gospel, Jesus says that "My sheep hearMy voice...and follow Me". How can I know if I have ever heard Jesus speak to me? When I read commentaries regarding Eternal vs Conditional security, I only feel confused and condemned. In my latter days at Calvary Chapel, I was hearing both doctrines taught as one. If one is truly saved, he cannot lose salvation, God will continue His work within him. If one was in the church, living the "saved" life, but later departs, he was never really saved to begin with, and by your thoughts words and deeds you have a spiritual barometer.
I have come to the conclusion that one can believe that Jesus Christ isLord, but still not be saved. For a few years I truly believed I was saved, my past present and future sins forgotten, my holy criminal record lost in the fire, with Jesus' record to replace it. That salvation was by grace through faith alone, nothing I could do to earn it or lose it. That was until we got to 2Peter and 1John, as well as a personal reading of James, who emphasised knowing our salvation by our works.
I still believe that Jesus is the only way to God and Heaven, but based on my fondness for four letter words, my disdain and contempt of my fellow man, and a sexual sin that I havefought since I was 14, I do not qualify as a Christian under 1Cor 6:9, 1John 1-2:19, or Matt 7:22. I have heard pastors teach that we all struggle with sin, but if years later we are still dealing with the same particular sin, we need to question whether we are indeed saved, because Jesus frees us from the sins we strggle with.
I do not have any bad feelings toward God. I do not believe He has failed me, but that I failed Him. This post is certainly not exhaustive, but I feel adequately represents my struggle over the past few years. I could go on ad nauseum how I feel condemned by the people in church.Being a single man at 28 often raises a few eyebrows in an Evangelical setting. Given my lack of people skills, and common interests, or even how to court a woman, I expect to be a "Bachelor 'til the Rapture"
I'm dead serious when I say I am seriously considering joining a Unitarian Church. I feel like the battle has been lost, so I might as well lay down my weapon and step off the battlefield. I don't know how to be a Christian, and I'm tired of putting on the fake smile and telling everyone at church that my "walk" is going fine. Billy Graham once said that Christianity isnt for wimps.
Any insights you have would be helpful, and I hate to have to ask this, but based on past experiences discussing this with pastors, please don't "kick me while I'm down".
Thank you
