If I was saved (eternally) by grace in 2005 per Romans 8:39, but in 2014 my thoughts, words, and actions do not resemble the biblical definition of a Christian per 1John 1:1-2:19, than what am I? Jesus spoke strongly in Matthew 7, that not everyone who says "Lord, Lord" is saved, but only he who does the will of the Father. In John's Gospel, Jesus says that "My sheep hearMy voice...and follow Me". How can I know if I have ever heard Jesus speak to me?
Why don't you believe that your thoughts, words, and actions do not fit the profile described in 1 John 1 and 2? Remember, this passage includes:
"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.
My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world. "
Do you confess and renounce sin as you become aware of it? Do you change your ways or at least devote time and energy to how you can practically change your ways to be more in line with Jesus?
For a few years I truly believed I was saved, my past present and future sins forgotten, my holy criminal record lost in the fire, with Jesus' record to replace it. That salvation was by grace through faith alone, nothing I could do to earn it or lose it. That was until we got to 2Peter and 1John, as well as a personal reading of James, who emphasised knowing our salvation by our works.
2 Peter was about identifying people who were worse than moral failures, they were wolves in sheep's clothing. These were manipulators who would work the church's system and establish themselves as teachers, while getting into gullible womens' pants. If that doesn't describe your life, I wouldn't be too concerned.
1 John was about identifying the Gnostics that were within the ranks of the church. These were people that claimed that the sins of the body did not affect the soul, and therefore lived immoral lives, they were unloving people. They claimed that Jesus was a "divine phantom" and thus did not come in the flesh, hence passages like 1 John 4:2-3.
I still believe that Jesus is the only way to God and Heaven, but based on my fondness for four letter words, my disdain and contempt of my fellow man, and a sexual sin that I havefought since I was 14, I do not qualify as a Christian under 1Cor 6:9, 1John 1-2:19, or Matt 7:22.
Well, Matt 7:22 doesn't tell you who is fake and who is not, just what some of the fakes say. Again, with 1 John 1-2, look at the overall pattern - are you sinning less, wanting to sin less, and devoting time and energy to how to sin less? That's love for God. Also, never read 1 Co 6:9 or 10 without reading verse 11 - "And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." In Christ, the sin doesn't define us anymore. God has given us a new identity, so indulging in the deeds of death is really living a lie to who we really are now, in Christ. Remeber Romans 6:20-23:
"For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
That's an admonishment to live up to the identity we have been given in Christ. Also, remember that every Paul was writing these instructions to those who were already saved:
"Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." - Eph 4:25-32
This means there were people in the Lord who still had issues with falsehood, anger outside God's bounds, theft, corrupting talk, bitterness, malice, and lack of forgiveness toward one another. In an anointed church! Paul was telling them all to move past that.
I have heard pastors teach that we all struggle with sin, but if years later we are still dealing with the same particular sin, we need to question whether we are indeed saved, because Jesus frees us from the sins we strggle with.
I do not have any bad feelings toward God. I do not believe He has failed me, but that I failed Him. This post is certainly not exhaustive, but I feel adequately represents my struggle over the past few years. I could go on ad nauseum how I feel condemned by the people in church.Being a single man at 28 often raises a few eyebrows in an Evangelical setting. Given my lack of people skills, and common interests, or even how to court a woman, I expect to be a "Bachelor 'til the Rapture"
I'm dead serious when I say I am seriously considering joining a Unitarian Church. I feel like the battle has been lost, so I might as well lay down my weapon and step off the battlefield. I don't know how to be a Christian, and I'm tired of putting on the fake smile and telling everyone at church that my "walk" is going fine. Billy Graham once said that Christianity isnt for wimps.
All this is leading you to considering a Unitarian church, which will likely not preach the Gospel. Big picture here: Satan's using all this to deceive you. He's accusing you of your own sin, making you believe that you flunked out of Christianity (which the New Testament doesn't tell us that we can do) even though you seem to be a conscientious person, and now he has you considering going to the heretics. The way to live out "Christianity isn't for wimps" here is to stop giving credence to these ideas that you're too much of a failure to be a real Christian, which is a lie of the devil.
I too have been shaken, wondering if I truly loved God because of the sin in my life. There were some weeks of intense prayer, but the conclusion to that matter was that I do in fact love him, just not enough. "Lord, I love you, help me to love you more." That, if you can identify with that sentiment, is a good prayer to pray.
