Ethics in dating: Pursuing someone already in a relationship(non-marriage)?

[Princess Pea]

As to the question about not lasting, I am sad to say that is because of me and my issues, but I assure you I have been seeking to remedy this over the last while and have been on a vow of "isolation" to be sure of a clear prospective(I still don’t think I am or was a player and I would appreciate everyone keeping away from the word, thank you).

As for your question Princess Pea, I agree with you, however when I used the “serious and committed” line I was referring to the dynamic rather than in the marriage sense, so that my definitions. For a long time my relationship style has been fundamentally flawed(I fully admit that) and I am working hard make sure that a demon I beat.

As for this situation I am about to face, upon reflection of your answers I intend to heed your wise words and keep away from courting. It will be hard, she has already hinted that she wants to start something(in my mind) today she started the “boyfriend” non-fulfilling bit and telling me how she thinking of leaving very soon(maybe that just a girl thing). Also the probing questions, and it doesn’t help I despise the guy she with and we liked each other back and forth for years(with me or her backing off thousand of times). Oh well faith in G-d, faith in G-d…right?


Appreciate it!

This is good - you posted a question, got several responses, and are now taking the answers to heart and seriously trying to make some changes. That's a trait that doesn't show up on every thread posted here, and it's a very good thing.

PS: One more thing, just cause you don’t think of me bad enough already: using my other friends to help a brake up happen sooner is just as wrong, right?

Umm ... yeah. But you know that already, don't you?

 

[Macrina]

Sorry about that . My mistake. Hope you can forgive me. I should have read the OP and your post more thoroughly. It was wrong of my to jump in with something that was on my mind (and seemed similar to the topic at hand), but apparently wasn't close enough. I just painted myself into a corner, pressed to defend something that I don't believe.

I have a problem with that too, so we agree.

My argument is dependent on one member of a casually dating couple actively wanting to break up despite external pressures, and having an interest in dating somebody else. It has to do with a situation that I was on my mind, involving people I know, not myself (except for how I might act in that particular situation, in the unlikely event that I find myself facing a similar predicament... which I now realize is probably too convoluted and off-topic for this thread).

Nothing to forgive -- I'm not upset (I know it's hard to communicate tone online without a bunch of cheesy smilies). Just wanted to clarify.

Yeah, it gets into a bit more of a gray area when one person wants to break up. Still, though, my advice to people who are in a relationship but attracted to someone else is to finish one relationship before starting a new one. I dig closure.

 

[JPPT1974]

Yes, I realize now that you are speaking from a different perspective than the OP. It confused me when I disagreed with him and you disputed what I had to say -- naturally, it made me think you were arguing his point of view. My problem is with someone actively trying to break up an exclusive relationship. That's all.

I think that when you are in
A relationship with someone
That you aren't married to
But say you are in a marriage yourself
That is lusting for someone that isn't your spouse
You see where I am getting at!