10 Things Men Need in a Woman

[timewerx]

It's interesting you're relying on yourself for deconstruction not the Lord. There's a difference in scope and approach. The Holy Spirit doesn't contradict the word. That's one of the ways you can tell a lying spirit is near. They can quote the bible but there's always something off.

The Holy Spirit never taught me about doctrines, theologies, Biblical interpretations, etc.

But the Holy Spirit did tell me many times to do some digging in some topics in the Bible on my own without the biases of this world because the world is the enemy.

If wrong interpretations have been made, it would entirely be my fault.

In all the years I've communed with the Lord He's never said the same. And the word I received still holds true.

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

This is one of the reasons I pray scripture and did from beginning. It's a good defense against spiritual error and provides an unlimited reservoir of truth. That's what the Spirit brings to remembrance.

The word that comes to mind is mixture. There's another influence here.

The Lord will never tell you things you're not ready or unable to accept.

This is why important revelations are not the same for every Christian. The Lord will try His best to tell you truth but He won't freak you out of your mind either. He will only point you where to dig but you have to dig it on your own.

 

[GodBeMercifulToMeASinner]

The Holy Spirit never taught me about doctrines, theologies, Biblical interpretations, etc.

But the Holy Spirit did tell me many times to do some digging in some topics in the Bible on my own without the biases of this world because the world is the enemy.

If wrong interpretations have been made, it would entirely be my fault.



The Lord will never tell you things you're not ready or unable to accept.

This is why important revelations are not the same for every Christian. The Lord will try His best to tell you truth but He won't freak you out of your mind either. He will only point you where to dig but you have to dig it on your own.

Well, after all, ‘theology’ by definition = religious theory. It’s manmade. I was never led to get into any of that either..so many different teachings; so many different beliefs. This is what happens when academia is used to interpret scripture rather than the Spirit and it’s anointing (1 John 2:27) and when the ‘church’ so-called is no longer limited to God’s ekklesia, those called out by Him, set apart for His cause, but anyone. That’s part of the business model though..higher numbers, more billions. The ‘educated’ ‘theologian’ types conveniently ignore what the Lord Jesus Christ said about spiritual truths;

“At that time Jesus answered and said, I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes.”
—Matthew 11:25

And here is what Paul said,

“For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;”
—1 Corinthians 1:26-27

“Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.”
—Colossians 2:8

The modern religious system is all about theologies, rites, rituals, holidays. As it was, it will be again (Ecclesiastes 1:9).

“I hate, I despise your feast days, and I will not smell in your solemn assemblies. Though ye offer me burnt offerings and your meat offerings, I will not accept them: neither will I regard the peace offerings of your fat beasts. Take thou away from me the noise of thy songs; for I will not hear the melody of thy viols. But let judgment run down as waters, and righteousness as a mighty stream.”
—Amos 5:21-24

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.”
—Hosea 4:6

“Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men:”
—Isaiah 29:13

“Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying, This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.”
—Matthew 15:7-9

Like you say, we will all be wrong at times, we will still have fleshly struggles. What matters is, who is willing to admit when they are wrong, allow for the Holy Spirit to convict and cause for them to repent of their false ways? Most people only get triggered. They hold dear their manmade traditions and lies, but God is to be worshipped in spirit and in truth (John 4:24).

“Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake.”
—Luke 6:22

People forget, passages like Matthew 7:20-24 and Matthew 25:44-46 describe people who believe. They probably all pride themselves on their religious theology while forgetting Galatians 5:14. But in the corrupt religious system, love thy neighbor only applies when thy neighbor unquestioningly complies. Yet Jesus never attempted to impose His will on anyone. He just told the truth, take it or leave it.

 

[bèlla]

But the Holy Spirit did tell me many times to do some digging in some topics in the Bible on my own without the biases of this world because the world is the enemy.

It is impossible to reside in the world and avoid impact. Whether you're consciously aware or not; your thoughts, feelings and experiences have nuances. That's why two people can see the same thing, hear an identical message or share the same experience and come away with different impressions. The mutual element is silently influenced by other factors we aren't privy to. They can be missed in discourse unless you listen closely and do so continually.

But written communication differs. It's less mysterious and easier to parse. We reveal more about ourselves in that medium than we do when conversing. Words have a voice and as you read you'll hear a lot. You believe you're unbiased because you don't read yourself. You can't hear the slant but I do.

Long ago there was popular term called imp. It's short for imposter. It was a common practice in places where people gathered. Sometimes a user would pretend to be someone else and was able to do so by selecting the same username and mimicking their avatar. The only way you could differentiate between the two was their writing.

Some were adept but they were caught. Largely due to the nuances that color our outlook. Most importantly, the absence of scrutiny. When you don't read yourself you don't recognize your inconsistencies and contradictions. You're responding in the moment and assume your replies follow a similar thread. In some ways they do and others not so much.

If you read your posts you'd notice several themes in your replies. Irrespective of the subject. That's the real you peeking out. It's the bias you mentioned rearing its head. And depending on the subject your response is favorable or less so. The same holds true for most. After a while it's fairly predictive. You can anticipate where the person's going without diving too deep. You know the pattern and look for the conclusion to see if it mirrors the rest (their norm) or provides a different perspective.

That's why I raised the question.

The Lord will never tell you things you're not ready or unable to accept.

This is why important revelations are not the same for every Christian. The Lord will try His best to tell you truth but He won't freak you out of your mind either. He will only point you where to dig but you have to dig it on your own.

There's a biblical precedent for revelation. Patterns we see throughout the bible. Mysteries are imparted for a reason. There's usually a work or purpose behind them. While some may not come forth the collective is intentional. Our experiences are heading somewhere.

In Paul we find the culmination of study and divine impartation. You've mentioned the first but say little about the second and its an integral part of the process. You can accomplish much through digging but it has its limitations. You need the Lord's input for mysteries.

The Holy Spirit is gentle. But He doesn't withhold the truth in our discourse. Nor does He refrain from issuing warnings when I'm veering off course or telling me things that may cause discomfort. Holiness is His aim after all.

In respect to theology and traditions, it's important to differentiate between our starting point and where we are. With the understanding we're progressing in some areas and less so in others. Places of strength and knowledge shouldn't be lorded over others. Nor should we badger them with the truth.

While I don't have an alliance to any school of thought within Christianity. I can see how I've benefited from my experiences within the faith and beyond it. God used it all and caused all things to work together for the good. Even the unpleasant parts.

Application is an integral part of my spiritual walk. I'm not enamored with knowledge. I'm looking for the person, place or situation that requires my input in light of His revelations. Whereas the devil fills your head with facts. You'll be a walking encyclopedia. Rich in information and poor in fruit.

Oftentimes they find their way to the Internet. It provides a forum for their discourse. But much like I said about myself I do with others. The more I hear 'God told me this or showed me that' the more I wonder who's the beneficiary? Who are you teaching, blessing, supporting and so on? There's always a target.

~bella

 

[Tranquil Bondservant]

Well, after all, ‘theology’ by definition = religious theory. It’s manmade. I was never led to get into any of that either..so many different teachings; so many different beliefs. This is what happens when academia is used to interpret scripture rather than the Spirit and it’s anointing (1 John 2:27) and when the ‘church’ so-called is no longer limited to God’s ekklesia, those called out by Him, set apart for His cause, but anyone. That’s part of the business model though..higher numbers, more billions. The ‘educated’ ‘theologian’ types conveniently ignore what the Lord Jesus Christ said about spiritual truths;

“At that time Jesus answered and said, I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes.”
—Matthew 11:25

And here is what Paul said,

“For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;”
—1 Corinthians 1:26-27

“Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.”
—Colossians 2:8

The modern religious system is all about theologies, rites, rituals, holidays. As it was, it will be again (Ecclesiastes 1:9).

“I hate, I despise your feast days, and I will not smell in your solemn assemblies. Though ye offer me burnt offerings and your meat offerings, I will not accept them: neither will I regard the peace offerings of your fat beasts. Take thou away from me the noise of thy songs; for I will not hear the melody of thy viols. But let judgment run down as waters, and righteousness as a mighty stream.”
—Amos 5:21-24

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.”
—Hosea 4:6

“Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men:”
—Isaiah 29:13

“Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying, This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.”
—Matthew 15:7-9

Like you say, we will all be wrong at times, we will still have fleshly struggles. What matters is, who is willing to admit when they are wrong, allow for the Holy Spirit to convict and cause for them to repent of their false ways? Most people only get triggered. They hold dear their manmade traditions and lies, but God is to be worshipped in spirit and in truth (John 4:24).

“Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake.”
—Luke 6:22

People forget, passages like Matthew 7:20-24 and Matthew 25:44-46 describe people who believe. They probably all pride themselves on their religious theology while forgetting Galatians 5:14. But in the corrupt religious system, love thy neighbor only applies when thy neighbor unquestioningly complies. Yet Jesus never attempted to impose His will on anyone. He just told the truth, take it or leave it.

Actually the etymology and definition of Theology is "the study of God". If ever you see "ology" it 99% of the time means "study of" and "Theo" or "Theos" is (Koine) Greek for God. So Theology means study of God. It's one of the reasons why the word "theopneustos" (aka "God breathed"; the word that's translated as "inspired") in 2 Timothy 3:16 is so significant as it vividly describes the nature of Scripture; which, @timewerx, during the time of the Apostolic teaching Paul's writings were seen as (2 Peter 3:16 "as the rest of the Scriptures"). Therefore every time anyone engages in Scripture reading or spiritual study they are doing/engaging in Theology.

 

[bèlla]

Personally speaking, in my mind the only thing anyone ever truly needs (i.e., can't do without) in a partner is that they love God as much or more than them.

I am more concerned with how a person's love for God influences their behavior and decisions. For the majority love is an emotion that may not bear witness to the things they say and do to one another. I look at character in equal measure. That's the real you and the person they're getting at the altar. The better you won't always show up. We have to choose the flaws we can live with.

Some people have a greater moral compass than others and I fall within that group. I have an intricate sense of right and wrong and require the same in my companion. I'm not desirous of wigglers or those who try to skim the line and remain a hair from the other side. That's not who I am.

You need a depth of conscientiousness to relate with me. I know how I feel and think before I speak. I mean everything I say even when I'm wrong. It's not a Freudian slip or emotional response. I meant it. When you develop a habit of tasting your words your conversations change. That's why I don't argue.

God may be foremost in your life but you may lack self-control. We all have shortcomings but that isn't one I could live with. And I know that. While I agree that loving the Lord is important other qualities matter. There has to be a genuine want for betterment and a willingness to confront those places within yourself that require attention. There's six degrees of separation in that principle. The Lord can point things out but we have to be willing to change and do the work.

Some are more willing than others and some resist. You need to know where you are on the spectrum and the complement or counterbalance you require. I love change and spiritual growth and I'm very adaptable. It isn't hard for me to shift because I'm a risk-taker. I want steady progression in my life and relationships and in order to achieve it we must be willing to move.

Because I know those things about myself I choose men who feel the same and agree on the main things. That isn't the lone approach but it's the one I prefer.

 

[Tranquil Bondservant]

I am more concerned with how a person's love for God influences their behavior and decisions. For the majority love is an emotion that may not bear witness to the things they say and do to one another. I look at character in equal measure. That's the real you and the person they're getting at the altar. The better you won't always show up. We have to choose the flaws we can live with.

Some people have a greater moral compass than others and I fall within that group. I have an intricate sense of right and wrong and require the same in my companion. I'm not desirous of wigglers or those who try to skim the line and remain a hair from the other side. That's not who I am.

You need a depth of conscientiousness to relate with me. I know how I feel and think before I speak. I mean everything I say even when I'm wrong. It's not a Freudian slip or emotional response. I meant it. When you develop a habit of tasting your words your conversations change. That's why I don't argue.

God may be foremost in your life but you may lack self-control. We all have shortcomings but that isn't one I could live with. And I know that. While I agree that loving the Lord is important other qualities matter. There has to be a genuine want for betterment and a willingness to confront those places within yourself that require attention. There's six degrees of separation in that principle. The Lord can point things out but we have to be willing to change and do the work.

Some are more willing than others and some resist. You need to know where you are on the spectrum and the complement or counterbalance you require. I love change and spiritual growth and I'm very adaptable. It isn't hard for me to shift because I'm a risk-taker. I want steady progression in my life and relationships and in order to achieve it we must be willing to move.

Because I know those things about myself I choose men who feel the same and agree on the main things. That isn't the lone approach but it's the one I prefer.

Hey sorry I deleted my post rather quickly as I thought that it was not worth voicing. Disagreeing on a topic such as this can carry heavy consequences (especially in this sub-forum) and I don't take James 3:1 lightly so I figured it was best to zip it rather than proceed in a topic that may potentially cause my brothers and sisters to stumble.

 

[bèlla]

Hey sorry I deleted my post rather quickly as I thought that it was not worth voicing. Disagreeing on a topic such as this can carry heavy consequences (especially in this sub-forum) and I don't take James 3:1 lightly so I figured it was best to zip it rather than proceed in a topic that may potentially cause my brothers and sisters to stumble.

Your post was fine.

I thought your perspective was valuable and provided a different approach. In a time when must-have's are plentiful you're willing to work with someone who shares your faith and see where it leads. I can't say I wish I was the same. I know I could if I was determined or had a compelling reason. But that hasn't happened. ;-)

~bella

 

[Tranquil Bondservant]

Your post was fine.

I thought your perspective was valuable and provided a different approach. In a time when must-have's are plentiful you're willing to work with someone who shares your faith and see where it leads. I can't say I wish I was the same. I know I could if I was determined or had a compelling reason. But that hasn't happened. ;-)

~bella

In my mind it's not so much a willingness to work with someone and see where it leads (though that would be involved I suppose), but more putting God first. If both people share in the belief that God is involved in the relationship and God Himself is first in the minds of those involved, then the relationship itself becomes a cord of 3 (Ecclesiastes 4:12) with God at the centre. It's no longer a purely human relationship with solely human parameters, but one that's rooted in Christ and becomes supernatural as God Himself becomes a living & breathing participant in said relationship.

 

[bèlla]

In my mind it's not so much a willingness to work with someone and see where it leads (though that would be involved I suppose), but more putting God first. If both people share in the belief that God is involved in the relationship and God Himself is first in the minds of those involved, then the relationship itself becomes a cord of 3 (Ecclesiastes 4:12) with God at the centre. It's no longer a purely human relationship with solely human parameters, but one that's rooted in Christ and becomes supernatural as God Himself becomes a living & breathing participant in said relationship.

I agree with all you said. But who are you in light of those words? No one brings their A-game 24/7. You're not operating in that sphere all the time nor am I. Who are they getting when you're not hitting on all cylinders? Aspiration is great but it isn't reality.

For I do not understand my own actions [I am baffled and bewildered by them]. I do not practice what I want to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate [and yielding to my human nature, my worldliness—my sinful capacity].

There's nothing wrong with high ideals. But we don't morph into new people upon marriage. The things we do today are the things we'll do with them. All the things you said about God should be undertaken now. Whatever you want to change or put in place do it before they arrive. That's when you know you're serious. When you're willing to invest in light of what's to come you mean business.

~bella

 

[Tranquil Bondservant]

I agree with all you said. But who are you in light of those words? No one brings their A-game 24/7. You're not operating in that sphere all the time nor am I. Who are they getting when you're not hitting on all cylinders? Aspiration is great but it isn't reality.

For I do not understand my own actions [I am baffled and bewildered by them]. I do not practice what I want to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate [and yielding to my human nature, my worldliness—my sinful capacity].

There's nothing wrong with high ideals. But we don't morph into new people upon marriage. The things we do today are the things we'll do with them. All the things you said about God should be undertaken now. Whatever you want to change or put in place do it before they arrive. That's when you know you're serious. When you're willing to invest in light of what's to come you mean business.

~bella

God is the value in every breath I take. A relationship built on and brought about by God and with His blessing is one that can be sustained indefinitely. The only thing required is both parties putting Him first in all situations. In my mind because God is the reason I live, He's also the reason for any partnership with someone. I can't separate these "ideals" from the nature of marriage as marriage itself or a relationship leading to it in my mind has to do with God and He is the primary reason for it. Personally from my perspective these aren't high ideals, putting God first and the partner second should be the default for both parties. When it's the case then the relationship becomes effectively like concrete (as opposed to sand) because God is the reason for it and He is the reason to keep it.

 

[bèlla]

God is the value in every breath I take. A relationship built on and brought about by God and with His blessing is one that can be sustained indefinitely. The only thing required is both parties putting Him first in all situations.

How often do you do that? Do you understand what I'm getting at? No one lives or serves the Lord in perfection constantly. There are going to be times when you don't put Him first and she'll have her share.

Personally from my perspective these aren't high ideals, putting God first and the partner second should be the default for both parties. When it's the case then the relationship becomes effectively like concrete (as opposed to sand) because God is the reason for it and He is the reason to keep it.

We should endeavor to put Him first and do as He instructs. But nevertheless, I'm not living with Jesus. I'm living with a man who endeavors to be like Him and learning how. He hasn't perfected it and nor have I. How we handle our imperfections is the difference.

I don't downplay the Lord's importance or value to my relationship. But I won't trivialize the challenges of permanent bonds or spiritualize them to the point where problems seem minimal. I know it's hard.

There's a lot of unknowns in long-term connections. When you've spent 20 years or more with someone you see a lot. It gives you a perspective you lack when your connections don't have the same tenure. You learn how to avoid the landmines, when to let things go, how to keep the peace, appreciate them and so on.

There's an art to growing old with someone. Whether they're a friend or spouse.

~bella

 

[Tranquil Bondservant]

We should endeavor to put Him first and do as He instructs. But nevertheless, I'm not living with Jesus. I'm living with a man who endeavors to be like Him and learning how. He hasn't perfected it and nor have I. How we handle our imperfections is the difference.

I don't downplay the Lord's importance or value to my relationship. But I won't trivialize the challenges of permanent bonds or spiritualize them to the point where problems seem minimal. I know it's hard.

There's a lot of unknowns in long-term connections. When you've spent 20 years or more with someone you see a lot. It gives you a perspective you lack when your connections don't have the same tenure. You learn how to avoid the landmines, when to let things go, how to keep the peace, appreciate them and so on.

There's an art to growing old with someone. Whether they're a friend or spouse.

~bella

Yeah I'm not discounting this being the case. My only point is that when God is first in all things that everything else falls into place, that if that's in place and God is in the relationship so to speak, then you can have a kind of surety regarding everything that's unavailable to the world. God is not going to give His children that He's bringing together or uniting a scorpion, a snake or a stone. I'm not trivialising potential challenges that need to be navigated, I'm only saying through Christ all of them will be resolved. There is still going to be ample opportunities for patience, grace and love expressing itself through bearing with one another.

How often do you do that? Do you understand what I'm getting at? No one lives or serves the Lord in perfection constantly. There are going to be times when you don't put Him first and she'll have her share.

Putting God first is a 24/7 thing. Yes there's going to be times where we fail at doing that and walking it out and there's going to be times where each other sin, however, the main thrust of life for a Christian is Christ and following after Him. When God is the first in all things then when the other person has a failing the response will be grace, patience, love, compassion and mercy. If the person fails at this then because God is first both parties will rely upon Him in order to resolve whatever is the issue. Nowhere did I come close to suggesting that it's necessary for partners to walk in perfection of character. It's all about the disposition of the heart towards Christ which determines the difficulty of the relationship. We're all going to fail at points but that's a given in any relationship, it's the nature of the failure, it's consequences, it's severity and how it is overcome that change when God is first for both parties.

Edit: By deleting my initial post I was actually trying to avoid getting into a discussion about this because it can be very hard to navigate due to there being a lot of generalisations assumed and made on both ends of the discussion (which can cause stumbling blocks as this topic can be very painful for some people). The truth is that because people are varied and unique both in their persons and situations or circumstances they find themselves in, there's not really a one size fits all response to any points. For example, what could apply to 99% of the population and may be on average a fantastic rule of thumb/principle, may not personally apply to me (not just me but someone else too; I'm just using me as an example) due to experiences I've had that the general population on average hasn't experienced, and vice versa. My point about both parties putting God first before their partners was a general one and is one that everyone should try to have as a default setting if you are a Christian imo. And though I believe it solves an overwhelming majority of potential problems to do with relationships, there is still the fallen human element that exists which is different for every person. I'm not trying to argue that away at all nor trivialise it.

 

[bèlla]

Yeah I'm not discounting this being the case. My only point is that when God is first in all things that everything else falls into place, that if that's in place and God is in the relationship so to speak, then you can have a kind of surety regarding everything that's unavailable to the world.

I suspect our differences in wiring influences our communication on the subject. But I understand what you're saying.

I've spoken about agape in the past. I can expound on the subject and tell you what it means. But that's not the same as sharing a 20 year connection where we've walked it out and the lessons we've learned. Made more compelling when both parties are present.

The second is more concrete because I've lived it. I don't think I can I know. In like fashion, I wouldn't say things would fall in place relationally by putting God first unless I've done it.

My faith is grounded in knowing. If I believe it I have to put action behind it. I'm not testing God. I'm testing myself.

~bella

 

[Tranquil Bondservant]

The second is more concrete because I've lived it. I don't think I can I know. In like fashion, I wouldn't say things would fall in place relationally by putting God first unless I've done it.

My faith is grounded in knowing. If I believe it I have to put action behind it. I'm not testing God. I'm testing myself.

~bella

Someone may have suffered something as a second hand victim which gave them insight into the deeper necessity for God to be the focus and how having that in place would have effected a relationship. E.g., a parent committing heinous sin which leads to the destruction of a family. That person has lived it the same as you and would have grown up in the negative consequences, so their faith would also be grounded in experiential knowledge (which isn't the only form of knowledge or knowing; e.g., it's true the spiritual realm exists independent of belief or experience & therefore you can be correct in regards to its existence independent of experience). That was the point of my edit, there's no one size fits all answer because there's just far too many variables.

 

[timewerx]

Well, after all, ‘theology’ by definition = religious theory. It’s manmade. I was never led to get into any of that either..so many different teachings; so many different beliefs. This is what happens when academia is used to interpret scripture rather than the Spirit and it’s anointing (1 John 2:27) and when the ‘church’ so-called is no longer limited to God’s ekklesia, those called out by Him, set apart for His cause, but anyone. That’s part of the business model though..higher numbers, more billions. The ‘educated’ ‘theologian’ types conveniently ignore what the Lord Jesus Christ said about spiritual truths;

“At that time Jesus answered and said, I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes.”
—Matthew 11:25

And here is what Paul said,

“For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty;”
—1 Corinthians 1:26-27

“Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.”
—Colossians 2:8

The modern religious system is all about theologies, rites, rituals, holidays. As it was, it will be again (Ecclesiastes 1:9).

“I hate, I despise your feast days, and I will not smell in your solemn assemblies. Though ye offer me burnt offerings and your meat offerings, I will not accept them: neither will I regard the peace offerings of your fat beasts. Take thou away from me the noise of thy songs; for I will not hear the melody of thy viols. But let judgment run down as waters, and righteousness as a mighty stream.”
—Amos 5:21-24

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: because thou hast rejected knowledge, I will also reject thee, that thou shalt be no priest to me: seeing thou hast forgotten the law of thy God, I will also forget thy children.”
—Hosea 4:6

“Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men:”
—Isaiah 29:13

“Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying, This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoureth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me. But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.”
—Matthew 15:7-9

Like you say, we will all be wrong at times, we will still have fleshly struggles. What matters is, who is willing to admit when they are wrong, allow for the Holy Spirit to convict and cause for them to repent of their false ways? Most people only get triggered. They hold dear their manmade traditions and lies, but God is to be worshipped in spirit and in truth (John 4:24).

“Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake.”
—Luke 6:22

People forget, passages like Matthew 7:20-24 and Matthew 25:44-46 describe people who believe. They probably all pride themselves on their religious theology while forgetting Galatians 5:14. But in the corrupt religious system, love thy neighbor only applies when thy neighbor unquestioningly complies. Yet Jesus never attempted to impose His will on anyone. He just told the truth, take it or leave it.

It sounds like I passed your litmus test of scriptures.

I was indeed talking about my experiences with the Holy Spirit and the Lord, not just knowledge of scriptures.

In fact, I didn't know/remember some of verses you quoted there and feel like I'm just reading them for the first time.

The Holy Spirit taught me many things. One of the most destructive biases of all is the bias of self-preservation. If you wish to save your life, then anyone can make you believe a lie if it will save yours. I'm not just talking about our fleshly bodies but also the desire to save our souls to have eternal life.

You will believe anything that promises eternal life and having the least bit of sense.

Matthew 16:25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.

I'm not saying that eternal life is bad or does not exist. I'm just saying eternal life shouldn't become your god. Eternal life shouldn't have a place higher than God in your heart. Same thing as hell. You shouldn't fear hell more than God.

As I've said earlier, the Lord will not tell you anything you are not ready to receive, things you do not wish to seek, and things you do not suspect to be lies.

Many Christians say the Lord doesn't talk to them, it's not their gift. But the fact is they just don't care enough about the truth. They care just enough to save their soul but not go all the way through and start asking real, hard-hitting questions to the Lord. In fact, I can't even write examples of these questions as they might break forum rules but you probably know what these questions are. The Lord will not get insulted. What insults the Lord is when you care more about worldly things than seeking the truth.

 

[bèlla]

That was the point of my edit, there's no one size fits all answer because there's just far too many variables.

The OP pertains to relationships which requires agency. My references follow suit. When I speak of experience in that context I mean things we've done as adults. I never reference childhood. It's a mixed bag and it's easier to address the subject from a similar starting point.

Nevertheless, you don't have to delete your post and I hope you won't going forward. Every contribution matters. It may not hit a note with the participants but we're not the only readers and you may say something that blesses them.

~bella

 

[GodBeMercifulToMeASinner]

It sounds like I passed your litmus test of scriptures.

I was indeed talking about my experiences with the Holy Spirit and the Lord, not just knowledge of scriptures.

In fact, I didn't know/remember some of verses you quoted there and feel like I'm just reading them for the first time.

The Holy Spirit taught me many things. One of the most destructive biases of all is the bias of self-preservation. If you wish to save your life, then anyone can make you believe a lie if it will save yours. I'm not just talking about our fleshly bodies but also the desire to save our souls to have eternal life.

You will believe anything that promises eternal life and having the least bit of sense.

Matthew 16:25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.

I'm not saying that eternal life is bad or does not exist. I'm just saying eternal life shouldn't become your god. Eternal life shouldn't have a place higher than God in your heart. Same thing as hell. You shouldn't fear hell more than God.

As I've said earlier, the Lord will not tell you anything you are not ready to receive, things you do not wish to seek, and things you do not suspect to be lies.

Many Christians say the Lord doesn't talk to them, it's not their gift. But the fact is they just don't care enough about the truth. They care just enough to save their soul but not go all the way through and start asking real, hard-hitting questions to the Lord. In fact, I can't even write examples of these questions as they might break forum rules but you probably know what these questions are. The Lord will not get insulted. What insults the Lord is when you care more about worldly things than seeking the truth.

Now that you mention it, the scriptures are anti-self preservation. Christ demonstrated that in the ultimate way at Calvary of course. And what you will see a lot among disciples of the modern religious system is they believe God is blessing them because they’ve acquired some sort of worldly gain, meanwhile they aren’t even doing what Christ said, keeping His commandments listed in Matthew Chapters 5-7, and Matthew 22:36-40. Their primary focus in life is self-indulgent pursuits such as material gain, entertainment, fun, doing hobbies, ‘your best life now’ as the New Age movement/psychology preaches. That is the law of the Baal system. The ‘do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law’ Aleister Crowley doctrine.

The religious system is founded on the traditions and doctrines of men and overtime becomes more permissive towards the elements of the Baal system. The truth is, God could care less about religious traditions, rites, and rituals. In fact; He actually hates them. As it once was, it will be again (Ecclesiastes 1:9).

“Bring no more vain oblations; incense is an abomination unto me; the new moons and sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I cannot away with; it is iniquity, even the solemn meeting. Your new moons and your appointed feasts my soul hateth: they are a trouble unto me; I am weary to bear them. And when ye spread forth your hands, I will hide mine eyes from you: yea, when ye make many prayers, I will not hear: your hands are full of blood. Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil; Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow.”
—Isaiah 1:13-17

The last part of that passage is what truly matters to God, not religious building attendance, rites, and traditions.

“Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.”
—James 1:27

So here we are today, the modern religious system is worth many many billions, likely trillions because the wealth of some religious organizations is not even known due to all the prestigious properties they’ve accumulated and lack of transparency. There would not be a single hungry or homeless person on earth if the religious system really was about what the Bible teaches, with the prodigious wealth it has amassed.

Meanwhile, the pagan and secular governments in the west are doing more for the afflicted than the religious system. That says it all. The last part of James 1:27 = ‘remain unspotted from the world’ = untainted by the world’s evil influence. But today there’s really no difference between the world and the modern building-based religious system. They all want the same things as the world. Even celebrate the pagan holidays with the world. True worship of God is defined in James 1:27, not attending a religious building once a week..on Sunday morning of all times.

“How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.”
—Isaiah 14:12-14

Interesting the meaning of ‘the north’ as it pertains to that passage. ‘Hidden’, ‘darkness’.

“Confounded be all they that serve graven images, that boast themselves of idols: worship him, all ye gods.”
—Psalm 97:7

“Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?”
—1 Corinthians 11:4

“Every man is brutish by his knowledge; every founder is confounded by the graven image: for his molten image is falsehood, and there is no breath in them. They are vanity, the work of errors: in the time of their visitation they shall perish.”
—Jeremiah 51:17-18
—Exodus 20:4-6

As it was, it will be again. You’re right, most people don’t care about the truth, even though God is to be worshipped in spirit and in truth (John 4:24). Many are more focused on a fun worldly life, fitting in, their traditions and religious systems, ‘the creation’ rather than the creator...changing the truth of God into a lie (Romans 1:25). A custom ‘jesus’ who conforms to the traditions of men. Distorting the scriptures to align with manmade systems. There’s no better example than that of a verse like Matthew 23:9, so easy to see. But Christ’s commandment doesn’t ‘fit’ with the modern religious system and it’s ‘fathers’. So you’ll have disciples of the system relying on carnal ways like academia to try and claim Christ was referring to blood relations, in a passage where He was clearly referring to roles of spiritual leadership as evidenced by the surrounding verses (Rabbi, Matthew 23:8, Master, Matthew 23:10) as well as the content of the entire chapter. When things don’t align with the narrative, some will make false accusations of hypocrisy or relying on semantics..accusing others of doing exactly what they are doing. Gaslighting and projection 101. Can’t waste time on such people. Paul made it clear how to deal with unrepentant sinful people who claim to be of Christ in 1 Corinthians 5. But there’s always a place for such folks in the pews, because empty seats don’t hand over offerings and tithes.

As you say, many are only concerned with self-preservation. Eternal bliss and hopefully some worldly prosperity and a feeling of security and belonging in the meantime. That is what keeps the pews full and the billions if not trillions of dollars flowing in. But the truth is all about God and His fight against spiritual wickedness, which has likely been going on long before man even existed. Most people want no part in that fight, it would surely interfere with their fun time and prosperity. They’d rather just play it safe and have faith that the system is legitimate. So the truth isn’t about man or their desire for a get out of hell free card (free of Godly sorrow and repentance of course) the truth is about God’s glory and His victory over spiritual wickedness. Man just has a choice on whom they will serve, on whom they will have Faith (trust) in. The Creator, the creation, self, or a combination of the last 2.