• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

Dumbest Jokes of All Time

Jump to latest Follow Reply
Sort by date Sort by votes

Presbyterian Continuist

Senior Veteran
Site Supporter
Mar 28, 2005
21,968
10,837
77
Christchurch New Zealand
Visit site
✟867,272.00
Country
New Zealand
Gender
Male
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
Married

The Difference Between Republicans and Democrats​

A woman in a hot-air balloon is lost, so she shouts to a man below, "Excuse me. I promised a friend I would meet him, but I don’t know where I am."

"You’re at 31 degrees, 14.57 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude," he replies.

"You must be a Democrat."<br>
"I am. How did you know?"

"Because everything you told me is technically correct, but the information is useless, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve been no help."

"You must be a Republican."

"Yes. How did you know?"

"You’ve risen to where you are due to a lot of hot air, you made a promise you couldn’t keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault."
 
Reactions: AlexB23 and Michie
Upvote 0

Presbyterian Continuist

Senior Veteran
Site Supporter
Mar 28, 2005
21,968
10,837
77
Christchurch New Zealand
Visit site
✟867,272.00
Country
New Zealand
Gender
Male
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
Married
A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
“What was that for?” he asked.
“That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,” she replied.
“Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on,” he explained.
“Oh honey, I’m sorry,” she said. “I should have known there was a good explanation.”
Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, “What in the world was that for?”
She replied, “Your horse called.”
 
Reactions: Michie and One God and Father of All
Upvote 0

Presbyterian Continuist

Senior Veteran
Site Supporter
Mar 28, 2005
21,968
10,837
77
Christchurch New Zealand
Visit site
✟867,272.00
Country
New Zealand
Gender
Male
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
Married
A man established a zoo and made the entrance fee $300 but no one went there. He reduced it to $200 but still no one came.
He then reduced the fee to 10$ but still people didn't come.
Finally, he made it FREE entrance and soon, the zoo was filled with people. Then he quietly locked the gate of the zoo, set the lions free and made the exit fee $500 and everyone paid!
 
Reactions: Michie
Upvote 0

Presbyterian Continuist

Senior Veteran
Site Supporter
Mar 28, 2005
21,968
10,837
77
Christchurch New Zealand
Visit site
✟867,272.00
Country
New Zealand
Gender
Male
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
Married
A pastor went to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after getting his teeth, he preached for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 10 minutes. But the following Sunday, he preached nonstop for nearly three hours... until the congregation realized he couldn't quit, and finally helped him sit down. Concerned for his health, they asked, "Are you Okay? What happened?" The pastor explained, "Well, the first Sunday with my new teeth, my gums were so sore I couldn't preach longer than 8 minutes. The second Sunday, I felt I could go a little longer to 10 minutes. But, today, I mistakenly put my wife's teeth in, and discovered I couldn't shut up."
 
Reactions: Michie
Upvote 0

Presbyterian Continuist

Senior Veteran
Site Supporter
Mar 28, 2005
21,968
10,837
77
Christchurch New Zealand
Visit site
✟867,272.00
Country
New Zealand
Gender
Male
Faith
Charismatic
Marital Status
Married
Mildred, the church gossip and self appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing! Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house ... Walked home... And left it there all night. You gotta love Frank!
 
Reactions: Michie
Upvote 0
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Hunter Biden suggests Ambien contributed to Joe Biden’s poor debate performance
Replies
12
Views
670
News & Current Events (Articles Required)
wing2000
Is this blasphemous?
Replies
7
Views
399
Requests for Christian Advice
Godcrazy
The outpouring of the Holy Spirit?
Replies
0
Views
235
Pentecostal & Assemblies of God
PatrickTate
Jesus’ Good Samaritan Parable-Who is One’s Neighbor?
Replies
3
Views
632
Christian Scriptures
public hermit
Intelligence is seeking life’s true meaning, not having reams of data, pope says
Replies
2
Views
204
One Bread, One Body - Catholic
Bob Crowley
Menu
Log in
Register