Dumbest Jokes of All Time

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I think this thread has become insulting to the misfortune of others, the sad, the elderly, let's see, how about the handicap and the disabled. The list goes on. Don't forget ethnic.

Oh yes! The ethnic. How do you brainwash a Kiwi New Zealander?
Fill up his gumboots with water.

How do you brainwash someone who comes on to these joke threads and refuses to see the humour in the jokes?
Sit him on a bidet and turn on the tap.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I have been told that I am the only one laughing at my Trump joke. Is that true? Let me know in the "likes".

 

[Michie]

I have been told that I am the only one laughing at my Trump joke. Is that true? Let me know in the "likes".

I laughed. It looks like AI did it.

 

[Michie]

Q: Do you know the difference between wallpaper and toilet paper?

A: No, what?

Q: (exasperated gasp) So, you're the one!

 

[Michie]

And the Lord said to John 'Come
forth, and you will receive eternal life'

But John came fifth, and won a toaster.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Delilah's father came to Samson and said, "My daughter is pregnant. What steps are you going to take?"
Samson: "Great big ones as far away as I can get!"

 

[Michie]

WHAT DO YOU CALL A PIG THAT DOES
KARATE?

A PORK CHOP.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

What is yellow and always points North?
A magnetic banana.
What is purple and hums?
An atomic prune.
What is green and climbs mountains?
Sir Edmund Celery

 

[Michie]

I was a bookkeeper for 10 years. The local library wasn't too happy about it.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

A chicken crossed the road and went into the library. The librarian asked, "What do you want?" The chicken replied, "Buk, buk, buk!"

A frog was there as well and when the librarian handed him a book he said, "Redit, redit, redit!"

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

The chicken crossed the road softly because he couldn't walk hardly. The hedgehog crossed the road to show he had guts and to find his flatmate.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snow storm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I replaced my rooster with a duck.
Now I wake up at the quack of dawn!

 

[Michie]

Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?"
Student: "Meat!"
Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?"
Student: "Bacon!"
Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?"
Student: "Homework!"

 

[Michie]

What is the best way to criticize your boss?

Very quietly, so he cannot hear you.

 

[Michie]

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[Michie]

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[Presbyterian Continuist]

A Little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her.
After following along for a while, turns to her and asks,
"Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?"
"NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking.
The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks,
"Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."
"NO!" says the little girl again as she hurries down the street.
The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says,
"Okay kid, my last offer! I'll give you 20 Bucks "and" a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride."
Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and Screams Out...
"Look Dad" "You're the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley... YOU RIDE IT!!".......

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

When God confronted Adam about eating the forbidden fruit, he blamed Eve. Eve blamed the snake, and the snake didn't have a leg to stand on.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Bought a can of fly spray from the store. Sprayed it all over myself.
Still can't fly...