Do you want to get better?

[ritlin]

I'm new to this forum. I was diagnosed with major depression 3 years ago. Meds have helped, but it has never been totally relieved. I can function at work, but I dread every other minute of life. I isolate myself from my family, and I have pushed all my friends away (what few I had). One major problem- I am stuck, fearful but safe, in the depression. I can't find the desire for anything- even to get better. Everything I read is about how to or wanting to get better. I want to want this, but I have no feelings or emotions. The only thing that keeps me going is not wanting to hurt my kids. But I know I am hurting them more by not taking the leap of faith. How do I find the desire, motivation, energy and a friend to help me get better?

 

[Everlasting33]

I'm new to this forum. I was diagnosed with major depression 3 years ago. Meds have helped, but it has never been totally relieved. I can function at work, but I dread every other minute of life. I isolate myself from my family, and I have pushed all my friends away (what few I had). One major problem- I am stuck, fearful but safe, in the depression. I can't find the desire for anything- even to get better. Everything I read is about how to or wanting to get better. I want to want this, but I have no feelings or emotions. The only thing that keeps me going is not wanting to hurt my kids. But I know I am hurting them more by not taking the leap of faith. How do I find the desire, motivation, energy and a friend to help me get better?

First off, welcome to CF! This a great forum for support, encouragement, and friendship!

Depression can be very painful! You must feel quite confused and frustrated with depression. You may be feeling like you hate the illness, but yet you cannot let it go. Or maybe you just feel "comfortable" within depression because you feel its just a part of you that you need to accept. Depression really does feel like a character flaw...it just feels inborn and it can be hard to seperate you and the mental illness.

Do you have a counselor? Do you keep weekly goals? Do you exercise? Do you frequently engage in your hobbies?
Many of these may relieve the symptoms of depression.

Also, finding the motivation to overcome depression is one of the hardest tasks to accomplish. My personal recommendation would be to try daily goals. Daily goals have helped me overcome my slow recovery of depression because it builds self-confidence, productivity, self-efficacy (the belief that one can master a situation effectively), and a sense of accomplishment.

I will highly suggest daily goals, if you haven't already.

Don't give up on your fight against depression. Remember you will have your days of discouragement and disappointment, but expect victory and it will come to you!!

 

[spoiltbrat2003]

I think everyone here wants to get better for sure, Though we have all lost heart at some stage and just given up completely..
Guess we're all on Gods "To do" list and in the meantime we have to ease our own pain and find ways to cope with what we have.

I don't think anyone here even the recovered would say getting over depression is easy its like somethings holding you hostage...
Many of us talk and vent on here because it is very very hard to trust those who have no idea what real depression is about and seem to run a mile at the sign of a down day.

You will find peer support here its good to know people know what your going through and that it is all possible,
I suppose the one thing with motivation is to keep telling yourself it is acheiveable because it is

Oh and the above post is an amazing one and great advice I even have a special goals journal that I carry with me in real life to prove to myself theres things and dreams to chase after

 

[jsimms615]

I'm new to this forum. I was diagnosed with major depression 3 years ago. Meds have helped, but it has never been totally relieved. I can function at work, but I dread every other minute of life. I isolate myself from my family, and I have pushed all my friends away (what few I had). One major problem- I am stuck, fearful but safe, in the depression. I can't find the desire for anything- even to get better. Everything I read is about how to or wanting to get better. I want to want this, but I have no feelings or emotions. The only thing that keeps me going is not wanting to hurt my kids. But I know I am hurting them more by not taking the leap of faith. How do I find the desire, motivation, energy and a friend to help me get better?

Hi ritlin,
You have come to a good place for support. there are alot of people on here including myself that battle with depression. I've had problems with it since I was about 14 and I am now 39. I would just suggest to you that you ask God to give you the faith and strength to want help and leave it at that for now. I don't know if your going to any kind of therapy, but I have found that even a few visits at times can help. I wish you the best. If you want to talk just private message me and I'll try to help if I can.

 

[Moana]

Yes, I want this to be over with.

 

[ArmouredSaint]

I think I wallow in this and it makes me feel better because my ex gf is gone. I don't know how to help myself.I am such a loser at times and don't want help. I have this other side that doesn't want to end up like my father all wasted and crazy.
I know a doc told me if you wanna be better then you put your mind to it and positive renforcement takes over. I can't see this if you have a chem imbalance.The brain can't do what the brain won't allow.

 

[BigToe]

How do you get the desire to want to get better? I don't know. I go through periods where I feel my depression is normal, it is what is comfortable because it is what I know. To get rid of it would be sort of unstable. But then I glimpse a moment of happiness and see how much better it feels to be happy, even if just for a little while.

 

[catlover]

First off, welcome to CF! This a great forum for support, encouragement, and friendship!

Depression can be very painful! You must feel quite confused and frustrated with depression. You may be feeling like you hate the illness, but yet you cannot let it go. Or maybe you just feel "comfortable" within depression because you feel its just a part of you that you need to accept. Depression really does feel like a character flaw...it just feels inborn and it can be hard to seperate you and the mental illness.

Do you have a counselor? Do you keep weekly goals? Do you exercise? Do you frequently engage in your hobbies?
Many of these may relieve the symptoms of depression.

Also, finding the motivation to overcome depression is one of the hardest tasks to accomplish. My personal recommendation would be to try daily goals. Daily goals have helped me overcome my slow recovery of depression because it builds self-confidence, productivity, self-efficacy (the belief that one can master a situation effectively), and a sense of accomplishment.

I will highly suggest daily goals, if you haven't already.

Don't give up on your fight against depression. Remember you will have your days of discouragement and disappointment, but expect victory and it will come to you!!

Ritlin welcome to the forum!


Steelbred.
The daily goals are good point.

The only thing is, my concentration has flown out the door and I absolutely needs to study for psychobiology.

 

[RuthD]

I'm new to this forum. I was diagnosed with major depression 3 years ago. Meds have helped, but it has never been totally relieved. I can function at work, but I dread every other minute of life. I isolate myself from my family, and I have pushed all my friends away (what few I had). One major problem- I am stuck, fearful but safe, in the depression. I can't find the desire for anything- even to get better. Everything I read is about how to or wanting to get better. I want to want this, but I have no feelings or emotions. The only thing that keeps me going is not wanting to hurt my kids. But I know I am hurting them more by not taking the leap of faith. How do I find the desire, motivation, energy and a friend to help me get better?

I am in the same boat. I live with depression constantly and have no desire to do anything much. I feel like a failure a lot of the time. I have lost interest in everything and don't care much about it either. I watch tv to get my mind off of myself so I watch a lot of it. I don't have the answer for you, just wanted you to know you are not alone in how you feel. God bless!

 

[anunbeliever]

One major problem- I am stuck, fearful but safe, in the depression. I can't find the desire for anything- even to get better. Everything I read is about how to or wanting to get better. I want to want this, but I have no feelings or emotions.

What you describe is just a major symptom of depression. You dont want to get better BECAUSE you are depressed. Its a mental illness. Just do what you have to do, and when its under control, you'll thank yourself.

 

[Silent Enigma]

^ Good post.

For me, depression comes in little bursts, for a day or two. Then I'm good for a couple of days and then it's back. So there is plenty of contrast to compare it to, so I definitely feel like getting rid of it.

But I know the feeling of the perpetual weight dragging you down as well. You don't feel like doing anything. And it's different than laziness (as some people allege) because you don't even feel like doing things you enjoy.