Do You Want Kids?

[Citanul]

I lean very strongly towards not having kids, although I'm not completely against the idea, especially when I hear other people talk about theirs and it makes me wonder whether I might be missing out if I were never to have them.

The main reason is that kids are a huge responsibility - you now have the task of looking after and shaping the life of another human being from its beginning. That's an incredibly daunting task, and I just don't know that I'd be up to it, especially given all the things that you hear that kids are faced with these days. I suppose having that fear might not necessarily be a bad thing as it could push me to do a good job, but it still puts me off the idea of having them.

There's also the age factor to consider. Men can continue to have children as they get older, but it obviously becomes an issue for women. While it's not at that point yet, the longer I remain single, the bigger the age gap would need to be for there to be a realistic chance of children, and I'm not sure just how big an age gap I'd be comfortable with.

 

[Citanul]

I won't go that far until I'm engaged, and my future wife and I have had a chance to talk it over. Unless my mind was changed, I'd get the procedure done well in advance of the wedding, so we wouldn't come back from our honeymoon with any new surprises.

That would probably be the route I'd take. There's no real point in me having a vasectomy now, and even though I don't think that I want kids I don't want to completely rule out the possibility too early.

 

[Cearbhall]

I do, but absolutely not from my own loins.

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

I already have 3 boys...

And it's tough, mostly the worrying about them :-/ but then the love they give you is rewarding. Though my oldest is going into the teenage stage, so come back to me on that one.

I don't feel my freedom has been stolen from me or anything, obviously, I need to make arrangements for them and not chained to the house, I don't know its different, your whole life changes so much. I had my youngest when I was 20, I now can't remember being a mum!

But then I am also not defined as a mum, they are my world but not my whole world if that makes sense.

I doubt i would have anymore now, my youngest is 8, and to go all the way back to the baby stage gives me the fear lol

 

[BlueAshSky]

Some day I would love to start a family but i think i have plenty of time left to get my own life in order and by then hopefully God will introduce me to my future husband.

 

[Paulie079]

^That is a good summary of my outlook too actually. I'm working on myself quite a bit right now, and I know there will come a point when I'm ready to pursue a relationship/marriage and have a family. I sometimes wish it could have been earlier, but hey, the gameflow of my life went another direction so it is the way it is. I'm really of the attitude that I don't to sit around and wait for someone to come into my life. I want to be intentional and get out and meet people. It's more just that I feel I need to get my house in order first.

 

[Multifavs]

No. I've never really liked being around babies, and with my sensitive hearing and struggles with anxiety and all, I don't think I could handle being a mother. I'll be really lucky if I even find the right guy to marry.

Who knows, maybe my outlook will change at some point, though I'm not expecting it to. I'm happy with being single, though!

 

[Travelers.Soul]

I love kids and would like some of my own but I am completely okay with adopting.

 

[SarahsKnight]

What about you?

Are you serious? Can you imagine little Sarah's Knights having free reign to run about this planet? Whether it be the son or daughter version of me?

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Are you serious? Can you imagine little Sarah's Knights having free reign to run about this planet? Whether it be the son or daughter version of me?

Lol I think the same thing

 

[Miss Spaulding]

I've been a 'late bloomer' in a lot of different things, so it's no surprise to me that I'm still single at this time and still don't feel that maternal instinct and desire to have babies just yet. I think I'm meant to just achieve certain milestones in life at a later time than most people, and there's nothing wrong with this. I used to think there was something wrong with me, but now I've accepted it.

Like I said earlier, I love the prospect of being a mother, just not now. I would be perfectly happy to start a family in the 38-42 age range.

 

[Saucy]

This is not, in any way, intended to sound like judgment, but I'm sort of surprised by the number of people who don't want kids. And from other threads, who don't want to get married or don't plan to. Some are still really young and have totally given up on the idea of marriage/kids for various reasons.

Does this have more to do with the times we're in today? People have less interest and time for commitments?

 

[Miss Spaulding]

^I do think that the times we live in, the pressures of today's society, and the overall lack of commitment to relationships, let alone marriage, are definitely some of the key reasons for it.

*I know there are also reasons, like health and financial problems for example.*

I'm not sure how I view peoples' reasoning behind the "Bring kids into this world in this day in age with all its problems? No way." ...I get it, but I also know that every century has been seriously messed up with its own horrible issues, and yet people chose family and carried on.

 

[Hieronymus]

No i don't want kids, i think i don't even want a wife.
Life is hard enough as it is.

 

[SarahsKnight]

Lol I think the same thing

But, more seriously, I do not think I am meant to. Recently the Holy Spirit has revealed to me that I am not. Which would nean, of course, that the list of potential wives grows ever shorter, even these days when not as many women appear to have the desire to be mothers. I suppose it could always change later on down the road somewhere, as I am open to the possibilty that the Spirit has it planned all along to change however and whenever He sees fit after certain life events, perhaps. Much like how I was changed forever, in ways i can't even seem to relate to other people in words, from my period of mental and emotional sickness five years ago. But for now, His answer is a pretty definitive no.

Not sure how I feel about that, really. Sometimes little kids really annoy me, sometimes I seem to be fond of them. And sometimes they even seem to think of me as this "cool" older brother figure who can keep them entertained and has the all the answers in life. ^-^

 

[SarahsKnight]

No i don't want kids, i think i don't even want a wife.
Life is hard enough as it is.

As idealistic a mind as I try to keep towards love, even I must admit this is still true. Life can get difficult enough for most people on their own without them taking on the added responsibility. Unfortunate, but true.

 

[Paulie079]

Will this change any of y'all's minds?

 

[TheGirlOnFire]

Wanting kids or not and have nothing to do with getting married. Many people want to get married but just don't want to have kids, and there is nothing wrong with that. It is a personal choice.

Also, people choosing not to get married is again not a lack of commitment in their life, they will put their commitment someone where else.

None of these things shows a lack of commitment. Its people are making choices that are better for them, rather than society telling them what they should do, nothing worse being in a relationship because you've been socially pressured into it. Some people make bad partners that is a fact and some people make bad parents, I think some people are making the right choices for them. (Not saying anyone here is either of those things, but you get what i mean)

Love isn't about marriage or even sex.... society makes us think that... Love is so much more.

 

[sundewgrower]

With my future spouse being Chinese (don't tell her--Hong Kong she'd say) and myself Caucasian I'd really like kids--I like kids because I'm one of seven and I find the idea of such kids rather attractive. She wants two in her late twenties or early 30s--being the only kid and me being of a bazillion of them I think that's a good idea.

If we can't have any I've always joked about adopting a kid which totally doesn't fit the profile (I think borrowing one would be funny--plus a hidden camera) Realistically if we can't have I'd like a Batak kid because I can, and likely a Chinese one as well.

Likely we'll be part of a church in town which is literally 99% Chinese (as her comfort is important and I am fine in such a church) and so it's best to have mixed kids or adopt ones which sort of match as honestly it's weird being me.. All considered I don't mind but just for some reason don't find Caucasian kids as "interesting" and always found others more so...

Some don't want kids and others want tons. I want to enjoy marriage for 5-6 years before the kids, and keep it simple as I see how hard 7 is for my folks.

 

[frettr00]

I have never wanted kids and I'm 35 now so I don't see that changing any time soon.