Do you parent your children like your parents did?

[OracleX]

Is how your raise your children like what your parents were like with you? Or do you take a different approach? Or is it a mixure of the two?

I have been finding it almost scary at times how similar I raise my daughter compared to how my father raised me. Little querky things that he use to do I find myself doing.

For me I try to take the best things they did and add to them. Take the things that I didn't like and learn from them. Try to follow their examples of successful parenting and avoid and do better on the no so good examples.

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

I'm same as you, I try not to be exactly like my folks were but I find I'm more like em then not, an I do the same thin, try an take the bes of both worlds as it were. Doubt I'm doin a good job of it though, but my wife adds her side to mine which is a mixture of her folks an mine and we sorta come up with our own style. The biggest thin my wife keeps me in check bout is I relate everthin to animals, drives er nuts, but she see's how I relate them an come up with my ideas an the like (least I think she does, when she's not hangin her head in shame or rollin er eyes at me LOL) I do use alot of my dad's economy with thins to... though when I was a kid I jes got screwed over in that system, so I'm hopin to revise it a bit to teach... an yet not screw my kids over hehehe

 

[HeatherJay]

Is how your raise your children like what your parents were like with you? Or do you take a different approach? Or is it a mixure of the two?

I have been finding it almost scary at times how similar I raise my daughter compared to how my father raised me. Little querky things that he use to do I find myself doing.

For me I try to take the best things they did and add to them. Take the things that I didn't like and learn from them. Try to follow their examples of successful parenting and avoid and do better on the no so good examples.

Me, too, for the most part. Well, my parents divorced when i was 5, but even before the divorce my dad was rarely at home (if you know what I'm saying). We lived with my grandmother, so she had a big part in raising me.

My mom's good examples :
She was extremely patient and even tempered. And even when she was mad, she was still very kind. I can't ever remember getting a real spanking from her...she would swat us on the bottom every now and then, but that's about it. She was one of those mothers who would let us know how disappointed she was in us...and then she'd guilt us into behaving ourselves, lol.

Her bad examples :
She was gone a lot. She was a waitress in a bar for a while as a second job (she worked at a factory during the day), and I remember missing her a lot. There were times when I just wanted to know that she was close by, but a lot of times she wasn't. That made me pretty sad as a child. I remember lying in bed awake well after midnight, waiting for her car to pull in the driveway. Then, later on she got a boyfriend who was a trucker, and the nights when he was not on the road, she'd spend the night at his house. That made me miss her even more, and I resented him for taking her away from me.

All in all, my grandmother was a really strong influence in my life. She really took on the 'mother' role, more than my mom did. But all in all, I knew that I was extremely loved and cared for.

But, because of my childhood, it's made me realize just how important it is to BE with your kids, and one of the driving reasons that I always wanted to be a stay at home mom.

 

[bliz]

We do some things the same, but we do other things very differently. It becomes very interesting, especially since my husband had a very different upbringing than I did. Sometimes I hear my mother's or father's words coming out of my mouth - most unnerving! Other times, they were such perfect words I am so glad that I get to use them to. One of my favorite Mom lines... "I am so glad that God lent you to me for a little while."

 

[RedTulipMom]

Well i have a 16 yr old son and i have to say i parented him nothing like my parents parented me. I was much more lenient on him. I spoiled him WAY too much. I wasn't consistent enough with him. I adopted him when i was only 19 and i just didnt really know what to do. I got divorced when he was 5 and i think the years as a single mom took a toll on me and him. I tried to overcompensate for his dad not being there. Looking back theres LOTS i wish i did different. Luckily for me i have a chance to do it all over because God has blessed me with another little boy and he is now 9 mos old. I am remarried. My husband had a very stable upbringing. I have learned alot about parenting over the years and know what i did wrong with my first one. And the funny thing is..after alll is said and done, i WILL be parenting this second one alot more the way i was parented, minus a few things i feel my parents didnt do the best job at!! lol
karen

 

[Melbelle]

Well some ways yes I do but some ways no I don't, I started out raisin gmy son in church where my parents didn't, they would send me to church with my grandparents just so they could have the place to there self. But some things I really like the way the handled us.

 

[Andry]

I was raised in a military home. So in short, yes and no.

The values instilled by my parents are the same I try to instill with my son. But the methods have changed dramatically. Also, as my parents had 4 other siblings to contend with, and my dad was away months at a time, there was very little room or tolerance for 'goofing off' - which I now afford my son plenty of (but within limits of course).

 

[brokenbananas]

Both my husband and I grew up in very dysfunctional homes. In my home there was no mercy, grace, forgiveness, tolerance, fun. In my husband's home, there was lack of structure, discipline, boundaries. Neither homes were Christian homes, but we were both allowed to learn about God fortunately.

We try to provide lots of love with good boundaries. There is mercy, forgiveness, tolerance, and lots of fun. Other than hard work, we try to really set good boundaries, have God at the center of our marriage & household.

We're raising our children pretty different than our parents. We also spend a lot of time as a couple and family together, things which our own parents did not do with us.

 

[Mags94]

I would say yes to the strict part of parenting..... you know don't behave like that, don't touch that it doesn't belong to you, etc. I just got married and my wife already has two beautiful kids and I'm hard on them but that's because I don't want them to go and act a fool in private or public...to conduct themselves like they have common sense. We don't spank them until they have drawn the final straw and for the most part I just direct them to where their toys and clothes should go and I make sure I get their attention. I have yet to spank them and I hope that I don't have to but its coming. My mom thinks I'm hard on them but when I was growing up I was spanked and called ugly names so what right do they have to say how I raise my kids if they didn't show me that leniency?

 

[Leah52805]

There are things that I promised myself I would never do.... but find myself doing. I promised that I would try to be the cool mom that never embarrassed her kid or was over-protective. Ha! I'm sure that I will probably be worse than my parents were. There are things that I hope to adhere to... I don't want to yell unless it is serious, like, FIRE or LOOK OUT! I don't want to baby him until he is 30. I want to be a part of his life and be involved in his schooling. I want to find out what makes him tick and encourage him. I want to be stern but loving so he can trust me. I want to be someone he can count on when the going gets tough, hug when he needs comfort, and just be there when he needs to be left alone. I know I am living in a fantasy world, but I hope to accomplish some of these things!

 

[Jeff.Krahn]

I always thought it was necessary, growing up, that when ever I would have children to have a different pattern of teaching as to how my parents taught my siblings and I. Now that Kris and I have four of our own, we see more clearly that the pattern of teaching that our parents used is very helpful.