Hi
@Inagony, as long as you live, there is ~always~ hope in Christ
I too used to mourn because of the person I was. It felt like the weight of the world was pressing down on me because of the guilt I felt over my sins.
But then I found out that the Lord came here to save sinners, the ungodly/wicked who are w/o hope, just like I felt I was ..
Romans 4:5; Mark 2:17, so there's nothing you've ever done that He will not forgive you of if you ask Him to
You can, in fact, do so right now (become a Christian) if you want to. Just confess all of your sins to Him and ask Him to forgive you of them (and He will ..
1 John 1:9; Romans 10:9-10). Then choose to surrender the reins of your life to Him by asking the Lord Jesus to come into your life as both your Lord and your Savior, believing/trusting/knowing that the One who loves you so much that He chose to die for you (so that He wouldn't have to live life w/o you in eternity, nor you w/o Him), will always want the very best for you as well .. e.g.
John 3:16; Romans 5:8-10, 8:28, 32. And then He (who knows and understands what you truly need far better than you could ever hope to yourself .. because He can truly see the big picture of your life from start to finish, yes
) will begin to guide you and guard you/see you safely through this life to be with Him in Glory.
His salvation is principally from two things, 1. sin in this life, and 2. God's wrath in the age to come. You will also be given a new nature that includes the power/ability/desire not to sin anymore.
Also, once you have confessed your sins to God and believed in/given your life to Jesus, then ask Him to fill you with the Holy Spirit .. cf
1 Corinthians 2:12-16.
Praying for you!
God bless you! (
Numbers 6:24-26)
--David
John 5
24 “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has* eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.
*(We are saved from the moment we first believe!)