Do ladies only like guys with "cheating leverage"?

[Gen X]

There's a certain amount of truth to what you're saying, but one of the most attractive things about a man - at least to me - goes further than how they look physically into having some confidence to actually chase after the girl. I'm not talking being a scumbag who picks up chicks - I'm talking swallowing your pride and telling them you have feelings for them.

I mean, guys say that it seems girls these days only date jerks, but let me retort with it seems only jerkish guys these days have any guts to even ask a girl out in the first place.

I mean, what are the good Christian men waiting for to tell a girl they find them attractive and would like to go out for a cup of coffee sometime? A written invitation? It's not like we're going to bite you head off for politely asking us out as long as you're prepared to respect if we say we're not interested. Personally, I find a guy who is nervous about asking someone out or confessing their feelings more attractive than someone who gives off this cocky air of not really caring either way.

LOL. Whale excrement! A Christian man asks a girl out....she DOESN'T like him, or FIND him physically attractive????????????????????????????????? She tells ALL of her friends, and then they systemically gossip and talk about his good points and bad points.......thus Christian guy will NOT be dated by the women he asked out.....and ALL of her friends.

In turn it makes it easier for Christian guy to do nothing. You should REPHRASE your question to:

"Where are all the Christian men who chase women that I AM ATTRACTED TO!"

My reply? You rejected him, only wanted to be "friends" thought he was "nice" but TOO nice. Please spare me your reply that YOU have NEVER done this. All Christian women do this. The pulpit likes to make sermons about "manning up" A LOT, and it ALWAYS makes the women laugh, and applaud..........

But we never, NEVER look at the FACT that many Christian women have A LOT to work on themselves. Sin is sin in my Bible...and you women ARE FAR from innocent.

 

[Messy]

Sin is sin in my Bible...and you women ARE FAR from innocent.

Oh it's a sin to tell someone you don't want to marry him?
Well go marry me, move to Holland, I'm only 45 and look like 60 and have 15 lovely kids, oh no only three but they can sound like 15.
Lol I married the first normal guy who asked me. Noone was interested. Well except one who went to the hookers and one idiot who was 38 and went after all the young girls until one would bite. Lol I started to dress up for him and use some make up and all of a sudden a guy from church I knew for years who never was one bit interested showed interest and told me I shouldn't just marry someone. My ex dated a few girls from church before me, I knew that because he told me. They didn't gossip, they just said no politely.

 

[Gen X]

Oh it's a sin to tell someone you don't want to marry him?
Well go marry me, move to Holland, I'm only 45 and look like 60 and have 15 lovely kids, oh no only three but they can sound like 15.
Lol I married the first normal guy who asked me. Noone was interested. Well except one who went to the hookers and one idiot who was 38 and went after all the young girls until one would bite. Lol I started to dress up for him and use some make up and all of a sudden a guy from church I knew for years who never was one bit interested showed interest and told me I shouldn't just marry someone.

No. Don't be stupid..........It's not a sin to tell a person that.

But we were not talking about MARRIAGE. We were talking about 'dating'

Asking a girl on a date should not be construed as a marriage proposal. Think before you reply next time

 

[redblue22]

buddy, I'm first in line, so you are just gonna hafta wait.

 

[Messy]

No. Don't be stupid..........It's not a sin to tell a person that.

But we were not talking about MARRIAGE. We were talking about 'dating'

Asking a girl on a date should not be construed as a marriage proposal. Think before you reply next time

I only date who I want to marry. What use is it to date someone if you just can ask God if that is the one He has for you?
If I say yes to everyone to be nice then after a few dates it's even harder to say no.

 

[Gen X]

Ummmm...by looking at someone or talking with them briefly after church.......for a few minutes doesn't make a person "marriage material"

You have to DATE the person to see if it could go further.

 

[Messy]

Ummmm...by looking at someone or talking with them briefly after church.......for a few minutes doesn't make a person "marriage material"

You have to DATE the person to see if it could go further.

Yeah we just talked because we went with the train to the same service and evangelized together. He asked me if I came too. He called me with excuses as if he was interested if I wanted to do something in church. Only later he asked me for a date. First he asked me and another guy to hang out somewhere afterwards. If you ask too fast you have a higher chance she says no.

 

[redblue22]

Yeah we just talked because we went with the train to the same service and evangelized together. He asked me if I came too. He called me with excuses as if he was interested if I wanted to do something in church. Only later he asked me for a date. First he asked me and another guy to hang out somewhere afterwards. If you ask too fast you have a higher chance she says no.

Assuuuming you are only dating one person at a time. This all being theoretical, of course.

 

[Cearbhall]

I do not want to offend anyone here. But I am putting forward a thesis that these ladies bring it upon themselves. Now I know this sounds very bad and very biased. But please listen for a second. =)

The problem is that most attractive ladies are only attracted to a certain type of guys. And those guys have the leverage to cheat, or cheating leverage. Those leverage includes womanising (wooing) skills, having a lot of money, being funny, handsome, tall, healthy and active. Basically any positive yet secular traits that the ladies sees in a guy. (Remember the word "secular". This is very important.)

The logic here is very simple really. It should go without saying that a guy with more cheating leverage will cheat more often on average. It is all probability. It is all statistics.

I see where you're coming from, but I don't agree that the number of offers that men get determines what happens. Whether or not they cheat still depends upon their character. I don't see you presenting any evidence that this correlation exists. A man who never gets any offers could just as easily go to a prostitute. I expect faithfulness in all people, and I don't think that limiting your sex life to one partner at a time (if that's what you've agreed upon in the relationship) is too much to ask.

For what it's worth, I'm not part of the "men are pigs" club. I try to avoid generalizations, and I haven't had any bad experiences, anyway.

 

[JuiceBoxxed]

This thread has just been upgraded to popcorn eating status.

 

[Messy]

Assuuuming you are only dating one person at a time. This all being theoretical, of course.

Oh yes lol, a guy from the office just dated 5 at the same time and picked the one he liked best.

 

[LoveDivine]

It's kind of sad that this thread degenerated into a bashing session of Christian women. As much as I disagreed with the OP's original post, I don't think he intended for some to take things as far as they did. All I take from some of these comments is bitterness of soul and resentment. People of both genders need to realize that the opposite gender owes them nothing. It is so easy for a person to blame his/her singleness on others. I'm sure for some guys their singleness is directly related to their unwillingness to compromise or lead an immoral life. Let's face reality though, many professing Christian men aren't single because they are so noble and honorable. They are single because they have unlikable character or personality traits. I am getting that sense from this thread. Also, it is very un-Christian to state that all guys who are more datable are cheaters/players. These statements stem from jealousy (if we will be honest within ourselves). Sure, some exciting handsome guys might be players, but not all. Sometimes a person would be best served to be humble and accept that other guys are not only better looking but also a better catch! Christian humility is based on loving others and realizing that many are ahead of you in life. The level of bitterness and resentment resonating in some of these comments is toxic. No sensible Christian woman would ever be attracted to that. People should stop whining about life and realize that being a Christian is difficult. If you follow God in truth, you are probably going to lose out on some chances to date certain women or make certain friends. The same goes for what Christian women will endure in life. It is irrational for a person to blame or resent those who haven't taken their faith seriously. Sure, if more Christian women were serious it would be easier for decent Christian men to find spouses. It is frustrating perhaps that there is a lack of committed Christians of both genders. How is it rational thinking though to resent these lesser committed Christians? It is like despising and resenting the world for not approving of our Christian faith. Secular society isn't going to approve or love us for our seemingly peculiar traits or lifestyles because it doesn't respect Christ or believe we need to live holy. Many Christians of a secular mindset won't understand this either. Instead of becoming resentful and bitter and generalizing an entire gender, it would be better to move on from the non-serious Christian women and try to find the more decent ones. These women do exist. It is simply not true or factual to state that Christian women are a myth. Decent Christian women might be harder to find, but that is really no different from Christian men.

I'd add that we aren't really obeying God from the heart if we resent that we have abstained from immorality and others haven't.

 

[timewerx]

naive and stupid yes, lol someone kicked a demon of stupidity and naivity out of me because he couldn't believe I just let a weirdo from a dating site come over to drink coffee and it was a miracle nothing happened. I don't think that's demons of naivity but just that noone warned me for that. Oh you should go to a christian dating site, great!

They did a test with young girls at a party. A guy they never met just asked them to come with him and drive to some place and they just did and they warned them for it.

Blame mass media and entertainment industry for it.

It's a lot easier to find information that will get you into trouble than finding information that will keep you from trouble!

It's hard for me to say that some people are just ignorant and it's their fault. It's because our society is molding people to be ignorant!

It took quite a long time for me and after many many troubles before I wised up a bit. I figure many things could have been avoided if mass media gave priority to the welfare of people than just ratings! Once in a blue moon, they would give some wise stuff while the rest is just folly.

 

[timewerx]

If you follow God in truth, you are probably going to lose out on some chances to date certain women or make certain friends. The same goes for what Christian women will endure in life. I'd add that we aren't really obeying God from the heart if we resent that we have abstained from immorality and others haven't.

I felt vindicated by that lol, thanks! I'm not ugly why I've remained single. I'm just not very good at flattery and I try to avoid flattery because it's a sin to God. There's are lots of verses in the Bible that speak against flattery.

Flattering lips is a strong quality common to all players and cheaters and just about every greedy person out there!

 

[Al T]

I felt vindicated by that lol, thanks! I'm not ugly why I've remained single. I'm just not very good at flattery and I try to avoid flattery because it's a sin to God. There's are lots of verses in the Bible that speak against flattery.

Flattering lips is a strong quality common to all players and cheaters and just about every greedy person out there!

I've tried to stay off of this thread.... but I can't.

If by flattering someone, you mean lie to them to get your way, then that's a sin.

If by flattering someone you mean be nice to them, pay them compliments, notice new things, take an interest in them, make jokes with them, then that is not a sin. That's called taking an interest.

So really what you are saying is that because I take an interest in a lady and do these things, I am a cheater and a player. Thank you for that. Oh, and a pop at overweight people as well. Nice one.

 

[LoveDivine]

I've tried to stay off of this thread.... but I can't.

If by flattering someone, you mean lie to them to get your way, then that's a sin.

If by flattering someone you mean be nice to them, pay them compliments, notice new things, take an interest in them, make jokes with them, then that is not a sin. That's called taking an interest.

So really what you are saying is that because I take an interest in a lady and do these things, I am a cheater and a player. Thank you for that. Oh, and a pop at overweight people as well. Nice one.

I agree with you that paying compliments and taking an interest is not flattery. I just assumed when I read his post that he was referring to deceptive flattery. Perhaps I misread the post.

I'm not surprised that you are annoyed or taking offense though. This entire thread is negative and divisive. Nothing good can ever come from discussing a topic that blames or stereotypes an entire group of people or gender. It seems like the real villains (according to this thread) are attractive women who have options and good looking/charismatic guys who know how to win women. It isn't possible, apparently, that a good looking or charismatic guy could actually be a gentleman and be faithful to one woman. It is also not possible for Christian women to desire holy Christian men. Christian women are just a myth, remember

 

[Messy]

-

 

[Al T]

@YankeeGirl - Very true. I just don't get this negativity whatsoever.

Of course Christian women can want good Christian men.

Of course charismatic Christian men can stay faithful to their partners.

If a lady says thanks but no thanks, then so what? Everyone is looking for the 'one'. If he/she says no to you, then they were never the 'one' in the first place. Why get so excited about it all? Why lash out at people who are successful with the opposite sex on here? It makes no sense.

 

[Hawthorne]

Never mind.

 

[Messy]

Just never say 'all men are..' 'all women..' when you didn't date the whole world and base this conclusion on the few people you met.