Do Christian Women love a challenge in romantic relationships ?

[QuestionQuest74]

It's not about money, although a Christian husband would strive to provide for his family as much as possible.

But it's about loving his wife openly, honestly, and loyally.

Women who are deeply in the ways of the world won't recognize that.

So a real christian woman will love a emotionally vulnerable honest man that is not playing games ?

 

[RDKirk]

So a real christian woman will love a emotionally vulnerable honest man that is not playing games ?

Did you read my next post after that one?

 

[OldAbramBrown]

I know the situation you are describing. While everyone is different, what you describe is a fashion among a significant proportion, and is being promoted among them. Many men are being put up to doing the same the other way round as well. On the many occasions it doesn't suit (even among real christians) both lose out - perhaps over and over again. In some countries the label "christian" is a fashion statement and body theology is a fashion statement to cover being a fast man or a fast woman.

Two pronged strategy:

- beg God to send you sincere individuals who will help you see how to deal with them (no mysteriousness on either side)
- talk theology with them, find out about they churches where they have been, and their atttitude to prayer / style of prayer, and also do due diligence about churches where you have been and sources of teaching

Anyone who is cagey or off hand - slow down and don't let them hurry you (which can mean breaking off). Either they were too shy to examine theology and teaching which may have made them prone, or they are up to something out-and-out.

Anyone who grew up in a cuddly family will be happy to adapt to the non-tactile, outside marriage for starters, if they are balanced.

 

[linux.poet]

So a real christian woman will love a emotionally vulnerable honest man that is not playing games ?

I would hope so.

Speaking from personal experience only, giving someone a challenge leads woman to lust. If you're looking for premarital sex and to stir up extreme amounts of desire, by all means do that. But if you are looking to establish a marital relationship based on love and trust, the honest and upfront approach is far better.

Think about it this way: the challenges of merging your lives and birthing and raising children are hard enough for a woman. You don't need to artificially produce another challenge on top of that.

Since you've gotten negative remarks from women when you were vulnerable, I think the emotional vulnerability isn't the problem. You may be in the company of toxic and selfish women. Still, what I would do is continue being emotionally vulnerable and honest, and listen for feedback about how you can improve your emotional life. Maybe even ask them questions. Women enjoy answering questions. If they say that you're immature, ask how you can mature, for example. Just keep being honest, keep talking to women, and keep improving, and you'll get there.

 

[bèlla]

I prefer honest relating and forthrightness from everyone involved. I don't want a Herculean experience devised to gauge my sincerity or unnecessary tests for similar purposes. We are children of God not features in a circus. Christ must be present throughout.

Which requires a willingness to explore one another respectfully. Differences exist and they aren't always nefarious. It's important to make peace with previous experiences and refrain from expecting the same in new encounters or inflicting hardships unintentionally.

If you've been hurt or deeply disappointed healing is a must. If you're in a murky place and wearied by the wait you must attend to that beforehand. Acquaintance shouldn't be a labyrinthian feat or one that requires counseling afterward. Kindness and good will go a long way in developing healthy connections.

Lead with God. Ask questions and expect surprises. Laugh and enjoy each other's company. Pray before you meet and for one another throughout your discourse. That's how you keep wrong things at bay and minimize temptations. If you rest in the flesh you'll reap the same.

When in doubt ask yourself what's the honorable response?

~bella

 

[com7fy8]

So a real christian woman will love a emotionally vulnerable honest man that is not playing games ?

Well, you don't want to put on a fake show. But we need to test our emotions and feelings, and stay only with the right ones >

"Test all things; hold fast what is good." (1 Thessalonians 5:21)

"Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:31-32)

"swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath" (in James 1:19)

So, God's word says there are emotional things to put away > not suppress and hide them, and do not vent and express them, but with God get rid of them. And get into the feelings and thinking and emotions and desires which are in God's calm and kind and creative loving.

So . . . about showing romantic interest . . .

"not in passion of lust" > in 1 Thessalonians 4:5.

Be strong so you are able to take no for an answer and do what is good.

"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)

Do not try to Lord yourself over anyone, for what you want > no arguing, no complaining > always God has better for us, as we grow. So, stay humble, ready to take no for an answer . . . so we can find what is better than what we might have wanted.

So, if you're going to be vulnerable, I think God means for you to manage what is worthy and right to express, and put away what isn't!!

And grow in God's love so we discover how our emotions and feelings develop . . . in God's gentle and kind and quiet love.

"rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

And minister this to our Christian sisters, to help them grow in being kind and wise.

See how you connect in gentleness and quietness >

"with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love," (Ephesians 4:2)

And yes we do need our "longsuffering", because any of us can still be wrong and misled, somehow.