Did I made a vow?

[123flower]

I think I've made a vow, but I'm not sure. Recently I am doubting my salvation. Not that I have to repeat a prayer to be saved again, but whether I believe the right doctrine or not. I believe in the faith alone doctrine without baptism.
Then one day I had a thought in my head. I thought 'hmm i still doubt whether I'm saved or not, I probably should do something about it, but I'm too lazy and I don't really care right now'. Then I felt guilty about my thought and said to God: 'I'm sorry for my thought and that I don't take the matter of salvation seriously'. And now I think I have made a promise that I should figure out whether I'm saved or not. That means reading my bible looking for answers how to be saved. Reading articles on the internet how to be saved. Until I've found a satisfying answer that I'm indeed saved. And because it's a promise I have to do that first and cannot do other things. Like I would really like to go shopping for clothes, but now I cannot because of this promise which have to be done first. Was it really a promise or is it ocd?

 

[Bananagator]

Well, you didn't say "I promise..." so I wouldn't say that you made a vow.
It's good to explore though; look around and see what you can find on salvation. There are a lot of differing viewpoints on it and the best you can do is see which one you agree with.
This isn't something that can be done in one sitting though. If you need/want to do something else, you can do it! It takes a lot of people years to finally come to a conclusion about their beliefs. Ask God to help you through it

Everyone - ok well, most people - question their beliefs at least once. In fact it's very normal for it to be a reoccurring thing. It's just a matter of persistence and finding something that fits with what you believe

 

[covergirl]

For someone who struggled so hard with baptism for salvation, and obsessing over it. Trust me when I say, DO NOT look online to other people as they can be genuinely wrong and misleading. Trust in God through His Word to lead you. Trust that God will make it clear to you. We cannot do anything to earn our salvation because Christ already paid for it on the cross. We just have to accept that in our hearts. Since our hearts can be deceived, please take my advice (especially with OCD and having to be reassured of your salvation) DO NOT ask others how to be saved or go online- so many difference of biblical opinions you can be easily misled. Trust that Christ paid the price for your sin.