Did a traumatic experience make you unchurched?

breezynosacek · Nov 10, 2005

Good explanation Discernomatic!

And just to add a note, it is the book of I John that is written about the Gnostics and it is a rebuke.

FLANDIDLYANDERS · Nov 10, 2005

Yeah good post.

The things some people believe... ((shudder))

StormyOne · Nov 11, 2005

Interesting Discernomatic.... can I borrow your post to use it as a springboard for discussion on another forum I am on? I didn't realize that the Word Of Faith movement was like that... I do remember hearing Creflo Dollar once talk about becoming righteousness as Jesus was and was surprised by that statement......

discernomatic · Nov 12, 2005

StormyOne said:
Interesting Discernomatic.... can I borrow your post to use it as a springboard for discussion on another forum I am on? I didn't realize that the Word Of Faith movement was like that... I do remember hearing Creflo Dollar once talk about becoming righteousness as Jesus was and was surprised by that statement......

Thanks Flandidlyanders and Breezy, and that is just the beginning. Some have researched this kind of thing much longer and there is much more on the web about it if you do a google. It is spooky. I used to adhere to that kind of doctrine.

Go ahead StormyOne.

Qidron · Nov 17, 2005

WOWZERS Jane! What a major experience that was.

It's been a few months since you wrote this...any new insights?

But I gotta say that YES WE DO TO HEAR FROM THE LORD. If our hearts are toward Him, He will guide, correct and protect us. Should he choose to slay us, we will still trust HIM....and besides, where else would we go??

And this desert/wilderness/cleansing/refining/crucifixion thing...IT'S HARD Like what did we think it would be!!.One thing I have learned in my own experience (which I haven't shared here yet) is to Trust GOD...love people...and not to make the mistake of trusting people in the way we are to be trusting God. Expectations, you know. Hannah's Haven is to be MORE than you thought it would be. Please hang in there and let us know what happens with that as well. My heart goes out to you and up to HIM.
~Char

JesseRaymondBassett · Nov 19, 2005

In my experience,
Spiritual abuse made me unchurched. My deacons were highly pressurring me to do things I wasn't ready for. I tried telling them no, but their way of influence was too much. Then one day I sent an email to my mom explaining this problem and offering a solution. (I just send the email this evening).

Pray that mom understands.

Thanks all,
Jess

New_Wineskin · Nov 19, 2005

I understand your situation . May He help you in this area .

Qidron · Nov 19, 2005

Our whole family experienced "trauma" concerning the fellowship we had been a part of for over 20 years. And yeah...we have been in a strange limbo ever since.

I was on the ministry team, in the intercessors group, a Missionettes mom, a Youth Leader helper, and in the Worship team. I thought these ppl loved me and knew me so I had no concerns about my reputation. I love the Lord..and I truly do believe that the truth will win out....I just don't know how long it will take. When things went sour, the atmosphere got really cold and we sorta got elbowed out. I can't say they kicked us out..but we never would have left if it wasn't for a nasty problem that no one would help us through.

Our problem happened within the youth group where our 19 year old son got involved with a 15 year old daughter of another youth leader helper AND my Worship team leader. We two moms seeeemed to be on the same page to keep these two young Christians on the Christ track, till the daughter decided she wanted my son and her mom decided to give her what she wanted. Heck the child once threatened me with what a good enemy she would be if I wasnt nice to her. No, she wasn't kidding. She threatened my son till he left home...and LONG story short, she was pregnant at age 15.

The pastors of that fellowship showed us the backs of their heads...somehow WE were the troublemakers here...the kids got married....had the baby...and our son has not had a real conversation with us in 5 years. We are not allowed to see our grandchildren...last I heard they have 2. I have tried diligently to contact them, invite them and visit them...my dil has told MANY FABRICATED stories about our family causing a total rift. Social Services even showed up at the door one day. All along the 'church' just looked the other way. And our son decided to "support" whatever his wife says...true or not...he says "She is entitled to believe and say what she wants." This is too wierd for me to take in. When we left that church group, we attended another fellowship...only to find out after 3 years that the pastors are all good friends with the same ppl who chose to do this to our family...and somehow we have been hung out to dry.

It all comes down to this....are we one in Christ? And is the Blood of Christ sufficient to cover this and heal this....and will we submit to the TRUTH or do you have to throw ppl out in order to keep your church going ?? And if you do have to throw someone out...how do you decide where the truth lies? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DISCERNMENT? I know that I wasn't lying. It hurts tons. I've only JUST decided to try to enter into community once again. I miss my son. I can't miss my grandkids...I don't even know them. I miss the joint worship. I have had fellowship with my own family and friends that love the Lord...this has been good, but not enough...something is not quite right. Anyway...that was our trauma...it continues, but I still live in hope. And last night there was a new beginning that I am so very grateful for. Another son and his wife had their first child....So I will think on this good report for now.

FLANDIDLYANDERS · Nov 19, 2005

Qidron, that is so upsetting to see how people who call themselves church would react.
Thank u for your frankness.
God bless.

JesseRaymondBassett · Nov 20, 2005

Hi all,
I just found out that our Youth Pastor is resigning at the end of the month. This is just way too much for me. First its the deacons pressuring me to help with the youth, and now the leader of the youth group is resigning!

If someone could send me a PM, I'd appreciate it highly. I need encouragement

If Not For Grace · Nov 21, 2005

Jesse:

You did not comment on your Mom's reaction to the EMAIL. Do you feel pressured or perhaps led? If it is truly pressure, remember all the worlds problems are not yours to solve. GOD is still in charge and will bring forth the right person (maybe you) for the position.

~HopeFloats~ · Nov 21, 2005

A tramatic experience turned me away from church and death of my gramma brough me back.

Shows me God works through peopel to speak to us and show us the way, no matter how many times we turn our back to him, he is ever Faithful.

Qidron · Nov 22, 2005

...Lost....

Although a traumatic experience was the catalyst for many of us to be unchurched...that doesn't necessarily mean we turned away from God. In my case, I became more aware of Him. As a matter of fact, HE led me away from false church...and I'm NOT throwing stones at the fellowship I was a part of either...just the way I viewed "church". I was lead away from a Pseudo Church thing. Oh yes, there certainly were ppl in there that encouraged a club type atmosphere (and required peace even at the cost of truth) and really thought that was the real deal...and coming away from that made it easier to see HIM. The Lord just took improper focus & trust from within me...I'm amazed at how He shakes whatever is shakable out of us. Eventually we learn to trust HIM and love ppl...to BE church wherever we are. When we experience true fellowship, we rejoice no matter the traumatic experiences....a beginning, I guess, to embracing the cross.

This portion of scripture immediately comes to mind and the Message translation is quite good here.

Mat 5:10 "You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

Mat 5:11 "Not only that--count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable.

Mat 5:12 You can be glad when that happens--give a cheer, even!--for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble.

If Not For Grace · Nov 22, 2005

Q:

Do you not miss the "traditional" Fellowship, Music Worship and Teaching Discussions?

Qidron · Nov 22, 2005

dyanm said:
Q:

Do you not miss the "traditional" Fellowship, Music Worship and Teaching Discussions?

To this I'd have to say....I don't miss anything that turned out to be chaff....traditional stuff can be the kinda stuff we HAVE to miss. I remember (many years ago) at the Catholic church...(dear Catholic siblings, please do not take offense)...that the TRADITIONS of the Catholic Church supercede the Bible...and well, I could not abide by that. In order to follow CHRIST I had to get back to the BIBLE!

But yeah, I have missed what I had become used to....like anything. But I had to be weaned of anything false that I was dealing in. But the Lord always makes fellowship happen for His kids. I have a son who leads worship at the IHOP...International House of PRAYER....which, in our area, is.a small group of ppl....so we are not without fellowship in that sense either. And I am ALWAYS open to however the Lord leads me.

Traditional music: If you mean songs....no, I don't miss em. I used to help lead on a worship team....and the ONLY "songs" of worship that are worth ANYTHING were those that caught the fire in our hearts....and those times happen whenever God's kids are together. I LOVE TO SING TO THE LORD. I couldn't stop if I tried.

And then you mentioned Teaching Discussions...I can honestly say I have never been to a church where this has taken place. Only the pastor or the designated preacher speaks....there is no sharing or discussing other than from that one person. THIS is one of the main problems in the traditional churches. This was not the case in the New Testament church. And that is precisely what I'd love to be a part of. Thank you for bringing that point out for me ! I love it when the Lord allows us to bring clarity to one another.

Q

sk8Joyful · Nov 23, 2005

Yes, PRAISE God !

discernomatic · Nov 23, 2005

Qidron said:
Our whole family experienced "trauma" concerning the fellowship we had been a part of for over 20 years. And yeah...we have been in a strange limbo ever since.
And last night there was a new beginning that I am so very grateful for. Another son and his wife had their first child....So I will think on this good report for now.

Congratulations on the new grandchild! When family is involved in such a church conflict it makes it that much worse. Will be praying for your situation.

discernomatic · Nov 23, 2005

Oo~Lost~oO said:
A tramatic experience turned me away from church and death of my gramma brough me back.

Shows me God works through peopel to speak to us and show us the way, no matter how many times we turn our back to him, he is ever Faithful.

I agree. He never lets us down, but always comes looking for us, finds us, and brings us back - to Himself (not necessarily a church congregation).

discernomatic · Nov 23, 2005

Qidron said:
Although a traumatic experience was the catalyst for many of us to be unchurched...that doesn't necessarily mean we turned away from God. In my case, I became more aware of Him. As a matter of fact, HE led me away from false church.... When we experience true fellowship, we rejoice no matter the traumatic experiences....a beginning, I guess, to embracing the cross.

You have summed up my experience, too. It sounds like you have had a "desert" experience. Being on your own forces you to get closer to God, there are less distractions, especially if false doctrine is out of the way. You are forced to concentrate on the truth. I understand the loneliness, am going through that too. I have a few Christian friends, but they attend a church that I won't, because of false doctrine. I didn't have to tell them much about it though, they are finding it out on their own, they have suspected it for some time now. I hope that we can build a new fellowship together.

If Not For Grace · Nov 23, 2005

I too get tired of teachings that I can find no scriptural basis for, but I still say

"Evil Flourishes When Good Men Do Nothing" . I work in a mental hospital and 12 step programs are popular here. One thing I do like about them is the use of what they call slogans and two of my favorites are "Think" and the Other is "Take What you like and Leave the rest".

I don't like everything about my job or my family--and I hold different beliefs from both my parents and my boss, but we still manage to work together. I'm just hoping we can work together w/the "Churched" in order to affect more of a spiritual change within.

Did a traumatic experience make you unchurched?

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