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Deeply troubled, please help.

Discussion in 'Exploring Christianity' started by desperate, Jan 20, 2020.

  1. desperate

    desperate New Member

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    @DLovingBrother Thank you for your response. I did have health problems before asking Jesus to be my salvation. I just want to do whatever I have to do to go to a better place when I die. The main point of my post is really that I want a system to work within that will comfort me with the promise of a better place. I want to believe that this world does not matter, that as long as I accept Jesus everything will be OK even if I am a "failure" in this life.
     
  2. desperate

    desperate New Member

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    Thank you for your response. I have no idea what I can do for God. I have tried to receive the Holy Spirit. I have no energy left and basically feel dead inside.
     
  3. desperate

    desperate New Member

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    Thank you for your response. The bottom line is I want to know that things will get better after this life is over. If I know that this place is just a shadow and a nightmare, I will be able to remain calm. It's not a choice of which table, for me, it's that I have run out of energy to fight the health problems, and I just feel empty and dead. I need to know one day I will feel alive again.
     
  4. desperate

    desperate New Member

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    Thank you for your response. The bottom line is that I do not foresee having any incentive for living except to know that if I persevere and do not commit suicide that I will go to Heaven. I really don't even care if God created evil. I just want to know there's something to look forward to.
     
  5. desperate

    desperate New Member

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    Thank you for your response. I just want to know there is a Heaven.
     
  6. desperate

    desperate New Member

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    Thank you for your response. I cannot do much to help others at this point. I have no money, no energy, and generally feel unwell. I am trying to start a home business but my heart just is not in it. I feel so disappointed in this life. I just want to look forward to a better place. I want to believe in Jesus because i want to believe I'll have another life in a better place someday. If I had that to look forward to, I could manage.
     
  7. desperate

    desperate New Member

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    Thank you for your response. I may be on the wrong track, in that I really just want to know there is a better place after this life is over. I need to know I'll have another chance. I need to know this life is just a nightmare, nothing to take seriously, and that worldly "failure" is nothing to feel bad about. I wish the Bible spoke to me. I wish I could feel Jesus.
     
  8. desperate

    desperate New Member

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    Thank you for your response. I will try that.
     
  9. desperate

    desperate New Member

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    Thank you for your response. I turned to Christianity a few years ago because I had no where else to turn. Sometimes I wish that I could go back to my old "New Age" type belief system... But I can't, because of what I have witnessed. I don't want that stuff to ever come into my life again. I am looking for the door that lets me out, and it seems like Jesus could be that door. Thanks for your reply however... it's comforting to know that other people have struggled with this situation.
     
  10. desperate

    desperate New Member

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    I ap
    Thank you for your response. I have no idea how to put your suggestions to use, but I appreciate your kind words nonetheless.
     
  11. desperate

    desperate New Member

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    Thank you for your response. Basically, I have reached a breaking point where I "cannot take it anymore"... I have never felt like this and have no way to deal with it. I really just want to know there is a Heaven. If I had that to look forward to, I would be able to function much better.
     
  12. Aussie Pete

    Aussie Pete Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,583
    Australia
    Non-Denom
    Divorced
    The most wonderful thing about being born again is that this life can be wonderful also. I have had troubles of all kinds. The Bible assures us that it is normal. "Failure" is simply our efforts to do the right thing gone wrong. And that is also normal. One day, we wake up and see that our ways are not God's ways. Then we choose His instead.

    You do not need to "feel" Jesus. Do you ask yourself if you "feel" that your parents are real? Do you "feel" like the taxi driver is real? No, you see him and you know that he is real. You need spiritual eyesight, aka faith. You need God to remove the spiritual blindness that closes the Bible to you. Ask Him to give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation.

    Just a friendly word of advice. If and when you receive the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, you do well to obey what you read. The more we know, the more accountable we are. Having said that, it is the only way to live.

    In November last year, I had a heart problem. I was in emergency and the thought crossed my mind that it could be my last day on earth. I was not afraid at all and I had the deep assurance that the next life is better than this. But I have unfinished business here, so I don't get to go home just yet.

    Throw yourself on God's mercy, cast all the cares this life on Him and ask Him to deliver you. He loves you. He has helped everyone who asked Him ever. He will help you. Oh, and be willing to swallow whatever medicine He prescribes. It may not taste nice but it will do the job.
     
  13. Nancy Hale

    Nancy Hale Member

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    Here's how I understand it, and I hope it makes some sense.
    Some things actually aren't things in and of themselves, but merely the absence of something that really IS.
    Light is real. Dark is just the absence of light.
    Love is real. Apathy is just the absence of love.
    God is real. Evil is the absence of God.
    Life is Real! Death is the absence of life.
    Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life!
    It's not that God created evil, it's that evil --- sorry, I have a hard time explaining it, it's not that God isn't everywhere, because He is. But, God can't be corrupted, He can't not be God. He can't not be perfect and holy and just. So, evil and sin can not exist with God, it's not possible; just like you can't turn a floodlight on and still be in a dark room.
    Today just happens to be my granddaughters 4th birthday. I made a cake to celebrate. I've never met her in person. I love her so much. She looks a lot like me; my eyes, my curly hair, my dimples. There is not one thing she could do to make me stop loving her! I bet she doesn't even know I'm celebrating her today. She lives in a different state, hours away. I have health issues and that state makes them so much worse, I just can't go there.
    What if I could only write it in a book and hope she believed me?
    Those are about the best I can do. Satan is evil and God did create Satan. But, Satan is evil because he is completely devoid of God. I heard once that the reason he hates us so much is because we are made in God's image, and torturing us is as close as he can come to torturing God. I don't know if it's true, but it was my next question after figuring out evil.
     
  14. Nancy Hale

    Nancy Hale Member

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    I haven't read all your responses, but have you told this to God? Talked to Him?
    Are you really going to believe any of us? And, are you really sure that's what you need? I'm serious, talk to God. Tell Him everything. Everything. Don't leave anything out. Then be patient. Just trust.
    I'm speaking from experience. I'm not going in to detail because I think it would... steal something from you. God really is glorious! So, so glorious!
    One thing I do want to share is that I do know what it is like to hurt so bad all the time for years on end that I have been jealous of people who die. I've wondered why they get to and not me, it doesn't seem fair. Long story short, what helped me was deciding God gets to pick when I die. Because, it's really the only thing I can give Him. Or, not take from Him; however. Just the one thing.
     
  15. SeventyOne

    SeventyOne Well-Known Member

    +2,597
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    Calvary Chapel
    Married
    Sometimes God needs to bring people low so they will look towards Him and be saved. Unfortunately, it's a very effective way to grab our attention. You really should be talking to Him, as a child to their parent. Christ died for our sins, paying our penalty for us, then rose again, conquering death. Now that work is available for us for the forgiveness of our own sins. If you go to Him, relying on that alone, you will have the assurance you need.
     
  16. TzephanYahu

    TzephanYahu Member

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    Shalom friend,
    It aeems like you haven't actually met with God yet. It seems you have probably prayed the "sinners prayer" and thought to stay good to get to heaven and are now seeing this life as a glorified waiting room.

    There is much to look forward to in every way. But not only in the future but today as well. Each day is a pleasure to spend with Yahweh through the Holy Spirit. It's not about trying to survive to get eternal life. Eternal life is now - it springs forth from within you the moment the Holy Spirit is within.

    Would you mind telling me, how did you come to be a believer and why?

    Love & Shalom
     
  17. desperate

    desperate New Member

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    Thank you for your response.

    I always knew Jesus was a Master. It's a long story about how i got to the point I am at now. Basically, I am worn out with evil, and I want to be protected from it so I can focus on being productive. So many things let me down, it's really absurd, not even realistic...I want life, not daily death. I want to be on the winning team. I admire Christians who actually follow Jesus. Mostly, I like winning. Jesus obviously won. I like the way he threw curveballs. He really called a spade a spade. He went about doing good. He rose from the dead... That is winning. I want to win, too.
     
  18. rturner76

    rturner76 Senior Veteran Supporter

    +1,518
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    US-Democrat
    I completely understand. I have very severe depression. I take medication and all that and I rarely leave the house or even my favorite chair. They are always changing and adjusting my meds but I never really feel any different so I know how it is when you just don't have anything to give.

    In my personal situation, to medicate the depression, I used chemicals to change how I felt. I developed an addiction over time and tried everything to quit. It wasn't until I completely gave my life and my will to my higher power that I found some relief. When God stepped in and removed the desire to use, I gained so much gratitude that when I am down in the pit of despair, I am able to look at my life and say "I'm not exactly where I want to be in life but I got a second (third and fourth) chance. I am relatively healthy, my mom is still living, and I have all the food clothes and shelter anybody could want."

    So something else to consider, when I don't have the energy to be active in the church or aren't living the way you want to and feel shame and low. I try to think of at least 5 things I am grateful for and I get some relief for my bad feelings.

    I wouldn't presume to tell you what you should do, I just wanted to share about what has helped me.
     
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  19. TzephanYahu

    TzephanYahu Member

    70
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    United Kingdom
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    Shalom friend,

    It sounds like you have a lot weighing you down. But I feel the same heaviness from you as I would expect to find in an unbeliever OR someone on the verge of a breakthrough!

    Noe, consider this important point: When the Messiah walked on earth, He had disciples and followers. The disciples applied themselves to the Messiah's teachings as students whereas the followers on the outskirts mainly followed Him for signs, wonders, miracles, healing and food. The disciples sought what they could learn from Him, the followers sought after what they could get from Him.

    This is how it is today as well with many Christians being followers rather than disciples. Despite what they might say, their actions speak louder than words and they are easy enough to recognise.

    Be careful not to fall into the category of follower! I know you want to "win" but what if Yahweh told you that you would have to lose in order to truly win? Think upon this deeply.

    I also get the impression that Christianity has been mis-sold to you. You may have been told the Gospel and that if you believe you'll go to Heaven and then left alone to figure the rest out - is that near to the truth? If so, don't worry, it's definitely not too late to become a disciple.

    But why become a disciple? What's the point? Isn't it just hard work? It can be at first. But trust me, it is a life with clarity, joy, peace, love and life and devoid of confusion, depression, fear and darkness. However, in order to get there you need to push through the crowd of followers and join the disciples, close to the Messiah to hear and do what He says. Therein lies eternal life.

    Have you read much of the Bible? Did you get stuck or confused over anything in particular?

    If you would prefer to answer privately, feel free to PM me.

    Love & Shalom
     
  20. desperate

    desperate New Member

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    Thank you for your response. I will tell you my main issue: I have health issues that are making it nearly impossible for me to work. I used to be a high-achieving person. Over time I have been reduced to extreme fatigue, insomnia, breathing problems, etc. I want to be able to be my best self, not be this dysfunctional thing. I want to be able to use my God-given talents. It seems like a total waste. I struggle to do something every day, but it is no where near what I could do if I were in decent condition. I am having a hard time applying Jesus' teachings to my situation. I want to earn money and then use it for charitable works, not "learn how to suffer". I have wondered if God is trying to show me that he does not need my good works. I have wondered if God is "putting me in my place", humiliating and degrading me for some kind of ...purpose? I am continuing to try to heal myself with any protocol that makes sense, but I do not have a "system" for staying mentally OK about this. It's been twenty years like this. There are other issues but this is the main problem. I want to believe God wants me to be my best self, using my abilities, participating in life. I do not want to believe God wants me to be in this condition. I have tried to accept it, but I just can't. I have tried to "praise and worship" in spite of this misery but it is not working. God knows I'm unhappy. I don't even know what praising and worshipping entails. I asked Jesus to comfort me and help me to accept my condition, but so far, I am not feeling any comfort. I tried to tell myself this life is just evil garbage and I was put here to be punished, but it will get better once I die. I have tried telling myself that suffering makes me like Jesus, but it really does not...as far as I know, He had a healthy, busy life until He was taken to be crucified, and then His suffering on the Cross had MEANING! Laying in bed all day because I will black out if I try to stand up is MEANINGLESS. I was born with compassion. I did not need to be tortured into caring about people beside myself. I already did. If anything, this meaningless disease is making me hard-hearted and cold. I do not like what is happening. It's just been too long, too many opportunities were lost because of this. ...I know someone might say, this forces me to rely solely on God...but what do i have a body and a brain for if not to USE them? If I just lay down and say, "I give up, God can take over", I will end up in a gutter! Proverbs warns against not working! Sleep will clothe a man in rags! Etc!!!

    I appreciate any insight.
     
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