Dealing with unpleasant people and confrontation

[seaofsand]

I am new to Christianity after a long time gone, and one thing I struggle with is stopping bitter and angry feelings toward people I consider rude or unpleasant. My example right now is a couple who live next door to me. I see them pretty often because they're always outside, and they are, to me, obnoxious and inconsiderate. I don't like them and I cannot force myself to like them, but I do not want to feel bitter toward them either. I wish I could just feel neutral about them and not give them a second thought when I don't need to. There are other times when this happens to me as well, when I'm out in public and see people being loud or rude. I feel my blood pressure rising and the bitterness comes with that.

I have a hard time controlling my anger and frustration around certain people, and I don't want to be like this anymore. How do Christians deal with people they don't like in a peaceful, loving, or even just a neutral way? I try to imagine myself like Neo from The Matrix, just dodging the energy and actions of rude or ugly people, but sometimes they get the best of me. Or my anger does.

 

[Chrystal-J]

I'm around some incredibly rude people. When I have to see them, I feel sorry for them and pray that they find Christ and their attitude will change. I figure they must be miserable or they wouldn't act that way.

 

[Freth]

I am new to Christianity after a long time gone, and one thing I struggle with is stopping bitter and angry feelings toward people I consider rude or unpleasant. My example right now is a couple who live next door to me. I see them pretty often because they're always outside, and they are, to me, obnoxious and inconsiderate. I don't like them and I cannot force myself to like them, but I do not want to feel bitter toward them either. I wish I could just feel neutral about them and not give them a second thought when I don't need to. There are other times when this happens to me as well, when I'm out in public and see people being loud or rude. I feel my blood pressure rising and the bitterness comes with that.

I have a hard time controlling my anger and frustration around certain people, and I don't want to be like this anymore. How do Christians deal with people they don't like in a peaceful, loving, or even just a neutral way? I try to imagine myself like Neo from The Matrix, just dodging the energy and actions of rude or ugly people, but sometimes they get the best of me. Or my anger does.

I too am fairly new to Christianity after a long time away. I came back in 2016.

I've found that the key to loving others is the understanding that God created every one of us and we wouldn't be here if it weren't for Him.

That means your annoying neighbors (and trust me, I've had many), and even the noisy or annoying people you run into out in public, are all God's children and exist because He deemed it so. God commands us to not only love Him, but to love one another, even in the face of the things that grate on us the most.

Smile, say hello, and be kind. Look at every human being as a creature of God, deserving of love, respect, patience and understanding. All of us are here trying to live together.

Pondering the love of God, reading His word and filling your heart with His love will help you find reasons to love instead, replacing the reasons you become annoyed, or are quick to anger.

The more we focus on the love Jesus showed us, the more His love shines in our hearts and the more we lose that old self.

God bless!

 

[public hermit]

I am new to Christianity after a long time gone, and one thing I struggle with is stopping bitter and angry feelings toward people I consider rude or unpleasant. My example right now is a couple who live next door to me. I see them pretty often because they're always outside, and they are, to me, obnoxious and inconsiderate. I don't like them and I cannot force myself to like them, but I do not want to feel bitter toward them either. I wish I could just feel neutral about them and not give them a second thought when I don't need to. There are other times when this happens to me as well, when I'm out in public and see people being loud or rude. I feel my blood pressure rising and the bitterness comes with that.

I have a hard time controlling my anger and frustration around certain people, and I don't want to be like this anymore. How do Christians deal with people they don't like in a peaceful, loving, or even just a neutral way? I try to imagine myself like Neo from The Matrix, just dodging the energy and actions of rude or ugly people, but sometimes they get the best of me. Or my anger does.

Honestly, I try to remember how miserable it can be for others to be around me, which is not insignificant, and that helps. During Lent, many Christians spend time reflecting on their own shortcomings and areas in need of improvement. How am I not rightly oriented toward the will of God? Repentance, which is a turn about, a reorienting toward the divine will, is good for helping us become gracious toward others. The more I'm aware of my need for grace, the more gracious I am toward others. So, yeah, I have a long way to go.

 

[Michie]

I am new to Christianity after a long time gone, and one thing I struggle with is stopping bitter and angry feelings toward people I consider rude or unpleasant. My example right now is a couple who live next door to me. I see them pretty often because they're always outside, and they are, to me, obnoxious and inconsiderate. I don't like them and I cannot force myself to like them, but I do not want to feel bitter toward them either. I wish I could just feel neutral about them and not give them a second thought when I don't need to. There are other times when this happens to me as well, when I'm out in public and see people being loud or rude. I feel my blood pressure rising and the bitterness comes with that.

I have a hard time controlling my anger and frustration around certain people, and I don't want to be like this anymore. How do Christians deal with people they don't like in a peaceful, loving, or even just a neutral way? I try to imagine myself like Neo from The Matrix, just dodging the energy and actions of rude or ugly people, but sometimes they get the best of me. Or my anger does.

I struggle with certain types as well. I think we all do. Prayers the Lord helps you with your struggles and grants you some peace and wisdom to deal with it.

 

[mama2one]

pandemic has brought rudeness to the forefront

went to get air in tires & a man pulled right up to my car preventing me from pulling out
common curtesy says you leave space

I signaled for him to back up some
he jumped out of his car, leaned against his door, & folded his arms like a baby having a tantrum

men used to hold doors open for me but now if I go to post office to check p.o. box, they let door slam in my face

with pandemic, for most part I stay home & away from people...I want to stay away from "all the craziness"

 

[seaofsand]

Smile, say hello, and be kind. Look at every human being as a creature of God, deserving of love, respect, patience and understanding. All of us are here trying to live together.

Pondering the love of God, reading His word and filling your heart with His love will help you find reasons to love instead, replacing the reasons you become annoyed, or are quick to anger.

The more we focus on the love Jesus showed us, the more His love shines in our hearts and the more we lose that old self.

Thank you for that advice. That is something I need to practice more. I am a pretty reserved person, so I often ignore my annoying neighbors when I see them, which probably just adds to the problem. I know this is not really the kindest thing to do. And the more I can focus on Christ's words, the less I will think about annoying neighbors anyway.

Honestly, I try to remember how miserable it can be for others to be around me, which is not insignificant, and that helps. During Lent, many Christians spend time reflecting on their own shortcomings and areas in need of improvement. How am I not rightly oriented toward the will of God? Repentance, which is a turn about, a reorienting toward the divine will, is good for helping us become gracious toward others. The more I'm aware of my need for grace, the more gracious I am toward others. So, yeah, I have a long way to go.

I think this is exactly the thing. I was raised to be polite and always have manners, and as an adult, I get extremely judgmental and irritated around people who don't do the same. But in this way, I fail to see my own faults, even though I know that I am not always a nice person myself on the inside, no matter how polite or conscientious I may be on the exterior. Thank you for the reminder.

pandemic has brought rudeness to the forefront

went to get air in tires & a man pulled right up to my car preventing me from pulling out
common curtesy says you leave space

I signaled for him to back up some
he jumped out of his car, leaned against his door, & folded his arms like a baby having a tantrum

men used to hold doors open for me but now if I go to post office to check p.o. box, they let door slam in my face

with pandemic, for most part I stay home & away from people...I want to stay away from "all the craziness"

You are right. The past two years have brought out the absolute worst in humanity. It's awful. What you described about the man who folded his arms like a child is all too common. People actually take some pleasure in making others miserable now. Like you, I stay home and out of public places as much as I am able.

The other day, my neighbors had guests over during the day, and their friends blocked my trashcan on the curb and I had to run out at the last minute to move it so that the garbage truck could get to it. Was it a big deal? No, not in the grand scheme of things, but it's just rude and inconsiderate. There's no way they didn't see the trashcan there, and my neighbors knew it was pickup day. And I am sure my neighbors saw me having to scramble to move the trashcan, but later in the day, the man in the couple smiled and waved as I got in my car and I just wanted to smack him. That kind of rudeness just drives me nuts, and it's something I have to work on. When something like that happens, I often dwell on it, and it's not healthy, and my reaction is no better than their rudeness.

 

[disciple Clint]

I am new to Christianity after a long time gone, and one thing I struggle with is stopping bitter and angry feelings toward people I consider rude or unpleasant. My example right now is a couple who live next door to me. I see them pretty often because they're always outside, and they are, to me, obnoxious and inconsiderate. I don't like them and I cannot force myself to like them, but I do not want to feel bitter toward them either. I wish I could just feel neutral about them and not give them a second thought when I don't need to. There are other times when this happens to me as well, when I'm out in public and see people being loud or rude. I feel my blood pressure rising and the bitterness comes with that.

I have a hard time controlling my anger and frustration around certain people, and I don't want to be like this anymore. How do Christians deal with people they don't like in a peaceful, loving, or even just a neutral way? I try to imagine myself like Neo from The Matrix, just dodging the energy and actions of rude or ugly people, but sometimes they get the best of me. Or my anger does.

The most effective way I have found is to remind myself that I have my flaws as well, I am not perfect, they are not perfect, I do not want people to judge me so I try not to judge others or to at least forgive them as God forgives me.

 

[The Narrow Way]

I am new to Christianity after a long time gone, and one thing I struggle with is stopping bitter and angry feelings toward people I consider rude or unpleasant. My example right now is a couple who live next door to me. I see them pretty often because they're always outside, and they are, to me, obnoxious and inconsiderate. I don't like them and I cannot force myself to like them, but I do not want to feel bitter toward them either. I wish I could just feel neutral about them and not give them a second thought when I don't need to. There are other times when this happens to me as well, when I'm out in public and see people being loud or rude. I feel my blood pressure rising and the bitterness comes with that.

I have a hard time controlling my anger and frustration around certain people, and I don't want to be like this anymore. How do Christians deal with people they don't like in a peaceful, loving, or even just a neutral way? I try to imagine myself like Neo from The Matrix, just dodging the energy and actions of rude or ugly people, but sometimes they get the best of me. Or my anger does.

Yesterday we read about Jesus and the mock trial He endured....it caused me to think more about how we should treat our enemies and those who mistreat us...perhaps you will be blessed as well

At the suggestion of Herod, a crown was now plaited from a vine bearing sharp thorns, and this was placed upon the sacred brow of Jesus; and an old tattered purple robe, once the garment of a king, was placed upon his noble form, while Herod and the Jewish priests encouraged the insults and cruelty of the mob. Jesus was then placed upon a large block, which was derisively called a throne, an old reed was placed in his hand as a scepter, and, amid satanic laughter, curses, and jeers, the rude throng bowed to him mockingly as to a king. Occasionally some murderous hand snatched the reed that had been placed in his hand, and struck him on the head with it, forcing the thorns into his temples, and causing the blood to flow down his face and beard. 3SP 138.2

Satan instigated the cruel abuse of the debased mob, led on by the priests and rulers, to provoke, if possible, retaliation from the world's Redeemer, or to drive him to deliver himself by a miracle from the hands of his persecutors, and thus break up the plan of salvation. One stain upon his human life, one failure of his humanity to bear the terrible test imposed upon it, would make the Lamb of God an imperfect offering, and the redemption of man would be a failure. But he who could command the heavenly hosts, and in an instant call to his aid legions of holy angels, one of whom could have immediately overpowered that cruel mob,—he who could have stricken down his tormentors by the flashing forth of his divine majesty,—submitted to the coarsest insult and outrage with dignified composure. As the acts of his torturers degraded them below humanity, into the likeness of Satan, so did the meekness and patience of Jesus exalt him above the level of humanity. 3SP 139.1​

 

[d taylor]

I am new to Christianity after a long time gone, and one thing I struggle with is stopping bitter and angry feelings toward people I consider rude or unpleasant. My example right now is a couple who live next door to me. I see them pretty often because they're always outside, and they are, to me, obnoxious and inconsiderate. I don't like them and I cannot force myself to like them, but I do not want to feel bitter toward them either. I wish I could just feel neutral about them and not give them a second thought when I don't need to. There are other times when this happens to me as well, when I'm out in public and see people being loud or rude. I feel my blood pressure rising and the bitterness comes with that.

I have a hard time controlling my anger and frustration around certain people, and I don't want to be like this anymore. How do Christians deal with people they don't like in a peaceful, loving, or even just a neutral way? I try to imagine myself like Neo from The Matrix, just dodging the energy and actions of rude or ugly people, but sometimes they get the best of me. Or my anger does.

What do you live next door to liberals