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Dealing with Sexually Immoral non-Christian Friends

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by rose wabos, Nov 29, 2019 at 11:54 PM.

  1. rose wabos

    rose wabos Member

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    Hello, I'm going to give context to this post so you all can understand my situation more clearly.
    I am a seventeen-year-old Christian. I've grown up in the church my entire life, but I turned away from God fully around age twelve. The Lord continued to pursue me, though, and after living a very sinful life, I accepted Jesus back into my life late November last year. Praise the Lord!
    I threw all I was into my faith, I go to a Christian reformed school, so my friends were fairly amused when I started babbling about Jesus constantly. I started a prayer group, and I seemed to be producing fruit wherever I stepped foot.
    Anyways, late January, I began to feel a pull in my heart towards the Native American community. I had a desire in my heart to work on a reservation in the summer.
    I also began to evangelize, the closer I grew to God, the more anxious I was to share his truth. Anyways, on the last day of school, I took a walk around my neighborhood, and I ran into two young teenaged girls, both close to my age. I felt a tug in my heart to talk to them. They actually asked me to sit down, and I was able to share the gospel with them. We talked for a long time, and I ended up bringing them back to my house to feed them. A couple weeks after the initial meeting, we met up again at a coffee shop, and talked for a while. One of the girls ended up mentioning that they were going to volunteer on a Native American reservation that July, and spots were open! I went home and told my parents, they were hesitant at first, but it ended up working out for me to go on the trip. Again, praise the Lord.
    The church that we were going with was a very lukewarm Catholic church. They supported gay marriage, and I heard a few of the leaders actually talking about how the Bible contradicts itself. Yikes. So, it was really not a Christian environment at all. On top of that, all of the kids, including the girls I'm friends with whom I love dearly, did not live for Jesus, and most of them didn't even profess faith in Him. I believe there was a young man who genuinely believed in Jesus, but his actions did not reflect that belief at all.
    (Yes, I know this is getting long, I will get to the title of this post, bear with me)
    I could go on and on about how much I LOVED the Native children on the Rez. I do believe I am called to that community, but I faced such temptation on the Rez, with that group of teenagers, that I am hesitant to go back, due to my flesh, even though the Lord has called me there.
    Let me explain more clearly:
    At night, us teenagers would go up in the attic and play games. Seems wholesome, right? Nope. The exact opposite. Every single game that was played was incredibly dirty and detestable to God. I protested, but at the same time, I didn't want to detach myself, I didn't want to seem like a "prude." I never agreed with what was said, but I still know I committed a sin by allowing myself to be around such impurity. People were bragging about their sexual endeavors, and getting in graphic detail, and I can never remove those words from my mind. Also, I did fall to peer pressure. There were times questions regarding my sexual past were asked that I didn't want to answer, but I got pressured into answering, and I know God has forgiven me for those answers, but it still hurts me that I chose to hurt him in those moments.
    On top of all this, I was really, really really, attracted to one of the boys in the group. Part of the reason I continued to play the games was because he was there. Now, I know this attraction was a little demonic, because everything this boy stood for, I stood against. I have never experienced such intense attraction to someone before. It was vile. I would lie in my bed at night, at times falling into fantasy, which never happens. There was this evil connection that we had, I can only explain it as demonic.
    I will probably be going on this trip again this summer, with the same people, and I know I will be tempted, but I know, since I've grown and learned, that I won't fall into the same patterns.
    I am still worried though. I hang out with those girls I met to this day, and I believe that my faith has an influence on them, but I too am influenced by them, and everytime I meet with them, I have to be careful to stand firm in my faith. Please pray for me, because I am still so impressionable.
    I want to know what I can do to be in community with these people and relate to them, but not let them rub off on me. The Bible says to flee from all sexual immorality, so does that mean I flee from them? Like, for example, with that boy, should I choose to not go on the trip because he is there, and I will be incredibly tempted. I know the Lord will help me resist, but is it worth it to put myself in that vulnerable of a situation again.
    Like I said, I believe God has called me to the Native people, so I know he is doing something here, I just want to protect my heart.
    Please pray for me!! Comment your prayers too, and I will be praying for you, brethren. Please let me know if you have any thoughts on this topic.
    In Christ,
    T
     
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  2. redleghunter

    redleghunter Thank You Jesus! Supporter

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    Try to find a Christian ministry to do the work you are called to do. Avoid these conversations on sexual past as they are not fruitful for your walk with Christ.


    And remember:

    1 Corinthians 15:33Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good character.”
     
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  3. HatedByAll

    HatedByAll New Member

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    You have provided the answer yourself. "Flee from sexual immorality." That is the lesson we learn from the story of Joseph and Potiphar's wife. In my opinion, worry about your own spiritual growth for now, and if you minister to these youth, do it with a much more mature Christian leading the group. In other words, for now be a part of someone else's ministry and later when you have matured in your faith, then be the leader in a ministry.
     
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  4. pdudgeon

    pdudgeon Traditional Catholic

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    Your instincts are right, and yes, you should run the other way in this situation.

    Just because you have discerned what direction that God wants you to go in your life doesn't mean that satan will be a gentleman, and stand aside to let you do that.

    No, instead he will put roadblocks into your pathway, or try to lure you aside from your goals.

    So what to do? Find another group who are also working with the Native people, but whose walk matches their talk. Best Wishes!
     
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  5. rose wabos

    rose wabos Member

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    Thank you, thank you. I guess the only confusing thing is that it seems like God intended for me to go to the Rez with those particular people, y'know? What if he's testing me, or wanting me to grow in how I face these situations?
     
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  6. rose wabos

    rose wabos Member

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    Thank you, thank you. I guess the only confusing thing is that it seems like God intended for me to go to the Rez with those particular people, y'know? What if he's testing me, or wanting me to grow in how I face these situations?
     
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  7. Carl Emerson

    Carl Emerson Well-Known Member

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    From what I read I wouldn't go...

    Maybe prayerfully study Jeremiah 15:15-21

    Light and darkness cannot fellowship.

    If you don't seperate the consequences will very likely be very serious.
     
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  8. ChicanaRose

    ChicanaRose Well-Known Member

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    I agree with others that you shouldn't go. In the future, you should check and confirm with a pastor regarding your calling.
     
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  9. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Apprentice Supporter

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    Or what if He's allowing the Devil to test you...?

    What would you think you should do then...?

    It says God tests or tries no one, but I think He sometimes will allow the Devil to do it, in the hopes that would make the right choice that scripture advises us to, you know...

    I would follow the advice others are giving you on here if I were you, just saying... They are giving you very good Godly counsel and good advice...

    Will pray for you,

    God Bless You!

    Oh, and, welcome to CF!

    God Bless!
     
  10. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Apprentice Supporter

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    One can grow in facing these situations sometimes, but your still very young, and not yet mature in the faith yet, and I really think God wants you to go another or the other way right now, for now, etc...

    As others have suggested, try to find another or different group to go with, a believing group, or consult a pastor, etc, etc, etc, all these guys have been saying basically, K...?

    God Bless!
     
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  11. rose wabos

    rose wabos Member

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    Thank you! My Dad is a pastor, and he believes I am called to this community. But yes, I agree, I should pray more about my calling.
     
  12. rose wabos

    rose wabos Member

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    God bless you, too! Thank you for the advice.
     
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  13. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Apprentice Supporter

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    There are many other ways to go or reach out to this specific community without those other people right...? You should do that maybe, just saying...? And speaking to your Dad or another pastor would be great, but does your Dad know about these things you have just been sharing with us on here...? Cause I'm pretty sure I already know what he would advise if he did or does... And you should know too right, I mean something just does not feel right about these people, right...? So, find another way, K...?

    God Bless!
     
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  14. Oscarr

    Oscarr Senior Veteran Supporter

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    I was 19 when I first received Christ as my Saviour. I thought I had all the answers and tried to be the same as the more mature and experienced Christians in my church. Looking back 50 years later, I conclude that I was quite arrogant and thought I knew more than I actually did. I thought I could do what the big boys could do - evangelise whole districts, get people healed, preach, cast out demons, etc. But through bitter experience I see I was just a novice trying to be more advanced than I was. I see now that one cannot put an old head on young shoulders.

    If I had my time over again, I would spend the first three years of my Christian life just being discipled and becoming familiar with the written Scriptures. If the disciples of Jesus needed three years of training by Jesus Himself, and Paul, needed three years of personal training by revelation from the risen Lord, then I, being no better than them, would need at least three years of training as well before I put myself forward for ministry of any kind.

    I conclude that I would have been much more effective for the Lord in my life, made better decisions, avoided much hardship, disappointment, stupid decisions, and had my Christian experience founded on stronger, sounder doctrine. But I can't turn the clock back for myself, but I can warn younger people like yourself.

    You might not like me saying this to you, but you are still "wet behind the ears" as far as basic Christian knowledge and experience goes. You need to humble yourself and spend the next three years sitting under good discipleship training and mentoring by mature, experienced Christians in your church.

    If you go out trying to change the world, especially others whom you think need to change their lives and morals, then you will just fall on your acre and end up being humiliated, like I was when as a one year Christian tried to cast a demon out of someone. That was the only time I was soundly rebuked by the Lord and told never to do that again until He gave me permission, and 50 years later He still hasn't given me that permission. That event left me with a deep regret that I foolishly interfered with another person's life and probably pushed them away from the Lord through my actions. I never had the chance to go and apologise and so that remains a big unresolved issue for me, even though God has totally forgiven me for my absolute foolishness.

    I am a friend. "The wounds of a friend are better than the kisses of an enemy" (Proverbs 27:6).

    You will have plenty who will flatter you and cause you to believe that you are better than you actually are. Good and godly mentors will tell you the honest truth, and you won't like it or find the advice pleasant to you, but you will appreciate it in the long run. My old Holiness pastor was a very strict mentor, and I went through stages where nothing I could do would please him. But after three years under his ministry I learned more than I have before and for many years since, and his teaching, after 40 years has stood the test of time, while those of my other mentors have faded away in the mists of time and memory.

    So, find a mentor who is strict and a stickler for holiness, and who is a man of prayer and of the Word. Stick with him and learn from him. You will never regret it. And when you get old like me, and you will, you will be able to give the same advice to young people like I have given to you! :)
     
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  15. rose wabos

    rose wabos Member

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    I am blessed by your post. Thank you! I guess the only thing I disagree a little bit with on is the fact that we have to be completely "ready" before we do great things in the name of Jesus. God can use anyone, no matter what place they're in.
    Humility is so important, though. I believe that is what can bar us from growing in Christ. Please pray for humility for me!
    Again, thank you for your words. I am also working on finding a female mentor, my heart aches for one.
    Blessings!
     
  16. KateforChrist

    KateforChrist Koalas are NOT bears

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    I agree with the other posts. You are young both in the faith and in age. It's not good to put yourself knowingly into a situation like this. It's like sending a dieter out to buy sweets and chocolates.

    God can open the correct door for you to be involved in this ministry, if it's what He wants you to do, at the correct time.

    I imagine that there would be quite a few organisations involved in Christian outreach to these people.

    I suggest you contact missionary organisations and find out what their beliefs are.

    I found this one: Home - Native Ministries International

    Please note that this is just something that I found online. I have no idea if it is good.
     
  17. rose wabos

    rose wabos Member

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    Thank you, Kate. I believe God is telling me, through all of you, that it's not the right ministry to be working with. But, it also crossed my mind, that my 19-year-old sister, who is very strong in the faith, could possibly go with me on the trip and protect me from the temptation. Just throwing it out there. PS. Koalas are adorable!!
     
  18. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Apprentice Supporter

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    It helps very much to be just a little more experienced and just a little more seasoned/mentored though, to have doing great things for God or in God's name, will be or do great things for you though...? cause sometimes, "sometimes" otherwise it can be and could turn out detrimental to and for you, sometimes, in the long run most especially though, not all the time, but sometimes...

    Not saying you can't, but you want it to be good and a good thing for you as well, most especially in the long run for you, etc...

    You don't want to experience burn out later on, etc...

    The tortoise and the hare dear, the tortoise and the hare...

    God Bless!
     
  19. rose wabos

    rose wabos Member

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    Thank you!
     
  20. Neogaia777

    Neogaia777 Apprentice Supporter

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    That might be good, if your sister can go with you, but I would still, of course pray about it, but also seek counsel even with your sister going with you, if she does or would, and tell either your Dad or another pastor all about everything all about the whole situation also first also, K...? And see what they might advise or think, etc, K...?

    Be sure to tell them everything though, K...?

    God Bless!
     
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