Dealing with pride, judgment, and contempt

[Hakan101]

Hello everyone, there is something that has been bothering me for a long time. I have too much pride, too much self-righteousness towards others. I have a compulsion to criticize and demean, it is something that happens instinctively. I look at people and judge them over petty, superficial reasons. For some it is the way they dress, others the way they look, and others for the things they say (I interpret this as nonbelievers).

Granted I never show this outwardly, but it eats away at me inside. For instance, I work at McDonald's, and I see a great variety of people who come in and eat. I find myself feeling contempt towards them over the slightest things: they take too long to order, they order too much food, they eat at McDonald's too often, they don't have their change ready, they pay me with a $20 when they only ordered a dollar's worth, and the list goes on. It bothers me so much that working there turned from an easy, simple job to one I want to get out of. I know it is wrong to say this, but sometimes I can't stand having to serve those people.

Since becoming a Christian I have changed in many ways, but this is something that has become more evident as time passes. In my adolescence, I thought I would handle this by being mostly silent. If you can't say something nice say nothing at all, and so on. But this resulted in my feeling even more pride because I was angry that I "could not" speak my mind, and I became shy around people from not talking. Now in college, I am trying to become more open with people, but there have been several situations where I embarrassed myself with judgmental words.

I want to know if anyone here has dealt with these issues before, or is still dealing with them. What can we do? What passages from Scripture are useful for this matter? Please help me, thank you.

 

[Pal Handy]

Hello everyone, there is something that has been bothering me for a long time. I have too much pride, too much self-righteousness towards others. I have a compulsion to criticize and demean, it is something that happens instinctively. I look at people and judge them over petty, superficial reasons. For some it is the way they dress, others the way they look, and others for the things they say (I interpret this as nonbelievers).

Granted I never show this outwardly, but it eats away at me inside. For instance, I work at McDonald's, and I see a great variety of people who come in and eat. I find myself feeling contempt towards them over the slightest things: they take too long to order, they order too much food, they eat at McDonald's too often, they don't have their change ready, they pay me with a $20 when they only ordered a dollar's worth, and the list goes on. It bothers me so much that working there turned from an easy, simple job to one I want to get out of. I know it is wrong to say this, but sometimes I can't stand having to serve those people.

Since becoming a Christian I have changed in many ways, but this is something that has become more evident as time passes. In my adolescence, I thought I would handle this by being mostly silent. If you can't say something nice say nothing at all, and so on. But this resulted in my feeling even more pride because I was angry that I "could not" speak my mind, and I became shy around people from not talking. Now in college, I am trying to become more open with people, but there have been several situations where I embarrassed myself with judgmental words.

I want to know if anyone here has dealt with these issues before, or is still dealing with them. What can we do? What passages from Scripture are useful for this matter? Please help me, thank you.

My lifes story as it was my fathers and his before him,
all the way back to the first man.

It is called the sin nature and everyone has it and everyone
struggles with it in one form or another.

Pride is the original sin in which man called God a liar while believing that
he could choose for himself the best course of action while listening to lies.

It is good that you see this in your life and it is good that
you resist it and seek to change but I have news for you,
it is impossible for you to rid yourself of this nature.

But with God all things are possible.

You can only change with His help.
Only with God's help can you improve and grow.

If you rely on your own strength you will fail and not progress
very far until you give up and stop trying.

But if you enlist God into your battle against the old nature,
God will empower you to progress and become more Christ like each and every day.

And when you fail, you can run back to the source and begin again.

I am on this same path as you.

I see my old nature and I have struggled with it on my own and
found failure and disappointment until I found that the key is to surrender to God.

Surrender?

To be willing to let God do as He wishes in your life.
To ask God to have His way in your life.
To ask God daily to teach and empower you to become
the person He wants you to be instead of resisting His
purpose and plans in your life.

To ask God for more of His holy Spirit to empower you to overcome.

Zechariah 4:6
So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel:
‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.


I am not saying you are resisting but I certainly was.

A great book on this surrender to God is called "Absolute Surrender"
by Andrew Murray.

If it were up to me, every believer would read this book in which the author
describes this simple process of trusting in God enough to allow Him His way in your life.

You are on the right track, God is showing
you the areas in your life that He desires to change but remember,
you can't do it without God's help.

 

[Hakan101]

Thank you for your response. I think I know what you mean by surrender. I have always looked at my coming to Christianity as me surrendering to God and admitting I was wrong. But if I still feel this pride, perhaps I have not truly surrendered myself yet...

 

[Pal Handy]

Thank you for your response. I think I know what you mean by surrender. I have always looked at my coming to Christianity as me surrendering to God and admitting I was wrong. But if I still feel this pride, perhaps I have not truly surrendered myself yet...

Surrender is a life long endevour on our part.
To allow Jesus to become more than our savior and
to allow Him to be our Lord, our Abba, our Father is
a life long process but it is well worth it because His
way is always better than our way.

I want more than just to be saved, I want to know God in deeper ways
in this life and to see His hand in my life in greater ways.

I have tasted as David has declared, I tasted and seen that the Lord
is good and now I am looking for more.

Don't be satisfied with the status quo of others but instead let God
have His way in your life and I know you will be amazed at just how
good God is and how He delights in those that seek Him.

Hebrews 11:6
But without faith it is impossible to please Him,
for he who comes to God must believe that He is,
and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

 

[Lucid1]

Hello everyone, there is something that has been bothering me for a long time. I have too much pride, too much self-righteousness towards others. I have a compulsion to criticize and demean, it is something that happens instinctively. I look at people and judge them over petty, superficial reasons. For some it is the way they dress, others the way they look, and others for the things they say (I interpret this as nonbelievers).

Granted I never show this outwardly, but it eats away at me inside. For instance, I work at McDonald's, and I see a great variety of people who come in and eat. I find myself feeling contempt towards them over the slightest things: they take too long to order, they order too much food, they eat at McDonald's too often, they don't have their change ready, they pay me with a $20 when they only ordered a dollar's worth, and the list goes on. It bothers me so much that working there turned from an easy, simple job to one I want to get out of. I know it is wrong to say this, but sometimes I can't stand having to serve those people.

Since becoming a Christian I have changed in many ways, but this is something that has become more evident as time passes. In my adolescence, I thought I would handle this by being mostly silent. If you can't say something nice say nothing at all, and so on. But this resulted in my feeling even more pride because I was angry that I "could not" speak my mind, and I became shy around people from not talking. Now in college, I am trying to become more open with people, but there have been several situations where I embarrassed myself with judgmental words.

I want to know if anyone here has dealt with these issues before, or is still dealing with them. What can we do? What passages from Scripture are useful for this matter? Please help me, thank you.

I too was prideful in my early days after becoming saved. The devil does not want us to be saved, so after becoming Christians we get an even larger target painted on our backs and his whispers and influence become much more pronounced as a result.

Do not let your view of Pride get tainted by the world or what the devil would have you believe as he attempts to put his influences in your day to day life. It is ok to have and take pride in things. I take pride in being a Christian, but I do not let that pride manifest itself into judgements of others like I did in my early days as a Christian. I take pride in my work, my hobbies and anything else in my life that I do for God's Glory, but at the end of the day I give thanks to God for everything that I have now, because I have so much more now than before I turned my life over to God.

Spiritual growth is key here, and that growth can only come from going to Church, reading the Bible and pray..pray..praying! Take active steps in employing Gods tenants in your everyday life and that target on your back will get covered with God's divine shield. The target will always be there, but the devil will first have to go through God's Grace to get to it. The devil knows that's a battle that he would rather not to fight...

 

[Terene]

Hello everyone, there is something that has been bothering me for a long time. I have too much pride, too much self-righteousness towards others. I have a compulsion to criticize and demean, it is something that happens instinctively. I look at people and judge them over petty, superficial reasons. For some it is the way they dress, others the way they look, and others for the things they say (I interpret this as nonbelievers).

Granted I never show this outwardly, but it eats away at me inside. For instance, I work at McDonald's, and I see a great variety of people who come in and eat. I find myself feeling contempt towards them over the slightest things: they take too long to order, they order too much food, they eat at McDonald's too often, they don't have their change ready, they pay me with a $20 when they only ordered a dollar's worth, and the list goes on. It bothers me so much that working there turned from an easy, simple job to one I want to get out of. I know it is wrong to say this, but sometimes I can't stand having to serve those people.

Since becoming a Christian I have changed in many ways, but this is something that has become more evident as time passes. In my adolescence, I thought I would handle this by being mostly silent. If you can't say something nice say nothing at all, and so on. But this resulted in my feeling even more pride because I was angry that I "could not" speak my mind, and I became shy around people from not talking. Now in college, I am trying to become more open with people, but there have been several situations where I embarrassed myself with judgmental words.

I want to know if anyone here has dealt with these issues before, or is still dealing with them. What can we do? What passages from Scripture are useful for this matter? Please help me, thank you.

Dear brother,

I not only struggle with pride from time to time, I struggle with anger and frustration more often. Despite praying for quite some time to the Lord to help me overcome these tendencies, I have not yet completely shaken them off. Is it an infirmity of the flesh? Or is it my failure of submission to the Lord? I really don't know, but the fact that I live among unbelieving parents may have caused me to take longer to overcome them. I can only hope that the Lord will somehow work this out and help me to walk out of these infirmities as time goes by.

But what I do see from your situation is that you often have very prideful thoughts that trouble you. These thoughts could have too sources, your own flesh or the devil. Regardless, I believe you can indeed pray to the Lord to keep you humble at all times, and you can reform your thoughts through meditation of the Word. Whenever you realise you have a prideful or critical thought in your mind, reject it and start thinking about the humility and gentleness of Christ, and praise God for that. Yes, read the Word and learn how meek Christ is even towards His opposers, and you will be humbled yourself. The more you resist those wrong thoughts, the less you will have them and the less they trouble you. Negative thought patterns can be changed if we constantly make an effort to do so through the Word, that is why we are exhorted to "be transformed by the renewing of your mind" (Romans 12:2). If you feel that the thoughts are coming from the devil, simply resist him and ask him to go away from you in Jesus' Name.

Stay faithful to Jesus and don't be discouraged. God will honor those who diligently seek Him, seek Him and you will find the answer to all your troubles. May our God bless you much!

 

[lutherangerman]

Hakan, in german language we call such an issue "having a spirit of judgment". That doesn't mean a demon, but a mental setup of being too critical and judgmental towards other humans.

This can be caused by thinking of justice not as being based on love but as being based on rules. IE, you look at God as a governor or ruler, but not as the Father. Yes, God is Lord, but you must look at the way Jesus shows just what kind of Lord He is - washing His disciples' feet. And when Jesus is humble and acting as a servant, and mind you that Jesus is #1, then we should be like that all the more.

I would also recommend thinking about how you would like other people to treat you. Just how exactly would you feel if you went to McD and they hate you for having no small change?

I also recommend speaking about this issue frequently with friends, family, and church mates. As you have said you have tried to just keep silent, but if you still have constant thoughts like this you need fresh wind blowing into your mind which you can get through talking about this issue a lot. Otherwise it may become something rather compulsory and obsessional.

Another thing you could do to soften yourself there is to always say "God bless you" to all the customers at your McD restaurant. That could make you much kinder towards them.

All the best and God bless you, I have prayed for you!

 

[Emmy]

Dear Hakan101. In Matthew, chapter 22, verses 35-40, Jesus tells a Lawyer: " The first and great Commandment is: Love God with all thy heart, with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. The second is: Love thy neighbour as thyself." Straightforward and easy to remember, not easy to do, but it can be done. Jesus will give us His Love and Joy, and the Holy Spirit will give us His Love. Jesus told us: " Ask and ye will receive," accept it with thanks and use all your love , too. Share it with all around you, all you know and all you meet, and your whole character will change, you will become loving and caring and lose all your pride, judgment, and contempt. Ask Jesus to help you and guide you, and keep remembering that God made us all in His image. God is Love and God wants loving children/sons and daughters. If those unbidden thoughts plague you, remember that God is on your side, and with God on our side who, or what, can be against us? Start by treating everybode as you would love to be treated, Hakan, and God will see you and approve. God will bless you and God will know that you love Him, because you follow His Commandments to LOVE. Love is a Christian`s weapon to overcome all temptation, whether pride, judgment, contempt and even worse. I say this with love. Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.