Dealing with my married pastor

[BigDaddy4]

He clearly said he was not suggesting that at all, but that it may be a sign that they were never saved to begin with.

Is it our place to speculate on who is or is not saved? Does one look at someone who sins as a sign they may not be saved? That's a slippery slope to go down. Moses sinned, David sinned. People sin. Is Jesus the only one who is saved since he never sinned?

By the way, the poster who I originally responded to did suggest such a thing, which I think was reckless.

 

[Mayflower1]

I realize sometimes it is hard to turn off attraction to a person, but I think maybe talking to your husband and making sure he knows the situation and that you would never want to do anything to harm yalls marriage or anything, that would be a key way to go. I would have a hard time turning off attraction when I was single, to both single/married men. Id never dream of doing anything and was a virgin until I married my husband. But, Im personally one of those who is like an open book. I hate it, especially when I am sad or something. Everyone knows and I don't have to say a word. Lol

But yeh...just keep open communication with your hubby. I don't think anything needs to be said to your pastor unless it either makes you very comfortable, or it progresses to something else. It is excellent you recognize your feelings and the issues involved. Good for you.

I might also not hang out except for church events with your husband or not.

 

[Mountainmanbob]

He clearly said he was not suggesting that at all, but that it may be a sign that they were never saved to begin with.

Thank you.
That's exactly what I meant.

And I've seen that played out all so often.
How about -- I never knew you.

M

 

[Hazelelponi]

Thank you John. I have been doing a lot of self examination and have seen I think the deeper problem lies within my own marriage, which I also have spoke to my husband about. Intimacy is very rare and my husband shows really no interest in me most of the time. He never compliments me so when other men do, it feels nice. I also feel like I have to force intimacy out of him which makes it almost unenjoyable. We think it’s medication related and we’re going to ask his PCP to switch his anxiety med, which is all he takes. I’m not excusing me being flirtatious because of any this but I can see how it all plays in to my behavior at times. So we’re working on both our marriage and me distancing myself from any tempting situations. I really pray all this keeps my mind and behavior holy and I don’t find myself drifting. Thank you all for your hard but good advice!

I was thinking man, your not used to men flirting with you then because I can shut down flirting pretty hard, all while smiling... lol.

This now makes sense. Your marriage is in that gotten a bit too comfortable space, and lost a bit of romance...

All you can do is what your doing. Avoid the temptation which means avoid the situations where sin might occur (no more private conversations) and concentrate a bit more on spicing up the marriage. Try a romantic get away weekend, some new lingerie on a weeknight, just some things to change it up and make it new again with hubby.

He'll not pick up on it immediately, but he'll eventually get it through his thick head, that you want a bit more attention from him. And don't be shy telling him either (keep the Pastor out of that conversation)...

 

[Mountainmanbob]

If I wonder if it is or isn't a sin
it's probably a sin
and the Bible tells me to flee.

Times when I didn't
turned out not too pretty.

M

 

[BigDaddy4]

Thank you.
That's exactly what I meant.

And I've seen that played out all so often.
How about -- I never knew you.

M

You might want to check the Forum Rules about questioning another poster's salvation. Hint: Not allowed.
"may be a sign that they were never saved to begin with."

The OP is asking for advice on how to deal with a situation and the best some posters have is to question their salvation?? That's just wrong.

How about -- are you willing to throw the first stone? Or judge not lest ye be judged?

I can throw out Scripture references, too. But that won't help the OP.