Deal-breakers

[jess9450]

I was thinking today about relationship/dating deal-breakers. What are some of your deal-breakers for dating?

The reason I ask is because I have recently gotten to know someone, and we met up for coffee this afternoon. While he is a nice person, he and I have some very different opinions about theology and the roles of men and women in the church. These opinions seem to be so contrasting to my own that I do not think I could comfortably pursue a relationship with this man.


What about some of your own experiences?

I know that some people have been talking about trolls around here starting pointless threads, so I apologize if this has already been discussed...

 

[twnsrkr]

What I have done is written out a list of character traits, personality types, etc. that I either want, or are must-haves. This way, whenever I meet someone, I can factually disqualify or approve them without emotion or attraction deluding the issue.

 

[anewday]

Controlling, manipulative behaviors.

 

[wannaberocker]

prob someones whos religious views dont match mine.

 

[Going Merry]

Well sleeping with someone other than me used to be a deal breaker but I guess it's not. So I guess I don't know my deal breakers fully. But I guess I dislike smokers / drinkers, people who are too emotional, people who have a superiority complex, etc.

 

[Pierre101]

Smoking.
Loud and annoying.
Smoking.
Selfishness.
Undependable.

Uhh... I'll think of some more stuff later.

 

[Neve]

Atheism, severe mental issues, and chronic illegal drug use are deal breakers for me. And I might get some heat for this, but certain races (black) are deal breakers.

Social smoking is okay. Tattoos and moderately drinking is okay.

Also, can't have any children from a prior relationship - dealing with an ex all the time will just strain a relationship.

 

[SweetDee]

Someone who doesn't breathe.


Major deal breaker.

 

[Dzhessika]

Smoker

Heavy drinker

Swears

Doesn't want kids

Not affectionate

Doesn't like animals

Couch potatoe / plays video games hours on end

Disrespectful

 

[dryvrgrl]

being married (separated is STILL MARRIED)
smoker (not biblical reason.. because its gross)
wont date a drinker
different beliefs on Faith (same book, different page kinda thing)
someone who is not over their ex
racist (i have an mixed race grandchild anyone says anything neg to me about race, i take it as an insult against ME.. we are ALL in His image)
and last but not least, if a guy ever hits me again, it will be the LAST thing he EVER does
ok i think thats about it

 

[Rhye]

I think one of my biggest has been if he doesn't want to have children. We would be on different pages in life. Though I would respect that, I wouldn't also want to force someone. Knowing from the get go is very important. And even if (God forbid) I am not able to have children, I want children in our lives (adopting, working with, etc.). It is huge part of who I am and knowing he wants that as well is comforting to me.

 

[jess9450]

being married (separated is STILL MARRIED)
smoker (not biblical reason.. because its gross)
wont date a drinker
different beliefs on Faith (same book, different page kinda thing)
someone who is not over their ex
racist (i have an mixed race grandchild anyone says anything neg to me about race, i take it as an insult against ME.. we are ALL in His image)
and last but not least, if a guy ever hits me again, it will be the LAST thing he EVER does
ok i think thats about it

this is probably a deal breaker here for me as well.

 

[dryvrgrl]

i meant to say 'I wont date a drinker" it reads like ill break a deal if they wont date a drinker, as in im a drinker.. lol im not, but wont date a drinker.. like maybe a beer at a football game or a glass of wine kinda drinker but not a drunkard..

 

[dryvrgrl]

I think one of my biggest has been if he doesn't want to have children. We would be on different pages in life. Though I would respect that, I wouldn't also want to force someone. Knowing from the get go is very important. And even if (God forbid) I am not able to have children, I want children in our lives (adopting, working with, etc.). It is huge part of who I am and knowing he wants that as well is comforting to me.

You Will Be GREAT with Children Sweetie!! I just feel the love in that message.. its coming!!

 

[Toro]

I'm pretty easy, no lying and no games.

I also want kid(s).

 

[MehGuy]

-Unattractive
-Religious *Well I might be able to overlook this, as long as she agrees that we're not raising any potential kids with religion.*
-Too vanilla

 

[Niels]

Negative
Ulterior motives
Impatient
Smoker
Heavy drinker
Opposed to having biological kids
Unimaginative
Doesn’t appreciate music or art
Untrustworthy
Quick to find fault in others
Dislikes cats
Know it all (Intelligence, curiosity, and knowledge are great... but arrogance is not.)
Couch potato
Clashing values

 

[Toro]

Wow whats up with all the smoker hate? lol people CAN change you know geez.

Both a nonsmoker can become a smoker and a smoker a non smoker.

 

[Rhye]

You Will Be GREAT with Children Sweetie!! I just feel the love in that message.. its coming!!

Thank you!

 

[tahoe]

I think the two biggest ones for me would be different beliefs/views on theology like the OP mentioned, and non-outdoorsy. Maybe veganism...and smurfs, I could never date a smurf hater