Dealbreakers for me would be:
isn't really doing anything career wise or schooling, etc. but always has a plan to get started "tomorrow"...(which basically means he's looking for you to support him)
Ok, I'm just going to say something about this,for better or worse.
I don't know you, so I don't think the word "hypocritical" could necessarily apply to you, so don't take that too personally.
But isn't it hypocritical in that most Christian women seem to want a man to provide for them and a family of 2 or 3 kids, by working full time job 40-60 hours per week, while they sit around the house and watch soaps? Particularly in the early years when they don't even have kids?
I even saw on television one of these "victorian age" women, and have also heard some of the women teachers on Christian radio saying that a woman "needs" to stay at home and learn to clean house and whatever during the early years of marriage, etc.
I say, "Lol"? Didn't she learn that during like the first 18 years of her life or something? And what's up with guys that won't cook, do dishes, or wash and fold clothes?
This was coming from women who call themselves pastors or else the leaders of the women's ministries, and what they are teaching completely contradicts the description of a virtuous woman given in proverbs 31.
The virtuous woman in proverbs 31 is not a "stay at home wife"! In spite of what is taught by many in church, both male and female. Read it for yourself. She is a business person and even an entrepreneur. She buys and sells land, she plants crops, she makes and sells clothing and other goods.
On the other hand, if a man makes more than enough, people don't find it odd if the woman is in fact a stay at home wife. So, and I'm not using this as an excuse for anyone to be a bum, but then why should anyone find it odd if a woman makes a lot of money and the man makes little or none? Maybe he's a preacher who doesn't abuse his office like the fakes on television, for example. Its basically completely hypocritical and even sexist, especially since we live in an age where even economists and psychologists are starting to admit men are increasingly at a disadvantage in many of the highest paying fields due to upbringing and other social pressures.
Guys are expected to be a "manly man," and yet the only jobs that actually pay a decent wage any more are ones that have traditionally been female oriented.
I know a little of what I'm talking about too, because I did their tax returns. A surprising number of the women among young couples make two, three, even five times as much money as their OLDER husband, especially if they are in medical, legal, or accounting professions. Here I am speaking of couples where the woman is 23-33 years old.
If I took the best year I've ever had for income, working an average of 44 hours per week, and multiplied it by 4, it still would barely equal what a pharmacist makes, and would not equal a nurse educator makes working 36-40 hours per week.
My four years younger sister works 36 hours per week, and makes more than twice as much per year as I ever made working an average of 44, and every time I see her she can't shut up smiling and laughing about her job, and she never even realized how much money she was making. When she did her first tax return after "almost" a full year, she was shocked to see how much money she made. She makes more than her husband, and he is the highest payed man in his job, which is commission based.
So why should I even try to compete with that? I can't.
Why should a guy go kill himself working like that 40, 50, at times 60 hours per week, if women can make 2, 3, 4 or more times as much money in as little as half the time, and come home with a smile on her face?
Why would I want to work that much, or why would such a woman want a man to work that much? Every hour he's at work is an hour he isn't with her or the kids anyway.
