dating overseas

[bèlla]

That's true, But I think I'm the only Asian who doesn't care for worldly success/achievements/make parents very proud or at least make it a high priority. I have completely different reasons for making money.

I think that’s why he couldn’t pursue academia. His father asked him when he’d make some money! He was doing extremely well and had worked at 2 Ivy’s. He was trying for the Forbes 30 under 30. His sister was an engineer.

In spite of that I respected his relationship with his parents and the esteem he had for them. He was very supportive and pushed me too. I started riding because he made me get the bike. ~lol

I can't even play a single musical instrument! I maybe Asian but I'm more Canadian at heart!

How funny. He loved British and French sensibilities. We had that in common.

I didn't know this, thanks!

Oftentimes they’re socialites. If you’ve got a cause you’ll fare well if you know your share. They’re adept at raising money and soliciting support. ;-)

 

[timewerx]

This is a first. I can’t recollect anyone who’d say the same. Unless the alternative was significantly worse. Most are hoping to be freed from those conditions.

I personally know few rich Asians who works in sweatshop environment. They don't do the hard labor, they manage the shop or own it. But the environment they work is dark, hot, humid, noisy, dusty, sometimes smelly, unsanitary, and surrounded by old equipment.

Some who did have air conditioning didn't have windows in their office.

Mostly the Baby Boomer up to Gen X generation of Asians. Classic Asians who weren't exposed to Western culture.

One should ask the question, are our needs or wants our own or influenced by others or by the things we see around us? Or the place we grew up in?

We make our own reality.... The worldly concept is about what makes the most money. The other one is taking a step in the opposite direction. The "other one" doesn't always make you rich but at least, you get to see the Truth if you decide to look for it.

I actually used to dream of having my own office space in a nice tall building with a view. I almost did. But nowadays, hot, humid, old, no view, doesn't matter anymore, kinda cool actually. Like you're doing something incredibly clandestine but not really!

 

[ThisIsMe123]

This is a first. I can’t recollect anyone who’d say the same. Unless the alternative was significantly worse. Most are hoping to be freed from those conditions.

It was a bit hyperbolic, what I had expressed. The fact her boss made her play nurse maid to her kid to the point of cutting our dates short and overall impacting her social life. I'd say it's more indentured servitude.

 

[bèlla]

But the environment they work is dark, hot, humid, noisy, dusty, sometimes smelly, unsanitary, and surrounded by old equipment.

Sweatshop has a different connotation in our culture. Not quite a workhouse but not far from it. Not all business settings are pretty. For some, that atmosphere is impractical due to the nature of the work.

One should ask the question, are our needs or wants our own or influenced by others or by the things we see around us? Or the place we grew up in?

I think the answer differs for everyone. There are aspects that reflect my upbringing, exposure, and personal interest.

The "other one" doesn't always make you rich but at least, you get to see the Truth if you decide to look for it.

For me, its more important that I utilize the gifts and talents the Lord bestowed and fulfill my purpose. Money would follow whether I worked, built a business, or married well. I don’t have a sense of scarcity where its concerned.

I used to dream of living the life I turned down. I wanted to spend my days doing charitable work and expanding my mind. But it really isn't gone. Its coming in a different guise with a leading man I didn’t expect. God isn’t done.

 

[bèlla]

It was a bit hyperbolic, what I had expressed. The fact her boss made her play nurse maid to her kid to the point of cutting our dates short and overall impacting her social life. I'd say it's more indentured servitude.

That’s terrible. I saw your other post. I hope she breaks free.

 

[timewerx]

I think the answer differs for everyone. There are aspects that reflect my upbringing, exposure, and personal interest.

I went through dramatic cycles in life from plenty to desperate at a mature age and with the gift of observation, I have a unique perspective of the world and the study of God's Words.

The concept of what's right and wrong is more distinct. I knew them even before knowing them from the Bible. It's different actually living them than just reading them.

I went from a white collar dude to a blue collar. I can't exactly say I miss the life. Now I see the plenty of things wrong with it. I renders many blind.

Everyone wants the best seat in the house or the table but the Lord says, that seat's ain't for you.

 

[bèlla]

I went from a white collar dude to a blue collar. I can't exactly say I miss the life. Now I see the plenty of things wrong with it. I renders many blind.

That isn’t an issue of job title or plenty but our propensity to be accustomed to life’s norms. You live in a third world country. There are many things which may be considered luxuries in your mind that are every day realities for a US resident. We don’t give it a second thought.

Everyone wants the best seat in the house or the table but the Lord says, that seat's ain't for you.

But the Lord’s answer for one is rarely the same for another. He knows what we can handle and the circumstances that improve our character.

Where many go awry is the assumption their outcome is the way it is for everyone else. Abundance comes in many forms. God chooses its dispense.

As a child, we weren’t permitted to focus on other people’s possessions. That included little things like snacks (you gave him more statements) to larger issues. It was none of our business. We were expected to focus on our portion and be content.

For me, seeing another have something I desire is not an affront or an example of unfairness. The only thing I must consider is whether I want it bad enough to attain it. I never say its impossible or not available. Everything under the heavens belongs to God. But I may determine the cost isn’t worth the effort.

I don’t think its my place to question or condemn what the Lord has given another or make them feel guilty. I value sober-mindedness and desire a companion who appreciates nice things but isn’t wooed or ruled by them. But I won’t spend my life apologizing for my possessions, comfort, or anything He’s bestowed. We shouldn’t have to.

 

[timewerx]

That isn’t an issue of job title or plenty but our propensity to be accustomed to life’s norms. You live in a third world country. There are many things which may be considered luxuries in your mind that are every day realities for a US resident. We don’t give it a second thought.

As I told earlier, I lived and worked for some time in USA, Hong Kong and other countries. At some point, I was making six digits in US dollars!

So I know the "good" life. I got used to it and didn't see anything wrong with it at the time and I'm already Christian by then.

But then I changed. I became aware of things I couldn't deny. The troubles helped me see things I didn't see before.

The Muslims would say, persecuting Christians is okay, because they grew up in it. It's their culture, it's what they've been taught their whole lives. They can't see it yet because it's all they seen. But still doesn't make it right.

 

[blackribbon]

Everyone wants the best seat in the house or the table but the Lord says, that seat's ain't for you.

Not everyone. I have spent my life giving my place to others. I don't want to be in the front row or even noticed. My professions have always been ones of service. I know plenty of others who give both from their plenty and from their poorness. This is not to glorify me but rather to show Christ's love the way I believe it should be showed. I am not the only one that is like this either.

And if you were making 6 figures, you were more financially successful in the country I have served all my life. And yet, you talk about my country not being fair to you because you can't immigrate in easily as you want to.

I see things like the woman whose husband died suddenly, then she lost her house because she couldn't make the mortgage, then her rental burned down in fire, and she had no money to buy her needed insulin and was hospitalized for complications related to uncontrolled diabetes...and really, she was just in the "all I want to do is cry because I miss him" stage of grief. I was trying to help her find a way to the homeless shelter she was going to at discharge so she wouldn't have to walk (not capable of walking that far). I believe we did provide a bus pass (thank goodness). And I am sorry if I believe that as a native born citizen of this country, she deserves to be helped before a foreign national who actually does have a roof over his/her head. No other country is going to help her. And yes, we have plenty of our own poor people and limited amount of money to help people. Often it isn't about selfishness or greed, but rather limitations of being human and the situation.

 

[timewerx]

And if you were making 6 figures, you were more financially successful in the country I have served all my life. And yet, you talk about my country not being fair to you because you can't immigrate in easily as you want to.

It wasn't a cooperating immigration that got me to USA but a large company that is requesting my presence in their offices in USA. I was already employed with them (in my country) long before they sent me to USA. It was they who worked my papers in the immigration but only for work visa (not immigrant class visa).

They had to adjust my salary to same rates given to the same class of workers and it blew my mind, its over 10x I'm making in my country!

I worked in a field that is in high demand in the country and made some good cash. But that was more than a decade ago. Things were changing rapidly and coupled with some major blunders, I'm out. Eventually hitting rock bottom. I mean totally out, all that money saved, gone.

Been high up, been down low. Makes you see who your real friends are and fortunately, I still have quite a few, down from many!

I see things like the woman whose husband died suddenly, then she lost her house because she couldn't make the mortgage, then her rental burned down in fire, and she had no money to buy her needed insulin and was hospitalized for complications related to uncontrolled diabetes...and really, she was just in the "all I want to do is cry because I miss him" stage of grief. I was trying to help her find a way to the homeless shelter she was going to at discharge so she wouldn't have to walk (not capable of walking that far). I believe we did provide a bus pass (thank goodness). And I am sorry if I believe that as a native born citizen of this country, she deserves to be helped before a foreign national who actually does have a roof over his/her head. No other country is going to help her. And yes, we have plenty of our own poor people and limited amount of money to help people. Often it isn't about selfishness or greed, but rather limitations of being human and the situation.

That's awful! I know those stories in USA.

Just to make myself clear, I'm not asking any of you to help a foreigner if there are people locally that are in a similarly desperate situation, they need to be helped first.

 

[bèlla]

But then I changed. I became aware of things I couldn't deny. The troubles helped me see things I didn't see before.

You learned those lessons through your loss. That’s what it took to open your eyes. I don’t know what you were like when you made a lot of money.

But money has never owned me. Nor did I believe I was better than the next. Or oblivious to the plight others. I volunteered for Rotary/Rotaract and the Junior League in my twenties. Giving to others was a staple of my upbringing.

It sounds like you had a different mindset that could only be rectified through hardship. You are still speaking from that position. Time will tell if you hold that line when your fortunes improve. Most do not.

 

[bèlla]

Just to make myself clear, I'm not asking any of you to help a foreigner if there are people locally that are in a similarly desperate situation, they need to be helped first.

That is my conviction. I stopped supporting charities that fund overseas projects. I think there’s enough poverty and issues in America that require aid. I needn’t look elsewhere.

 

[blackribbon]

Just to make myself clear, I'm not asking any of you to help a foreigner if there are people locally that are in a similarly desperate situation, they need to be helped first.

But that is what we are doing if we allow in people to immigrate who do not already have a job lined up or do not have highly sought after skills. We end up using government and charity funds to help people from other countries instead of helping those who are already here. There are only so many dollars to go around.