dating overseas

[blackribbon]

I know that many people on this forum have talked about seeking spouses across country borders though international online dating. I was wonder if people research what it takes and costs to bring a non-citizen to your country or what it would take to move legally to theirs before you actually try this? I have immigrant friends and I know that it is an expensive undertaking to come to come to the US (they met their spouse in person and fell in love the old fashion way when the American was working in their country). And after watching some of the 90 day Fiance shows, it is seems like people who date online often are not financially stable enough and/or spend money they don't have to bring someone over here.

Anyone trying this route?

 

[Heavenhome]

I don't think enough research does go into the finances, the culture, as well as a lot of other things.
Whilst being online brings the world closer to us it also can leave people who may be vulnerable to others that may be dishonest.
When it is overseas it makes things a lot harder to get to know the person, even their photos can be dodgy.
You mentioned your friends met their partners when working in the country which makes things better than simply on line.

I think it would be wise to review the expense and viability of the person coming into the country. One other thing is why is it usually the person that wants to come into the country usually relies on the other one to pay?
I can understand that they may be in a country with not much wealth but you have to be very careful.
And above all pray and listen to God, not just only if it goes along with what you want.

 

[Heavenhome]

And after watching 90 day Fiance being stable is certainly not a prerequisite!!!!

This show is a weakness of mine I've got to admit

 

[Lost4words]

In my case, one has to take into account quarantine.

 

[timewerx]

I was wonder if people research what it takes and costs to bring a non-citizen to your country or what it would take to move legally to theirs before you actually try this? I have immigrant friends and I know that it is an expensive undertaking to come to come to the US (they met their spouse in person and fell in love the old fashion way when the American was working in their country). And after watching some of the 90 day Fiance shows, it is seems like people who date online often are not financially stable enough and/or spend money they don't have to bring someone over here.

Anyone trying this route?

It depends on which country they come from. If they can come to USA as tourists "Visa-free", the immigration processing is a lot cheaper and faster. No need to worry here. It's just a matter of deciding who makes the move to which country.

Countries like European Union members, Canada, Australia, etc.

However for countries like Mexico, Bangladesh, they can't come to USA visa-free. Immigration processing is a lot longer and far more expensive.

The irony eh?? People from rich countries can come to USA cheaply. People from poor countries have to undergo very long VISA processing and a long list of additional expenses. Goes to show the prince of this world is the devil...

For an American to immigrate to other countries, not really a problem. There tends to have special dispensation for immigrants from USA, EU, etc.. The process is far quicker and cheaper.. Than if you're coming from Mexico

I hate this world...Won't shed a tear for it if tomorrow, it's gone!

Sorry for sharing my sentiments.

As an American citizen, there's a lot less hassles for you to move. Likewise, if you're prospective partner is from EU, etc... They can move to USA easily.

BUT if your partner is from Mexico, it's potentially a huge headache!

 

[blackribbon]

It depends on which country they come from. If they can come to USA as tourists "Visa-free", the immigration processing is a lot cheaper and faster. No need to worry here. It's just a matter of deciding who makes the move to which country.

Countries like European Union members, Canada, Australia, etc.

However for countries like Mexico, Bangladesh, they can't come to USA visa-free. Immigration processing is a lot longer and far more expensive.

The irony eh?? People from rich countries can come to USA cheaply. People from poor countries have to undergo very long VISA processing and a long list of additional expenses. Goes to show the prince of this world is the devil...

For an American to immigrate to other countries, not really a problem. There tends to have special dispensation for immigrants from USA, EU, etc.. The process is far quicker and cheaper.. Than if you're coming from Mexico

I hate this world...Won't shed a tear for it if tomorrow, it's gone!

Sorry for sharing my sentiments.

As an American citizen, there's a lot less hassles for you to move. Likewise, if you're prospective partner is from EU, etc... They can move to USA easily.

BUT if your partner is from Mexico, it's potentially a huge headache!

Or could it be that we want our new US immigrants to be not dependent on government handouts? Regardless of where your foreign spouse is from, you have to be able to prove that you can support them without them needing government welfare. (Ironic, because if you come in illegally, some seem to believe we should give them welfare and everything for free).

And actually, while it is valid to get married while on a tourist visa to the US, if you get the tourist visa with the purpose of getting married while in the US, you are committing visa fraud and the permanent resident status may very well be denied even though you are married. If you happen to meet and fall in love while visiting and get married, that is legal but comes with it's own need to prove that it wasn't a planned marriage.

And then there are still a lot of expenses related to getting the green card status even if you are already here.

 

[blackribbon]

It depends on which country they come from. If they can come to USA as tourists "Visa-free", the immigration processing is a lot cheaper and faster. No need to worry here. It's just a matter of deciding who makes the move to which country.

Countries like European Union members, Canada, Australia, etc.

However for countries like Mexico, Bangladesh, they can't come to USA visa-free. Immigration processing is a lot longer and far more expensive.

The irony eh?? People from rich countries can come to USA cheaply. People from poor countries have to undergo very long VISA processing and a long list of additional expenses. Goes to show the prince of this world is the devil...

For an American to immigrate to other countries, not really a problem. There tends to have special dispensation for immigrants from USA, EU, etc.. The process is far quicker and cheaper.. Than if you're coming from Mexico

I hate this world...Won't shed a tear for it if tomorrow, it's gone!

Sorry for sharing my sentiments.

As an American citizen, there's a lot less hassles for you to move. Likewise, if you're prospective partner is from EU, etc... They can move to USA easily.

BUT if your partner is from Mexico, it's potentially a huge headache!

My sister is married to a Mexican citizen. He was living here on a green card when she met him. He had already jumped thorough the legal immigration process.

I didn't know about the Visa Waiver program. Interesting. Here are the 38 countries on that program.
Andorra (1991)
Australia (1996)
Austria (1991)
Belgium (1991)
Brunei (1993)
Chile (2014)
Czech Republic (2008)
Denmark (1991)
Estonia (2008)
Finland (1991)
France (1989)
Germany (1989)
Greece (2010)
Hungary (2008)
Iceland (1991)
Ireland (1995)
Italy (1989)
Japan (1988)
Korea, Republic of (2008)
Latvia (2008)
Liechtenstein (1991)
Lithuania (2008)
Luxembourg (1991)
Malta (2008)
Monaco (1991)
Netherlands (1989)
New Zealand (1991)
Norway (1991)
Portugal (1999)
San Marino (1991)
Singapore (1999)
Slovakia (2008)
Slovenia (1997)
Spain (1991)
Sweden (1989)
Switzerland (1989)
Taiwan (2012)
United Kingdom** (1988)

I suspect that the list has more to do with ally and friendly nation status than "rich" versus "poor" nations.

 

[bèlla]

I’ve known several people who did this years ago. Present company included. I think our youth played a part. And the Internet was less developed. But the expenses were significant and long distance wasn’t free.

Although I don’t discuss it much on this site, I think finances and relocation should be the first considerations before any long distance relationship is undertaken. I’ve watched a lot unfold within the US and internationally and had my share.

As a rule, the old adage holds true. A bird and fish may fall in love but where will they build their nest? This is the number one omission of starry-eyed lovers. Their emotions carry them to the point where they’ve neglected practical considerations. Or minimize them.

Expense. Somewhere in the back of their mind they believe modest meetings will suffice. They don’t factor in the emotional stress and longing. This can get increasingly bad if finances are tight.

While Skype is an option that didn’t exist when I went down this road. That is a minor help. I used a similar service and tired of it quickly. I wanted to relax in bed on the phone like a normal person. Some used calling cards but I took advantage of long distance specials. Including one that gave me frequent flier miles. I earned a lot.

Travel requires flexibility. Which means tickets and accommodations. In many instances people stay together. I’m not advocating it but being honest. Unless they had the resources or hotel points this adds up quickly for every visit.

In the past, I participated in a travel forum that told us how to amplify miles and points. I was doing both before I started dating out of my vicinity. And in most instances, the person came here since my schedule was busier.

In today’s market finances are number one. The biggest consideration is whether the individual can support two people on one income. There’s no guarantee a work visa will be given. There may be a significant delay.

If they have a traditional employer, they would need to seek a transfer or apply for a position elsewhere. It happens and sometimes a person desires to move in a specific locale or job market. But in most situations that isn’t the case.

Thus, the one with the greatest stability should stay put. This is especially true for long tenures of employment that are beneficial. I don’t advise throwing that away. The person with the most flexibility or least opportunities should relocate. That is the ideal scenario.

Since I’m location independent, that’s always me. My first consideration is whether he lives somewhere I’m willing to move. I’ve specified certain regions as preferable in my profile to alleviate worldwide inquiries. Though it still happens.

Out of the four people I engaged with last year. One was local. The other lived one state over and the latter two elsewhere. Relocation was addressed in every one. The local prospect was considering a move to the Carolinas and wanted to know if it was a possibility for me. That was our first date. But I understood his reasoning. You need to get that squared away early on.

In my experience, this topic comes up after general discussions or may be woven in to gauge your suitability. But as things progress the question will be raised. The most promising of the lot made it clear he expected me to move and wanted it to occur in a specific time frame. He didn’t want a drawn out long distance relationship.

Internationally speaking, I would only consider a digital entrepreneur. That’s narrow but their work allows them to live anywhere and most are location independent. This alleviates the issue with money. This is especially true if you want to stay put.

I would not import anyone without an income. Green card shopping still occurs and caution is needed. And I wouldn’t consider someone who hails from a place I have no desire to live. Homesickness can occur. If you can’t imagine yourself living there don’t assume it won’t come up. Especially if they came to you.

I’d insist on a thorough background check and review their finances to make sure you’re not being scammed or exploited. Blind trust has led to unpleasant endings.

For ladies, I’m more explicit. If he’s unable to bear the cost or a portion, I don’t get involved. Many times their resources aren’t as plentiful as they suggest. I’ve seen many run through savings because of this.

Both must be financially stable and able to afford it. Men must guard against damsels in distress. Or those who appear perfect with modest means. Unless they’re willing to provide without expectation of financial contribution.

Frequent visits are a must. I can’t underscore this enough. You can’t gauge someone’s character that you see four times per year in limited intervals. You should expect many surprises. Pleasant and otherwise.

Monthly at the very least. More so if you can make it work.

 

[timewerx]

I didn't know about the Visa Waiver program. Interesting. Here are the 38 countries on that program.
I suspect that the list has more to do with ally and friendly nation status than "rich" versus "poor" nations.

What I really meant by "rich" is having high per capita income.

My country is ally and friendly with USA but our per capita is lot less than any of the country in your list.

It's a lot more to do with per capita income

Even Mexico have significantly less per capita, and my country, even less than Mexico!

Thankfully, the world would no longer be like this when Jesus comes!

 

[blackribbon]

What I really meant by "rich" is having high per capita income.

My country is ally and friendly with USA but our per capita is lot less than any of the country in your list.

It's a lot more to do with per capita income

There are a lot of allies and friendlies not on the list. You are correct. You have never mentioned your country that I have noted so I can't talk to the specifics of why it may or may not be on the list. Do a lot of people from your country want to come here for business or vacation purposes only and have the means to do so, if the visa process wasn't involved?

 

[VMaeLove]

It is more important to communicate if you try long distance relationships. Words can be a misunderstanding which can lead to a broken heart.

I do not recommend it.

 

[blackribbon]

Now I'm wondering. Do these have the same deal with us? Can we travel to these same countries visa-less for business or vacation? I have never gone anywhere other than Canada and Mexico. But my daughter has the traveling bug after visiting Japan.

 

[timewerx]

Do a lot of people from your country want to come here for business or vacation purposes only and have the means to do so, if the visa process wasn't involved?

Yup, myself included.

It's really about money. Saudi Arabia is not on the list but they are let off easy in the VIsa program with their very high per capita income.

This is how Saudi Arabian terrorist cell members can easily come to USA... Oh and Russian spies and crime syndicates for that matter...

The love of money is the root of all evil

 

[bèlla]

It is more important to communicate if you try long distance relationships. Words can be a misunderstanding which can lead to a broken heart.

I do not recommend it.

I think communication coupled with earned trustworthiness is a must. And that is someone who keeps their word in small and large matters.

 

[blackribbon]

Yup, myself included.

It's really about money. Saudi Arabia is not on the list but they are let off easy in the VIsa program with their very high per capita income.

This is how Saudi Arabian terrorist cell members can easily come to USA...

The love of money is the root of all evil

You have the money to travel to the US for vacation? Something must be wrong with me because I LIVE here and can't usually scrape together the money to vacation in the US.

 

[bèlla]

Now I'm wondering. Do these have the same deal with us? Can we travel to these same countries visa-less for business or vacation? I have never gone anywhere other than Canada and Mexico. But my daughter has the traveling bug after visiting Japan.

No visa required.

 

[timewerx]

Now I'm wondering. Do these have the same deal with us? Can we travel to these same countries visa-less for business or vacation? I have never gone anywhere other than Canada and Mexico. But my daughter has the traveling bug after visiting Japan.

Lucky for you, nope.

My aunt didn't have a dual citizenship. Only has US citizenship but can easily visit us hassle free.

 

[blackribbon]

Lucky for you, nope.

My aunt didn't have a dual citizenship. Only has US citizenship but can easily visit us hassle free.

Actually, I think the visa-free list is reciprocal. I also know that a lot of countries that we require visas from allow us without a Visa (your aunt's situation). It could change at any time if Americans started sneaking into other countries on a regular basis or became terrorist threats to those countries.

 

[timewerx]

You have the money to travel to the US for vacation? Something must be wrong with me because I LIVE here and can't usually scrape together the money to vacation in the US.

It was possible for me last year but doing it via backpacking.

The catch is I have to continue working. My work is online so I can work anytime, anywhere. But not this year, paying for hospital debts. I can't even travel around my own country this time.

 

[blackribbon]

It was possible for me last year but doing it via backpacking.

The catch is I have to continue working. My work is online so I can work anytime, anywhere. But not this year, paying for hospital debts. I can't even travel around my own country this time.

Where would you backpack? And where would you stay for cheap? I know the summer I worked at a camp where a lot of British girls worked so they could travel were dumbfounded as to how large the US was and most had to change their plans significantly when they realized that it wasn't possible to see all the sites they wanted to see via bus in a month or two. All their time was spent on the bus getting places and not actually seeing things. A group ended up riding home with one counselor who lived in Florida (a couple day drive) and then back back to NYC up the coast together. They thought they would be able to see both coasts...and didn't even make it inland.

Do you have a specific place in mind? We don't have many hostels. And buses don't go near the campgrounds. And it is illegal to just sleep on a bench or a public park even if a lot of homeless people do do it some places.