dating over a distance

[canehdianhotstuff]

ahhh where to start...

well i suposse with the girl hehe

i live in ontario canada, she lives in Tulsa Oklahoma...

we're 1425.9 miles apart...which really sucks...and yes right now it is an internet thingy and phone cause its only 2 cents a minute for her to call me through internet...

i just find it kinda hard to be aprt like this, i so believe is can work, just hard to i guess...i reall y have no idea why im typing this up but anyways

yeah...

 

[Inperfected]

Hmmm.. it's hard isn't it?

Stay close to god, it will help with the lonesomeness, and just keep the contact up..

Hard so i dno't know what else to say really...

 

[~Beauty_from_Pain~]

Just a few questions here. Have you ever met her? How long have you known her?

The long distance thing can work out; I went through that myself for awhile. However, we had been dating for quite awhile first and it wasn't like we met the week before and then we were apart. So yes, it can work, but it is very hard. Especially if your love language is quality time together which is what mine is.

 

[Leanna]

It can work, yes.... I've been in an LDR before.. it didn't work out, but I can add some thoughts

1. It takes some work, because you have to put effort into hanging out and spending time together, and unlike when you live nearby you can't hang out with her and your friends in groups... that makes it really tough.

2. If it does work out and you move near each other, make sure you keep *talking* which is the reason why you fell in love in the first place. I have heard of LDRs where they move near eachother and stop putting an emphasis on talking as quality time and usually one person is a "quality time" (5 love languages) or a "conversation" (emotional needs, http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3300_needs.html) person and then they struggle with their feelings about the relationship.

 

[Carri20]

Hey man I can relate. I'm in a LDR and I've never met the guy face-to-face, but we're just as in love as if we lived next door to each other. As other folks have said, it can be tough, but it CAN work out. Hang in there and remember to keep God first. If you two are meant to be together then no distance in the world will keep you apart for long.

 

[Linnis]

I was in a LDR. I met him online, I lived in Ontario Canada and he lived in Illinois USA, haha something like 856 miles I forget now.

It can work. I think what people don't expect about an relationship began online is how "close" you can be as a couple. For a year all be had was talking, we talked about everything(okay maybe not everything) we made sure to talk everyday, to make special time for dates and it worked.

I agree with Leanna that once in person since your relationship is built on talking if you suddenly stop it will affect it greatly.

Most of my friends we're like how can you date a guy you haven't kissed, slept with etc. I *loved* the fact that for the first three months all he had we're my words not even a photograph so I knew it wasn't just someone trying to have sex.

When I traveled here the first time, we sat in his Mum's living room for hours and hours just talking or playing computer games(something we did a lot online) and she's like arn't you done talking yet? Even now that we've been married almost 2 years we still talk all the time.

I think we knew it was right when the person we met in the train station was the person online because I guess we both secretly worried the other had lied or shown themselves in a light a little different than reality.

Note: Don't call your relationship an internet thingy that may come off as insulting. Hehe

 

[Amy47]

Hey man I can relate. I'm in a LDR and I've never met the guy face-to-face, but we're just as in love as if we lived next door to each other. As other folks have said, it can be tough, but it CAN work out. Hang in there and remember to keep God first. If you two are meant to be together then no distance in the world will keep you apart for long.

I know this is off topic but aren't you engaged to this guy? And you still haven't ever seen him? :o

 

[txlonestar]

It can defintely work. I'm 6,000 miles from my girl (I'm military). Personally, I think you can get to know each other's personality, etc...a lot faster/better. If it's right, then distance will not mean anything. It's not always easy, but it can be defintely be done.

 

[Chan1976]

It can work, but you need to put in lots of effort. My fh and I are together now, but I was in a LDR for about 1 year (we met about 3 times, 2 weeks each, during that year), separated by an 18-hour plane ride. He was my high school senior, and I hadn't seen him for 7 years before we managed to contact each other again.

Emails, phone calls, and webcams were all very useful in our communication with each other (we tried to talk everyday). It's important to remember that although we were not around each other, we viewed each other as priorities, and would not sacrifice our daily time together even when we were tired/busy at school/work.

I agree with Linnis.. it's a good thing that for the first 2 months we were together, we only had each other's loving words, thoughts, and feelings instead of all the physical stuff. It really helped us to build a strong foundation for our relationship.

 

[jesuslivesinme]

God 'll take care of everything...just put ALL your trust in him...my GF is gone in africa to serve our God for a year...and I know and she knows that were meant for each other...its realllly hard...its only been a month 11 more to go...i can understand how its hard but God takes care of his children...take that time to pray for your future marriage iif it is the case...take the time to grow in God...get more of God...read your bible pray...everything you do in God will make it less long!

 

[winglovesall]

A long distance relationship may be looked at positively. God may want you to have a long-distance relationship because he thinks it's appropriate for you.

Trust in him!

Also, with long-distance relationships, make sure you communicate to her verbally and yeah, in writing. The communication may be different to communicating to a real-life person, because you're not seeing each other, but treat her the same way as you meet a real-life person.

 

[oworm]

we're 1425.9 miles apart...which really sucks...

Only 1425.9 miles apart!! Thats just around the corner. My betrothed is 4000 miles away from me!!!

 

[felinity]

My beau and I live about 2,000 miles apart, between the U.S. and Canada, as well. Be aware that any long-term plans between you will require a visa from the country in which you both wish to settle. I don't mean that as discouragement -- just as a reminder to research the visa requirements.

We're currently in the process of obtaining a K-1 "Fiance" visa for my beau to come to the U.S. The entire process can take close to six months.

 

[oworm]

My beau and I live about 2,000 miles apart, between the U.S. and Canada, as well. Be aware that any long-term plans between you will require a visa from the country in which you both wish to settle. I don't mean that as discouragement -- just as a reminder to research the visa requirements.

We're currently in the process of obtaining a K-1 "Fiance" visa for my beau to come to the U.S. The entire process can take close to six months.

We spoke to us immigration in Novenber and they were working on applications lodged in September. Of course it could take longer but not necessarily!

 

[felinity]

We spoke to us immigration in Novenber and they were working on applications lodged in September. Of course it could take longer but not necessarily!

There are a couple of steps to the process. First, the American citizen has to file a petition for a K-1 visa. Then the USCIS has to process that, and then sometime after that, the beneficiary has to travel to the nearest consulate city, go to the doctor to complete immunization records, have a physical, and then go to the consulate for a personal interview.

You're absolutely right that sometimes this process takes less time and sometimes it takes more. Just be sure you start the process with plenty of time to spare -- so much of it is beyond your control.

(The process I've outlined above applies to the K-1 visa process. If you plan to marry, then to move to the U.S., that's a different visa and a different process altogether. Also, insert standard disclaimer about how I'm not a lawyer and only speaking from my own experience and your mileage may vary here.)

In addition to the U.S. Naturalization site, I've found Visa Journey to be invaluable in trying to sort out the process.

Best of luck to all of you.

 

[oworm]

There are a couple of steps to the process. First, the American citizen has to file a petition for a K-1 visa. Then the USCIS has to process that, and then sometime after that, the beneficiary has to travel to the nearest consulate city, go to the doctor to complete immunization records, have a physical, and then go to the consulate for a personal interview.

You're absolutely right that sometimes this process takes less time and sometimes it takes more. Just be sure you start the process with plenty of time to spare -- so much of it is beyond your control.

(The process I've outlined above applies to the K-1 visa process. If you plan to marry, then to move to the U.S., that's a different visa and a different process altogether. Also, insert standard disclaimer about how I'm not a lawyer and only speaking from my own experience and your mileage may vary here.)

In addition to the U.S. Naturalization site, I've found Visa Journey to be invaluable in trying to sort out the process.

Best of luck to all of you.

Thanks for that heads up Felinity

 

[SweetBella]

it can work. my husband and i were apart for over 3000 miles for 5-6 months.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

WHen we dated the internet was not so refined. It was text-based unix and phone lines.
Our phone bills could finance a defense budget.

I think distance forces learning to communicate without having to worry so much about becoming sidetracked with getting physical.

 

[chocolateloverjen]

oh this is a hard one, im in a long distant relationship but he only lives like 2 hours n 20 mins away so i guess it doesnt copmpare to wht u go through. i did go thru a month of him been in florida and me in dull england (lol) and that was hard but i had liek NO contact and i was sooo depressed.

I just think to myslef hes defo worth it, and in a few years i might be living with him, hes worth the wait.

I think you gotta b positive about the distance, like you kinda talk more instead of hugging/kissing.holding hands etc and you get to know ewahc other more by that and thats ar eal good thing. expesh for me. i know him real well and he knows me.

 

[Inperfected]

In about a week I'll be going off to the other side of the world for 3 months... We may be able to contact vai email once or twice, and text VERY irregulary but virtually no contact.

I kno it will be hard in some ways, i mean who wouldn't think that, and we'll both miss each other. Sometimes you have to think of it in other ways tho.. ie, when i get back we've been together 10months +... and only 6 months til we get married!