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Dating A Divorced Man???

UnionJack

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Of course God can forgive him!

It is entirely possible for him to enter the kingdom of heaven still, and entirely possible for you.

But not together.

God just doesn't want divorced people remarrying. Why? I dunno ask Him....but I am thinking it is because during your wedding you said an oath in front of God to stay together.
 
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UnionJack

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Because God said so.


Someone earlier on posted this:
Luke 16:18
"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Matthew 5:32
But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

1 Corinthians 7:10-11
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
 
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Reborn Again

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I do not get the idea ..please explain.

If his ex wife moved on and got re married, are you saying they will still go to heaven together? If God forgives and forgets, then why could we not work out?

I think
I am falling in love with him and I am trying to find a reason it will not work, but this is a serious reason regardless
 
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fm107

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Sin has a way of complicating things as it goes against how God has designed us. I want you to know though that we here are in no way judging you, we are simply trying to help you with your situation and provide you with an answer in accord with God's will.

To answer your recent question, yes God can forgive him IF he is genuinely repentant...even if he is repentant and God forgives him that by no means takes away his obligation to go and be reconciled with his wife. He entered in a marriage he made a commitment he must see through. Marriage nowadays isn't worth much to many people as divorce is an easy escape route the government has provided. This is wholly wrong and God hates this.

What makes the situation difficult is that you have a child as a result of a relationship.

I feel it is very clear first of all that to have a relationship with this man beyond friend will go against what God has commanded here:

Luke 16:18
"Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery


I feel that this deals with the current relationship but now I’d like to turn and address your current life and future relationships.

I would think since you have a child to this other man God would want you to try and get married to this other man. You say that is not a possibility. Therefore the one question yet to be answered is, would God have you marry another Christian or would he rather you stayed single. I would think God would prefer you to stay single if that is possible. But if lust drives you to sin then you would have to try and marry someone else who is a Christian.

I'd like others to confirm if they agree with what I am saying or not.
 
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Reborn Again

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This is so sad sounding, but if he was married 2 times, and dated seriously after, who would he go to heaven with if he is fogiven? Many people have kids with more then one person, and 2nd families, so which family or spouse would God choice for you to enter in to heaven?
 
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fm107

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You appear to be of the understanding that people go to heaven with their spouses. This is not the case. Only those who are saved go to heaven. If all those spouses/wives he was in a relationship with are saved everyone of them will go to heaven, if none are saved then none will go to heaven.

Jesus addresses this exact issue here:

Mark 12:18-27
18Then the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. 19“Teacher,” they said, “Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and have children for his brother. 20Now there were seven brothers. The first one married and died without leaving any children. 21The second one married the widow, but he also died, leaving no child. It was the same with the third. 22In fact, none of the seven left any children. Last of all, the woman died too. 23At the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?”
24Jesus replied, “Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? 25When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.26Now about the dead rising—have you not read in the book of Moses, in the account of the bush, how God said to him, ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? 27He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. You are badly mistaken!"
 
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+RubiesFire+

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Hi Sweetie....

My POV as a woman here, and hopefully help you on the right direction and path.

STAY FAR AWAY FROM THIS MAN!

I dated a man for an entire year and a half! I wasted my life day in and day out for him. When God told me no...I said yes.

Here is my story:

We have been friends for a long time. He was never married and neither was I BUT he lived with a woman he had "relations" with. I was a very strong Christian and he admitted feelings for me, ect. I gave in too. While we were dating...she was still living with him. I gave him a time period for him to let her move out. He kept making up excuses....but secretly he would call her his "wife!"
NOW....yeah, two people living together unmarried doesn't make you married but they believed it. I fell from God because this man poisoned my thoughts, soul, and heart. I sinned like I have never sinned when I was with him. I lost my salvation...I lost my identity. I lost my respect.

I ended things because I couldn't take it anymore! Well...guess what the "wife" yeah, makes me laugh that she is now pregnant and they are not even married!

BUT he promised me how we would get married and have children in wedlock and not out of wedlock.

I became angry over this because God warned me time and time again to STAY AWAY!

I am now on the search for a GOOD Christian man and not a believer who claimed to be Christian, and yes, he was also older than me!

I am 27 and he's 35.

Please listen to that inner voices that says RUN! You'll save yourself a lot of heart ache. I am now returning back to God BIG time. At least I know he will never break my heart.
 
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Reborn Again

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I kind of see what you mean.

I do not want to be with my child's orginal father. I was not in love with him and was young and came from a bad child hood. he forced me to have sex even when I did not want to, no thank you. beacause of him I was left out on the street with nothing and a child to take care of. God never let me go to far from him.

being with a man who was married 10 years ago is hard because I am unsure if we did stay together, which woman he would be in heaven with. His ex wives are no longer with him and his children are grown. his most recent ex wife had children and became re married, so that would make her a adulteress and give him the right away to re marry correct?

Also his first planned the pregnancy against his will when he was young, and out of the right thing to do he married her later on, but it was not his heart.

I believe things happen for a reason but to say you have to be re married to some one that is moved on and already having children and remarried, I do not understand? the impossible is possible with God, so could this work?
 
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Reborn Again

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You appear to be of the understanding that people go to heaven with their spouses. This is not the case. Only those who are saved go to heaven. If all those spouses/wives he was in a relationship with are saved everyone of them will go to heaven, if none are saved then none will go to heaven.

Jesus addresses this exact issue here:

Mark 12:18-27
18Then the Sadducees, who say there is no resurrection, came to him with a question. 19“Teacher,” they said, “Moses wrote for us that if a man’s brother dies and leaves a wife but no children, the man must marry the widow and have children for his brother. 20Now there were seven brothers. The first one married and died without leaving any children. 21The second one married the widow, but he also died, leaving no child. It was the same with the third. 22In fact, none of the seven left any children. Last of all, the woman died too. 23At the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?”
24Jesus replied, “Are you not in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God? 25When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.26Now about the dead rising—have you not read in the book of Moses, in the account of the bush, how God said to him, ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? 27He is not the God of the dead, but of the living. You are badly mistaken!"

so what if all his ex's go to heaven, and I go to heaven, we would all be together? I am so lost. I do not understand that
 
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+RubiesFire+

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Well...you do know people do not stay married in Heaven, right?

Once we pass on, our old spouse can remarry if they chose too here on earth. When we enter Heaven, our lives transform and the feelings you have here on earth become very different because Christ's love is like no one elses....even a man's touch fails at this.

BUT...yes, marrying someone who was married before does make the person an adultress, and all I know that this is God's law and we have to obey it.

BUT why do you want to marry someone who has had many marriages? These are red flags waving in your face to stay away.

IF he becomes reborn again...you two can be in Heaven together as friends BUT not as a married couple because marriage does not exist between man and woman.
 
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UnionJack

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yes if all his ex's go to heaven and you go to heaven you would all be together


what fm107 is saying is that families and relationships has nothing to do with one's acceptance into heaven. Just because a father is going to heaven doesnt mean his son is going to heaven. But his son CAN go to heaven...if he is saved and has acted in the will of God. So in conclusion....its POSSIBLE for you all to end up in heaven only if you have earned it INDIVIDUALLY.......just because the husband gets in doesnt mean the wife will automatically get in...but its POSSIBLE she gets in if she has been good, but she is not guaratneed entry
 
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UnionJack

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Your situation is a bit complicated (and dangerous) to be answered by us I believe.

We can get into a lot of trouble with God if we falsely preach the Gospel and give you wrong advice so i would suggest using the 'ask a chaplain' feature on the main page of this forum (its near the top)...they are uhh..more professional.

Post if you need help finding it..ill try to link you.

Or if you can wait long enough find a local church and ask them.
 
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