Dates and Paying

[Tamara224]

I think whoever asked should pay. Since I also think guys should do the asking out (the first time) that means the guy should always pay for the first date. If I really like a guy, I will ask him out on a second date and I will pay for the second date, unless he indicates that he really wants to pay and I believe that he does so because of manly pride, chivalry and/or old-fashioned romantic notions (and not because he thinks he will get something in return).

I also find it...well, honestly, I find it disgusting when guys are opposed to paying for their date's meal or other activities, especially on a first date. It reeks of stinginess to me. It tells me that he cares too much about money and has odd notions of equality. And, possibly, that he's a gold digger (there are men out there only interested in finding a woman who will support them). Whatever the reason, it bodes ill for the rest of the relationship if he is opposed to paying on the first date.

If I went on a first date and the guy expected me to pay half, you can bet that would be our last date.

 

[Im_A]

But the other guy just said he did it for every single date he had, and if she didn't like him, then it was "next". How is that any kind of special signal? All it means is that he's willing to spend money on you.

i just saw this.

what do you expect me to do? what's your answer? since you like to complain about this topic, tell me what your opinion is that i should think.

should i think that every girl i go on a date with could be the "one"? if you do, how realistic is that? its not at all and it is illogical, and makes a guy look foolish to even consider that. you don't even know the person yet let alone calling them "a possible canidate for being the one".

so how should i think about the past failed dates? make up some sappy, romantic meaning about it all? i'll pass. i don't need to have a meaning to why my past dates failed. they failed, that's good enough. move on down the road. what else can one do? live in the past with these dates?

i explained myself that i take human interaction pretty seriously, so that automatically means that i think of women more than just spending money on them. why you didn't take that into consideration to how i personally view things when you put me in your response to someone else spellbounds me.

but your a joy to discuss with i'll say that much.

 

[Gwendolyn]

But the other guy just said he did it for every single date he had, and if she didn't like him, then it was "next". How is that any kind of special signal? All it means is that he's willing to spend money on you.

I don't understand what you mean... he didn't say he did it so that the women would like him more... he said he did it because he wanted to. Not feeling obliged, not guilty if he didn't. He just wanted to.

Do you only do things so that women will like you? Do you only take chances if you know for sure you'll get something out of it?

Sure, it's your choice after all, though i don't recommend a "where should we go, it's my treat" attitude. Nothing will get you stuck in the friend zone, or in this case, the sugar uncle-zone, faster than that.

Ugh, respectable women do NOT go on dates to exploit men! Just like respectable men do not go on dates to exploit women. Man, you sound like you have a real bone to pick with women. You talk about them like they are money-grubbing fools.

How many girls have you dated who only wanted a sugar daddy? I don't order the most expensive things on the menu just because someone else is paying. I'm a pretty frugal person, and regardless of who is paying, I always order what I feel comfortable with, which is usually one of the most least expensive things on the menu.

My former bf paid for all our dates. He wanted to. If he didn't want to, he is definitely the sort who would have refused outright. If he didn't feel like paying, he totally would have been completely upfront. He is an extremely blunt person. I asked to split bills often, pretty much every time (a couple times he took me out with his buddies and he wanted to pay for the guys too so he said it wouldn't be fair to make me pay if he didn't want them to pay).

We didn't break up because he went straight to the "friend zone". He freaked out after a year because he realised he was afraid of long-term commitment, and he broke up with me.

I never once took him for granted financially. I'm not a gift sort of girl... he never bought me gifts or anything. He knew that there was no "obligation" there.

Man, you posts betray a lot of bitterness toward women. Just because you've had some bad experiences, or your friends have had some bad experiences, that does not mean that all women are rotten, selfish princesses who are out to take a man for all he is worth.

Besides, you don't have to date women who disagree with you. Be up front with them and tell them you won't pay a cent for them, and the ones you won't want will filter out. You'll be able to find women who share your financial value system easier that way.

 

[deliciousBass]

Blind post.

Ehh.. I pay. I see it as a sign of affection. I will support you babays. And if she pays every once in a while, I think that's nice of her too. And it is appreciated. Of course, I have never dated a girl who made anywhere near the amount of monies I make so if I even asked her to pay, that would be kind of rude I think unless there was some special circumstance.

 

[Im_A]

I don't understand what you mean... he didn't say he did it so that the women would like him more... he said he did it because he wanted to. Not feeling obliged, not guilty if he didn't. He just wanted to.

Do you only do things so that women will like you? Do you only take chances if you know for sure you'll get something out of it?

thank you Gwendolyn.

 

[Gwendolyn]

Blind post.

Ehh.. I pay. I see it as a sign of affection. I will support you babays. And if she pays every once in a while, I think that's nice of her too. And it is appreciated. Of course, I have never dated a girl who made anywhere near the amount of monies I make so if I even asked her to pay, that would be kind of rude I think unless there was some special circumstance.

This is an issue for me. I'm a student. I have lots of bills. I don't make enough money to go out. I cannot afford to eat out. My washer was broken for a month and a bit, and I couldn't even afford to go to a laundromat to do laundry there. Every few months, I cannot make a payment on my tuition loan from the bank (I don't use credit cards, too financially dangerous).

I guess, by 20's standpoint, he could never go out with a woman in a situation like mine, because I cannot afford luxuries like eating out, new clothes, going to the movies, anything.

It is an austere lifestyle, but one I have to live if I want to go to school and get an education. I'm just glad I do not eat much food... I can barely afford my groceries as it is...

 

[Im_A]

20MoreMiles, i'll give you an example of a date i went on last year.

There was a girl from where I used to work at. We both had things in common, I found her attractive, we both were single, so I figured, alright let's just see if she wants to go out sometime. We had a mutual agreement before that we were going out as friends only and see what happens and have a good time. Nothing to really win from this. We already had our intentions clear from the very get-go there was no real swaying with this unless feelings started growing in time AFTER the date. To be honest, when it comes to my dating experiences with people I don't really know, or haven't had much contact with, she was the first one come to think about it, that was very forward with her intentions.

So we went out. I picked her up and drove us to where we went. I paid for the dinner, and then I paid for the times we shot pool, and then I paid for the meal after that we had while sitting in my truck and just talking. Did she require me of this? No. Not at all. She was very thankful. I was being considerate to her. One, I wanted to be a gentleman for no reason. It is nice to be good once and awhile. I also knew, she just started work there. So I had to be considerate of her own expenses, not to get anything, to just be decent.

It was a great time. We had fun. We had many laughs, good food, some good drinks and it was a good time. I don't expect her to pay me back. I paid for it all out of the goodness of my heart. That's not such a strange idea. I've done that for my guy friends before. My golf buddy, him and I always constantly went back and forth to pay for each other to play golf, heterosexual men going out on a date if you will. He always worried about the idea that he had to pay me back because he felt bad asking me for money at times. I said to him once, "Man, you don't have to pay me back. If you want to, that's cool. I just like hanging out with you. Your my best friend, and I love playing golf with you and we always have a great time together."

Back to the girl. Nothing came of the date in regards to a serious relationship. I gave her hug goodbye after I dropped her off, and that was it. I was still stuck on my ex-fiancee at that time. Come to find out, she used to be engaged, and she was still stuck on her ex. The friend zone wasn't created because I was being considerate, and kind, it was due to completely different reasons. I didn't want to push myself on her. That's disrespectful to someone that just had a very serious relationship end. They eventually got back together and me and my ex didn't/haven't. It happens. Sometimes we meet people at a conflicting time in their life. This girl I took out, is a good girl. We have a lot of differences as well as common things, but she's a good girl. I knew she wasn't using me, because she was honest to begin with. That's a clear sign that she's a respectable girl and that she was never out to use me. We kept in contact for awhile. She thanked me several times for the good time that we had and even told her fiancee about me(which I was shocked). I believed her because on break one night, she was talking to him and she told him that she was talking to me, addressing my name, in the smoke shack (that's what we called the smoking area at work) which automatically means, he had previous knowledge of me, so that proved her previous statement of telling me that she told him about the time we hung out. How I am a very nice guy, and we had fun together as friends and that him and I would get along really well.

Now you tell me something. You have had several girls here defend the female race (which they shouldn't have had to). Are women that bad? Sure we run into some rotten apples, just like women do with finding men, but are women really that bad to where we have to be so scared of them to worry that they are going to use us for our money that we have to horde off any kind of show of pure/unadulterated kindness when taking them out?

 

[20MoreMiles]

20MoreMiles, i'll give you an example of a date i went on last year.

(...)

Now you tell me something. You have had several girls here defend the female race (which they shouldn't have had to). Are women that bad? Sure we run into some rotten apples, just like women do with finding men, but are women really that bad to where we have to be so scared of them to worry that they are going to use us for our money that we have to horde off any kind of show of pure/unadulterated kindness when taking them out?

What makes you think that i hold a grudge towards women?? I love women. If you wish to spend 60 dollar on a friend then that's your choice and if it makes you happy you should definitely do it. I'm just saying that i'm not gonna pay a woman for being in my presence. And that's nothing disrespectful, just fair.

This is an issue for me. I'm a student. I have lots of bills. I don't make enough money to go out. I cannot afford to eat out. My washer was broken for a month and a bit, and I couldn't even afford to go to a laundromat to do laundry there. Every few months, I cannot make a payment on my tuition loan from the bank (I don't use credit cards, too financially dangerous).

I guess, by 20's standpoint, he could never go out with a woman in a situation like mine, because I cannot afford luxuries like eating out, new clothes, going to the movies, anything.

Actually, if i followed your standpoint, i could NEVER date in that situation, since i had to pay for both her and me. Yeah, i know it's cool when you're a girl and guys think they have to pay for you so you can go on dates for free, but for us it's different. I work two part time jobs in addition to my study, so i know what you're talking about. And i'm not gonna pay my hard-earned money just to have her in my presence, when she damn well can pay for herself.

I don't understand what you mean... he didn't say he did it so that the women would like him more... he said he did it because he wanted to. Not feeling obliged, not guilty if he didn't. He just wanted to.

Do you only do things so that women will like you? Do you only take chances if you know for sure you'll get something out of it?

No, i live my own life, and when i give a woman something, it actually has meaning, instead of just paying her to be there.

Ugh, respectable women do NOT go on dates to exploit men! Just like respectable men do not go on dates to exploit women. Man, you sound like you have a real bone to pick with women. You talk about them like they are money-grubbing fools.

How many girls have you dated who only wanted a sugar daddy? I don't order the most expensive things on the menu just because someone else is paying. I'm a pretty frugal person, and regardless of who is paying, I always order what I feel comfortable with, which is usually one of the most least expensive things on the menu.

Like i said, i love women and have nothing against them.

We didn't break up because he went straight to the "friend zone". He freaked out after a year because he realised he was afraid of long-term commitment, and he broke up with me.

I don't think you're familiar with the term, so allow me to explain. The friend zone means you're being really nice to a girl that you like, but she sees you obviously as no more than a friend, while you want to be more, but you don't want to ruin your chance, so you don't let her know..... but of course, you're never getting out of there.

So, "breaking up" is a stage you don't get to.

Man, you posts betray a lot of bitterness toward women. Just because you've had some bad experiences, or your friends have had some bad experiences, that does not mean that all women are rotten, selfish princesses who are out to take a man for all he is worth.

Besides, you don't have to date women who disagree with you. Be up front with them and tell them you won't pay a cent for them, and the ones you won't want will filter out. You'll be able to find women who share your financial value system easier that way.

My apologies if i gave the wrong impression. I've never been betrayed by a woman and whatever bad experience i had was just human behavior that men also have. Just because i think that a person who is perfectly capable of paying for her OWN stuff, should do so on the first meeting, doesn't mean i resent them!

And thanks for the advice, but i've never had a woman go crazy about me not paying for her. We're quite modern here.

i just saw this.

what do you expect me to do? what's your answer? since you like to complain about this topic, tell me what your opinion is that i should think.

You should do what you like, and if you want to pay for every first date, then more power to you. I'm just saying that i don't.

but your a joy to discuss with i'll say that much.

Thanks, the pleasure is all mine.

well i'm getting close to 30 man. i've had many dates, been in quite a few relationships, been engaged once and ya know what, if a simple grammatical jesture towards a stranger and me being considerate to her liking with food, puts me in a friend zone? i'll put the seat belt on and be comfortable because that attitude has nothing to do with being a friend or more. its about being a decent human being and being considerate of other people's likings when your going out together.

It's not a grammatical gesture my friend..... it's much deeper than that. Most women want you to be in control and take the risks.... in the right way of course, doesn't mean you have to rule her life or anything, but at the right moments.... you gotta have a feeling for it. Saying that you're taking her to somewhere special (and doing so) is much more powerful than someone who can't make his mind up and asks HER where to go.

 

[JennyKatz]

And i do think buying dinner is something nice, but only after you've gotten to know each other! Like i said, i was never holding back on those things in a relationship, but when you meet each other for the first time, i'm not gonna pay for her just to get to know her. Come on, where's the fairness in that?

And what's so "special" about having him pay for you when he doesn't even know you? One guy here says he's paying dinner for this girl, then the next, then the next, etc..... what's special about paying for a random girl that you don't know yet? It's about the MEANING behind the actions.

You seem fairly stuck on the money issue. Why is a girl you date (let's call her Jane) worth your time, but not your money? It's your money worth more to you than your time? By asking Jane out, you're implying that there's something about her that attracted you, that made her worth your time, worth getting to know. Unless you're just wandering about asking random chicks out.
By inviting Jane on a date, you're saying that you're responsible for that date. Whoever does the inviting is essentially saying that they're prepared to provide for all the logistical aspects of said date (transportation, funding, etc).
And, yes, I agree that the meaning behind the action is what's important. And the meaning to be inferred by one refusing to pay for a date that they initiated is that they're a bit rude, unless the split payment is explicitly state in the invite. Whether or not you know the person well, whether or not you think they're a keeper, shouldn't dictate your willingness to provide for a date that you initiated. It's common courtesy to pay for an activity that you invited somebody to.

 

[Gwendolyn]

I see the issue is due to perception.

You think that inviting a woman on a date, and paying for it since you invited her, equates to paying her to spend time with you. No woman, unless she is an escort, would agree that that is what paying for a date means.

What do you think of giving gifts? How is that different than taking your girlfriend - not a girl you don't know well - out on a date? In either case, you are giving her something - a spa massage for her birthday, a nice dinner for your anniversary, some flowers on valentine's day or a teddy bear if she is feeling ill. Is that "buying her affections"? "Paying her" so that she will continue to spend time with you? Something you "must" do to "keep her happy"?

What is the difference, in your mind, if there is one?

 

[overit]

20MoreMiles, i'll give you an example of a date i went on last year.

There was a girl from where I used to work at. We both had things in common, I found her attractive, we both were single, so I figured, alright let's just see if she wants to go out sometime. We had a mutual agreement before that we were going out as friends only and see what happens and have a good time. Nothing to really win from this. We already had our intentions clear from the very get-go there was no real swaying with this unless feelings started growing in time AFTER the date. To be honest, when it comes to my dating experiences with people I don't really know, or haven't had much contact with, she was the first one come to think about it, that was very forward with her intentions.

So we went out. I picked her up and drove us to where we went. I paid for the dinner, and then I paid for the times we shot pool, and then I paid for the meal after that we had while sitting in my truck and just talking. Did she require me of this? No. Not at all. She was very thankful. I was being considerate to her. One, I wanted to be a gentleman for no reason. It is nice to be good once and awhile. I also knew, she just started work there. So I had to be considerate of her own expenses, not to get anything, to just be decent.

It was a great time. We had fun. We had many laughs, good food, some good drinks and it was a good time. I don't expect her to pay me back. I paid for it all out of the goodness of my heart. That's not such a strange idea. I've done that for my guy friends before. My golf buddy, him and I always constantly went back and forth to pay for each other to play golf, heterosexual men going out on a date if you will. He always worried about the idea that he had to pay me back because he felt bad asking me for money at times. I said to him once, "Man, you don't have to pay me back. If you want to, that's cool. I just like hanging out with you. Your my best friend, and I love playing golf with you and we always have a great time together."

Back to the girl. Nothing came of the date in regards to a serious relationship. I gave her hug goodbye after I dropped her off, and that was it. I was still stuck on my ex-fiancee at that time. Come to find out, she used to be engaged, and she was still stuck on her ex. The friend zone wasn't created because I was being considerate, and kind, it was due to completely different reasons. I didn't want to push myself on her. That's disrespectful to someone that just had a very serious relationship end. They eventually got back together and me and my ex didn't/haven't. It happens. Sometimes we meet people at a conflicting time in their life. This girl I took out, is a good girl. We have a lot of differences as well as common things, but she's a good girl. I knew she wasn't using me, because she was honest to begin with. That's a clear sign that she's a respectable girl and that she was never out to use me. We kept in contact for awhile. She thanked me several times for the good time that we had and even told her fiancee about me(which I was shocked). I believed her because on break one night, she was talking to him and she told him that she was talking to me, addressing my name, in the smoke shack (that's what we called the smoking area at work) which automatically means, he had previous knowledge of me, so that proved her previous statement of telling me that she told him about the time we hung out. How I am a very nice guy, and we had fun together as friends and that him and I would get along really well.

Now you tell me something. You have had several girls here defend the female race (which they shouldn't have had to). Are women that bad? Sure we run into some rotten apples, just like women do with finding men, but are women really that bad to where we have to be so scared of them to worry that they are going to use us for our money that we have to horde off any kind of show of pure/unadulterated kindness when taking them out?

And this my friends, is the example between a man and self-absorbed child !! And this is coming from probably the most feminist and egalitarian supporting woman on this forum

 

[20MoreMiles]

You seem fairly stuck on the money issue. Why is a girl you date (let's call her Jane) worth your time, but not your money? It's your money worth more to you than your time? By asking Jane out, you're implying that there's something about her that attracted you, that made her worth your time, worth getting to know. Unless you're just wandering about asking random chicks out.
By inviting Jane on a date, you're saying that you're responsible for that date. Whoever does the inviting is essentially saying that they're prepared to provide for all the logistical aspects of said date (transportation, funding, etc).

Why am i worth Jane's time, but not her money? Why does Jane not pay for my dinner? Explain this to me. And don't come with the "because you asked her out" stuff, because men ALWAYS ask the women out (except for the guys with no cojones who don't dare). Like i said before, would it be fair if us men said "Well you asked me to go shopping with me, so you pay for everything i get" ?

And no, the one who asks the other out for a date is not "responsible" for transportation, funding, etc. Geez, you make it sound like i'm on a date with a baby! A grown up woman can take care of her own transportation and funding. When i ask a girl out, it means i would like to get to know her better, and when she agrees, she agrees to just that, not to me being her sugar daddy.

I see the issue is due to perception.

You think that inviting a woman on a date, and paying for it since you invited her, equates to paying her to spend time with you. No woman, unless she is an escort, would agree that that is what paying for a date means.

Okay, then explain to me what you [a man paying for her dinner] DO pay for? I suggested that some men do it because they are looking for approval or to be liked more, but you didn't think that was the case.

What do you think of giving gifts? How is that different than taking your girlfriend - not a girl you don't know well - out on a date? In either case, you are giving her something - a spa massage for her birthday, a nice dinner for your anniversary, some flowers on valentine's day or a teddy bear if she is feeling ill. Is that "buying her affections"? "Paying her" so that she will continue to spend time with you? Something you "must" do to "keep her happy"?

What is the difference, in your mind, if there is one?

I think gifts are a great way to express your appreciation for her. And this is different from buying her time/approval in case of a dinner, because a good gift is not a random item that is liked by women in general, but something specific that has a meaning to her. Buying her dinner has no special meaning and in fact, the other guy just said that he bought EVERY girl dinner and if it didn't work, it was "next!". How special is that?

Again, i'm all in favor for gifts, treating her with a surpise dinner, etc. I have no problem paying for her food or whatever when there's a special event, but when i don't even know her, and in fact, am just there to GET to know her? I'm not gonna pay for her to show up. How often does a woman pay for the food because "she appreciates him", on the first date?

And this my friends, is the example between a man and self-absorbed child !! And this is coming from probably the most feminist and egalitarian supporting woman on this forum

So, a real man pays for an 80 dollar date with his friend? For what? Again, i don't see any wrong in giving gifts or whatever, but paying her a big amount of money just to be in your presence, when she makes as much money as you do, is what makes you a man? I guess i'll be a self-absorbed child when i choose for a fair deal then...

 

[Gwendolyn]

I had a chuckle today because the girls behind me in class were talking before the class started, and one of them had gone on a date. This guy drove up to see a girl and took her out to an expensive place, and then at the end of the date, he said, "So, you're paying, right? I don't have any cash."

lol.

If I were a guy, I'd pay for a girl because if I asked her out, I obviously have a thing for her, and I'd like to do something nice for her. I don't care if it is an "unoriginal" way to give her a gift or show my affection. I don't have to think up unconventional ways of making people happy in order to show them that I care about them. It's the company that makes the dinner special, not the food on your plate. I'd take a girl out to spend time with her and show her that I'm interested and that I care about her, that I think there's something different about her than every other girl, even if it doesn't work out. I am just like that, though, and that would be one way I would show affection for her. That is why I would pay, because I would be fond of her, and would like to show my affection in that way. I wouldn't date a selfish bum, so the issue wouldn't be spending money on a girl who just wanted to take, take, take and thought she was a goddess or something.

I'd rather do things that cost no money, though. Like sightseeing, or hiking. That is why going to dinner or something expensive like the theatre is "special" to me - why I would see him paying for that as a gesture of a man's kindness and generosity, and affection. Because it would be out of the ordinary. Besides, you can't have real conversations over dinner plates or in theatres. I'd rather get to know a person's heart first, when we're hiking or something or watching a movie at home. Then go and do something different.

I'm not up for dating now, but if I were, it definitely wouldn't be the kind of date that the girls behind me were talking about - lol. What an idiot that guy was. "Oh hey, I asked you out and suggested this expensive place, but I didn't tell you that YOU'RE the one paying! Sucker!"

It would at least be courteous to talk about it before hand and agree who is paying, or if you'll both pay, rather than being like "Hey woman, I'm sticking you with the bill".

If the two of you can't communicate about such a simple thing when you're just in the going on dates stage, that doesn't bode well for a deeper relationship.

 

[WileyCoyote]

I had a chuckle today because the girls behind me in class were talking before the class started, and one of them had gone on a date. This guy drove up to see a girl and took her out to an expensive place, and then at the end of the date, he said, "So, you're paying, right? I don't have any cash."

Please tell me they were on Candid Camera, or Punk'd, or something.

 

[overit]

20 I don't expect you to get it, to each their own but just know whether u like it or not most girls will see u as cheap and a scorekeeper...but
I'm sure there is someone that might dig ur style and views about women

 

[Gwendolyn]

Please tell me they were on Candid Camera, or Punk'd, or something.

No, he was serious. The girl was so annoyed telling the story, too. What a jerk of a guy. I couldn't believe it. "I don't have any cash..."

 

[sweetlambofgod]

No, he was serious. The girl was so annoyed telling the story, too. What a jerk of a guy. I couldn't believe it. "I don't have any cash..."

i woulda been choked

 

[.Mikha'el.]

The person who did the asking out should do the paying out. If a woman asks me on a date, I'm not opposed to that. However, why would you plan an event like a date if you're not planning on participating? If I don't have gas money, I don't ask girls if I can drive them all over creation.

In my experiences, some women will offer to help pay for the date because, truth be told, they're not really into the guy, and helping to pay for things makes it feel like it's more just friends hanging out. For many guys, myself included, paying for the date is something we've taken from our parents' wisdom and traditions, and it is a matter of pride for us.

What irritates me is when I see a couple on a date, and when it comes time to pay, the guy just slides the bill over to her automatically. If he can't afford to take her on a date, how's he going to afford to support her as a husband? The scenario could be different from what I apparently see, so I don't get into tirades about it, but I've never gone on a date without being sufficiently prepared to pay for everything.

 

[ilovebeaches]

I wouldnt mind paying, but every guy I went out with wouldnt let me pay.

 

[TinkerTot]

What's your position on paying for dates? I'm generally somewhat old fashioned and believe that I should pay for most things, if not everything during a date. Some women I know love it, some will argue about it. Wondering what your peoples opinions are vis-a-vis who pays on a date.

I like it when the guy pays. But I really don't mind picking up the bill. Especially if I am the one who asked the guy out, but if a guy asks me out I expect him to pay. I always bring cash when I go on a date just in case lol.
My last bf I had we dated for a long time... almost a year and a half and he paid for everything when we started dating, but about 9 months into our relationship he got laid off, so I didn't mind a bit paying for when we went out. But then it just got out of hand... he got a job at a small business and worked on comission and then when he would get paid at the end of the week he would go to the casino and spend most of his money... he would always leave with enough to pay for his lunch the next day and a pack of cigarettes. So after a while it just got really annoying.

I talked to him about it and told him that I didn't mind him going to the casino but he just needed to put himself on a budget... he said he tried and when I went with him he would but soon he was back to his old habbits. I told him if he would let me I would help him manage his money... cause I'm fairly good at it. After that everything just pretty much went downhill... and I broke up with him because he just couldn't control his spending (he broke up with me because he said I was too controlling lol).