Dangerously close to something

[derpytia]

Perhaps I was already forsaken when I was made in my mother's womb because I was not supposed to come into this world at all.

Honestly, I wish my mother had aborted me like my father wanted.

Some days I really feel like God just doesn't exist. Like we're all praying to nothing and that life is just extremely unfortunate. What kind of world do we live in where people like me who have so much that we could offer but are trapped in bodies and minds that refuse to work properly. What kind of Father listens to the agonized cries of his children that go on and on day after day and does nothing but let them suffer.

What about the excruciating and sad life of Johnathan Pitre who endured a pain no child should have to bear and then died right after receiving treatment that was supposed to make him a little better because it came too late?

What about the people who are suicidal who pray to God for help so that they don't kill themselves and then God does nothing and they end up dead after fighting for life for so long?

So many people cry out to God for help and all he does is listen. He's an all powerful God who promised to safeguard His children and yet He doesn't. There are thousands of millions of people who put their hope in the Lord and His mercy and get nothing and end up dead and/or giving up on Him. God promised to keep our faith secure but I see the many many Christian suicides and people living in abject misery as God's failures to do anything of the sort. He's even losing the battle with me.

I know some people are gonna say, "Oh, well you may not have actually been saved in the first place." To which I point to "ask, seek, knock".

God has failed to live up to His promises and my heart breaks for me and for the millions of people who have ended their life because God didn't keep His promises to them and save them.

 

[Inkfingers]

The hardest thing in life is to say "not my will but thy will be done". It's so hard that we cannot actually even do it unless God puts it in our heart to do so. Our world is full to the brim with temptation to go the other way, and to take God's path is no panacea, but it has more meaning than the alternative direction (in fact its the only direction which has ANY meaning - hence how people fill life without Him with distracting illusions).

Although you would not be human if you did not wish he'd give us a break some times (and one that does not come with a snapping sound ).

 

[Heavenhome]

When we search our hearts honestly we find that God always keeps His promises.
No matter how we may feel we can be deceived.

Our life in this sinful world is very hard as we are all suffering the consequences of sin.

Above everything else remember that you are so precious that it took His very own Son, our Lord Jesus who suffered far more than we could ever go through ourselves so we could be forgiven and reconciled to our loving heavenly Father.
Take all that you are feeling and going through, to Jesus and leave your burdens there for Him to carry for He careth for you.

I find Psalm 27 a wonderful psalm to think on and hope you do too.
Dear one don't forget your friends here either, when one of us hurts we all do.

God bless you for He surely loves you.

My heart truly breaks whenever I hear of anyone sorrowful unto death and suicidal because I have been there and if I feel like that God would feel a milliion times more than I do because He sent Jesus for us.

All I am ever able to do is pray to God and be thankful for every day I am here because you never know when you may be able to help someone else and everyday is a testimony to Him and his love.

 

[Desires Light]

Perhaps I was already forsaken when I was made in my mother's womb because I was not supposed to come into this world at all.

Honestly, I wish my mother had aborted me like my father wanted.

Some days I really feel like God just doesn't exist. Like we're all praying to nothing and that life is just extremely unfortunate. What kind of world do we live in where people like me who have so much that we could offer but are trapped in bodies and minds that refuse to work properly. What kind of Father listens to the agonized cries of his children that go on and on day after day and does nothing but let them suffer.

What about the excruciating and sad life of Johnathan Pitre who endured a pain no child should have to bear and then died right after receiving treatment that was supposed to make him a little better because it came too late?

What about the people who are suicidal who pray to God for help so that they don't kill themselves and then God does nothing and they end up dead after fighting for life for so long?

So many people cry out to God for help and all he does is listen. He's an all powerful God who promised to safeguard His children and yet He doesn't. There are thousands of millions of people who put their hope in the Lord and His mercy and get nothing and end up dead and/or giving up on Him. God promised to keep our faith secure but I see the many many Christian suicides and people living in abject misery as God's failures to do anything of the sort. He's even losing the battle with me.

I know some people are gonna say, "Oh, well you may not have actually been saved in the first place." To which I point to "ask, seek, knock".

God has failed to live up to His promises and my heart breaks for me and for the millions of people who have ended their life because God didn't keep His promises to them and save them.

In the end It all comes down to us. If we don't listen to lifes prompting then nothing much will ever get done. Life made all of us with exceptional abilities to use for the benefit of other's, but most just want to squander their gift's for gain. Most suffering in this life is caused by humankind itself & how they think of each other.

Life never cheated anyone.

 

[timewerx]

God has failed to live up to His promises and my heart breaks for me and for the millions of people who have ended their life because God didn't keep His promises to them and save them.

I'm sorry to hear.

None of these is God's fault though.

It is our job to reach out and help you and the other millions of Christians in desperate need of help. God, Jesus, and the disciples made it plenty clear in the Bible....

But sadly, most Christians would rather disobey God and use their God-given resources to live in comfort / easy lives, indulge in leisures, hobbies, worldly things, instead of using them to help brothers and sisters in need.

If they do give something, it's only enough to make themselves feel good, clear their conscience, but not enough to make a difference - a lukewarm expression.

So it's not God's fault but the fault of Christians. And this is expected - in the last days, the hearts of many will grow cold and people will be lovers of pleasure.....

 

[Dave G.]

I know some people are gonna say, "Oh, well you may not have actually been saved in the first place." To which I point to "ask, seek, knock".

Sometimes we make the mistake of thinking we should feel something. The truth is the truth whether we feel it or not, the real master at getting to our emotions is the enemy by interjecting thoughts into our minds and blocking what God has to say and do for us. Think of the people in the bible who thought they were forsaken when all along an angel was trying to get a message to them from God and had to fight demons off delaying them receiving from God. Your enemy is not God at all, you need to trust and know that God is for you. Satan is your enemy. We live in a world where constant spiritual warfare is going on all around us. It sounds like that started at a young age right at home for you.

If you are not a born again believer then ask Jesus into your life, pray to the Father through Jesus Christ, Jesus is our conduit and intercessor, and open your heart to receive from the Holy Spirit. Satan is at work around you blocking what God has for you, in the name of Jesus cast him away and ask the Lord to personally escort him out of your life. Then receive from the Lord. Live your life for the Lord, sometimes we say we do when really we are more interested in worldly matters, possessions and the trinkets of life ( gee how would I know !).

Moses spent 40 years in the desert thinking he was unworthy of God , when all along God was arranging plans that Moses would fulfill. You haven't even lived 40 years yet. Waiting on the Lord goes easier with faith in the Lord, that He will deliver you.. His promises are true but you may not feel that. You obviously are a bible reader, trust in those facts the bible has to offer more than in your emotions, read why above !

 

[tdidymas]

Perhaps I was already forsaken when I was made in my mother's womb because I was not supposed to come into this world at all.

Honestly, I wish my mother had aborted me like my father wanted.

Some days I really feel like God just doesn't exist. Like we're all praying to nothing and that life is just extremely unfortunate. What kind of world do we live in where people like me who have so much that we could offer but are trapped in bodies and minds that refuse to work properly. What kind of Father listens to the agonized cries of his children that go on and on day after day and does nothing but let them suffer.

What about the excruciating and sad life of Johnathan Pitre who endured a pain no child should have to bear and then died right after receiving treatment that was supposed to make him a little better because it came too late?

What about the people who are suicidal who pray to God for help so that they don't kill themselves and then God does nothing and they end up dead after fighting for life for so long?

So many people cry out to God for help and all he does is listen. He's an all powerful God who promised to safeguard His children and yet He doesn't. There are thousands of millions of people who put their hope in the Lord and His mercy and get nothing and end up dead and/or giving up on Him. God promised to keep our faith secure but I see the many many Christian suicides and people living in abject misery as God's failures to do anything of the sort. He's even losing the battle with me.

I know some people are gonna say, "Oh, well you may not have actually been saved in the first place." To which I point to "ask, seek, knock".

God has failed to live up to His promises and my heart breaks for me and for the millions of people who have ended their life because God didn't keep His promises to them and save them.

Keep seeking and knocking, because I can tell you that some of the promises are obtainable.
Paul wrote "in due season you shall reap, if you don't faint."
Peter wrote "endeavor to make certain of your calling and election."
In Hebrews it says "in this hope we have an anchor for the soul."

Many years ago I felt as if I didn't belong anywhere, and prayed that God would show me I was His, because I lacked the experience of Rom. 8:16 ("The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children."). Seven years later the Lord very powerfully told me I was His, and I have not doubted that verse since.

In my experience, we get into a rut of believing our feelings instead of believing what God says in His word. But faith overcomes feelings, if we set our hope toward Christ. He is the Good Shepherd and the best guide in life we will ever meet.
TD

 

[Dave G.]

I already replied with my main message to you but here is another thought. Think of the things that have gone right in your life, also things that have lead to correction in your life that brought you to understand something you thought was right was actually wrong and because of that your path changed. I know you are young yet, so keep it simple. That passing thought, that gee maybe I should go this way instead of that way and your supposed hunch turned out to be right. There are no coincidences, that was God working in you in your every day life that it actually turned out well. Why ? Because you listened to that hunch. What if that hunch and others too, were not really your own thoughts but that of the Holy spirit, "the still small voice". Read my signature below !

Sometimes God speaks just in our understanding of some matter, reasoning something or discerning something. Day in and day out that's how He works, it's not always going to be mountain moving events in our lives. Always be still and listen and know He is God and He is there with you . If you dwell on the things you think He hasn't done you miss the reality of the blessings of the things He has already done in your life. And feel free to thank Him for those things as well.

 

[mama2one]

@derpytia
read your blog post
am so sorry for all your struggles

don't give up, move forward
don't dwell on your family history, move forward
don't look at your past, live one day at a time

your life has meaning
you are a child of God

 

[mama2one]

read that you think you'll never get married
please don't think that way as often as we think, it becomes self-fulfilling

my grandmother was told by family that no one would ever marry her because she had physical disabilities, also
but she did marry and gave birth to my mom

be positive
God does love you

 

[dqhall]

Perhaps I was already forsaken when I was made in my mother's womb because I was not supposed to come into this world at all.

Honestly, I wish my mother had aborted me like my father wanted.

Some days I really feel like God just doesn't exist. Like we're all praying to nothing and that life is just extremely unfortunate. What kind of world do we live in where people like me who have so much that we could offer but are trapped in bodies and minds that refuse to work properly. What kind of Father listens to the agonized cries of his children that go on and on day after day and does nothing but let them suffer.

What about the excruciating and sad life of Johnathan Pitre who endured a pain no child should have to bear and then died right after receiving treatment that was supposed to make him a little better because it came too late?

What about the people who are suicidal who pray to God for help so that they don't kill themselves and then God does nothing and they end up dead after fighting for life for so long?

So many people cry out to God for help and all he does is listen. He's an all powerful God who promised to safeguard His children and yet He doesn't. There are thousands of millions of people who put their hope in the Lord and His mercy and get nothing and end up dead and/or giving up on Him. God promised to keep our faith secure but I see the many many Christian suicides and people living in abject misery as God's failures to do anything of the sort. He's even losing the battle with me.

I know some people are gonna say, "Oh, well you may not have actually been saved in the first place." To which I point to "ask, seek, knock".

God has failed to live up to His promises and my heart breaks for me and for the millions of people who have ended their life because God didn't keep His promises to them and save them.

Jesus is stone the builders rejected. The chief priests could not find any use for him, they put him to death. God glorified him as the multitude tried to get closer to hear him speak or possibly receive a healing. On the third day since he was crucified, death did not have a hold on him.

When I was 22 I was basically wasted. I was not sure if life would be worth living. God turned me back from a path of self destruction. I sat in 12 step meetings listening to people describing themselves as dry drunks. They were sober, but they had not resolved their problems. I read the Bible over and over for years. I read Bible study guides. I studied ancient Near Eastern history. I read ancient Egyptian literature. I read parts of the Talmud to try to get an idea about what the Jews of Jesus' day thought. I read Josephus and Eusebius. I read Cicero and other Roman authors. Other people were becoming advanced software code writers, I abandoned a nearly three year stint as a computer application engineer after the dot com boom ended. I went to Israel to visit Holy Sites, antiquities museums and to do photography. I was sometimes thinking, "Why am I doing this? I am not rich and do not know if I will have enough money to retire." I was strong enough to help carry the load at work, but was not gifted with high paying job skills. I was surviving in mediocrity.

In the past two years I have been praising God for healings and knowledge. Financial insecurity is not a worry either. The uncertainties of my youth are behind me.

I remember when I was sitting 12 step meetings someone used to day, "Do not quit a minute before the miracle." If you turn your will and your life over to God, things might change for the better.

 

[Southernscotty]

I believe the problem comes because of the "me and I" statements that we so often make. We make this life all about us and what we want, What about the God that created us for HIS purpose?
Only when we let go of "us" and place God and others first can we truly be blessed by Him.

 

[Far Side Of the Moon]

Don't give up. Just wait on Him...he will help you. Just wait.

I used to be so angry at God... Extremely mad but eventually it got better.

Things will get better for you Tia.