cutting off friends who aren't believers

[Goodbook]

Do you do this after coming to a point where a friend or someone you thought was a friend you find is NOT actually true friends with Jesus, and stop hanging with them anymore? If they start to become annoying and demanding or perhaps wanting you to clean up their messes all the time, or complaining.

How do you do this do you confront them about it (especially if they've confessed a lukewarm belief) or do you just lose contact with them and find other friends to hang with.

I mean what is the point of continuing to be friends with someone who hates Jesus and doesn't bother listening to Him at all and wants to constantly indulge in temptations. Especially if its not likely they going to choose Jesus way over their idol. Even though they might have said they do believe.

 

[thecolorsblend]

I suppose it depends. But keep in mind, your witness may be the only mercy they ever receive. You may be what steers them in the right direction... which is only possible for you to do if you're actually in touch with them. If you abandon them then for all you know you may be closing the door on the only Christian influence they have.

I should say here that there's a difference between a non-Christian and an anti-Christian. The former may make for a ripe harvest field for you. The latter may well be a source only for conflict and hostility, and so you might someday have to sever ties with them if worse comes to worst.

Never forget the difference between non-Christian and anti-Christian.

 

[thesunisout]

Do you do this after coming to a point where a friend or someone you thought was a friend you find is NOT actually true friends with Jesus, and stop hanging with them anymore? If they start to become annoying and demanding or perhaps wanting you to clean up their messes all the time, or complaining.

How do you do this do you confront them about it (especially if they've confessed a lukewarm belief) or do you just lose contact with them and find other friends to hang with.

I mean what is the point of continuing to be friends with someone who hates Jesus and doesn't bother listening to Him at all and wants to constantly indulge in temptations. Especially if its not likely they going to choose Jesus way over their idol. Even though they might have said they do believe.

2 Corinthians 6:14

Do not become unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

The scripture is clear, we are not to be yoked together with unbelievers. The above poster is right in a sense, that we may be the only bible someone ever reads. That isn't to the exclusion of Gods word, though. Being yoked together with an unbeliever means that as their master, Satan, yanks them this way and that, you will be dragged along with them

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

If you feel maybe they are affecting your walk then cut them out of your life. I did with a few that were messing with me to much.

 

[sheamiao]

Do you do this after coming to a point where a friend or someone you thought was a friend you find is NOT actually true friends with Jesus, and stop hanging with them anymore? If they start to become annoying and demanding or perhaps wanting you to clean up their messes all the time, or complaining.

How do you do this do you confront them about it (especially if they've confessed a lukewarm belief) or do you just lose contact with them and find other friends to hang with.

I mean what is the point of continuing to be friends with someone who hates Jesus and doesn't bother listening to Him at all and wants to constantly indulge in temptations. Especially if its not likely they going to choose Jesus way over their idol. Even though they might have said they do believe.

Ask Holy Spirit and follow his lead. He knows everything of us and can answer every of our questions. Sometimes we need to suffer to help others sometimes we need to avoid certain people to not become them. Ephesians 2:10 God prepared us a good life. So I'd say have a good talk with God.

 

[Kit Sigmon]

Goodbook:
Pray for them!

Are they regularly indulging in sinfulness? Titus 1:16

are they lukewarm?...it's time to show them: Revelation 3:14-16.

 

[Goodbook]

Hmm well I dont know about being the only bible they will ever read since They DO have the bible already and just dont bother reading them and I am actually not literally their bible! You cant open me up everytime you wanna read or hear from God cos I have things to do as well I dont just sit there on the shelf.

Even though my name is Goodbook lol. Jesus is the Word, not me.

 

[DusmoProkuon]

Everybody is correct that is does depend whether or not you should keep the friendship, if they are not changing. We comprehend in the Bible that since everybody is unrighteous in our Adamic nature, our direction given to us is to be compassionate and longsuffering to correct them. There are, though, some who may be impertinent beyond our control like some of the pseudo-disciples in the Book of Acts. Some people may not be destinated by Him in His Fate to be converted by us as He foresees that they may be adamant to our personality for instance, considering mayhaps another someday may accomplish that with one that will work. Unfortunately, we do not have foresight with our limited perception to make a judgment with our relationships, ergo we must rely on His counsel to execute it without consequences on our own head. Just supplicate for their salvation and rekindling of their faith, at least, if you may not be able to converse with them anymore because it will augment their conversion much more when they meet the right person, in effect.

Personally, I lost many friends who had professed faith yet were as lukewarm as a teakettle left overnight. I was at my wit's end to decide whether or not I should be by their side for months thinking it best to withdraw often. Some were whiny they my preaching was "legalistic", and others chiding me as "heretical" for taking interest in foreign cultures to link biblical culture. I tried later to just withdraw entirely, yet my heart felt not right always hearing Her voice say that my service is anti-productive for the kingdom of God. It was not until one day that the Holy Ghost conversed with me while I was on a sprint counseling me that for certain groups I had to apply this method here and the other there. (To adhere to them and to the other withdraw.) May this be helpful to you in your missionary, friend.

 

[Goodbook]

I have gotten over the whole guilt inducing 'you are my only friend' lie from hell because this is what one girl told me to try and manipulate me into doing stuff for her all the time.

 

[Goodbook]

Thanks everyone well I just need to pray more for these people and ask God about it, to step in. HE actually has removed a lot of lukewarm ppl from my life already.

 

[Goodbook]

I recall once Jesus said eat my flesh and drink my blood some of his disciples walked away from him.

 

[Sketcher]

My general advice in those situations is to not be the "bad guy" in that relationship, as in the one to make demands of the the other person (which some witnessing can sound like to unbelievers), or cut them off. Now obviously if the relationship is a toxic one where they are literally abusing you on a regular basis, that's a different case. But generally, I believe that 2 Corinthians 5:20 and Paul's example of living out that role as described in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 shows the attitude we should have. This is incompatible with cutting someone off because they are not accepting Jesus on your timetable. The love we ought to show is also incompatible with that (see 1 Corinthians 13).

 

[Goodbook]

I have decided to do the withdraw method because...I dont think there is any friendship as such worth salvaging. hes not interested in God at all and would rather fritter away his money on worthless idols, then tell me about it thinking its ok to do this when Ive told him I am not interested anymore.

If he truly believed he wouldnt be effectively spitting in Gods face and ignoring Him, chasing after worthless things that theives can steal and moths destroy. He thinks its ok just because he doesnt drink and smoke, but I would say hes being far worse when hes worshipping idols instead. God can free someone whos become addicted to drinking and smoking cos they can see the damage it does to other people, but this guy thinks idol worshipping is harmless. I beg to differ..hes chasing after the wind and can not seem to exist without spedning more money on things that dont have eternal worth.

 

[Goodbook]

I think what hurts most is people who are lukewarm, thats why Jesus said he would spit them out of his mouth.

Like ppl that always saying oh thats judgemental, when its the ungodly that scorn judgment. Proverbs 19:28
Or they will like one thing and you like another, am wondering what is the pointof being friends if you have nothing in common. And the thing you like is diametrically opposed to the thing they like.

For example, one girl was obssesed with horror movies but I hate them, but she still tried to drag me into seeing one. Or was that hunger games. I forget. It was just really boring. Its not like it something you HAVE to see and she knows its not my thing yet she still inisisted i go with her. I mean I dont do that to people make them go to things they wont like. Plus i never said I wanted to see that movie anyway. And yet after i went with her she wanted to go to another one! Anyway not friends with her anymore its like being friends with an alcoholic. They dont really want to hang out with you at all they just want an excuse to drink.

 

[Goodbook]

Then these so called friends say they believe in God but they only pretending whats with that? If they truly love the Lord theyd be keen to go to church, cheer you on with bible study, pray etc but they only give lip service. I am so over people who cant be honest.

 

[LoricaLady]

It is interesting that the Bible differentiates between flat out nonbelievers and those who are saying they are believers but are hypocrites. We are told not to even eat with the latter group only.

It does not at all sound, either, like you are helping your friend. You tried. It hasn't worked. I would say move on unless, after prayer, the Holy Spirit guides differently. You sound stressed by the relationship to no evident good purpose.

 

[Goodbook]

Yea the thing that gets me is the hypocrites, i mean if a person was a non believer I would be ok, I know how to handle them, what to say and what not to say.

But if a person has said they are a believer yet doesnt seem to be following God at all in their life, and after ive been encouraging all this time but they refuse to listen its like what is the point especially when they not being much of a friend back and only interested in their mess whilst expecting me to listen to them indulging in it and never making any attempt to connect with God who can actually do something about it.

 

[aiki]

Do you do this after coming to a point where a friend or someone you thought was a friend you find is NOT actually true friends with Jesus, and stop hanging with them anymore? If they start to become annoying and demanding or perhaps wanting you to clean up their messes all the time, or complaining.

Sounds exactly like what God's children do to Him all the time! How often do we come to Him to clean up our messes? How many times do we press Him for things we want? We are selfish, disobedient, foolish children most of the time and yet God continues to love us.

How do you do this do you confront them about it (especially if they've confessed a lukewarm belief) or do you just lose contact with them and find other friends to hang with.

Proverbs 27:5-6
5 Open rebuke is better Than love carefully concealed.
6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Sometimes, love, godly love, requires that we confront and challenge our friends. If we really believe the Bible when it says that sin brings destruction, corruption and death, then we will do what is necessary - even if it seems unkind - to urge our friends away from sin.

I mean what is the point of continuing to be friends with someone who hates Jesus and doesn't bother listening to Him at all and wants to constantly indulge in temptations. Especially if its not likely they going to choose Jesus way over their idol. Even though they might have said they do believe.

Amos 3:3
3 Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?

The apostle Paul answered this question in his letter to the Corinthians:

2 Corinthians 6:14
14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?

Being "unequally yoked" has to do with intimate relationships that influence your beliefs, values and behaviour. Be friends with weak Christians and the unconverted, but do not allow them to have close, intimate friendships with you. You must keep them at arms' length; for it is much easier to be dragged down than to lift others up.

Selah.

 

[Goodbook]

Ive confronted two people recently well one person no longer speaking with me and the other person ignored what I said.

So now im withdrawing contact. Because yes the friendship is too superficial to continue on with forever and it was taking a lot of my time plus stressing me out, when that happens I have to think well is it worth it? Why give what is holy to the dogs if all they do is turn and rend you?

One person when I shared ive got homework and doing bible study, told me not to go! I was like, what? If she was truly a believer like she said she would be encouraging.

The other complained to me like a broken record he was needed to cut back on spending, yet cONTINUED to go to the market every sunday. I said why dont you come to church with me on sunday instead then you dont need to spend any money. He ignored this and said he liked to go. But thats not what I hear everyother time he writes its to complain I got too much stuff! Stuff he buys at the market! And then he passes half of it on to me! Grrr

And then instead of praying about things he worries about them ALL the time. I tell him if you a believer like you professed, you wouldn worry about wverything youd be praying to God about it and having peace.

 

[Goodbook]

I decided i have no longer any time for people who cant resist the devil and complain they being tempted when they always go to the places they are being tempted and expect me to go with them and say its ok.