Could you live without...

[redblue22]

unwilling to touch me whatsoever? definitely a problem. I feel bad for people who have this problem, but I don't really want to have to deal with the kind of rejection feelings I'd struggle with.

I can understand such feelings kindof though. I mean, the moment someone crosses a serious line the sex drive is over for me with them. oh sure, there's forgiveness, but healing and trust takes some time. I'm definitely about respect. I'd rather touch myself than let that person near me.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

Nope, unless you were Alice... that's the only person in the world that I ever could. Too much love and history between us.

 

[Rhye]

Rude, yes, but nothing gross about it.

Its actually very disrespectful! If I didn't like you so much as a person I would report you. And in all honestly, your behavior when it comes to things like this on this forum, is wrong. Its wrong because there are a lot of people here who are struggling with those things, and you try to push the limits even though you know you aren't suppose too. So either chill out about it, or find somewhere else to post it. Of course we are adults here so please act like one.

I say that with love, of course.



Now as for the thread. I didn't answer the question.

No I wouldn't. If he was asexual, he would not be "perfect" with me. I can't say I wouldn't because I want children, we don't have to have sex for that because we can clearly adopt, but I still wouldn't. I would also like to know that from the start. Because clearly if he doesn't and wastes years of my life telling me he will wait for me and then I find out its because he doesn't and never wanted to have sex, I would be hurt by it because I find that as lying.

 

[Strider1002]

Because clearly if he doesn't and wastes years of my life telling me he will wait for me and then I find out its because he doesn't and never wanted to have sex, I would be hurt by it because I find that as lying.

Yeah, that would be lying.

 

[Strider1002]

That was over the line, KS, but Ethie said it best, so I won't pile on.

 

[Keri]

Okay, I'm bored, so...

Say you meet the perfect mate. Like, you made a list of everything you want in the ideal spouse and you found that person and they meet your every standard perfectly. They also want to spend their life with you. BUT they don't want to have sex, ever.

Would you marry them?

Personally... I would.

Yes.

 

[Niels]

No. We wouldn't be compatible.

 

[Ariadne_GR]

If everything else was there bar that, I would. Added bonus of 0% chance of pregnancy, no invasive surgery required, totally good with that!

 

[Guy Incognito]

Yeah, again, no. I'm not saying there needs to be sex all the time, cause 1) there's other things we could do together in that department (without getting into examples publicly, cause listing such could make others or especially myself stumble. private convo; less chance of such)(didn't mean that meanly to others), and 2) it's not always gonna be in that sphere of things. But still; I really want that with my wife. If she doesn't, then we're not syncing up the way we should.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Like someone else had said, it doesn't matter how compatible I am with this guy or how seemingly 'perfect' he is for me, because if he confesses to me at some point that he wishes not to have sex in the marriage, then that alone automatically makes us not right for each other. Plus, he would have been lying to me, or rather been deceptive in withholding such necessary information for me to know. Hello...not cool.

There are many things in life that I know for a fact that I want. And to be sexually intimate with my husband is one of those things. That is a natural, healthy, and perfectly normal desire. So again, my answer to this is definitely no.

 

[Pomegranate]

Okay, I'm bored, so...

Say you meet the perfect mate. Like, you made a list of everything you want in the ideal spouse and you found that person and they meet your every standard perfectly. They also want to spend their life with you. BUT they don't want to have sex, ever.

Would you marry them?

Personally... I would.

It is tempting to say that I would, as they would be a wonderful person, but I am sorry, but they do not sound like they would be my perfect mate. Perhaps my perfect friend, but not the person I want to marry. They do not want to have sex, ever, and unfortunately such a person is not my ideal.

 

[Strider1002]

^ Makes sense, considering pomegranate is considered by many to be an aphrodisiac

 

[Amber.ly]

I want a healthy marriage, so no. Not that sex is exactly a given in marriage (just ask folks who have been together 10+ years, new parents or those in stressful relationships) but it is definitely part of a God designed marriage so I think walking yourself into that situation is foolish.

I'm living (and have lived) without sex. It isn't the act itself that I couldn't live without but rather the intimacy it creates as well as the fact that God designed that aspect of marriage for a purpose.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Okay, I'm bored, so...

Say you meet the perfect mate. Like, you made a list of everything you want in the ideal spouse and you found that person and they meet your every standard perfectly. They also want to spend their life with you. BUT they don't want to have sex, ever.

Would you marry them?

Personally... I would.

If such a woman were not longing for physical intimacy with me, she cannot be that eager to spend the rest of her life with me. And even if she genuinely did, she could never be considered the perfect partner for me, or even an adequate one.

I'm not willing to go there.

 

[JohnyPoppacapolis]

Okay, I'm bored, so...

Say you meet the perfect mate. Like, you made a list of everything you want in the ideal spouse and you found that person and they meet your every standard perfectly. They also want to spend their life with you. BUT they don't want to have sex, ever.

Would you marry them?

Personally... I would.

I would prefer it actually. My reasoning? 1: I'm not that interested in sex. 2: I don't want to have kids. Ever. Not ever.

 

[SOLDIER ❤]

Good question... This would be frustrating to say the least, but... possible.

I think my answer would be Yes.

 

[StarBright]

Okay, I'm bored, so...

Say you meet the perfect mate. Like, you made a list of everything you want in the ideal spouse and you found that person and they meet your every standard perfectly. They also want to spend their life with you. BUT they don't want to have sex, ever.

Would you marry them?

Personally... I would.

They wouldn't be my ideal spouse and meet my standards perfectly if they were non-sexual. Would I marry someone who was physically unable to have sex? Yes. Would I marry someone who wanted sex infrequently? Yes.

 

[0x87a]

I'm on the fence about it. If we were absolutely, madly in the love with each other and she had a condition that prevented her from having sex, yes I would marry her. There are still other things that quell sexual desire. I wouldn't NOT marry someone just because of sex. But to me, fulfilling sexual desire and having children are the big reasons for marry. Even Paul said it's better not to marry unless your sexual desire becomes so strong you cannot handle it to avoid sin.

As bad as I want kids, if she had a condition that prevented her from sex/kids, I would still consider it. If it was just because she was asexual, had no interest or just didn't want to, then I probably wouldn't. She'd make a good best friend to hang out with.

I agree!

And besides, I don't think I can really get a long with my ideal spouse. Now that I'm a little older, I realize that it's not fun to be with someone who's so perfectly as what I have thought he should be. And yes, I think he could be the bestest friend that I could have if I found him.

 

[LOVEthroughINTELLECT]

Okay, I'm bored, so...

Say you meet the perfect mate. Like, you made a list of everything you want in the ideal spouse and you found that person and they meet your every standard perfectly. They also want to spend their life with you. BUT they don't want to have sex, ever.

Would you marry them?

Personally... I would.

I would not marry anybody who draws lines and says that they must or must not be crossed. It works both ways. If she says I must be willing to have sex, that is unhealthy. If she says that I must be willing to live without sex, that is unhealthy.

The only thing that is healthy is when two people mutually want to enthusiastically do everything that they can to as much as possible meet the other person's needs and are willing to forgive when that honest, enthusiastic effort does not result in needs being completely met.

In other words, all that I would ask from a woman is something like, "I love you and therefore I will try my best to meet your needs". And all that a woman should ask from me is that I try my best to meet her needs.

If her honest best effort to enthusiastically meet my needs results in no sex, so be it.

But to say, "I am going to try my best to meet your needs in every way except this way", is wrong. The refusal to make an effort does not have to be in the area of sex. Refusing to make the effort to meet any of your partner's needs--or telling your partner that if in spite of his/her genuine effort he/she is unable to meet a need then that will be a deal breaker--is wrong.

 

[nick garai]

Sex is over-rated.