Originally posted by 1hope
Quaffer..CFS Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is an illness that to best describe it feels like the flue that never goes away. But your testimony really hit home with me. Before I was ever born my mother had said she didn't want a girl and I was he only girl born into a home full of boys. She had a habit of calling me names Dummy ,Stupid, Ignorant...while I was growing up. She also referred to me as being a "girl" as if it were a lowly thing. My older brothers picked up on it and parroted her words Now she became saved when I was 2 or 3 yrs. old, but the name calling continued. I had very low-self esteem and was always rejected by others. I think that when she became a born again Christian it was worse on me then before she was saved.
I feel that what she said was a great impact on the depression and over-sensitivity I suffered as a child.I do not believe that her words are now the cause of the CFS though, that is in the past. I did have a hard time forgiving her because she had started in on the grand kids. Well when one son his second girl, my mothers response "a girl". I've actually prayed over my nieces not to go through what I did.
I have spoken forgiveness and asked God to give me peace. I have forgiven but the fact that too often the hurtful memories come back to me, maybe I still need to let go of a part of that past. Maybe I haven't forgiven the way I thought.
1hope,
Thanks so much for your responsiveness.
Unforgiveness can cause a lot of physical problem. Spiritually, unforgiveness will tie you to that person, as a dead weight. It will sap your energy spiritually and physically. Do ask God to show you how to forgive. It can never hurt.
You could be surprised at the effects of untrue words on our spirits that can effect us physically.
Prov 18:21 says, (KJV)"Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof".
In my case that is exactly what happened. When I first started my period, when my dad would go to the store, and it was that time of month, I would ask him to get some more for me. Many times he would become quite angry, not because it was him purchasing them, but because of the cost of the items. He would throw a fit and I honestly do not remember the words he used but I know how I felt. I felt worthless and embarrassed that I was a girl. Even at that young age, I began to experience unusually, excessive bleeding.
It was only during my time of recovery from the surgery that the Lord revealed the source of the problem. At first, I was angry at my father for speaking such words over me. His words had cursed my womb from the beginning. I know he did not mean to do that, but as you can see from that verse in Prov., words are quite important.
Now, Jesus has redeemed us from the curse of the law. However, our enemy goes about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. And, our enemy is a thief, a lyer, and a destroyer.
If we do not know what God's will is (it's written for us), then for lack of knowledge we allow our enemy to steal, kill, and destroy anything he can get away with.
According to scripture, (IS 53:5) "by his stripes we are healed" and 1 Peter 2:24 "by Whose stripes you were healed", we see that it is His will that you be healed. God's will is not wishy, washy as our's. Changing and ever dependant upon His mood of the moment. It is more like the last Will and Testament. It's a covenant that was made with us. He does not change. He is not moody. He does things according to His will, which is written in His Word.
The more knowledge we have about what His will is, the more we can begin to speak what is correct. And therefore, changing, eating the fruit of death to eating the fruit of life.
Your mother spoke words of death but you can speak words of life. Instead of just taking what you hear, start combatting that with words of life.
Such as: what does God say about you? He does not say your stupid. He says, you're seated in heavenly places with Him. He says, you are redeemed from the curse of the law. He says, He loved you so much that He gave His only begotten Son for you.
As you read your Bible, begin to write down the things that God says about you. When you pray, say things like, "Father, I thank You that You sent Your Son for me. I thank you that you've given me a seat in heavenly places with you. I thank you that I am redeemed from the curse of the law, etc, etc.
You'll be amazed at the changes that you will begin to see. Once you've asked God to meet a need that is clear in His Word that He wants to meet, you don't need to ask Him anymore. It's done. After that just praise and thank Him for the answer. Praying as I've demonstrated for you above.
You may have to do this for some time before you see any physical changes. But then again, you may not. Keep at it. Even after you're manifested healing.
This is the proper way to pray. We do not need to beg God to meet a need that we have. We need to ask, then go on as if it's been answered with a yes. Because God does not give stones when we ask for bread. And He does not starve His children of their bread.
Please keep me posted sister. If you desire, PM me.
I'm praying for you.
Barbara