could i be single forever?

[lenamuo]

Hello everyone
I am completely new here to Christian Forums, although my relationship with God isn't I've been reading some posts about people who have never dated a guy or girl and they are frustrated about it. I have the same experience. I have never had a boyfriend, never dated and I am 21 this year. No one has asked me out maybe because I have a really shy personality and don't know how to talk with others, and maybe I am not beautiful. Now I am worried if I will be staying single forever. There is this boy who is also Christian and a best friend of mine, who I believe likes me and I do like him as well, but we have never said any ever of this and now he has a girlfriend. He would be a perfect boyfriend I believe. I guess at the end of the day, it is God's plan of my future, and if the plan is I will be single, I am happy with that. Still, it will be nice to have a husband and children, because when I age, I will like company throughout the stages of life. Does anyone have any advice?

Thanks
Lena

 

[ks777]

Hey Lena, there is a possibility you could be single forever, although it's very slim. You're only 21, probably only had about 6 potential years of dating so far, and judging by the average life expectancy in (I'm guessing you live in the US) you've got about another 59 years to find someone. I'd say it's very likely you'll find someone.

If you like this guy, ask him out.

 

[K9_Trainer]

You're life is just starting and you're just now at the age where you have a better grasp on who you are and what you want in life. Enjoy your life right now and don't fret over relationships and boys, it's really not worth it.

 

[Blank123]

I wouldn't worry about it. I didn't officially start dating until I was 21, and I think I was better for it. When its right, it'll happen.

 

[Nilloc]

You can at least take comfort in the fact you have a much better chance of finding someone than I do.

You're life is just starting and you're just now at the age where you have a better grasp on who you are and what you want in life. Enjoy your life right now and don't fret over relationships and boys, it's really not worth it.

That'd be fine if not for some of us (at least this is true in my case) who want to be in relationships when we're young and not when we're old.

 

[K9_Trainer]

You can at least take comfort in the fact you have a much better chance of finding someone than I do.


That'd be fine if not for some of us (at least this is true in my case) who want to be in relationships when we're young and not when we're old.

Regardless of when you want a relationship or to get married, you will be better equipped to handle it when you are 27 vs 21. Or even 25 vs 21. That's not "old" lol (or if it seems old now, give it a couple years and then it won't).

Most people I know who married young wish they would have waited because in retrospect, they really weren't ready, no matter how mature they were for their age, or how much they thought they were ready. Every bit of life experience you can get before you get married is beneficial.

 

[jess9450]

Welcome to the forum!

Like others have said, you're still young; you've got plenty of dating years ahead of you I would caution you though on pursuing this male friend of yours (if that is still your desire) because he already has a girlfriend. Continue being his friend, and if the relationship situation ever changes between him and his girlfriend, then talk to him about what you've shared with us.

 

[Jupiter Drops]

Find that out by yourself as you live on and on and on.

 

[Nilloc]

Regardless of when you want a relationship or to get married, you will be better equipped to handle it when you are 27 vs 21. Or even 25 vs 21. That's not "old" lol (or if it seems old now, give it a couple years and then it won't).

Most people I know who married young wish they would have waited because in retrospect, they really weren't ready, no matter how mature they were for their age, or how much they thought they were ready. Every bit of life experience you can get before you get married is beneficial.

I never want to get married, so as far as that goes, I have no worries about not being "ready" for it. But even if 25 or 27 isn't old overall, it's still too old for me in regards to non-marriage romantic relationships.

 

[pressingon17]

My encouragement to you is, I had a youth pastor who never dated or anything, met a young lady at church, they courted, got engaged, and got married. He was 32 when they got married, she was 34. They didn't kiss till the wedding day and they were both each others first kiss EVER!!! They have 2 beautiful little girls now, a 18 month old, and a 3 month old. I admire him, I really do, he worked at a bank for over 10 years and when he proposed he during his time being single, had opened a seperate bank account, and put 1% of each check in it for just an engagement ring!!!! He bought her a $25,000 engagement/wedding ring. He planned ahead and had a house payed off, a car payed off, his faith was very strong in the Lord, and now he has a wonderful family. He's my encouragement. You might feel like it now but it won't be forever. God has someone.

 

[redblue22]

welcome!

advice? umm, no.

it sounds like you got a guy in your scope. hope that works. I'm sure a lot of people have ideas here. he's not married right? of course you can wait for better timing. but then again he isn't married. so . . . good luck.

you'll find a lot of other guys are in the forest with a good pair of wide binoculars.

 

[Paulie079]

Lena, I'm gonna put it to you straight. You're 21, so you have at LEAST 15 more years to be hot (This is what I always tell myself when I get depressed about singleness.)

 

[lenamuo]

Thank you everyone for your thoughts and advice. I will keep all of them in mind. God Bless you

 

[lenamuo]

Nope he is not married. Hopefully

 

[Spunkn]

I guess at the end of the day, it is God's plan of my future, and if the plan is I will be single, I am happy with that.

This is the perfect attitude to have. Don't give up on that thought

I'm 29. No official dates ever. Had one "unofficial-dating" experience that turned out horrible. But I've healed from that, and I'm building myself back up to the point where I feel that I'd be able to fully offer myself to someone, not just be in a relationship because I'm lonely.

It's hard, and it takes a lot of patience. But don't give up, when it's with the right person, according to God's plan, the wait will be worth it!

 

[ks777]

Nope he is not married. Hopefully

Wow you're Australian too

My rule is if they're married, obviously don't pursue anything, but if they're boyfriend/girlfriend they're free game. If he likes you more then you'll be the new girlfriend.

 

[redblue22]

Paulie--Don't worry, you'll stay hot your whole life.

more thoughts:

There's no point in listening to the "you're young" advice as if you should sit back. You are plenty old enough and smart and good looking and good enough to date. I don't need anything to know that stuff. (but I do evaluations of photos free of charge) Dating can be fun and trying things out without commitment. If someone is soooo committed you can't step into the dance, that's called "marriage."

John Wesley got ticked because he turned some girl down who later got married. He tried to trick her into asking him first if someone else proposed, but he wasn't man enough to step up. You snooze, you lose.

Be bold, be brave, and don't give up.

 

[MrMoe]

Wow you're Australian too

My rule is if they're married, obviously don't pursue anything, but if they're boyfriend/girlfriend they're free game. If he likes you more then you'll be the new girlfriend.

don't even think of trying this with the person I'm thinking of right now

 

[MrMoe]

Hello everyone
I am completely new here to Christian Forums, although my relationship with God isn't I've been reading some posts about people who have never dated a guy or girl and they are frustrated about it. I have the same experience. I have never had a boyfriend, never dated and I am 21 this year. No one has asked me out maybe because I have a really shy personality and don't know how to talk with others, and maybe I am not beautiful. Now I am worried if I will be staying single forever. There is this boy who is also Christian and a best friend of mine, who I believe likes me and I do like him as well, but we have never said any ever of this and now he has a girlfriend. He would be a perfect boyfriend I believe. I guess at the end of the day, it is God's plan of my future, and if the plan is I will be single, I am happy with that. Still, it will be nice to have a husband and children, because when I age, I will like company throughout the stages of life. Does anyone have any advice?

Thanks
Lena

You worry too much. Your only 21, I'm 25. You still got loads of time

 

[lenamuo]

Haha. Yeah I tend to be perceived as a person who worries too much. I guess I do worry too much. but thanks anyway