Coping with singleness in your 30s

[JustSomeBloke]

Thank you. There're things I've been dealing with since the following day after the incident and no Doctor has been able to help. These make healing from the trauma all the more impossible because everyday I'm reminded of what happened. As for purity, I no longer feel pure and it's one of the reasons I'm now considering hymenoplasty, which I found out about last year. I guess it won't bring back my virginity per se but I guess I might feel better restoring what was unfairly taken away from me and I can still feel like I kept myself till marriage, which was my goal all along. But if I don't get married, no man will come near me. Physical intimacy should only be between a married man and woman. This has always been my mentality and my goal for myself; that much hasn't changed.

You are not defined by the evil, sin, and criminality of others. In God's eyes, and in the eyes of your Christian brothers and sisters, you are still pure. I pray that you will come to the same conclusion yourself.

 

[christiansoccerplayer]

I turn 33 today and I'm starting to wonder if this marriage thing will ever happen for me. Aside from the relationship I was in when I was 25 [the only relationship I've ever been in and a non-sexual one at that] which lasted 8 months because he was cheating; and being sexually assaulted at 29 and losing my virginity on October 8, 2016, I've pretty much been alone all my life. My plan was to wait until marriage, which was a promise I made to myself since I was a teenager. I know I harbor resentment towards men now and have fears about being abused, so I do know I've a lot of healing to do as a result of the things that have happened to me, but I would still like to get married someday to my God-ordained man or someone with the characteristics I'm looking for. I'm just starting to think he doesn't exist and might have to come to terms with being single for the long haul. Most of my peers are in a relationship or some sort or already married with kids, but I'd like to think there are other single 30-somethings, 40-somethings, etc, out there, and would like to hear how y'all are coping, if there're things you're doing to actively find the right partner, of if you're like me and somehow giving up hope of ever finding him or her.

in my early 40s (male), never had a relationship; would like to get married but since I don't do anything to find a partner and it feels like since I just have neither the energy or the patience to search, I will most likely be single on my final day on Earth (my own death or the Rapture) unless God works a miracle the size of parting the Red Sea.

 

[ReesePiece23]

in my early 40s (male), never had a relationship; would like to get married but since I don't do anything to find a partner and it feels like since I just have neither the energy or the patience to search, I will most likely be single on my final day on Earth (my own death or the Rapture) unless God works a miracle the size of parting the Red Sea.

You owe it to yourself to enjoy yourself.

I couldn't imagine a better time than right NOW to be a forty-something. Get yourself into the best shape of your life, travel, take on a few new hobbies and stop being so serious. Tick off the bucket list and enjoy doing it (okay, once the restrictions are lifted. Obviously.)

There's absolutely ZERO need to put in any effort or do any 'searching'. Labouring over the easy stuff is half the problem of this millennial age.

 

[Mosheli]

I'm single and about 46 yrs old now and have never had a relationship. (I first woke up to it at 35.) What is worse is that I don't have a job and i have a disability and i can't get out much, and am in a small population country and "city", so my chances of ever meeting someone are pretty slim barring a miracle (requiring faith). Most people over 30 already have met someone and most "singles" over 30 are "recycled" and have children. I don't worry about it as much anymore but it does hurt alot (I don't like celebrating my birthdays because of it). I still include in my prayers asking for God to find me someone before I turn 50 but it is so hard to believe after so long no answer. Failing meeting someone in this life the only hope i see sometimes is that maybe we will be recompensed in the Millenium to marry someone then and not forever miss out, but I worry because Jesus said the resurrected are like the angels and don't marry?