Tonight, I was sitting in Mass and my Father was saying the Homily. He mentioned something about conversion. When does one know when they have converted? He said something that caught me by surprise. He said that we all are continually the conversion process.
I believe what he was saying is that once we make this decision and turn our lives and hearts over to Christ and truly and sincerely start our walk of faith... that we slowly have our lives converting to be more like Christ. That we all are a work in progress or in other words a conversion in progress. That becoming Catholic is only the first part of the conversion... the other parts of conversion is the daily living our life for God. That the conversion continues on and on. I hope this makes some sense. It did to me at the time.
What is my conversion story? It started when I was very young. I grew up Pentecostal. After I married, I became Methodist. Then for some time, I grew away from going to church. One day, my grandma reminded me of how important Jesus is and she made me promise to take my kids to church. I kept my promise and we attended a Lutheran church. I've taught Sunday school at the Methodist church and the Lutheran church too.
I've always believed that Jesus is the only begotten Son of God and the message of salvation through my upbringing, but I grew far from God in my heart. I didn't truly embrace Him. Although, while attending the Lutheran church, I started to truly pray and open up my heart to God again. I reached out to Him and started to pray for my husband to start attending church again too.
About 6 months after I started praying for my husband, he came home one day from work and was soooooo excited. He was selling advertisement in his magazine and in the process of trying to sell to a Catholic Book Store owner, he discovered that the Catholic book store had tons of history books on Rome. He was independently studying the history of Rome and he was learning about the Christians who were being torchered and fed to the lions... etc... When he saw all of those books on Rome, he started to ask questions and the owner had the answers and was helpful. That is how it all started.
When my husband came home sharing this information with me, I was scared that he was going to become Catholic and he said..."no way"... "I'm not into tradition and I'm too much of a free spirit and independent... never into all of that discipline strict religious stuff". Famous last words. He kept going back to the book store asking questions and everytime he would come home and tell me about it. I started to really pray and I came to the conclusion that I wanted my husband to be with God and if he wanted to become Catholic than so be it. Atleast he would be back with God and attending church again.
My husband did attend mass and even stayed to pray the Rosary after mass with the Rosary group. I didn't attend mass with him at this point. I noticed that he was changing in a good way, although, he has always been a good person, a good husband and a good father, he was now a man of faith. I knew that I had to learn more about Catholicism and that I had a lot of questions myself. So I started asking questions and seeking answers. For the first time, there were answers to my questions.
But what really grabbed my heart and mind and soul... it was the actual mass itself. The first time that I had ever attended mass, I noticed a holiness and serenity that I never noticed before. There was reverence and honor that I hadn't felt ever. Also, I don't know why, but I had tears flowing out of my eyes... like a cleansing or something... it happened while we were kneeling and praying before the Eucharist was given out, I couldn't go up and receive the Eucharist because I wasn't Catholic... but I wanted the Eucharist so badly. I knew what then and there that God wanted me there and that for the first time in my life... there was complete truth in fullness. I don't know how to explain it... it is like waking up after a long sleep and feeling the bright sun shine on your face. The girls attended faith formation classes and hubby and I attended RCIA and 7 years later here I am... LOL
God's Peace,
Debbie