I was raised in the Assemblies of God (pentecostal), and even though the minister was my dad's uncle my mom was always the more devout one. So we went to church regulary sometimes Sunday AM, eve and Wednesdays, but very little discussion at home. I don't want to say things were all bad, but the focus on end-times tribulation beliefs, heavy sermons and even the speaking in tongues which frightened me as a kid and disturbed me even as I got older was hard on me. They had a concept of grave sin, and an unconfessed grave sin could condemn you. Also if you 'backslid' and didn't live a Christian life you might go to hell. I never could figure out what a grave sin was beyond murder, suicide or adultery ... they really weren't clear on that. Actually some of it when I started really learning Catholic belief having that background helped me ... where I had never embraced a once-saved-always-saved (OSAS) concept. So didn't have that to overcome.
I have attended baptist, and finished my college degree at a Southern Baptist University. Really very occasional church attendence during college and time in the army. I still believed but didn't think of it. Though I like to think my belief influenced my behavior on some levels, on other levels I didn't really live a Christian life during that time. I looked around a bit, even attended a Lutheran service once and took communion - didn't realize at the time that I wasn't supposed to as I was not baptized and not Lutheran.
When the older 2 boys were young, I thought about converting to Catholicism because my husband had been raised Catholic. Thought he'd be more excited about church in a familiar environment. At the point I saw he wasn't more interested I dropped the idea - it was also about the same time Matt was diagnosed with autism. I am glad I didn't convert then as I didn't even know the right questions to ask.
A lady who worked with Matt in the spec. ed preschool program invited us to the Nazarene church. Was after my youngest was born and they were willing to watch Matt in the nursery with Jeff. Nazarene was very much like AoG-lite. Very similiar beliefs but less intense or 'harsh' ... didn't obsess over Revelation all the time. No speaking in tongues. So nice in that it was familiar and minus the things that had bothered me about AoG. But as Matt grew he was more difficult to handle, it was a fairly long drive too. My husband went a while but dropped out. Hard to handle kids by myself and hubby not thrilled to watch them during his time off on the weekend. So dropped out on that eventually.
At some point after this a group of Jehovah's Witnesses came by. I was trying hard to blow them off. An older gent said something that actually peeved me off (can't recall now) but the lady with them gave him a look and smoothed it over ... offered to come by and do a Bible study. So I did. It was nice to discuss things. Though I really wan't serious about joining I was interested and enjoyed reading their perspective. Gave me things to think about. I wasn't offended by the nonTrinitarian belief as I never felt the Trinity made sense, it seemed just a way to explain away a polytheistic belief ... though I still felt Jesus was somehow divine. After a while she didn't visit as often, probably because I wasn't ready to join. Things with Matt were getting more difficult, Jeff was diagnosed PDD/autistic as well. I slipped into a time where I was mad at God. I came to a conclusion that God wasn't personal in the way I had been raised to believe, because letting innocent people suffer didn't make sense to me. A real father would do anything to spare innocent suffering. -even if I deserved and 'earned' suffering, Matt hadn't as he was innocent. The fallen world as the only reason most prots give for people's suffering just added to that lack of a hands-on God image, like God just walked away and left us.
At some point, suppose I hit a real low and decided I had to make peace with God. So did some web surfing, and I was actively looking for nonTrinitarian groups besides the JW's (I knew their history enough with the prediction of 1914 coming of Christ then changed it to a secret coming since it didn't happen.) I found a protestant ran board that had areas dedicated to various beliefs, ran by a reformed OSAS fellow. Treated people of other beliefs badly, IMO. I was most interested in investigating the Christadelphians as they were very articulate. But they believed Jesus was only a man. That bothered me. I felt their arguments against the Trinity mopped the floor on the Trintarians. They knew scripture, history, greek. The thing that did eventually bother me was they had divisions within their little group that had started relatively late in Christian history and one fellow said it was within their belief to say Jesus was more than just a man. Someone in the Christadelphian section suggested a book called Concepts of Father, Son and Holy Spirit by Matthew Alfs which I saw the spectrum of beliefs on the Trinity and variations. I felt I could accept one of the looser Trinitarian views. It gave me some more history there too, looking at the creeds and how it developed over time.
For some reason I stopped in at the Catholic board on that board system, still searching. Mainly I went in and just defended Catholics as being Christian. It didn't take me long to start having the 'that makes sense' feeling on the Catholic arguments, and even more the wrenching out of context viewpoints used against Catholics on some things. I used my NIV Study Bible that I got for my Old/New Testament classes in college, and using that and some time I saw how Catholics really have a wholistic view of scripture. The ECF's was a surprising revelation too. Seeing how Christianity had strayed left and right and fragmented over time (like AoG began around beginning of 1900's, had women pastors, etc. where that wasn't historical Christianity). I had a sense of the need for authority, that truth and Christian unity wasn't going to be found where there were hundreds of different churches. That we were supposed to be one, not divided and scattered. Personally, I don't go by 30,000 denominations number for prots, unless you mean that many plus authorities... millions as each person in the end is their own authority in the Bible-only interpretation without a Magisterium.
Anyhow, some bumps in the road in accepting something Marian - strangely never had a problem with Mary as Mother of God even when I didn't believe in the Trinity ... and I was baptized, confirmed and first communion April 19, 2003.
Strange I will always remember that date, but never really could pinpoint the many conversions/sinner prayers I went thru when I was young.
That is the sort of choppy and not too long version.
Marcia
I have attended baptist, and finished my college degree at a Southern Baptist University. Really very occasional church attendence during college and time in the army. I still believed but didn't think of it. Though I like to think my belief influenced my behavior on some levels, on other levels I didn't really live a Christian life during that time. I looked around a bit, even attended a Lutheran service once and took communion - didn't realize at the time that I wasn't supposed to as I was not baptized and not Lutheran.
When the older 2 boys were young, I thought about converting to Catholicism because my husband had been raised Catholic. Thought he'd be more excited about church in a familiar environment. At the point I saw he wasn't more interested I dropped the idea - it was also about the same time Matt was diagnosed with autism. I am glad I didn't convert then as I didn't even know the right questions to ask.
A lady who worked with Matt in the spec. ed preschool program invited us to the Nazarene church. Was after my youngest was born and they were willing to watch Matt in the nursery with Jeff. Nazarene was very much like AoG-lite. Very similiar beliefs but less intense or 'harsh' ... didn't obsess over Revelation all the time. No speaking in tongues. So nice in that it was familiar and minus the things that had bothered me about AoG. But as Matt grew he was more difficult to handle, it was a fairly long drive too. My husband went a while but dropped out. Hard to handle kids by myself and hubby not thrilled to watch them during his time off on the weekend. So dropped out on that eventually.
At some point after this a group of Jehovah's Witnesses came by. I was trying hard to blow them off. An older gent said something that actually peeved me off (can't recall now) but the lady with them gave him a look and smoothed it over ... offered to come by and do a Bible study. So I did. It was nice to discuss things. Though I really wan't serious about joining I was interested and enjoyed reading their perspective. Gave me things to think about. I wasn't offended by the nonTrinitarian belief as I never felt the Trinity made sense, it seemed just a way to explain away a polytheistic belief ... though I still felt Jesus was somehow divine. After a while she didn't visit as often, probably because I wasn't ready to join. Things with Matt were getting more difficult, Jeff was diagnosed PDD/autistic as well. I slipped into a time where I was mad at God. I came to a conclusion that God wasn't personal in the way I had been raised to believe, because letting innocent people suffer didn't make sense to me. A real father would do anything to spare innocent suffering. -even if I deserved and 'earned' suffering, Matt hadn't as he was innocent. The fallen world as the only reason most prots give for people's suffering just added to that lack of a hands-on God image, like God just walked away and left us.
At some point, suppose I hit a real low and decided I had to make peace with God. So did some web surfing, and I was actively looking for nonTrinitarian groups besides the JW's (I knew their history enough with the prediction of 1914 coming of Christ then changed it to a secret coming since it didn't happen.) I found a protestant ran board that had areas dedicated to various beliefs, ran by a reformed OSAS fellow. Treated people of other beliefs badly, IMO. I was most interested in investigating the Christadelphians as they were very articulate. But they believed Jesus was only a man. That bothered me. I felt their arguments against the Trinity mopped the floor on the Trintarians. They knew scripture, history, greek. The thing that did eventually bother me was they had divisions within their little group that had started relatively late in Christian history and one fellow said it was within their belief to say Jesus was more than just a man. Someone in the Christadelphian section suggested a book called Concepts of Father, Son and Holy Spirit by Matthew Alfs which I saw the spectrum of beliefs on the Trinity and variations. I felt I could accept one of the looser Trinitarian views. It gave me some more history there too, looking at the creeds and how it developed over time.
For some reason I stopped in at the Catholic board on that board system, still searching. Mainly I went in and just defended Catholics as being Christian. It didn't take me long to start having the 'that makes sense' feeling on the Catholic arguments, and even more the wrenching out of context viewpoints used against Catholics on some things. I used my NIV Study Bible that I got for my Old/New Testament classes in college, and using that and some time I saw how Catholics really have a wholistic view of scripture. The ECF's was a surprising revelation too. Seeing how Christianity had strayed left and right and fragmented over time (like AoG began around beginning of 1900's, had women pastors, etc. where that wasn't historical Christianity). I had a sense of the need for authority, that truth and Christian unity wasn't going to be found where there were hundreds of different churches. That we were supposed to be one, not divided and scattered. Personally, I don't go by 30,000 denominations number for prots, unless you mean that many plus authorities... millions as each person in the end is their own authority in the Bible-only interpretation without a Magisterium.
Anyhow, some bumps in the road in accepting something Marian - strangely never had a problem with Mary as Mother of God even when I didn't believe in the Trinity ... and I was baptized, confirmed and first communion April 19, 2003.
Strange I will always remember that date, but never really could pinpoint the many conversions/sinner prayers I went thru when I was young.That is the sort of choppy and not too long version.
Marcia
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