Anybody that thinks verbal abuse is not dangerous is sorely mistaken. When I was in an abusive relationship, my ex's abuse was mostly verbal/emotional up until shortly before I finally left him. The OP of the thread that triggered this discussion mentioned some things her husband said to her that sounded much like the things my ex said to me. However, SOME of the things she mentioned (him showing her pictures of other women and talking about cheating on her) were extremes I did not experience with my ex. I was mostly told I couldn't do anything right, was lazy, would never finish school or amount to anything, would never be able to get anybody else if I left him, would be a bad mother if I ever had children, etc. Even without being told about being cheated on like the OP in the other thread, I was already suicidal (I had made a will, had a detailed plan of how to do it, etc). One day, I must have indicated as much to my ex. His response to that was to grab one of his guns out of the closet and hand it to me, telling me to go ahead and do it. When I left him, the extent of physical things he had done were to grab me by my arms one time and also to have shoved me to the floor in our apartment (an event where the neighbors wanted to call the police and I told them not to). He had put me in danger in other ways, however - for example, one time I had a panic attack in Old Navy and we had to leave the store. His response to my panic attack was to drive around like an enraged maniac through Atlanta, putting us both in danger and everybody else in our path in danger, too.
I don't see how anybody could recommend anything less than separation from someone who is abusive. When there is adultery involved in an abusive situation - frankly, I think it is a blessing in disguise and I think there absolutely should be advice for divorce and nothing less than that - ever.
