Conversations with Staff in Married Forum

[A New Dawn]

I am closing this for a while because it is becoming what we didn't want it to become when it was started.

 

[motherprayer]

Below are a few highlights from this thread. I tried to get a concise message from each poster, but if you feel that your opinion has not been adequately highlighted here, please PM me and I will add to the list:

-One member feels that it is a good rule, and that allowing promotion of divorce is "reckless" and said "Why is it that separation and or therapy is not enough?" He also said it is not our place to encourage divorce.
-Another member stated that their opinion is it is up to the person receiving the advice to either follow through with it or go against it, and that it isn't the responsibility of the person giving it whether they follow it or not.
-One member suggested directing those thinking about divorce to the Divorced or Separated subforum (not sure if that is allowed with the rules?) (NOTE: another member mentioned also that it may be counterproductive to direct them to another area, especially Divorced or Separated, which is not a well-trafficked area)
-One member stressed that we may only have one chance to offer someone advice for leaving what may be an abusive spouse.
-The opinion was brought up that some feel the rules at CF seemed to be geared more towards "avoiding controversy and excess work for the moderators" than at providing Biblical advice.
-Several posters stated they feel the rule itself is unbiblical.
-One member mentioned feeling stifled in speaking about healthy boundaries. She also feels that we should disallow phrases such as "those that don't hold to Scriptural instruction" which I feel might not be such a bad idea?
-Another member said, being that separation is allowed to be advised, that we should advise that rather than divorce,
-It was explained that the same legal protections are available to married women as are to separated and divorced women.
-Some feel that we should give advice but not tell someone specifically what they should do, and also that divorce should only be promoted in the case of physical danger or adultery.
-One member stated, "The forum rule allows to talk about keeping the marriage together, but does not allow talking about divorce. Since this could put people at grave risk, divorce should be an option to be discussed as a last resort, when all other options are exhausted.
-This was just PMed to me: t's important that people listen to/read what the OP is asking and not go off on a tangent. One can remind the poster that God is with her, and that there are other steps to be taken prior to "just get a divorce." ​

Overall, there are a myriad of differing opinions. However, one thing I noted is that, aside from a general agreement that it is okay to suggest divorce in an abusive situation, the unfortunate thing is that it is near impossible, unless the poster outright says they are being hurt, to diagnose whether a situation truly IS abusive or is simply uncomfortable.


Note: We feel as though the sharing of opinions has ended, and therefore this thread will remain closed. Thank you all for your input, and for being patient with us as we try to sort this out!