Constantly under scrutiny ...

[DreamsAreFree]

I'm on staff at a pentecostal church. My prayer style is somewhat quiet ... I have a more traditional kind of background. I'm not 'out there'.

I know this isn't a problem in itself. The problem is that I constantly feel like the pastor is scritinising me. In fact, I know he is. Just as one example ... this morning we had our staff meeting and we had some time of prayer. I had quite a morning getting there and had to get my headspace sorted so I spent a moment, short moment, looking out the window before entering in. I was praying, God knew that, but in the reflection in the window I could see him looking at me and wearing a very concerned reflection. When he isn't around I find it so much easier to enter into prayer but I'm still a quiet praying person.

They are eyeing me up for eldership so I know that prayer approach will be an issue they will be observing. Based on this alone, I'm not sure I can make the grade. That's not right but it's the way it is... :-/

Not really sure how to feel about this.

 

[drstevej]

Please God, not men. He knows your heart.

BTW, I have been a pastor and elder for decades.

 

[Saucy]

Amen Rep Daddy...if you don't make the grade because you look out a window to reflect with God, then you don't belong there. Trust God.

 

[drich0150]

Not really sure how to feel about this.

"This" is religion, and your right it has little to do with the relationship between you and God. But like it or not your eldership, is apart of "that" religion. I'm not trying to trivialize the positions elders have and hold, but an eldership Is a representation of one's devotion and adherence to what ever religious organization that person belongs to.

Remember "religion" is a tool. Not a guaranty of salvation, and in that tool comes an opportunity for righteousness and unrighteous behavior. It's all on how the people in that religion use that tool.

If you seek a position of prominence among those in your religion, then your answer is simple. Put down your ways of worship and relationship, and seek opportunities to "perform" religious acts and behaviors before the decision makers of your church. Show that you are a "team player" and know the in's and outs of your system of religion.. This is what some churches want in their leadership If you want to be apart of that leadership then you will have to play to those decision makers.

Or if you seek to do God's work and will, even if it means being outside of title and position among your peers, you can take the road Paul blazed a couple thousand years ago. Even without the immediate blessing from the original 12 he went out work, and served God without title or authority from the "Super apostles". He taught and showed people not only how to be saved but how to live under the new rule of Christianity. I think 1Co. 9 says it best,1Am I not free? Am I not an apostle? Have I not seen Jesus our Lord? Are you not the result of my work in the Lord? 2Even though I may not be an apostle to others, surely I am to you! For you are the seal of my apostleship in the Lord.


This is a strong testament to "Leadership/eldership" without title or recognition from others. What more important to you?

 

[kellyc]

i don't know drich, i don't know if he should try to force some type of expression when he doesn't feel it or want to do it though i totally see your point about what he should be representing to the church. maybe he should directly ask the senior pastor what he is thinking, rather than speculating on what is wrong, if anything.

 

[DreamsAreFree]

Very good food for thought. I'm not going to put on shows of devotion to 'perform' to those who make decisions. That would be doing like the Pharisees do and trying to look good before man rather than God. I don't think this would be a noble thing in a leader at all. I'd rather be free to just serve and love in my own way rather than from a position of leadership attained by acting for the sake of achieving it.

 

[Elijah2]

Mate, His Word says to humble yourself and you will be exalted.

Eldership in the church these days, is how you will come over to present yourself to others, and the expectations of the clique in the church. Being a "nice guy" with a cheesy grin. Being a figurehead, and a 'yes' man.

Now that is what most 80% of churches work in.

Well, I pray that you are in the remaining 20% of churches that elect those to the position of eldership as per HIS instrutions in HIS WORD.

Be blessed in Jesus' Name.

 

[Johnnz]

Pentecostal churches tend towards the extrovert. But who we really are must never be manipulated by or conformed to some image that is not who you are. That is virtually an idolatry, bowing down to someone else's image of what you should be. John NZ

 

[godsmacked]

Is it possible GOD is applying some pressure.

change is on its way?

good luck and ill' pray for you with my eyes open.

 

[DreamsAreFree]

It is possible that God is going to bring about some change. But this does go beyond this. I'm either equipped by God for leadership or I'm not. To force me to fit a mould isn't right IMO.

Believe me, I would love to be better at corporate prayer. I just haven't been raised that way and I don't pray loudly or demonstratively in corporate settings. I am fine one on one.

Maybe I just don't have what it takes...

 

[Elijah2]

It is possible that God is going to bring about some change. But this does go beyond this. I'm either equipped by God for leadership or I'm not. To force me to fit a mould isn't right IMO.

Believe me, I would love to be better at corporate prayer. I just haven't been raised that way and I don't pray loudly or demonstratively in corporate settings. I am fine one on one.

Maybe I just don't have what it takes...

Mate, our Lord Jesus Christ doesn't want you to be a sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. HE doesn't want you to parade around and be puffed up like some who don't pray from their heart and in love.

Be blessed in Jesus' Name.

 

[drich0150]

It is possible that God is going to bring about some change. But this does go beyond this. I'm either equipped by God for leadership or I'm not. To force me to fit a mould isn't right IMO.

Believe me, I would love to be better at corporate prayer. I just haven't been raised that way and I don't pray loudly or demonstratively in corporate settings. I am fine one on one.

Maybe I just don't have what it takes...

It's foolish for "leaders" to expect all others, to be considered for a leadership position to have all of the same spiritual gifts... Paul tells us in Co.12 there is one body with many parts. Look at verse 21

21The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" 22On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable
Then again in 27


27Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 28And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues. 29Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? 31But eagerly desire the greater gifts.

I fail to see how this would not scripturally translate to the church leadership.. Can't a leader be a teacher, and yet not be able to heal? what about someone gifted in administration, that may not be a great public speaker???
If certain "spiritual gifts" were required as a religious means of passage or possibly a requirement necessary for those specifically to your church, or religion, they may not necessarily be scriptural... then, again you have to determine what more important.. God's work, or Religious Title..

I think church is a good place to start your journey or relationship with Jesus. You Just can't let it get between you two later.

 

[tturt]

OP - I understand what you're saying but elders often lead the congregation in prayer. Our prayers whether they are spoken out loud or not need to come from our hearts - as you know. One way to be more comfortable is to pray out loud - you know when you're alone.

 

[Mack7]

Greetings and God bless. Keep going to God in prayer on the matter. Trust in Him to give you direction. It is written in Psalms 34:4, "I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears." Amen. We have the will but God has the way and the answers we seek. We just have to call on God and believe He will answer by faith.

As also written in Psalms 34:17-18, "The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their troubles. The Lord is nigh unto to them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit." God's love and understanding is unconditional. He has your answer. Amen. God bless all. Pray for each other always.

 

[godsmacked]

It is possible that God is going to bring about some change. But this does go beyond this. I'm either equipped by God for leadership or I'm not. To force me to fit a mould isn't right IMO.

Believe me, I would love to be better at corporate prayer. I just haven't been raised that way and I don't pray loudly or demonstratively in corporate settings. I am fine one on one.

Maybe I just don't have what it takes...

Maybe the mold you don't fit in is Pentecostal or just that particular church?
Let it play its self out. I'm sure you already pray about it.
Was a leadership position originally your idea?

 

[DreamsAreFree]

Was a leadership position originally your idea?

It just kind of 'happened' ... and now eldership is the next step that could happen and I feel the way I pray might hold me back.

 

[Vi]

Hi.

If you look like you're praying maybe they will respect that instead of thinking you look like you have ADD and are distracted. Sometimes they just need to know, so they don't assume something. ? maybe?

I understand what you are saying though.

There is a dear junior pastor at this church... he writes nice sermons, he presents them in a way most don't care for and criticize. He also has a wonderful singing voice (and is the muscial director for the services) but he has a limited speaking voice - his prayers, if you listen carefully are full of emotion and compassion and are just lovely I tell you. BUT - they sound meek and weak and difficult and just hard to 'enjoy hearing' for lack of a better explanation. I personally love his prayers and have sent anonymous cards telling him he has the most wonderful public prayers... but I fear I am almost alone in this...

I always hope and pray that the congregation knows what a gift they have in him.

 

[NewCovenant]

OP: Are you sure you are in the right type of church? For you, I mean. I'm not saying that there's something wrong with the church you attend, or that something is wrong with you. I'm just wonderful if you are a good match for the church you're in.

 

[DreamsAreFree]

OP: Are you sure you are in the right type of church? For you, I mean. I'm not saying that there's something wrong with the church you attend, or that something is wrong with you. I'm just wonderful if you are a good match for the church you're in.

I've wondered that BUT it can't be all bad if I've got where I am in leadership. However there is just this one weak area ...

Not that I would have a clue where else to go ...

 

[heron]

It can get frustrating when people don't respect you, or understand who you are. I have found that people lean toward thinking the worst until you set the record straight. Ask him if you could speak with him sometime, and clarify your goals, your motivations, and your faith walk. Most leaders don't have time to find that out about everyone.

After hearing a few good talks on women in business, I have realized that women often work dutifully and wait for others to notice, then get hurt when a brazen less-qualified man walks in and asks for a job, and gets it. We think it's just us, or the carelessness of our boss/minister.

But for a busy leader who needs to fill positions, it is almost a favor to him to set all the cards on the table and say, this is what I'm shooting for, and these are my qualifications.

I am guessing he is looking for someone who...

1. Works the room, engaging in conversation with a diverse range of people (narthex chat).

2. Notices little things that need to get done, and acts on them quickly (you probably do this now, as staff)

3. Is proactive about praying with individuals on the spot. If someone says they're sick, you say "let's pray now"

4. Some Charismatic preachers want prophetic elders. Whether that is appropriate or not, it might be a significant concern of his. Share things with him if you get even subtle visions or hunches. He wants to know that you are consulting God (and listening) when making decisions about the church.

5. Striving toward unity, or at least harmony, in board meetings.

6. Sensible and savvy to budget and maintenance decisions of the church. Some men consider this a weak spot for women, but I knew some amazing female elders who worked on million-dollar building projects.

7. Male. Many Charismatic churches will not allow women to be elders. even if yours does, there's bound to be a member or two who is offended by it, and will try to stop you getting there.

8. Time. It is flattering to be asked to be an elder, but it can be an incredible drain on your time. A leader will consider how much your family needs you, how generous you are with your time now, and how flexible you are about meeting times. It would be annoying to have an elder that backs out after a couple months, or has trouble coordinating schedules for meetings.

9. As you said, loud prayers. Ha ha. Even if the prayers are not loud, he will want someone who can solidly step in at a moment's notice, to cover for him. Sermons, communion, prayers, announcements, annual meetings.

I think your suspicions are right about loud prayers.. I've seen a few things that lead me to believe that. Some pastors treat it like a business, or a spiritual competition, or a domination competition (unless you're a Jezebel ) but some simply want to know that they will inspire the congregation toward worship. If you can show your heart in prayer, and your ability to lead people spiritually in your unique quiet way, then he will learn from you.

But if you really want to be an elder, start doing things that elders do. Make the choice obvious to him, and be direct in your conversations. Tell him what you need.