Confirmed Bachelor: Why Good Men Stay Single

[Eastern Drifter]

it's so easy for people (not you lol but in general) to tell us not to be desperate. how can us women not feel a tad desperate? as we get older and our ability to have children diminishes (our own children) and our ability to find unmarried people or undivorced people, we can't help but worry that time is not on our side. it's really easy IMHO to feel desperate internally for something right to happen.

A woman's youthful looks diminish as well. The clock does tick faster for women when it comes to the birds and the bees. In that sense they have it a lot harder than men, who can age and continue dating nonetheless.

Some women like a little gray hair on a man. Shows experience. But I don't hear men going around saying how they love lots of wrinkles plus gray hair on a woman.

 

[WarriorAngel]

Shallow Hal comes to mind.
Women arent as shallow as all that and that's why aging men are still acceptable.

Besides - for whatever reason, younger men are more interested in older women now. We wont get into the stupid nicknames they use either.

Desperation has a stench or a feel that causes men to run. Its up to women to not worry over them. Or...dont pay attention to me. It is not like i was ever there once.
But i was sorta kinda picky.... and that gave an air about me. Not saying i was all that. But something to be said about being picky. Once you get a rotten egg you get even pickier.

 

[Gwendolyn]

Try finding a meaningful relationship when you are sterile.

I haven't met a man yet who was willing to love me despite the fact that my uterus doesn't work.

I have a boyfriend, but he gave me the "I am expected to have children" talk (he is asian) so I don't see it lasting much longer.

And then there are the real winners who think that because I'm sterile, I must put out because everyone knows that if you can't have babies, that means that you must have wild sex parties all the time!

 

[Eastern Drifter]

Try finding a meaningful relationship when you are sterile.

I haven't met a man yet who was willing to love me despite the fact that my uterus doesn't work.

I have a boyfriend, but he gave me the "I am expected to have children" talk (he is asian) so I don't see it lasting much longer.

And then there are the real winners who think that because I'm sterile, I must put out because everyone knows that if you can't have babies, that means that you must have wild sex parties all the time!

Ever try rubbing the "Adoption Option" in their faces? That is, if you personally want kids.

 

[Gwendolyn]

Ever try rubbing the "Adoption Option" in their faces? That is, if you personally want kids.

I don't want kids, personally. That makes it even worse, and nearly impossible to find a religious man. They all want teh baybeez and think I am sinful because I can't have kids and don't want them (I have accepted the reality of my physical situation so that is why I am not bothered about it).

 

[Lady Bug]

I don't want kids, personally. That makes it even worse, and nearly impossible to find a religious man. They all want teh baybeez and think I am sinful because I can't have kids and don't want them (I have accepted the reality of my physical situation so that is why I am not bothered about it).

I'm so sorry

I have a pet peeve when people say "well if you can't have kids you can adopt." OK some people want to adopt but some people want their own...it's one's personal choice. Oh well I don't want to say anything to unintentionally upset anyone especially the ones that cannot have kids because I feel for their situation

 

[Cosmic Charlie]

Try finding a meaningful relationship when you are sterile.

I haven't met a man yet who was willing to love me despite the fact that my uterus doesn't work.

I have a boyfriend, but he gave me the "I am expected to have children" talk (he is asian) so I don't see it lasting much longer.

And then there are the real winners who think that because I'm sterile, I must put out because everyone knows that if you can't have babies, that means that you must have wild sex parties all the time!

Geez, Gwen

I'd just like to say sincerely and from the bottom of my heart:

As a man, after reading your post I'm tempted to cut my own penis off.


Men are pigs.

 

[Lady Bug]

I don't want kids, personally. That makes it even worse, and nearly impossible to find a religious man. They all want teh baybeez and think I am sinful because I can't have kids and don't want them (I have accepted the reality of my physical situation so that is why I am not bothered about it).

Well for what it's worth, I'm starting to wonder if "religious men" want wives to submit to them (not I'm not talking about sex, but just in general) simply because they're the wife.

 

[Michie]

Try finding a meaningful relationship when you are sterile.

I haven't met a man yet who was willing to love me despite the fact that my uterus doesn't work.

I have a boyfriend, but he gave me the "I am expected to have children" talk (he is asian) so I don't see it lasting much longer.

And then there are the real winners who think that because I'm sterile, I must put out because everyone knows that if you can't have babies, that means that you must have wild sex parties all the time!

Yeah then you get the guys that consider it lucky.

 

[Gwendolyn]

Geez, Gwen

I'd just like to say sincerely and from the bottom of my heart:

As a man, after reading your post I'm tempted to cut my own penis off.


Men are pigs.

Made me laugh. But seriously, I feel like I can't win.

 

[Michie]

Made me laugh. But seriously, I feel like I can't win.

Gwen, as someone that cannot have children I can relate to what you are saying. But there are good men out there that will love you for you. I warned my hubby before marriage & he loved me enough to not care. They are out there.

 

[enelya_taralom]

I don't run around like a desperate little harpie. Nor am I just sitting around waiting for him. I'm about to graduate law school for cripe's sake.

I wouldn't say I'm desperate either. Does it bother me? Yes, I'll often get down and frustrated wondering why not me, and I have a bit of a rep for being a downer in the Singles Forum because when I am feeling frustrated, I go there. But despite appearances on the forum (which I primarily use as my venting outlet), I don't throw myself at whoever comes along, nor am I actively looking. Rather, I also have invested in my studies. I'm a straight A student finishing my BA in History, applying for the School of Social Work, I'm active in several socities, volunteer, do yoga, have a cat, live on my own, and am an active member of my church... while I don't understand the lack of romance in my life, I also still have a life and try to live it as best I can

Gwen, as someone that cannot have children I can relate to what you are saying. But there are good men out there that will love you for you. I warned my hubby before marriage & he loved me enough to not care. They are out there.

Gwen, Michie is right I was going to post about two girls I know who also have fertility issues, one is married, the other has been in a long term relationship. Like Michie said, there are good men out there, it just might take some time to find one.

 

[Simon_Templar]

You know, I see we keep blaming women for giving the milk so easily (so to speak...haha), but I think a lot of girls do it because, quite frankly, guys just aren't interested otherwise.

And you can't get a date if guys just aren't interested.

Hint #1 - If a guy isn't interested unless a girl "puts out", he is by definition, the wrong type of guy.

 

[Simon_Templar]

Confirmed Bachelor: Why Good Men Stay Single

The obvious answer here is being avoided for a bunch to Christo-poltically correct reasons that likely have nothing to do with the situation.

Why do good men stay single:

They're gay.

Men are the most emotional dependent things in the world. Without a partner they are worthless.

There is only on reason that they would marry or at least semi-permenantly hook up with a women.

They like guys.

I hope you're joking.

 

[princess_ballet]

it's so easy for people (not you lol but in general) to tell us not to be desperate. how can us women not feel a tad desperate? as we get older and our ability to have children diminishes (our own children) and our ability to find unmarried people or undivorced people, we can't help but worry that time is not on our side. it's really easy IMHO to feel desperate internally for something right to happen.

I know exactly how you feel. I have PCOS which makes it even harder to have children. It took my mom and dad 9 years.

A woman's youthful looks diminish as well. The clock does tick faster for women when it comes to the birds and the bees. In that sense they have it a lot harder than men, who can age and continue dating nonetheless.

Some women like a little gray hair on a man. Shows experience. But I don't hear men going around saying how they love lots of wrinkles plus gray hair on a woman.

I tried explaining that to a former friend. He was a decent looking guy who was getting his law degree. Really? You're stock is going up every day, buddy.

Shallow Hal comes to mind.
Women arent as shallow as all that and that's why aging men are still acceptable.

Besides - for whatever reason, younger men are more interested in older women now. We wont get into the stupid nicknames they use either.

Desperation has a stench or a feel that causes men to run. Its up to women to not worry over them. Or...dont pay attention to me. It is not like i was ever there once.
But i was sorta kinda picky.... and that gave an air about me. Not saying i was all that. But something to be said about being picky. Once you get a rotten egg you get even pickier.

Well, everyone says I'm super picky (which I don't think I am...)....

I don't want kids, personally. That makes it even worse, and nearly impossible to find a religious man. They all want teh baybeez and think I am sinful because I can't have kids and don't want them (I have accepted the reality of my physical situation so that is why I am not bothered about it).

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

I always thought a confirmed bachelor was a euphemism for a Homosexual. LOL

 

[WarriorAngel]

Try finding a meaningful relationship when you are sterile.

I haven't met a man yet who was willing to love me despite the fact that my uterus doesn't work.

I have a boyfriend, but he gave me the "I am expected to have children" talk (he is asian) so I don't see it lasting much longer.

And then there are the real winners who think that because I'm sterile, I must put out because everyone knows that if you can't have babies, that means that you must have wild sex parties all the time!

Did you ever look under the Catholic single sites and look for a widower?
Generally one who has loved and lost may be more prone to being kind?
Plus may have had kids already or cant have kids...so many scenerios.

I always thought a confirmed bachelor was a euphemism for a Homosexual. LOL

It really depends on the ppl you talk to.

It is in the homosexual world - but it means in the hetero world it is a man who is called a COMMIT-O-PHOBIC and may never marry because he has a new girlfriend every month or so and is noncommittal.

Basically the sort who want their cake and eat it too without buying the ingredients for the cake.
As an example was Warren Beatty who eventually got old and less able to chase skirts so he settled down.
My mum would talk about him being a dog.
Warren Beatty - Biography

AND i think the song 'You're so vain' was written about him.

Carly Simon - You're So Vain - YouTube

 

[Eastern Drifter]

To be a boy is to grab handfuls of candy and run away. But if a boy wants to be a man, he'll love a woman and afterward remain beside her, to protect her, care for her, and be her pillar of strength.

 

[WarriorAngel]

LOL, and my mom was right... [ tho i repeated it]

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]FAME - 1989 [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]For the record, Simon acknowledges the song is a little about Beatty; it's a composite of three men from her L.A. days. Warren, it seems, was not a particularly good boyfriend.[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif] "And I never took him seriously," she says. "He was great fun and very, very, bright. But noooo ... as a boyfriend. [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A lot of women like somebody who's that smooth. In the beginning Warren was pretty good at pretending he was only smooth on the outside and a bowl of jelly on the inside. But he doesn't do that secondary act very well now." Carly Simon[/FONT]


Carly Simon Official Website - You're So Vain

 

[eastcoast_bsc]

Did you ever look under the Catholic single sites and look for a widower?
Generally one who has loved and lost may be more prone to being kind?
Plus may have had kids already or cant have kids...so many scenerios.



It really depends on the ppl you talk to.

It is in the homosexual world - but it means in the hetero world it is a man who is called a COMMIT-O-PHOBIC and may never marry because he has a new girlfriend every month or so and is noncommittal.

Basically the sort who want their cake and eat it too without buying the ingredients for the cake.
As an example was Warren Beatty who eventually got old and less able to chase skirts so he settled down.
My mum would talk about him being a dog.
Warren Beatty - Biography

AND i think the song 'You're so vain' was written about him.

Carly Simon - You're So Vain - YouTube

I was being facetious and yes it is used as a sarcastic euphemism. Got to love Carly Simon. The debate still rages, was she singing about Mick Jagger or warren Beatty? She is not telling.