Come Into The Deep End... with ImHisServant (2)

[burn97]

I've always justified anger... holding grudges. If someone wronged me (not the little wrong, but heartbreaking wronged) then I would totally write them off. But in doing so, I took the guilt of them, and placed it upon myself, for though I was justified in my anger, I was not justified in my unforgivness, I became just as guilty as them.
Before I became a Christian, I was full of anger, bitterness, hatred for others. I did not see that I was wrong, I did not see that it was myself who was truely sinning.
When I came to God, He showed me, that it was because of this I was guilty in His eyes. While I asked for forgiveness, and expected God to give it, I was asked forgiveness, and would not. Hyprocritical.
After I began to forgive, totally forgive those that had harmed me, I felt this weight lift from me. For so long, I had piled pack upon pack of resentment upon myself, weight that I was never intended to carry. And as each one was given to the Lord, freedom truely came. Though I had not harmed my self in the beginning, my sin was worse than everyone elses combined.
Now, though I am hurt by the actions of others, I find that forgiveness is the only true way to free yourself, not only from the act itself, but from the heartbreak, from the depression and the other problems that arise in it's wake.

 

[LilGeorgiaPeach81]

I've always justified anger... holding grudges. If someone wronged me (not the little wrong, but heartbreaking wronged) then I would totally write them off. But in doing so, I took the guilt of them, and placed it upon myself, for though I was justified in my anger, I was not justified in my unforgivness, I became just as guilty as them.
Before I became a Christian, I was full of anger, bitterness, hatred for others. I did not see that I was wrong, I did not see that it was myself who was truely sinning.
When I came to God, He showed me, that it was because of this I was guilty in His eyes. While I asked for forgiveness, and expected God to give it, I was asked forgiveness, and would not. Hyprocritical.
After I began to forgive, totally forgive those that had harmed me, I felt this weight lift from me. For so long, I had piled pack upon pack of resentment upon myself, weight that I was never intended to carry. And as each one was given to the Lord, freedom truely came. Though I had not harmed my self in the beginning, my sin was worse than everyone elses combined.
Now, though I am hurt by the actions of others, I find that forgiveness is the only true way to free yourself, not only from the act itself, but from the heartbreak, from the depression and the other problems that arise in it's wake.

Thank you for such a beautiful post. I still have not found it within myself to forgive some of the people who led me astray in my youth, but I pray daily for the strength.

 

[ImHisServant]

Thanks Burn97 for that awesome post. I, too, struggle with resentments and anger toward someone who hurts me... and normally I have no problem forgiving others... but in this case it's really hard because I know that it is not going to stop... that this person will continue doing the things he does... or even if he doesn't... it's all he thinks about and wants to do and is depressed if he doesn't. So do I forgive only to be hurt in the exact same way over and over again??

 

[LivingLifeHisWay]

Thanks Burn97 for that awesome post. I, too, struggle with resentments and anger toward someone who hurts me... and normally I have no problem forgiving others... but in this case it's really hard because I know that it is not going to stop... that this person will continue doing the things he does... or even if he doesn't... it's all he thinks about and wants to do and is depressed if he doesn't. So do I forgive only to be hurt in the exact same way over and over again??

Gina: I don't know how to respond to this. I can sense how hurt this person makes you feel and I don't like it. I will share this verse:

1 Corinthians 13:6> Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

A pastor friend shared this with me when someone was hurting me and said that God doesn't want us to be hurt over and over again. We are not doormats, God doesn't want us to be. We need to set boundaries for people who continually hurt us. Forgive, set boundaries and continue to love. *HUGS*

~Christina

 

[LivingLifeHisWay]

Like Burn97 I too was a very angry and bitter person before coming to Christ. When I became a Christian I started down the road of forgiveness. I had to dig deep and forgive everyone that had hurt me (esp. my Dad). I now walk as a more joyful person but I still struggle sometimes. My Dad is always hurting me so I have to constantly forgive him, which is hard to do sometimes. I have set some strict boundaries with him and he knows what he needs to do in order for them to be lifted. Until then they stay and I'm happier for them.

~Christina

 

[burn97]

It is extremely hard to forgive those that continue to hurt you. I know that my dad too, suffers from depression, and alot of other mental problems. Growing up, he did alot of mental abuse, and also physically abused us kids. I grew to hate him. 13 years passed, and I barely talked to him, ( my parents divorced when I was about 12, and besides seeing him when he picked up my brother and sister, I didn't) Then, I moved to Michigan, and didn't see him at all, for the next 4. Anyway.... when I did talk to him, it was also a battle, always harsh words, always hurt feelings. Always a bad situation. Then my mom and dad remarried, two or three years ago, so this guy was back in my life... so I didn't visit. I know, I was a very selfish person, I hurt my mom alot during the first year of their marriage. But I was so angry, and still so hurt.... and of course I had 'justified' hatred
But, being a child of God, has opened my eyes, not only to forgiveness and love, but to the things that he's gone through, the things that he still goes through. He is not to be hated, even if I wasn't a christian. Anxiety and depression, they mess you up to begin with, then of course, all the meds that you're on, trying this one, uping that one, ect... it's a hard time. God has given me compassion for this man. And though we do not have a ' father daughter bond ' I don't think we ever will, because though he is my dad, and I call him dad, he has never been a 'father figure' in my life. That's not unforgiveness talking, for I have forgiven him, and we actually talk, and I go to my mom's house, when I can, they live 400 miles away, so that isn't often. But the hate and the anger and all those other feelings are gone, because God removed them from me, and now when I see this man, I don't see the 'monster' I thought he was, but the 'man' he is... and that's all anyone is... human, we all make mistakes, we all hurt the ones we love, we all do things and say things we shouldn't, because we're human.
You know what I find amazing... the night that Jesus was taken into custody, was the night of the last supper. All the apostles sat around the table. Jesus knew that Judas was going to betray him, he know all that was going to happen that night. Yet he still washed his feet. He showed Judas his love, though Judas was going to betray him. He played the role of the servant to Judas, who would choose money over him. He had communion with all the disciples, though they would abandon him, though Judas would betray him, though Peter would deny him.
Though the beat him, and tortured him, and crucified him, he forgave them. And that is what he expects from us. Hate the sin that this man is doing to you my sister, but don't hate the sinner. If you have to forgive him everytime you see him, then forgive him. I agree with Christina, set boundaries with this person, but you have to forgive. If you do not, it open a doorway to the evil one, and anger and bitterness and hatred follow him.
Pray for this man, and continually ask God to give you strength to forgive, to help you to do the things that He wants. He will help you And Remember, " Love covers a multitude of sin ".

 

[Surrender2Win]

The biggest problem I have in this area is being angry & unforgiving of myself...and I seem to have all kinds of reasons why that's ok. I just don't know how to get over that hump.

That sounds so negative!

l feel like Eeyore! lol

 

[LivingLifeHisWay]

It is extremely hard to forgive those that continue to hurt you. I know that my dad too, suffers from depression, and alot of other mental problems. Growing up, he did alot of mental abuse, and also physically abused us kids. I grew to hate him. 13 years passed, and I barely talked to him, ( my parents divorced when I was about 12, and besides seeing him when he picked up my brother and sister, I didn't) Then, I moved to Michigan, and didn't see him at all, for the next 4. Anyway.... when I did talk to him, it was also a battle, always harsh words, always hurt feelings. Always a bad situation. Then my mom and dad remarried, two or three years ago, so this guy was back in my life... so I didn't visit. I know, I was a very selfish person, I hurt my mom alot during the first year of their marriage. But I was so angry, and still so hurt.... and of course I had 'justified' hatred
But, being a child of God, has opened my eyes, not only to forgiveness and love, but to the things that he's gone through, the things that he still goes through. He is not to be hated, even if I wasn't a christian. Anxiety and depression, they mess you up to begin with, then of course, all the meds that you're on, trying this one, uping that one, ect... it's a hard time. God has given me compassion for this man. And though we do not have a ' father daughter bond ' I don't think we ever will, because though he is my dad, and I call him dad, he has never been a 'father figure' in my life. That's not unforgiveness talking, for I have forgiven him, and we actually talk, and I go to my mom's house, when I can, they live 400 miles away, so that isn't often. But the hate and the anger and all those other feelings are gone, because God removed them from me, and now when I see this man, I don't see the 'monster' I thought he was, but the 'man' he is... and that's all anyone is... human, we all make mistakes, we all hurt the ones we love, we all do things and say things we shouldn't, because we're human.
You know what I find amazing... the night that Jesus was taken into custody, was the night of the last supper. All the apostles sat around the table. Jesus knew that Judas was going to betray him, he know all that was going to happen that night. Yet he still washed his feet. He showed Judas his love, though Judas was going to betray him. He played the role of the servant to Judas, who would choose money over him. He had communion with all the disciples, though they would abandon him, though Judas would betray him, though Peter would deny him.
Though the beat him, and tortured him, and crucified him, he forgave them. And that is what he expects from us. Hate the sin that this man is doing to you my sister, but don't hate the sinner. If you have to forgive him everytime you see him, then forgive him. I agree with Christina, set boundaries with this person, but you have to forgive. If you do not, it open a doorway to the evil one, and anger and bitterness and hatred follow him.
Pray for this man, and continually ask God to give you strength to forgive, to help you to do the things that He wants. He will help you And Remember, " Love covers a multitude of sin ".

WOW, thanks for this post!

How awesome is our Lord and Saviour! How selfless His love. Make me more like you Jesus!

~Christina

 

[powerofprayer]

Thanks Burn97 for the wonderful posts! Sometimes it's so easy to speak the words "I forgive you" but to truly mean it with all your heart is a whole different story. The one person who continually hurts me over and over is my sister...with her hurtful words and actions. She is such an angry person and I tend to take the brunt of her anger - I always have. Is there such a thing as "standing forgiveness"!!! It does get old after awhile...you know...forgiving her for hurting me...AGAIN!! But I keep doing it because I know it's the right thing to do & I want to set a good example for my children.

 

[ImHisServant]

Monday 1/8/07
Family Goals​

Those were some really great posts on the weekend - I am enjoying how deep it's getting, how close we are getting and the bond we are creating.​

Today's Topic comes from One-Minute Devotions For Women by Carolyn Larsen
​

But as for me and my household,
we will serve the Lord.
Joshua 24:15​

It has often been said that the attitude of the wife/mother in the home sets the attitude for everyone else in the home. "If the momma isn't happy - nobody is happy." It is also worth considering that the priorities set by the wife/mother have a direct influence on those of the rest of the family, too. If you, as wife or mother, decide that it is important for you to serve God, it will make a real difference in your family and the relationship they have with the Lord.​

Meet the challenge and set priorities that will provide the opportunity and atmosphere for the rest of your family to make God important in their lives.

Have you seen a difference in your husband and children when you are on track with God vs. when you are not?? I sure have!!

What are some priorities you can make for yourself that would make a difference in everyone in the house??​

 

[LivingLifeHisWay]

Great Devotional today!

I agree 100% that everyone follows mom's lead. I know that if I wasn't so committed to going to church and serving that my hubby wouldn't be either.

Some things we do to make God our family focus is:

We do a weekly memory verse and bible story. I have a learning wall as part of my homeschooling and I include the verse & bible story there. It's huge and covers a big portion of a wall in my kitchen. It also serves as a reminder and it makes it easier to memorize since it's right there. (It's also good for witnessing b/c family & friends will ask questions about it)

We attend church as a family. Tyler & Nadia go to Sunday school.

My church runs a program for children during the week called KidsAlive, my almost 3 year old will start going in Feb. (You have to be 3 to join)

As my children get older I will encourage them to start serving in their own way. We will try to find something that they can do which matches their interests.

They will also be involved in the youth group.

Looking forward to reading your responses!

~Christina

 

[LivingLifeHisWay]

Reading the topic again I think I went off track with my reponse...sorry!

I will say that when my own quiet time with the Lord isn't what it should be it seems the household starts to crumble.

When I am diligent with my bible reading and praying the household comes together. It's probably b/c through bible study & prayer my heart attitude is on track with what God wants it to be.

 

[ImHisServant]

Reading the topic again I think I went off track with my reponse...sorry!

I will say that when my own quiet time with the Lord isn't what it should be it seems the household starts to crumble.

When I am diligent with my bible reading and praying the household comes together. It's probably b/c through bible study & prayer my heart attitude is on track with what God wants it to be.

I don't think you went off track... I loved your response and thought it went on topic perfectly! I love what you do in your home and am thinking of implementing something like that here now.

I can witness 100% about your quiet time expierence... it happens the exact same way with me... when I am faithful in my bible study and prayer... my family follows suit and things start happening spiritually for the husband and kids as well... but if I backslide - then the whole house does. I can't figure out why that is - I just know that it is. I wish there was someone who could life me up when I fall back and am not inspired to get back in the groove so to speak.

 

[burn97]

I agree totally!
I think alot of it has to do with our nurturing side. Man is the strength of the family, in the sense of the Provider. Woman is the strength of the family, in the sense of the Heart.
I read this a while ago... and it really describles woman :


You are my perfect angel
When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them
into being. When I created man, I formed him and breathed
life into his nostrils. But you, woman, I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate.
I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you.
Man was put to sleep so that he could not interfere with my creativity.
From one bone, I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man life. I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do.
Around this one bone, I shaped you..... I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully.
Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile.
You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his heart.
His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life.
The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body.
You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him. You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side.
You are my perfect angel.....You are my beautiful little girl.
You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence, and my eyes fill when I see the virtues in your heart. Your eyes......don't change them.
Your lips-how lovely when they part in prayer.
Your nose, so perfect in form. Your hands so gentle to touch.
I've caressed your face in your deepest sleep.
I've held your heart close to mine.
Of all that lives and breathes, you are most like me.
Adam walked with me in the cool of the day, yet he was lonely.
He could not see me or touch me. He could only feel me. So everything I wanted Adam to share and experience with me, I fashioned in you; my holiness, my strength, my purity, my love, my protection and support.
You are special because you are an extension of me.
Man represents my image, woman my emotions.
Together, you represent the totality of God.
So man......treat women well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile.
I will love you always.
Your Heavenly Father.


Since I've started following God's Word, my children are interested, because it's something that mommy does. Children see Children do. We are their examples. If we lead a godly life, they will follow suit. Even if they stray from the path, rebel, or whatnot, the seed that we plant, takes root.
" Train a chld in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it"
It can go either way, if we as mothers show our children how important God is, how important His Word is, they too will see the importance. Who else is going to teach them? The world is slowly pushing God away. It is our job as the 'heart' of the family to continually keep them on track, to stand in the gap so to speak.
Now, my husband, I have truely seen a change in, though he is still far from God. But Praise God, for He always gives us Hope in Him. Though he speaks of man's faith, look at what He promises woman:
" Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverance of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelery and fine clothes. Instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gently and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

What a wonderful reminder sister!!! Thank You. I too need to remember the role of mother/wife. How important it truely is, and our duty in God's eyes to them.

 

[cristianna]

OH MY GINA! This is such a HOT TOPIC in my life right now!

I know some are aware I'm unequally yoked, although we were on the same terms when we married. Events in my life caused me to seek a greater relationship with God and to really seek Him out. Unfortunately my husband seems to just be testing out the waters and isn't quite ready to dive in. There are many reasons why he's like that, and he's come to really question the priorities and "guidelines" of the denomination he was raised in. I think it's hard for him though because his mother puts on a very heartfelt conviction as to why that denomination rules and is supreme above all others.

My husband is a terrific person with excellent qualities and traits. Many times I've wanted to throw things in his face, but I fight the temptation. It's rather difficult. The hardest one I'm having a problem with right now is he wants the children to have outstanding morals and values. Yet he's the last one to say let's go to church or get up in the wee hours of the morning for church. Don't get me wrong he does attend. For the past year (that maybe a slight exaggeration) he's been there with me each and every time. But that is definitely due to our move. Prior to our move after he infrequently to semi-frequently attended he really chose to attend routinely with me. I fear our move may have hindered any progress he made.

I've learned with him I need to remain silent-- lead by example. We rarely discuss the bible until his mother steps in to say horrendous things such as "you're going to hell and taking my son and grandchildren with you for a not attending a (insert their denomination) church. You're robbing me of my joys when I'm in heaven and all of you are in hell." Mind you this has been said infront of my children. Amazingly dh defends me, and the last time she did that I really feared he would cut all ties with her. Even Christmas Day his mother tried stirring the pot, and I just ignored her.

God has graced me with the strength even when I tell Him I'm done with the battle. And He's never allowed me to falter. Sometimes I wish He would grace me with a more forthcoming attitude. I picked up the Daily Bible from church yesterday, and the Pastor recommended everyone sit down together as a family and read from it daily. I know that's not going to happen and was proved correct when everyone saw me reading last night and no one wanted to join in or ask any questions. Of course I've devised a scheme to relay what I've read, but I know we as a family will not be sitting down to read it together. And that does bother and upset me. Oh how marvelous it must be to have spouses whom actively share faith.

When I'm on track with God I do see changes in my children. They, and myself, are much calmer and easier to deal with. I guess what I mean is there is less selfish attitudes, more thinking about and for others, less raised voices (their bickering can drive me bonkers) and more of a willingness to sit down and listen to what the other is trying to say, etc. When I allow myself to be sucked down the wrong path and stray from making God a priority everything falls apart-- from my emotional well-being to the house to everything in between.

Right now I have all the faith that dh is hearing God whispering to him. So there will be no changes in my actions unless I'm led to do otherwise. And let me tell you... I'm sooooooo excited! I really do believe he's listening and cannot ignore the fact that it is happening!!!!!!!

Some are little things and some are big. Like yesterday at church (I'm trying to not gloat right now)... during our greeting and fellowship part the Pastor ignored and dismissed everyone who was walking up to him. He walked (like he was on a mission) straight to dh to say good morning, shake his hand and said... drumroll please.... "I'm so glad you came today". Now that may sound small and trivial, but when added to everything else that is happening it's just another stepping stone put in his path and what I would call God's whispering becoming undeniably audible.

When the time is right I kind of know what priorities and changes I would like to see within our home. But I try to keep my mind free of expectations and future plans.

 

[tiradas]

But as for me and my household,
we will serve the Lord.
Joshua 24:15​

It is also worth considering that the priorities set by the wife/mother have a direct influence on those of the rest of the family, too. If you, as wife or mother, decide that it is important for you to serve God, it will make a real difference in your family and the relationship they have with the Lord.​

Oh my, I needed this one today. Well, I needed it several months ago. This is nothing that I didn't already know, but I needed a push.

In February a year ago we left the church where we were members. I was very active in several ministries and coordinated several also. Long story short...many people were leaving...we were hurt...I decided that is was not the best environment for my children.

We immediately started church at another place the next Sunday. We went there until the end of July. It was a large church, and it was nice just to sit back and not be in the limelight. However, I just wasn't being fed at the church at all, and I didn't feel a sincerity from the pastors in general. We did go there one more time in September.

Then we started looking for a new church. Since September we have gone twice...both to different churches. There are many churches in our area, but I just can't seem to find one...or know of one where we could be a part of their family. I know we just need to go. It has been to easy not to go...and it is affectiing us. The kids go to an Awana program on Wednesday evening, but that is definitely not enough.

I miss the worship, being fed, the fellowship...

And I am doing harm to my family by not going.

 

[ImHisServant]

Off topic... sorry

Just wanted all of you to know that there is another thread for us to chit-chat in and have fun in... here is a link

Coming Out of The Deep End... with ImHisServant (

1 2 3 4 5 ... Last Page )

 

[powerofprayer]

There IS a major difference in my children - especially in the way they treat one another. I think it's because I'm alot less stressed & I'm much calmer when things are right between me & God. And I have a house full of teenage girls so I keep Him a priority ALWAYS!! My husband, however, is a different story. He only goes to church with us every once in a while, tends to leave the room as soon as the girls & I start bible study every night, just doesn't want to have anything to do with it. We were thrilled by the fact that he recently started participating in grace at meals... doesn't pray but at least he bows his head. He doesn't understand why I get upset when he tells dirty jokes or watches inappropriate movies (not porns or anything but rated R). It's very saddening for my girls & I. We just keep praying for him and remembering that God promises us that "As long as there is breathe, there is hope."

 

[ImHisServant]

There IS a major difference in my children - especially in the way they treat one another.

That is SO true... My daughter is so much more nicer in the way she talks to her little brother when I am in good relationship with God. Also she has a WAY better attitude about doing her chores and accepting "no" as an answer.

 

[ImHisServant]

Tuesday 1/9/07
All or Nothing
​

You will seek me and find me when
you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29:13​

No half-hearted goal setting allowed! If knowing God, living for Him, and growing in your faith is important, then it's worth giving your whole heart to it. You can put on a fancy show for other people and convince them that you're doing a good job of seeking to know God better. However, the bottom line is that you can't fool God. He looks deep into your heart and knows whether your efforts to know Him are shallow or whether they run deep. If they are deep and your heart's desire is to know Him with all your heart, then mistakes and failures will be brushed aside. God cares about what your heart's priority is. ​